Poison & Pie

by Beth Byers

  “Take whatever time you need and my office,” I told her. “We need what information we can find to get a handle on this. Is Kyle going to pay?”

  Zee shook her head and said, “He has hundreds of positive reviews on Yelp. He’ll be ok. His offer was for way less money. That troll knows he can’t ruin Kyle as easily as he can ruin Martha’s Bed & Breakfast.”

  Zee cut herself a piece of pie, poured herself some coffee and took off. We only had an hour before we closed, and out lunch rush had dwindled to just a few tables. Simon had disappeared with Jane after a mostly silent conversation. I started clearing and wiping them down, so Az would have time to prep for tomorrow as much as possible. We only got into the diner a few minutes before we opened and breakfast was our specialty, so we needed to be as ready as we could be to go.

  We worked quickly, turning the music up a little louder than normal and refusing to seat anyone after 1:45 pm. It irritated someone everyday, but I didn’t care. Today was the day where I put my family—my employees, Simon, my dogs, and my friends first. Outside of them, all I had was my mom, and I didn’t think it was worthwhile focusing on anything ahead of the people we loved.

  THREE

  It was the idea of putting people first that made me wonder if Murphy Jesse even had a family. I suppose I wanted to believe that anyone who loved and was loved could see what he was doing to the people who couldn’t or wouldn’t pay his prices for shady reviews.

  I found myself going to his blog and looking for an ‘About’ section. Once I read it and compared it to the man I met, I knew it was all baloney, but I still spent too much time reading his reviews. Now that I knew what I knew, I second guessed every single positive review. The things was…he was good with his words and he was especially good at using them to destroy.

  …poorly organized flummery serving food dogs would turn their noses up at…

  …if you want to visit a place where idiocy is should be trademarked visit Lonely Shores…

  …The proprietress should be ashamed of her food, her hygiene, and her pricing. It’s difficult to decide which turned my stomach more…

  I read review after review of places that had been torn apart and the comments were even more amusing. People who had never even been to any of these places added to tearing them down. It was like he fed the comments. His own replies to them were as vicious as possible. I had to almost wonder, after a while, if he wasn’t just logging in under other names and starting the fights.

  Either way, he was a Grade A Jerk. He might even been a totally capitalized, GRADE A JERK. They could take his pheromones and make repellant off of him. Everything he said…it was just terrible. He was terrible. I wanted to slam my iPad on my desk over and over again for even reading that hateful garbage and people were just eating it up.

  Instead, I got up and took over mopping.

  “I got it boss lady,” Roxy said, stepping back as I took over. She grinned cheekily at me and winked and I didn’t have it in me to grin back. I was just so mad. She was a good kid, and now that she knew I wasn’t mad at her, she was worried.

  “I need to get out some rage,” I told her. She nodded, hair bouncing in its ponytail, and her eyes fixated on my face. She probably saw the round circles of rage on my cheeks and wondered what it was all about. I hadn’t told her about what was happening, and I doubted Zee or Az had either. We were all a little protective of her.

  I patted her on the shoulder and said, “Don’t worry. Help Az prep for tomorrow and make sure the dishes are done. I’m going to scrub down the diner until I feel better, make some pies and cakes to round it all out, and spend some time breathing some ocean air. And maybe, by the time that is all done, I’ll remember that I like the human race, especially people like you.” I hugged her unmoving body, kissed her cheek and told her honestly, “You are a good kid, a good sister, and an outstanding human, and it is a privilege to work with you.”

  I didn’t care that she’d been blackmailed and had a history. I only cared that she was a good kid. The heart of this person—she was lovely. We needed to spend more time telling people that. We needed to spend more time thanking the people in our lives. Not just our loved ones, like Simon, Zee, and Az, but the people like Roxy who was just a kid who’d work for me for a few years before she found something better than what The 2nd Chance Diner could give her.

  I worked scrubbing down walls and windows while Az did the prep cooking. He’d glance over and then go back to work shaking his head. He turned the music up even louder, and I kept going. Az asked me four times if I was ok. Every time, I smiled and nodded, but he finally said, “Little luv, your smiles don’t go to your eyes.”

