by Liz Harris
‘Actually, it was in my mind to get to know you, but I’d like to see the boy as well,’ Joe said, taking off his hat as he followed her into the room. ‘And Sam, too, if he’s at home.’
Her face clouded. ‘You’ll have to settle for me and the boy. Sam won’t be back till I’m puttin’ the dinner on the table, if then. It’ll be a drink with the men first, then stoppin’ by at your folks. We come last on the list.’
Joe made a sympathetic noise.
‘He’s over there,’ she said, indicating a wooden crib that stood in the corner of the room, not far from the range. ‘His name’s Thomas, though I expect you already know that.’
Joe went across, leaned over the bed, and stared at the child who was lying on his stomach, fast asleep. ‘How old is he?’ he asked.
‘Eleven months.’
He straightened up. ‘He looks a fine boy. Charity didn’t say much about him in her letters.’
Her mouth tightened. ‘That don’t surprise me – the Chinese think only about themselves. You should hear Sam goin’ on about them. He can tell you what they get up to, bribin’ the foremen and all that. Sam knows all about it. They don’t care about makin’ things harder for the whites.’
Swallowing the impulse to give her a sharp retort, he forced a smile to his face.
‘Changin’ the subject, ma’am, it’s you I’d like to hear about, not the mines,’ he said, and he sat down at the table. He raised his hands slightly. ‘I hope I’m not givin’ any offence by makin’ myself at home like this, sittin’ down without an invitation.’
‘Not by sittin’ down, you’re not, but you will be if you keep on callin’ me ma’am. My name’s Phebe. But I’ll wager you already know that,’ she added, and sat down opposite him.
‘You’re right; I do.’ He sat back in his chair and looked across the table at her. ‘So tell me about yourself, Phebe.’
‘Why d’you wanna hear about me? There’s nothin’ interestin’ about me.’
‘There is to Sam – he married you. And there is to me – you’re family now. Charity was able to tell me what was goin’ on with Ma and Pa, but I didn’t hear much about you and Sam. I’d like to catch up with what I’ve missed.’
‘I guess you already know all there is to know. I’m sure your folks couldn’t wait to give you the details about us gettin’ wed – the detail that’s in the crib over there.’
Joe followed her gaze. He gave a wry grin. ‘You’re right about me catchin’ up with that bit fairly soon.’
Relaxing a little, she laughed.
‘My folks weren’t best pleased, either,’ she went on. ‘Pa’s a mine superintendent and they’d expected me to find myself someone who was at least at his level, if not higher. Or maybe someone who owned a shop.’ She put her hand to the fair hair caught in a thick knot at the nape of her neck. ‘I was always considered real pretty, you see.’
‘And you still are a good-lookin’ woman, Phebe.’
‘Instead, I’m wed to an ordinary miner, livin’ in a shack, and I’ve got a baby,’ she went on as if he hadn’t spoken. ‘Sam works hard all day, but there’s not much money to live on. But he’s not the only one who works hard – I do, too. But no matter how hard I work, there’s always somethin’ else to do. It’s not surprisin’ that every day I look a bit uglier. I sure thought I’d get a better life for myself than this.’ She looked around her.
‘I can see at a glance why Sam fell for you. What I don’t understand is, what did you see in that ornery brother of mine?’
She laughed. ‘He was a man, not a boy, and a fine-lookin’ man at that. And I guess that’s why I wasn’t enough of a lady not to get myself where I am today.’
‘Sam’s a lucky guy,’ Joe said with a smile. ‘And I mean that. I know it’s not easy bein’ a miner these days, but I know from watchin’ my ma that it’s not easy bein’ a miner’s wife, either.’ He paused. ‘What about your folks? Can they help you some?’
She shook her head. ‘They’re disappointed in me and in the way I’m livin’ now, and they keep away as much as they can, which won’t be hard for them – they’re movin’ back east. So no, my folks won’t be helpin’ me lighten my chores.’
‘I’m sure Ma would help you. She could show you ways of makin’ things easier.’
‘She’s already fair sick of seein’ me at her door as it is; I can tell,’ she said with a dry laugh. ‘I’ve never had to cook and keep home before. I don’t know how to do it and I’m always runnin’ out of things. With the snow there’s been, I’ve not wanted to take Thomas out, and it’s been easier to ask your ma if she can let me have what I need.’
