The Lost Girl

by Liz Harris

  ‘But I know she’s there, don’t I, and so do the men. And as I reckon Ma can manage without her help now, I want her out.’

  ‘Isn’t it for Ma to decide about the help she needs, and as she said, it’s up to her who lives in her house?’

  ‘But she won’t tell her to leave, will she? And that’s because of you,’ sneered Sam.

  ‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘What it says. You’ve always been her favourite, and you know it. I can see myself in Joe,’ he said, raising the pitch of his voice to imitate his mother. ‘You’re always on about green fields, and it makes Ma think back to the ranch and go soft on you. Whereas me, I’ve worked since I was old enough to go down the mine, and I work long hours, like Pa. And I give most of my wages to Ma, such as they are these days, but does she know I’m here? No, sir; she does not. She’s too busy lookin’ at you and doin’ what you want.’

  ‘I could say the same about you and Pa. You work together in the mine and that makes you real close, but I won’t say that as it’d make me sound as ridiculous as you,’ Joe said, and he started to turn away.

  ‘Ridiculous, am I?’ Sam said icily, stepping closer to Joe. ‘Well, I don’t think so. And I don’t think you do either. But if you are blind like that, and so blind that you don’t know what’s goin’ on in the town you live in, come down to the mine for a day and feel the eyes of the white miners borin’ into you, wonderin’ why you’re givin’ a home to one of the people who’s makin’ them suffer. How d’you think it makes me feel to know that the men I work alongside are thinkin’ hatefully about my family and me? If the gal leaves, they’ll go back to seein’ me as one of them.’ He gestured with the upturned palms of his hands. ‘That’s all I want, Joe.’

  ‘And where’s she meant to go?’

  ‘Have you looked at the town recently?’ Sam asked in mock amazement. ‘South of Second Street to the railroad is Chinatown. The whites hardly go there except to get to the railroad and mine. It stinks of Chinee food; their high-pitched voices are all you hear; baggy trousers, straw hats and long bamboo poles with things hangin’ from them are all you see. And this is America! Let her go and live with one of the Celestials who’ve moved in. That’s where she belongs.’

  ‘She’s eight. What d’you think would happen to her?’

  ‘The Chinese family who’ve got the mercantile have got a gal. She can live there. I’m sure they’d give her sufficient work for her to pay her way.’

  ‘I’ve told you they don’t want anythin’ to do with her, and I told you why.’

  Sam shrugged. ‘I don’t really care. I just want her out.’

  Joe shook his head. ‘You never used to be like this Sam,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s like I don’t know you any more.’

  Sam’s expression softened, and he gave Joe a wry smile. ‘But you’ve never really known me, Joe, have you? Look at us – I’m five years older than you. I’ve always liked bein’ in town, but first you were too young to come out with me, and then all you wanted to do was play in the river, lookin’ for gold. So we never did many brother-type things together. And we did none at all from the moment you found that Chinese gal – you were always either mindin’ her for Ma or doin’ some of Ma’s chores.’

  ‘I guess all that’s true,’ Joe said slowly. ‘But we can still be friends, can’t we? We’re always gonna be brothers.’

  ‘Brothers, are we?’ Sam gave a dry laugh. ‘Well, I reckon that depends on what bein’ brotherly means to you. Look at it through my eyes. Most of the day, I’m in the mine, feelin’ the hate of the men around me. I doubt they’ll be thumpin’ me again ’cos I gave as good as I got, but you could put an end to any risk of that. Ma would send her away if you agreed, but we both know you’re not gonna do that. So maybe you’ll understand why you don’t seem real brotherly to me.’

  ‘I’m mighty sorry you feel that way, but there’s nothin’ I can do about it. Apart from the fact that Ma appreciates havin’ help in the house, I feel responsible for Charity.’

  ‘Another person wouldn’t. They’d find her a home in Chinatown and leave her there, whether she liked it or not. But that’s ’cos another person doesn’t feel the need to be high-minded. But that’s you, Joe, isn’t it? So high-minded that you’d put a Celestial ahead of your own family.’

  ‘You make it sound real easy to kick Charity out of the place that’s always been her home, but it isn’t.’

  ‘Is that so? Well, from where I’m standin’, it is real easy. And the fact you’re not doin’ it, tells me what you think about me. Maybe one day, I’ll have the chance to show you what I think about you. I sure hope so.’