  My smile that time was sad, but goodness…it was just depressing. Life was hard enough without second rate villains stepping in and messing with things.

  I finally said, “I’m bummed in my soul, Az. But…I’ll be ok. I’m a lucky woman, and I’m smart enough to know it.”

  Az nodded. He pulled out his phone and snapped my picture before I even realized what he was doing. He grinned at me as I protested and then went back into the kitchen. I put Mama Dog and Daisy on leashes and we went for a walk before I started on the baking. Maddie had appointments until 7:00 pm, Simon had told me he had paperwork to catch up on, and Zee was still on the phone. I liked baking with her so much more than I liked baking on my own, so I’d take my furry girls to stretch their legs and enjoy baking with Zee later. Between us at 2nd Chance, the dogs got several walks a day including when Simon took them on his lunch to visit the other dogs and make sure they all got to play, but this walk was more for me than them. We made our way down to the beach which was only a block away and then I found a good rock to settle on while they chased the stick I threw for them.

  The beautiful smell of rain was in the air and it always made me feel both better and a little wild. The wildness was coming out and the frame of a plan was taking place. I wasn’t sure what we’d do, but I thought if we could get the proprietors of Silver Falls to work together, we’d be able to win against this Murphy Jesse.

  I tried to shake off my thoughts and enjoy the dogs. They would an odd couple given how small Mama Dog was and how loud and floppy Daisy was. But they played well together because Mama Dog, despite her size was much feistier than Daise. Daisy’s deep bark was echoed by Mama’s high pitched yips, and the girls looked at me with laughing eyes every single time I threw the stick for them again.

  We played until the sun started to set and I made my way back up to the street.

  “Hey, diner lady,” someone said, and I turned to find the table of hipsters we’d fed recently. There were four of them, and they seemed to be variations of the same theme. All standing together with their coffees in their hands and their plaid shirts and holey jeans. I just had to grin at them. The one who had asked me about the bikes said, “I’ve been craving that meatloaf since we had it. Is it only a special?’

  I made an apologetic face and nodded.

  “We tried the chowder at Black Fish, you were right. It was amazing. Funny, though, the review on OregonFoodie made it sound like it was terrible.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I…” Well I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t going to lie for Murphy Jesse, so I wasn’t quite sure what to say.

  I must have given something away in my expression because the one examined my face, searching it for something. His gray and green flannel flapped in the breeze and he finally said, “It’s nice here.”

  “Yeah,” I admitted. It was nice here. It was really, really nice here. “Have you been up to the falls yet?”

  They nodded and there were several comments about the beauty of it.

  “You know anywhere that’s hiring around here?” The one I liked best asked.

  “The 2nd Chance Diner is always hiring,” I told them. “But you said you were from Portland.”

  “I just want…” He faded out and his gaze was fixed on the ocean. “I just like it here. It smells like rain all the time an
d the wind and…it feels different.”

  “I get it,” I admitted. “Believe me, I get it. I used to work at a call center in Gresham. It was awful. Everything’s better with ocean water in the air and the smell of rain.”

  He nodded but his friends were looking at him like he was crazy.

  “Music Millennium is in Portland. And Powell’s and Pok Pok. Pine State Biscuits. Brunch at Mother’s. Cathedral Park. The waterfront. There are like theaters and concerts all the time. You’re crazy.”

  I didn’t agree. Portland wasn’t so far you couldn’t do those things. There was a Thai Place in Ravenwood Cove that would make your tastebuds break into songs of praise and joy. There was a lot around the Oregon Coast to visit and enjoy. A lot that Portland couldn’t offer. The beauty of being on the Oregon Coast being—those Portland-only things were only a beautiful drive away.

  The other three walked ahead, but the one who was interested in Silver Falls stayed behind.

  “Friend of mine told me some shady stuff about that OregonFoodie guy,” the last hipster said. “I’m Lyle.”

