Fake It

by Mia Ford

  “Yeah, there was. Except, what he told me, was even worse news. I asked him straight out, as I had asked everyone else if he had slept with Sarah…He told me that he hadn’t, and I believed him, but he was one of those guys that was never good at hiding anything, so ironically, most of us didn’t trust him all that much. He was a nervous guy and after this conversation, I remembered that he was particularly nervous around me, and had been for a long time. I always thought it was odd, but like I said, he was a weird dude…But he told me, that not only had he not slept with her, he had to refuse her…Multiple times. Apparently, she was on a mission to sleep with every one of my friends. I wasn’t sure why she needed to accomplish this, but after all the shit I’d heard recently about her, I would just about believe anything.”

  “You know, people aren’t all like that,” I told him, trying to be comforting, but unsure if I had actually managed to hit the mark.

  “Yeah, I know. I mean, I want to believe that, but that’s not even where the story ends. So, I go to my parent’s house for dinner one night and she fucking shows up! She makes a big scene in front of my folks and my brother, who for some reason completely hates me…So, I figure, I don’t want to deal with this, so I leave. I go to the bar, then, at around ten-thirty, the cops show up at the bar. They arrest me. Now, I’m plastered as fuck, so I’m not even sure if this is real, a dream, or what. However, I get booked, on God knows what and get thrown in a cell. The next morning, I wake up with the worst hangover ever and a charge against me for assault. Apparently, after I left my parent’s house, she stormed out and made it look like I had beat the shit out of her. She slashed her own tires, punched herself, broke a few ribs and did whatever she could, to make me look like the biggest piece of shit walking.”

  “What? Why?”

  He shrugged, “I dunno. She was the one who wanted to leave, it wasn’t like I had money…She wasn’t going to get anything, even if she successfully sued. I’m not sure what her plan was. Fortunately, the charges didn’t stick, but that was only because I got lucky and got an officer who was willing to check out what was going on. During the investigation, we found out that I wasn’t the first guy she had tried to do this to. She apparently had done it twice before and taken the poor bastards for everything they had. The first time, generally, it’s an open and shut case. The second time, it’s suspicious, but the third time, it seems she pushed her luck just a little too far. So, the charges were dropped, and I was let go, but during the process, I had called my parents, thinking that they could at least attest to my story, that I was there and left, before she even left their house, but they were no help whatsoever. They were embarrassed by the whole thing and told me that was what I got for sleeping around with a whore. They actually told me that I deserved it. They refused to say anything at all to the police and pretty much washed their hands of me.”

  Again, he shook his head and I placed my hand on his back, trying to be comforting.

  “It’s weird. I lived with this woman and I was so blinded by…love, lust, or whatever, that I didn’t see the person she truly was. The person I thought I loved, didn’t even exist…At least, not really. I don’t know if she was on some kind of revenge kick, power trip, or what happened to her, to make her act that way and do those things, but it completely shattered me. I couldn’t trust anyone ever again.”

  “Well, I can definitely understand why…” I shook my head as his words sunk in, “God, Johnathan, I couldn’t imagine…Losing everyone you cared about…”

  “No, not losing them, realizing that I never had them to begin with, and that they never gave a shit about me. Everyone I know was gone, just like that…Except for that one guy. Tom. I tried to keep a friendship with him, after cutting everyone else out of my life. However, every time I saw him, or anyone, I would just get angry. I started drinking heavily, which was stupid. I went to work drunk on more than one occasion, because I couldn’t sit in my cubicle and conduct business sober, knowing that this was where we met. Then, one day, she came into my bank and made a big deal. Security was called, she was escorted out and I left. I never went back and that was the day I decided that I was done. I packed what little shit I cared about, took Jake and moved out here. Tom came to see me a few times, but I couldn’t even manage to be civil with him, so eventually, he stopped coming. I didn’t blame him, but I was upset by being alone. I continued to drink, until I realized that I needed to save my money. So, I started to do odd jobs on the mountain for people. I never worked for the same person twice though and eventually learned to pretty much live off the land. I get most of my meat in town, but everything else, I grow, catch, or make. It’s ben a long time since I even had a visitor, much less someone I could actually talk to.”

  I grinned encouragingly at him, wrapping my arms around him for support.

  “I can’t begin to express how sorry I am. That’s a terrible way to have to live,” I replied.

  “It’s actually not as bad as I think I’m making it sound, but it does get kind of lonely. I mean, while I don’t want to put my trust in anyone again, it’s hard not to miss being around people sometimes. I mean, Jake is a great companion, but there’s only so many times you can talk to the dog before you start to feel crazy.”

  “I get that,” I answered, but didn’t elaborate. There were things about this very mountain that made me feel similar to the situation Johnathan was describing. However, at least he was talking about a dog. Still, I didn’t elaborate, and Johnathan didn’t ask. I was thankful.

  For as open as I was about my life and as willing as I felt to allow Johnathan to get to know me, there was something about that conversation that was still off limits in my mind.