‘I’m sure you’re wrong about Ma. I know her and I know she’ll wanna help. What’s more, she’ll be lonely when Charity moves out, which I’m guessin’ isn’t far off. She doesn’t realise it yet, but she’s gonna miss her bein’ around. You’re family now, and she’ll be glad she’s got you nearby.’
Her face darkened. ‘I’m lookin’ forward to that China woman movin’ out and I hope she stays put in Chinatown,’ she said sharply. ‘Sam’s full of hate for her and all the Chinee. And it angers him mightily that we have to shop in the company store. Thanks to the Chinee, we get little enough money as it is, and havin’ to give what we’ve got back to the company sticks in the throat.’
‘That must be difficult for you, Phebe,’ Joe said quietly.
She nodded. ‘It is. I hate seein’ him like he’s gettin’. I know I complain about the life I’ve got, being wed to a miner, but Sam’s a good man at heart. You won’t know it ’cos you weren’t here, but he had to work real hard to persuade the company to take your pa back on. Sam knew what it was doin’ to your pa, not bein’ able to provide for his family, and he wouldn’t give up till he’d got that job for him. Like I say, there’s a lot of good in Sam. It’s just not so easy to see it these days under all the hate.’
Joe nodded. ‘I know Pa appreciates what Sam did for him.’
‘Most of all, it’s the Chinese thing. It’s eatin’ Sam up and I hear him soundin’ meaner about them each day. It’s all he ever talks about. He wasn’t like that when he started courtin’ me, and I want that old Sam back. But it’s not gonna happen as long as he’s got a Celestial in his face everywhere he turns, and above all in his home.’
‘I understand,’ Joe said slowly. ‘I really do. And I’ve got sympathy for what you’re sayin’.’
Phebe leaned forward. ‘Then tell her to go, will you? She’ll listen to you, as she’ll want to please you. She owes her life to you, after all.’
He stood up. ‘Charity will marry when she’s ready and not when I say. She’s a strong-minded gal and she’ll do what she wants. But I will have a word with her,’ he added, ‘and see if I can help.’
‘Thanks, Joe,’ Phebe said, getting up and going to the door. She opened it. ‘I’m sorry you’ve missed Sam. I expect he’ll be sorry, too, that he’s missed you. But I’ve enjoyed talkin’ to you, and I hope you’ll visit again.’
‘You can bet I will,’ he said with a smile. ‘I’ve enjoyed talkin’ to you, too, Phebe. You’re a fine addition to the family. Just make sure you ask Ma for help. There’s many a time she’s needed help herself, and whatever she might say, she won’t mind how often you go to her. She found it real difficult herself before Charity came along, and she won’t have forgotten that.’ He grinned at her. ‘And if she has, you tell me and I’ll remind her.’
He put his Stetson back on, tipped the brim to her and went out.
‘Thank you, Joe,’ he heard her call after him as he started walking towards his house.
Without looking back, he raised his hand in a wave, and he heard the door click shut.
The rhythmic thud of the pumps beat time with his steps as he walked back up the line of houses, the acrid stench of coal strong in the air. Glancing up at the sky, he saw that darkness was edging closer as the last bands of orange, rose and violet melded into the purple shades of night.
How
different it was from the nights on the range when he’d sat low in the saddle surrounded by the silence found when a person was far from a town; a silence broken only by the cry of an owl, the yelp of a coyote or by the lowing of cattle; a silence you could almost reach out and touch; a silence that let you hear the beat of your heart.
And how different from the nights when he and the other drovers had watched the sun drop slowly behind the mountains, casting shadows that lengthened and threw into shade the ground where their horses stood and their cows grazed. Or the nights when the sun plunged at speed behind the vast horizon, reddening the sky, reddening the earth, and finally covering the land with a thick all-consuming blackness.
How he missed the loveliness of those nights, their wild emptiness and the taste of air that was sweet on his tongue, and how he missed the peace of mind he’d had at those times; a peace of mind that seemed to have deserted him since his return to Carter.
No, not since his return to Carter – it was since the moment he’d set eyes again on Charity.