  “Hi,” I said, “I’m Rosemary. Rose.”

  “Is that shady stuff true?”

  I hesitated because I didn’t want to be unkind…but it was true. I nodded once, and Lyle accepted it.

  “That’s too bad,” Lyle said. He rubbed his beard and then glanced around. “That’s really too bad. You know…Silver Falls is pretty awesome. If it did something like that glass float hunt that Lincoln City does, you guys would pull in a lot more tourists.”

  It was a good idea really. A shot of excitement rushed through me as I thought about it. Lincoln City has the glass floats event. Seaside did a big sand castle contest. Silver Falls…we could do something for the town. We could make Silver Falls one of the brighter spots on the Oregon Coast. Maybe…maybe that was the answer. Maybe…instead of fighting fire with fire, they could just work together to promote each other? Oh she liked that plan so much more than the rest. They could also get him kicked off the judges panel. Simon and the letters would do that.

  I bounced on my feet as I grinned at Lyle and then before I thought it through I hugged him and said, “You’re brilliant.”

  He laughed a little awkwardly and I said, “I have a friend looking for a roommate and a place for you at 2nd Chance if you decide to let go of the city.”

  I didn’t even wait for his reply before I was running down the road with my barking girls pacing me. We could do this. We would do this.

  FOUR

  I went back to the diner and finished my project of scrubbing it down. Zee was done by the time I was halfway through, but I seemed to be infected by the cleaning bug, I had to get it done before I could focus, so she made the pies and cakes for the next day. I needed to make the bourbon pumpkin pie for the contest, but…I didn’t think I was going to. I think I was going to drop out. I already knew it was shady, and I’d rather have our brainstorming session and then I’d let Simon make me dinner. He liked to do dinner because we did breakfast and lunch at the diner.

  When the bell jangled, I looked up to see my best friend Maddie arrive. She’d done my hair my first day in Silver Falls and we’d bonded over gossip. That session and many after. It was through her and an accident that I met the doc, Jane. She came in after and gave me a hug. Things had been weird since I’d learned her secret, and I wish I didn’t know it, to be honest. Jane was a good woman who’d made a mistake and then made that mistake worse by not telling her husband that their younger kid wasn’t his biologically. It was the stuff soap operas were made of and I didn’t blame her one bit for that exhausted, edgy look on her face. I loved her more for it, because she’d heard of our trouble and came to help.

  When the bell jangled again, I froze and then turned to see Simon. He didn’t give me his usual cheery smile. Instead, he crossed and wrapped me up in a giant bear hug. “Az is worried.”

  My eyes might have filled up a little bit with that comment. I didn’t know why they took me in like they did. I mean…Az would have worked for whoever bought the diner. But he didn’t just work here. He was my family. And Zee was the same. I’d say she was my grandma, but the truth was she was my naughty older sister. All snarky and trouble making. Roxy was our little one. She needed us to take her under our wing, and we had. I hadn’t even had to ask them, they’d just done it without a second thought.

  “I think…we need to ignore Murphy Jesse,” I said.

  “Oh I don’t think so,” Zee snarled.

  Even Maddie and Jane were shaking their heads and Simon’s gaze was narrowed on me.

  “I mean as far as the money demand goes. I’m obviously not paying that.”

  “We tell the newspaper here about what we got from him, and we counter it with something awesome. And we pay to put ads in those magazines and newspapers where he’s published. The article that we’ll get someone to write here. We pay to highlighter the ones most effected in Silver Falls, Neskowin, and maybe Lincoln City.”

  “That’s gonna be expensive,” Zee said.

  “I’ll pay it.”

  “But…” Jane said.

  I could see that they didn’t understand, and I’ve never told any of them—not even Simon—that I inherited money. Rather a lot of it. I didn’t want my life to be about money and now I felt like a jerk.

  “I’ll explain later,” I said. I meant it for Simon, and I could see he got my message. His jaw flexed, and I was pretty sure because he’d realized I had this piece of my life I hadn’t told him about even though our lives were winding tighter and tighter together. I…goodness…I didn’t want to hurt him. Not ever. And I think I might have and it made it all worse.