  We were quiet for a long while. I placed my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and breathing in the scent of him.

  Soon, though, I felt eyes, staring at me.

  At first, I tried to ignore the gaze, knowing that it was Johnathan, but eventually, the feeling was too substantial, and I was forced to open my eyes.

  When I did, I saw that Johnathan was close to my face, grinning in a strange manner. It was a sad smile, that accompanied dark eyes. The light in his gaze was completely lost to his memory, but there was still a slightly hopeful vibe coming from somewhere deep inside his expression.

  “Thank you,” he insisted, and I returned a beam of acknowledgement.

  “For what?” I asked, turning my head in an effort to be consoling and attentive.

  “For putting up with me. If I were you, I would’ve killed me by now. I can be a real pain in the ass,” he answered in a slightly humored way.

  “I still owe you my life,” I responded, half teasing, “So, that buys you some time.”

  “You’re beautiful,” he insisted, catching me off guard, “And I am such a fucking fool.”

  With that, he pressed his lips against mine, as his arms wound around me, bringing him close to me.

  Immediately, I reciprocated the kiss, weaving my hands through his hair and pulling him close to me.

  The taste of him was refreshing and despite my fatigue, his kiss was inspiring and renewing.

  All I wanted at that moment was to be closer to him, to feel him and to have a similar experience here, in the woods, that we had in the cabin.

  I didn’t worry about being seen by anyone and I wasn’t even thinking about the threat that the psycho guide might still pose.

  Within the moment we kissed, all my worries melted away. I was no longer concerned with the state of my injuries or, anything about the world that did not have to do with Johnathan and I, sharing this moment.

  His tongue was naughty and easily thrust into my mouth, winding its way around in a caressing, yet seductive manner; as though it promised what the rest of him intended to do to me. This caused my heart to race and the sensitivity of my nerves to escalate with anticipation.

  If this was going to morph into an experience I would never forget, I didn’t want to miss a second of it.

  Unsur
e of how days, or even moments would go, considering our mutual baggage and the looming threat of parting ways, potentially forever, I wanted to take advantage of every opportunity to make a memory with him.

  I had learned a long time ago to hold onto the good things and learn from the challenges.

  While Johnathan’s fickle ideas about us being together were frustrating, when he was aligned with my ideals, there was no point in sabotaging the moment. I would rather simply enjoy it.

  After all, the pain was going to come, if it was meant to be anyway, so I figured there was no sense in dwelling on it.

  If Johnathan wanted to be romantic, I wasn’t going to stop him.

  I even held out hope that something inside would finally click, and he would start to see things the way I did. I wanted him badly, so any continuing affection kept me hoping that it might last.

  “God, I am so sorry for being such a jackass,” he muttered through panting breaths, breaking away for only the moment it took for him to speak.

  “Shut up,” I responded, reclaiming his mouth again.

  I heard him chuckle behind my lips as his fingertips ran gently through my hair, taking care to avoid the bandage that still wrapped around my head.

  I felt overwhelmed with emotion as my body began to buzz with fervor.

  Between Johnathan’s natural, alluring scent and the freeing, fresh air that was inherent in the mountains, flowing all around us in the wilderness, I felt spritely.

  Strangely enough, I had never thought much about making love outside, as I usually wasn’t that kind of person. I felt that sex should be a personal experience, rather than a rebellious endeavor.

  However, as Johnathan started to slide my shirt off my shoulders and urge my nakedness, I didn’t care about anything, other than being with him.

  Ravenously, we pawed at one another, removing one another’s clothing hastily, eager to unwrap the gift of one another.

  When Johnathan’s chest was revealed to me, I pressed him down, so that his back was against the dirt. I drug my fingers lightly down his robust chest, gliding over his abdomen and finally, picking teasingly at the waistband of his jeans.

  He growled in response as our visceral reactions started to control the desires of our flesh.

  We were hungry for one another and the arguing we had done previously, contending with the emotion we had both displayed within the past few days was brooding.

  It was obvious that we both felt an intense surge of need, transpiring through our bodies. We wanted to leave the world behind and revel in the oneness of one another.

  Our hearts and souls called out to each other, even though we had fought and even though there was so much left unsaid between us, words were useless to us now.

  I ducked down, seductively surrounding the epicenter of his manhood, while my fingers traced the jeans with a tantalizing slowness. I wanted him to feel an intense sense of longing. I wanted to torment him like he was so fond of tormenting me.

  After playing with the jeans for a moment, my hand covered the bulge, which I knew was waiting to be revealed.

  I looked up and grinned at him, in a seductive, yet teasing manner as I kneaded him, leaving the pants in between our touch.

  As I moved, I slid down, pressing myself against his leg.

  Again, I looked up at him, before carefully, I unhinged his pants, finally unveiling his already starkly enthusiastic member.

  My body shook as I gazed upon it, instantaneously yearning for it to be inside of me.