From that moment on, he’d been struggling not to think about her in the way that he kept on wanting to do. She could never be his. Chinese and whites were forbidden to marry, so he was wasting his thoughts on what he couldn’t have, and he knew he must stop.
But it was a mighty big struggle, and he appeared to be losing the battle.
Chapter Thirty-One
Mid-April, 1885
As soon as Charity came out of Ah Lee’s bakery, she saw Su Lin standing on the boardwalk in front of the mercantile, staring towards her, her face shining with excitement.
Charity hurried across the road.
‘I was watching for you, Charity,’ Su Lin said as soon as Charity reached her.
‘I could see that. And I could also see you were excited about somethin’. So tell – what’s so excitin’?’
‘You will hear soon,’ Su Lin said with a wide smile. ‘Follow me.’ She turned and went into the shop, with Charity close behind.
Chen Fai was at the far end of the store, studying some bales of red and yellow material that were spread out on the counter in front of him. He looked up as they came in, and smiled broadly. Su Lin glanced round at Charity, giggled happily, and then led the way down the shop to her brother.
‘It’s big and wonderful news that Su Lin has to tell you,’ Chen Fai said, and Charity heard pride in his voice. ‘And there is something for you to think about, too, Charity,’ he added.
Charity smiled at Su Lin. ‘I’m guessin’ what this is about, Su Lin,’ she said. ‘And I’ll wager you know what I’m thinkin’. So, am I right?’
Su Lin giggled again. She clasped her hands together in front of her face. ‘I think you guess right, Charity. I’m to be wed. I’m to marry son of Ah Lee. His name is Ah Lee Don. I am very happy. He is born in the Year of the Rooster; like Joe Walker. This is a very good year for a person born in Year of the Dragon, which is you and me.’
‘I’m so happy for you!’ Charity exclaimed, and she hugged Su Lin. ‘His father is a good man, and from what I’ve seen of the son, he’s a good man, too.’
Su Lin nodded. ‘I also think so. I have seen him in street and I think he has a fine face.’ She paused, her face suddenly anxious. ‘I hope future mother-in-law is kind woman. I not know her. It is custom in China for mother-in-law not to like wife of son, and son must agree with what mother say, even if mother is wrong. Chinese girls in China expect this, but I am not real Chinese girl – I never been to China – and I know I will be unhappy if mother-in-law is not kind to me.’
Charity glanced towards Chen Fai. His eyes met hers, and he gave her a slight smile.
She put her arm round Su Lin’s shoulders. ‘Chen Fai knows this. He won’t let you be unhappy. You’re not goin’ to another village – you’ll be livin’ here in Carter, across the street from your family. And Ah Lee’s son has lived a long time in America so he’ll know American ways. That makes everythin’ different.’
‘I think so, too,’ Su Lin said, her face brightening again.
‘When are you gonna wed him?’
‘Dai lou talked with Chinaman Doc. He looked at our horoscopes and found a date for the wedding. Late in June is very good date, so maybe then.’ She glanced at Chen Fai. ‘But dai lou must speak with you first.’
Charity looked at Su Lin in surprise, and then at Chen Fai. At the look in the eyes that met hers, her stomach gave a sudden lurch. Her arm fell from Su Lin’s shoulders. ‘What do you want to speak to me about?’ she asked, trying to hide her nervousness. ‘Is it about Su Lin’s weddin’?’
‘In a way, yes,’ he said. ‘Wait; I come round to you.’ He put down the bale of red silk he’d been holding, walked round the end of the counter and went up to her.
She wasn’t the only one feeling concerned, she realised, looking at Chen Fai’s face as he approached her; he, too, seemed uneasy.
He glanced at Su Lin. ‘Su Lin, you will please go now and help honourable father’s second wife with the cooking.’ He turned back to Charity. ‘Su Lin and I are now going to talk in American to each other at all times. It will help Su Lin not to forget it when she live with Ah Lee Don’s family. If she speaks very well before she goes there, she not forget it.’
He paused and waited until Su Lin had pushed aside the curtain and disappeared into the back room. Charity saw him take a deep breath.
‘What’s this about?’ she asked, her voice shaking.