  Pushing past Joe, Sam headed for town.

  Chapter Eight

  One year and seven months later

  March, 1878

  Charity burst into the living room clutching her lunch pail, her face alive with excitement.

  The palpable tension in the room hit her hard, and she stopped short. The excitement left her face and she looked around, questioningly.

  Joe was standing in the middle of the room, his face sullen, and his hands deep in his jeans’ pockets.

  Her back to the sink, Martha was staring at Joe, her arms folded. Stacked up behind her was a pile of plates waiting to be put out on the table. Still covered in pit-dirt, Hiram sat at the table in the middle of the room, rolling himself a cigarette. Sam lounged against the rear wall, his eyes on Joe.

  Biting back the words she’d been about to say, Charity pushed the door shut behind her and stayed where she was.

  Joe glanced across at her. His face brightened and he smiled at her.

  ‘You seemed real pleased with yourself when you came in, Charity,’ he said. ‘What’ve you got to tell us?’

  She opened her mouth, looked at Martha, saw that Martha’s gaze was still on Joe, and closed her mouth again.

  ‘We’ll hear what Charity’s gotta say later, Joe,’ Hiram said firmly. ‘It’s what you’re tellin’ us now that we wanna hear. Isn’t that right, Ma? You’ve told us you’re leavin’, but that’s all you’ve said so far.’

  Charity glanced again at Martha. She was still staring fixedly at Joe, unspeaking.

  ‘We wanna hear why you’re leavin’ and not stayin’ on here to help,’ Hiram went on. ‘Sam and I work from dawn till dusk, but no matter how hard we work, with coal down to eighty cents a ton, we’re not bringin’ home what we used to, and with the prices in the company store as high as they are, that’s makin’ life mighty difficult. We’ve needed the money you’ve been givin’ us; isn’t that so, Ma?’

  Still Martha didn’t speak.

  ‘At seventeen, you’re a man. Most men would stick around and give their ma as much as they could each week,’ Hiram continued. ‘They’d wanna help their family out. Families pull together in hard times. But perhaps you don’t see yourself as part of this family.’

  ‘What kind of dumb thing to say is that?’ Joe said quietly.

  ‘Well, I for one have no complaints that he’s leavin’,’ Sam cut in. He strolled across to the table and sat down next to Hiram. ‘Think about it, Pa. He ain’t much use in a minin’ town if he won’t go down the mines. And what he brings in from Culpepper’s ain’t worth the havin’. With him gone, it’ll be one less mouth to feed. That’s what I’m thinkin’.’

  ‘I’m not walkin’ out on this family, like you’re tryin’ to say,’ Joe said, rounding angrily on his father and brother. ‘As a drover, I’ll be makin’ money and goin’ places where there’s nowhere to spend it, and I’m gonna be sendin’ money back home whenever I can. You can think about that, Sam.’

  Sam laughed derisively. ‘If you’re anythin’ like the drovers I’ve met, you’ll spend every last dollar on whiskey and women. The first thing they do when they hit town with a buck in their pocket is head for the saloon and get all roistered up. We’ll see none of your wages. Yup, whiskey, women and cards, is where it’ll go. There’ll be nothin’ left over for your famil
y. Or to pay for Charity’s keep.’

  ‘Charity pays her way and has done for a while now,’ Joe retorted, sharply. ‘She’s a good gal. She’s always cleanin’ the house, doin’ the washin’ and ironin’ and cookin’. I know everyone’s gotta work hard in a place like Carter, but not many ten-year-olds work as hard as she does.’

  ‘We know that, Joe,’ Hiram said.

  ‘And when she’s in school, she works hard, too. And when she’s not in school, she’s always lookin’ out for jobs she can get in town. And when she finds work, she gives every cent to Ma.’

  ‘Well, she would, wouldn’t she,’ Sam countered, ‘if she’s as smart as you always say she is? She knows she’s got somewhere to live for as long as she helps Ma and contributes. She’d hardly be dumb enough to risk gettin’ thrown out on to the street for complainin’ about havin’ to work too hard, would she? No one else around here would be loco enough to take her in. Except maybe the Chinamen who take on the gals for the tong.’

  ‘I don’t mind workin’ hard,’ Charity cut in. ‘Really I don’t.’ She looked anxiously at Martha.

  ‘’Course you don’t,’ Sam said, with a scornful laugh. ‘It’s all just hunky-dory.’