  “So…we need a meeting Zee. We need…something epic. A scavenger hunt through Silver Falls and our surrounding towns. We need some bands to come play. We need advertising, and we need to do it fast before they destroy Martha’s B&B or whoever else he’s targeted.”

  “What about him though? He needs to be stopped.”

  “All we can do is make sure he can’t pull this nonsense here, I think,” I admitted. We could do what we could to stop him from being successful here and to throw doubt on him for other places, but I didn’t think we had the reach to change how people reacted in Portland or in…”

  “Have you made your pies yet today?” Zee asked me, eyes narrowing.

  “I didn’t think it was worthwhile given what we know.”

  “YOu’ll be turning those pies in,” Zee said. “This contest is between you and me.”

  “Zee,” I said reasonably. “You make better pies than I do. I concede.”

  “Oh I don’t think so,” Zee snarled. “You’re all sugar and spice and everything nice and you think you can just concede? I won’t take a token victory. I will crush you with backup.”

  Maddie snorted and Jane burst into laughter as my eyes narrowed on Zee.

  “Your pear spice pie was amazing,” I told her.

  “Your bourbon pumpkin pie is what I make on the holidays now,” Zee said, eyes narrowed, hands on her hips.

  “But that banana cream pie…I went to sleep thinking about it,” I admitted.

  “I actually like that cheddar apple pie,” Zee said. “I eat a piece every time you make it as soon as it’s cool enough to slice.”

  I gasped. That…that…that… “You torment me about that pie.”

  “Karmically,” she said, looking pointedly at Simon, “You deserve it.”

  I gasped again and slapped my hand down on my booth. “You are a nasty mean old crone.”

  “You are naive sugar plum fairy with stars in your eyes. It’s irritating,” Zee said without a trace of sarcasm.

  I opened my mouth to reply and saw the look on Maddie’s face. It was shock combined with humor combined with a fear that either Zee or I were going to dive at each other for hair pulling and slaps. I opened my mouth again to explain and then choked on my laughter.

  “I win,” Zee said smugly. “I thought I was gonna hav
e to talk about gas and rainbows for a second there.”

  I laughed again and Simon joined in, catching on that Zee and I were messing with each other before Jane or Maddie did. It was just that Zee was so mean people didn’t realize half the time, more than probably, she was just messing with you. Her favorite thing was when someone just dished it back.

  FIVE

  I made the pies because Zee watched me like a hawk.

  “Interesting choice,” she said. Her eyes were narrowed as she tried to throw me off my game.

  “You’re a mean broad,” I told her. “Trying to mess me up.”

  “What’s your big secret?” I was sure she asked to keep me further from focusing. But the way her eyes were fixed on me, I suspected that she really wanted to know. It shouldn’t matter that I had money, but it felt like I had lied when I realized that they didn’t know and that they wouldn’t care once they did. But they might care that I had been hiding it.

  Why had I done this? And it was Simon’s patient gaze that was killing me the most. His gentle kiss on my cheek after we sketched an outline of an event to bring people to Silver Falls just as a slew of bad reviews would hit the stands. All I had to do now was finish these pies, grab my furry girls, and head up to his house. We’d have dinner, I’d explain, and then he’d probably explain everything was ok even though I felt like it wasn’t.

  “It’s going to be fine ya big wuss,” Zee told me as I boxed my pies and put them in the diner’s fridge. I nodded once and she took my hand. “I’m not stupid.”

  “I never said you were,” I countered, searching her face. She knew I didn’t think that.

  “Neither are you. You’re not stupid or shallow or cruel or avaricious. You think I didn’t figure out about your money before now? You helped Tara with what? Most people couldn’t afford that, but you got her a good lawyer. You are helping Az’s brother. You gave us all raises. You can’t do that here unless you aren’t taking hardly anything home yourself. I knew you had money from the day you bought 2nd Chance. Thought you’d be stuck up and sit around playing at working.”