Maintenance Required: A small town romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 1)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

He nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. “It’s been three weeks, Kat. I know this is hard on you, but you have to start living again. Maybe go into town and go to the store, or just go grab a coffee.”

  It had been three weeks? How had that much time passed without me noticing? I knew that time had been passing, but I didn’t really recall anything that happened. And how had my mom and Eric been dealing with me? He was right, something had to change. I couldn’t keep putting this burden on Eric to take care of me. But going into town? No, I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t ready for that. I would do better tomorrow. It would be a new day and I would make sure that I actually accomplished something big tomorrow.

  I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

  I made a point of getting up when Eric got up the next morning. I didn’t want to. All I really wanted to do was stay in bed, but I promised Eric that I could take care of myself. I was still reeling from finding out that it had already been three weeks. Where had Eric been all that time? Had he been off at work? Surely I would have remembered if Eric had been there with me. Did he not feel the loss of our daughter like I did? If he had, wouldn’t he have been there with me, grieving for her every day? How could he just go into work every day and pretend like nothing had happened? I was shattered, barely moving from one day to the next, but as I walked downstairs, I saw that he was moving around, checking his phone as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Meanwhile, my whole world had crashed around me.

  His eyes flashed to mine and he slowly put his phone away. “How are you this morning?”

  The question irritated me. Like there was another way to be? “Fine.”

  “You say that every day, Kat.”

  “What else do you want me to say?”

  He sighed heavily. “The truth.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “You want the truth?”

  “It would be nice. I’m surprised you’re speaking at all, so maybe I should take that as a win, but yes, I want to know how you really are.”

  “I’m…numb. It takes everything in me to move forward every day. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to have these pointless conversations. I hate that you’re just moving on with life while I’m stuck here in this painful non-existence. I hate you for being able to shove it all aside like our daughter didn’t matter. You’re just moving on with life.”

  “What would you have me do?” he asked tiredly. “Should I sit around here with you all day and feel sorry for myself?”

  “You think that’s what I’m doing all day?”

  “I don’t know what’s going on in your head. This is the first conversation I’ve had with you where you actually talked back. Most of the time, you just stare right through me. That’s not living, Kat. That’s not even trying. I don’t know how to help you. I can’t make you want to live again.”

  “Because I don’t want to live again!” I shouted.

  “And you think I do?” he shouted, pounding his chest with his fist. “I have to go out there every day and get hounded by people that want to know every last detail about how we’re doing. I have to listen to their condolences, and you think that’s easy to deal with?”

  “You say you don’t want to live, but you were back to work the day after the funeral. You didn’t even take a week off. It was like our daughter died and you just decided that work was more important. You had my mom stay with me, probably so you didn’t have to deal with me. And let’s not forget about that little comment you made in the hospital.”

  “What comment?”

  “You said it sucks when our daughter died. I knew that you were rigid and cold when I met you, but that was low even for you.”

  He scoffed, taking a step away from me. “Wow, it’s great to know that you think I’m even more of an asshole than I had assumed.” He ran his hand over his face, and I found myself wishing that his hand was running up and down my back, comforting me like he used to. I wasn’t sure how I could be so upset at him, but need his comfort at the same time. “I have to get to work.”

  He walked past me and grabbed his jacket off the hook by the back door. “That’s it? You’re just leaving?”

  “One of us has to bring in the money, Kat. We can’t both sit around here and be miserable.”

  With that, he opened the door and stormed out. The door slammed behind him, reverberating through my body. For the first time since the funeral, my throat closed up and tears spilled down my cheeks. Nothing was right. I was losing it, and I didn’t know how to get myself back.

  Eric

  I got off work early tonight so I could go grocery shopping. I knew there was no way I would get Katherine to do so. After our argument the other day, neither of us was speaking to the other. I knew she was hurting, but it had been three weeks and she was still barely functioning. I was supposed to take care of her, to make sure that she would be okay, but I didn’t have the first clue how to do that. I thought about bringing in a grief counselor, but she had flat out rejected that in the hospital. I wasn’t sure that was the way to go.

  I pushed the cart through the grocery store, loading up tons of meat and vegetables. I was going to stock that fridge with so much food that hopefully it would inspire her to at least cook. Hell, I would take a half-assed meal right now if it meant I didn’t have to eat peanut butter sandwiches.

  “Eric?”

  I turned and saw a high school classmate come sauntering over. She was just as pretty as she was in high school, but you could tell the years had filled her out into a classic beauty. Not that it did anything for me. She had never been my type, and I had Kat now. I wasn’t sure there could ever be another woman that turned my head.

  “Hey, Sheila.”

  She walked up to me and rested her hand on my arm. “I heard about what happened. I’m so sorry. How are you?”

  She tilted her head in that way that people do when they want to show sympathy. It pissed me off. It felt fake. I hadn’t seen this woman in years, but suddenly she felt she had to come talk to me.

  “I’m doing fine.”

  “Aw,” she said sympathetically. “It must be so hard. How’s your girlfriend doing?”

  “She’s fine,” I said with more confidence than I had. The last thing I needed was the town gossiping about Kat.

  “I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.” She looked around and then leaned in closer. “I heard that she can’t even get out of bed. Poor thing.”