He cleared his throat. ‘As Su Lin tell you, she can marry at end of June. This is good date for Su Lin and Ah Lee Don. Is good date for you and me, too, but honourable father not want us to wed in same month as Su Lin. It is also his wish that our wedding is first.’
‘Are you sayin’ you want us to marry at the end of June and Su Lin a month later?’
He shook his head. ‘That is not possible. You remember, a month later is Ghost Month. This is most dangerous time of year as ghosts of our ancestors visit us, and evil spirits come among us and try to capture our souls.’
‘I’d forgotten it was that month.’
‘It is,’ he said, nodding. ‘From first day of month, when Gates of Hell open and hungry ghosts come out into world, to last day of month, we have ceremonies, hoping ghosts not cause us harm. We cannot do many things in Hungry Ghost Month, like travel or swim in the river or start a business. Or have wedding,’ he added.
She stared at him. ‘So Su Lin can’t marry then.’
‘That is so. If we wed in June, Su Lin not wed until September or October. Chinaman Doc will say what is better date. But that is far away, and Ah Lee want wedding sooner.’
She bit her lip. ‘So what d’you suggest?’
He cleared his throat. ‘It is also my wish that Su Lin marry very soon after you and me, Charity. You are good friends with Su Lin. You share many thoughts with her, and you tell her all you do.’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘Is more comfortable for me if wife not have very good friend in house where she starts life with friend’s brother.’
Charity felt a slow blush spread across her chest and up over her cheeks.
She looked down at the floor.
‘I think it very good idea if Su Lin is wed in June,’ he went on, ‘and if you and me marry in May.’ He paused. ‘If you agree, I ask Chinaman Doc to find good date in May.’ He paused again. ‘What you say to this?’
Gazing down at the floor, she struggled to suppress the panic rising within her. ‘It’s April now,’ she said, her voice little more than a whisper. ‘May sounds very soon.’
‘Look at me, Charity,’ he said quietly.
She raised her eyes to his face.
‘May sounds very soon, as you put it, but is not really so soon. I think we know each other well. It is three years since I first knock on door of Walker house and ask you to walk out with me. And you have worked here many months. It is now four weeks since you do me great honour of agreeing to marry me. I think there is no reason to wait longer.’
‘I guess not.’
‘And I not wish to wait longer. For much of the time that we are friends, we are alone together. This is American way, not Chinese way. But I behave always in Chinese way. When we are alone, I never touch you. This is because I respect you, Charity; you are woman with reputation.’ He stared into her face and she saw love shining in the depths of his dark eyes, and hunger. ‘It is not that I not wish to touch you, to hold you close to me, because I do.’ His voice broke with emotion. ‘For many months, I wish very much to hold you. For me, waiting until May will feel very long time.’
She tensed, and felt her breath drain from her body. ‘I should be happy to wed you in May, Chen Fai,’ she said quietly.
His face broke out into a smile of delight.
A wave of guilt for the flatness she felt shot through her. ‘So that’s decided, then,’ she said, forcing a note of brightness into her voice. ‘Now I must think about what to wear.’
‘I already think about that for you,’ he said happily. ‘You are Chinese girl marrying Chinese man, so you must dress like person you are. Here. You look at this.’ He turned and rushed across to the place where he’d been standing when they’d come in. He picked up the bale of red silk and held it out to her. ‘This is finest material.’
She stared at it, and then looked questioningly at him.
‘I order this for you. You wear this on day of wedding – a Chinese bride wears red. It make lovely chang-fu. Chang-fu is long dress that hang from shoulder to ankle. Honourable father’s second wife make chang-fu, and Su Lin embroider yellow dragon and phoenix on it. And Su Lin help you learn Chinese customs for wedding day.’
‘It’s beautiful, Chen Fai,’ she said, lightly touching the material. ‘I’m real grateful to you.’
‘Red and yellow are colours of happiness and good fortune. This is what I wish for us, Charity. I do my best to be good husband to you.’ He paused, and gave her a half smile. ‘I hear Su Lin tell you her fear about mother of Ah Lee Don. Honourable mother is in China so you not serve her. Honourable father’s second wife is happy you come here. She is long time in America and will follow American way and be kind mother-in-law.’