  Even though it hadn’t been all that long, I had missed him and from the eagerness of his physique, regardless of what Johnathan said, he missed me as well.

  Tossing the jeans to the side, I glided myself up and eased myself toward him. I stroked my womanliness, which was already moist and waiting for his entry, up his manliness, before swinging back down.

  Straddling him, I clasped my fingers around him and started to stroke, easily and with a slow precision, so that he felt every bit of my movements.

  He grinned, leaning his head back and enjoying the foreplay, as I took my thumb and ran it over the tip of his manliness.

  Even though he didn’t say anything, I felt his body jerk in reaction and so, I continued to tease him by tugging and stroking him, until I started to feel a need.

  At first, it was fun, but eventually, I wanted to be the one, feeling the slow, intricate movements I was creating with my hand.

  So, I repositioned myself carefully and after a few strokes, warming my intentions, I inserted him inside me.

  I heard Johnathan gasp as I eased down, before pulling up and then returning, in the same slow, tantalizing motion that I had started with.

  I closed my eyes, pleased to feel him filling me as every movement pressed deeper inside me.

  I groaned as he became slick and my body insisted that I go faster. I swallowed hard and eased myself up, pressing my breasts against him.

  Johnathan reacted by grasping each of my breasts and kneading them with just the right amount of force.

  I closed my eyes and sat up, focusing on thrusting myself up and down, trying to hold the advancing astonishment of climaxing off as much as I possibly could.

  I was enjoying this immensely. Not only did Johnathan make my entire body feel free, the openness of our surrounding, the scent of the earth and the raw feel of it beneath us was invigorating.

  It almost felt as though I was becoming one with the earth, as well as with Johnathan.

  Laying closer to him, I dragged my fingers across the dirt, trying to stave off the ultimate finally, leaving deep, raked ridges in the ground.

  Surprised by my own display of excitement, I was encouraged to continue.

  When I reached myself back up and returned to the hasty movement, I felt Johnathan grab one of my breasts, trapping my already hyper-sensitive nipple between his finger and thumb.

  Looking at him, he was sure to make eye-contact with me, before he smirked and rolled the bead lightly between his fingers.

  I screamed out, trying to pull back, as a surprising sensation coursed through me.

  However, between the hold Jonathan had on me and the connection we shared, I was unable to get away.

  Pulling me closer to his level, Johnathan took the breast into his mouth and suckled on it, while his tongue flicked and prodded, it, before he started to tease the other.

  I yelled out again and started to thrash back and forth. I felt him, vibrating inside of me each time I moved, which caused me to catapult toward ultimate invigoration.

  Going back and forth with such fervor eventually caused Johnathan to simply grasp my breasts and play with them as his member started to thrust with excitement as well.

  Once the mutual ambrosia entranced us, we were focusing more on our rising pinnacle of success, far more than teasing foreplay.

  We moved back and forth with ease, thrashing our bodies around in the dirt, without a care as to what was happening.

  At that point, between our intense need, our heightened heartrates, and our heavy breathing, we didn’t focus on anything other than keeping one another satisfied.

  Finally, an explosion erupted inside of me at the same time I felt Johnathan insert his love into me.

  Climaxing together, we were both completely enraptured in the moment.

  This was the most freeing feeling I ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

  My only hope now was that it wasn’t all going to come to an abrupt end, once we hit the ranger’s station.

  However, as my consciousness disembarked from the trip of pure ambrosia-fueled euphoria, I refused to focus on that.

  Instead, I chose to focus on the moment I was living in; the excitement I was privy to and the freedom that I was awarded.

  I wasn’t sure if I would ever get the chance to feel this way again, so I was going to enjoy every second of it for as long as it lasted.

  Chapter 18

  Johnathan

  Afterwards, I found myself in a si
milar position to the first day that we had made love. While I was even more content by the outcome, I was unsure of how all of it had transpired. I was confused and somewhat disappointed in myself.

  I felt vulnerable, now that she knew the shitstorm that is my life, I wasn’t sure how I should react.

  Some of me was happier than I had felt in a long time, but most of what I was feeling was anger.

  I wasn’t guilty anymore, but I did feel as though I betrayed my own convictions. I was enraged by the idea that I had allowed myself to get emotionally involved.

  After what we had talked about and everything that had happened, I had tried to be positive, but once the excitement stopped and I was left alone with my thoughts, the darkness of my past life was able to creep back in.

  She doesn’t really want you. I told myself. She’s stuck with you right now. That’s the only reason she is trying to be nice to you. She is going to end up just like Sarah, if you aren’t careful. You need to end this, now, before it kills you.

  Although, there was still a sense of trust in Carrie, that I had, though I wasn’t sure where it came from. I figured it had something to do with her honesty toward me and her willingness to call me out on my mistakes, instead of feigning happiness, when she was really planning to leave me, tear my heart out and stomp on it.

  Yet, even with her apparent honesty, there was no absolute way that I could be sure she wasn’t going to destroy me.