  Joe looked from Charity to Martha. ‘She couldn’t work any harder than she does, and any more willingly. Say it fair, Ma?’

  Martha glanced at Charity. ‘She’s a good worker, I’ll say that for her,’ she said, her tone grudging.

  ‘And I’ll be able to give you more money in future,’ Charity burst out. ‘I’ve got a regular job. That’s what I was gonna tell you. I’m gonna work in Ah Lee’s bakery three times a week – just for a couple of hours after school. I’ll be cleanin’ up in the back, and helpin’ with the pastries and things like that. I won’t be servin’ people ’cos I can’t speak Chinese. But Ah Lee knows a few words of English so he can tell me what to do. I know I didn’t wanna work in Chinatown or do anythin’ to help the Chinese, but it means I can give you money each week.’

  ‘Aren’t we a good little China gal,’ Sam said with a sneer.

  ‘Hobble your lip, Sam.’ Martha turned to Charity and gave her a slight smile. ‘I can’t say it won’t be welcome. Joe’s right – you’re a good gal, Charity.’ She turned her attention back to Joe. ‘So when are you off, then, son? Your clothes’ll have to be washed before you go.’

  ‘And that’s all you’re gonna say, Ma?’ Sam exclaimed in surprise. “‘When are you off then, son?’”

  Martha glanced at Sam and Hiram, and then she looked back at Joe. Her face softened.

  ‘I always knew he’d leave us one day,’ she said, her eyes on Joe’s face. ‘He’s like me – he doesn’t belong here. He belongs where there’s green fields and fresh air. I knew he’d never go down the mines. Not just ’cos he said he wouldn’t, but ’cos of the way he’s been since he was born. I remember what he was like on the ranch.’

  ‘What’re you talkin’ about?’ Sam said with a scornful laugh. ‘He wasn’t even six when we left the ranch! I was eleven. I did more there than he ever did.’

  ‘And you hated every minute of it. Your brother had a real way with the animals, and he was always followin’ his uncle around, helpin’ with whatever they’d let him help with. If your pa hadn’t been bitten real bad by the gold-prospectin’ bug, we’d still be in Savery and Joe would be runnin’ the ranch by now. Not you, Sam – you’d have long gone from there.’

  ‘Maybe not.’ Sam’s voice was sullen.

  ‘I’m tellin’ you, you would’ve gone. You always hankered after a place with more people and with more town-like things to do. You didn’t wanna get on your horse and ride into town – you wanted to be livin’ in that town. Your pa, too. I’m not sayin’ your pa would’ve chosen to end up in a minin’ town like this – I know he wouldn’t’ve done – but he liked bein’ around people, not animals, and he preferred life in a town to life on a ranch. And you did, too. Not Joe, though, and I’m glad he’s gonna do what I know’s in his blood to do.’

  ‘Bein’ a cowboy’s not exactly ranchin’,’ Sam said caustically.

  Hiram nodded. ‘Sam’s right, Joe.’

  Joe shrugged his shoulders. ‘That’s as maybe. But from when I first started listenin’ to the cowboys as they passed through Carter on their way back home after months on the trail, and hearin’ their stories about life in the open and all the different places they’d seen, I’ve felt a real yen to lead that life, too. Their adventures fair set my blood on fire.’

  ‘If it’s adventures you wanna hear about, I’ll tell you about some of the things that’ve happened in the mines,’ Sam said dryly. ‘That’d really set your blood on fire.’

  ‘Now you leave him be, Sam. So when are you plannin’ on goin’, Joe?’ Martha asked again.

  ‘As soon as I can.’

  Charity gasped.

  ‘A couple of weeks ago,’ Joe went on, his voice shaking slightly, ‘a guy called Monty Taylor stopped by the livery for a new harness. He mentioned he’d soon be bossin’ a herd of cattle up the trail to an Indian reservation in Montana, startin’ out from south of Cheyenne, and I told him I’d be interested in bein’ taken on. I’ve just gotten a Western Union wire from him, offerin’ me a job as trail hand for the summer. If I want it, I’ve gotta join them in Cheyenne in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘Cheyenne’s almost the other side of Wyoming. It’s quite a ride from here,’ Hiram remarked.

  Joe nodded. ‘I’ve talked to folk, and I reckon I can do it in eight days. Mr Culpepper’s givin’ me a horse and an ordinary Texas saddle, the kind that cowboys use. It would’ve cost me sixty bucks. It’s mighty generous of him, but he says I’ve earned it.’

  Hiram shrugged his shoulders and stood up. ‘Well, you’ve obviously decided what you’re gonna do, so there’s nothin’ more to be said.’ He turned away from Joe. ‘Sam and I will get cleaned up, Martha, and then we can all eat.’

  Joe took a step towards him. ‘I’ve gotta do this, Pa, even though it tears at me to be leavin’ you all. Right now, I can’t even bear to think about it. I don’t know how it’ll turn out, but I wanna give it a try for a few years—’

  ‘Years!’ Charity’s cry of distress cut through his words. ‘Years?’

  She dropped her lunch pail, flung the front door open and ran from the house.

  ‘But you always knew I’d go at some point, didn’t you?’ Joe said, sitting next to Charity at the top of the short gravelly slope that led down to the river. ‘I kept tellin’ you, didn’t I?’

  She nodded, her face pale.

  In silence, both stared at the water.

  ‘I suppose hearin’ someone tell you somethin’ is one thing; knowin’ it’s gonna happen, and happen real soon, is another. I’m right, aren’t I?’ he said at last.

  ‘I guess so.’ Her eyes remained on the river.

  ‘I know that ’cos I know how I feel. I’ve talked so long about leavin’, but now it’s really happenin’, and I’m gonna get on a horse mighty soon and ride away from you and my family, well, it ain’t gonna be easy. I’m gonna miss you all somethin’ bad,’ he added a few minutes later, breaking the silence that had fallen again.

  She turned to him, her face accusing. ‘If you don’t go, you won’t have to miss us.’

  He smiled at her. ‘Yup, that’s true. But I am goin’,’ he said gently. ‘Inside me I know I’ve gotta go, even though it’s tough to leave.’

  ‘I’ll miss you, Joe. I won’t have any friends. Mr and Mrs Oakland don’t even talk to me now. If they see me comin’ out of the house, they go back inside and I know they’re waitin’ till I’ve gone. No one in Carter will talk to me.’

  ‘You’d have a friend if you’d let yourself get to know the girl from the mercantile, like I’ve been suggestin’ for years. I can see you’re not gonna make friends among the white girls. They’ve always been unneighbourly to you, and that’s not likely to change, not now there’re even more Chinamen in Carter.’

  ‘I don’t li
ke havin’ so many Chinamen here, either.’ She stuck out her lower lip.

  He suppressed a smile. ‘Have you thought that Su Lin might be lonely? Most of the Chinamen’s wives seem to be back in China. Su Lin’s ma is the only Chinese wife in Carter, and Su Lin’s still the only Chinese kid here.’

  ‘Oh, no, you’re wrong, Joe. Some of the wives are here. I’ve seen them in the buildin’ at the bottom of Main Street near the railroad,’ she said earnestly.

  He shifted awkwardly. ‘You mean in the tong,’ he said. ‘They’re no one’s wives, Charity; they’ve been brought in as company for the Chinamen. You keep away from them. Ma would tell you the same. Nope, you’re Su Lin’s only hope of havin’ a friend. Don’t you think you’ve held out for long enough?’

  ‘Maybe, maybe not,’ she said flatly. She folded her arms.

  ‘A kind person would make friends with her,’ he went on. ‘I know you’re a kind person, so why don’t you go into the general mercantile and talk to her? She and her family live in the rooms behind the store, like a lot of the other Chinese shopkeepers. Their bedrooms are above the store. It’s only the ones who don’t have shops who live in the shacks the company’s built between us and Second Street.’

  She stared at him, frowning. ‘How d’you know where Chinamen live?’

  ‘Mr Culpepper told me. He’s gotten into the habit of goin’ along to the mercantile in the evenin’s from time to time, and if there’s a game of cards in one of the back rooms, he joins in. He likes somethin’ called fan-tan. Apparently, it’s about guessin’ the number of buttons under a cup. He can talk to Chen Fai, but he can’t understand the others and they can’t understand him. That doesn’t seem to matter, though. He said they sit around tables, smokin’ water pipes, and they understand all they need to.’

  ‘Why does he go there?’

  Joe shrugged. ‘I guess he must like them. He doesn’t tell people in Carter, though, and you mustn’t either. He said Carter townsfolk wouldn’t like it, and he might lose some business if folk found out.’