  My blood boiled. I didn’t have the slightest clue if the gossip mill had started because someone had talked or if people were just drawing their own conclusions. Either way, I was stopping this shit right now.

  “She’s doing fine. She’s not stuck in bed, so whoever told you that can fuck off.”

  She jerked back in surprise at my tone, but I didn’t give a fuck. I always tried to be nice to people, but the last thing I was going to deal with was a bunch of nosy assholes spreading rumors just for the sake of something to gossip about.

  “I didn’t mean-“

  “I know exactly what you meant. Do you think I don’t see the whole fucking town staring at me anytime I go anywhere? Do you think I don’t see their pitying looks or notice that everyone stops talking as soon as I walk in a room? Instead of worrying about what’s going on with me, why don’t you figure out your own shit? My family is none of your concern. We haven’t talked to each other in years, and I’d prefer we keep it that way.”

  I shoved my cart forward, ignoring all the people staring at me. Shit. I had lost it on a woman in front of a good portion of the town. How long would it take to spread that shit around? I finished with my shopping and headed to the checkout lane. People moved out of my way, like I was going to snap at them as well. I sighed in irritation. Just because I snapped one time didn’t make me a monster.

  I unloaded my groceries on the conveyor belt and gritted my teeth as the cashier kept glancing up at me with fear in her eyes. The bagger very gently packed each item, like I would actually snap
at someone for how they packed my groceries. I looked over my shoulder to the checkout line behind me. Everyone quickly looked away. Goddamnit, I was ready to just leave the groceries and walk away.

  “Um…Mr. Cortell?”

  “What?” I snapped.

  “Um…your total is one hundred fifty-seven dollars and twenty-two cents.”

  “Fine.” I pulled out my wallet and grabbed some cash, tossing it down on the conveyor belt. I narrowed my eyes at the guy watching my every move two lanes over. He quickly turned around, but kept glancing over his shoulder.

  “Um…Mr. Cortell,” the cashier said.

  “What?”

  “Um…it’s just that…”

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry-“

  “You know what? I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need your pity or your sad looks. In fact,” I said, taking a step back and raising my voice for everyone to hear. “I would prefer it if all of you would just fuck off.” There were a few gasps, but I wasn’t even close to being done. “The last fucking thing I need is for everyone to stare at me all the time. How would you like it if everyone was staring at you all the time or discussing your personal life?”

  I turned to the woman in the next aisle and grinned. “I’m sure you would love it if everyone was discussing your boob job you had last year. Yeah, didn’t think anyone knew about it, huh?”

  The woman turned bright red and grabbed her stuff before storming out.

  “Or how about you, Gene? How would you like it everyone discussed the affair you had with the Queen of the Corn Fest last year?” He turned bright red, but I wasn’t done yet. “Or maybe we should talk about how the only way that your wife gets through the day is by drinking a fifth of whiskey every night.”

  The manager walked over to me. “Mr. Cortell-“

  “Sam, I’m glad you came over here. Does everyone know that you’re working three jobs to support your family? Or that you have to do it because you had to put your mom in a mental hospital?”

  His face turned angry, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Yeah, it seems it’s not so fun when everyone’s gossiping about you. This is why I don’t live in town. At least in the country I can get away from all the bullshit in town. You want to know how we’re doing? Pay attention, because I’m only saying this once. Kat is doing as well as can be expected. After all, we just lost our first child. I’m going to work, just barely functioning so I don’t have to think about the agonizing pain of losing my daughter. Nothing is right between us right now, but I’m sure you can all guess why. After all, you’ve all been shoving your noses in my business since you found out that I knocked Kat up. So, what else do you want to know? You want to know if we’re fucking again? You want to know if she’s going to leave me? I know that’s what you’re all thinking. So,” I leaned forward and looked at the cashier’s name tag, “Kelly, what was it that you wanted to ask me?”

  She looked around at everyone else before clearing her throat. “I was just going to tell you that you’re twenty dollars short.”

  I looked down at the money that she had laid down on the belt and counted it. I was twenty dollars short, and apparently, a giant asshole. I pulled out another twenty and tossed it on the counter. I stalked to the end of the belt and grabbed the shopping cart, walking out of there like I hadn’t just humiliated myself in front of half the town.

  I slammed the door open and carried in my groceries. I was pissed, mostly at myself for losing my temper. I was normally so level-headed, but right now, I wasn’t thinking straight about anything.

  “I see you’ve had a productive day,” Joe said, calmly drinking from his cup. I tossed the bags down on the table and marched back out to get the rest. I heard his footsteps behind me. “Did you decide that you just couldn’t adult today?”

  “You’re an asshole,” I said, not bothering to face him.

  “No, that would be you.”

  “Yeah? And why’s that?”

  “Well, you’re all over the town Facebook page right now. Apparently, someone recorded your little outburst at the register. Got it all on camera. Talk about spilling the tea. You demolished a few people’s lives in the span of five minutes.”

  “I thought you were over talking like a dipshit.”

  “See? Right there. You’ve always been a little salty, but right now, I don’t even recognize the man standing in front of me.”

  “Maybe I’m just sick of your shit.”

  “My shit? I’m pretty sure that everyone’s been taking more shit from you since Angel died than is really necessary.”

  I spun around and glared at him. “Don’t fucking say her name.”

  “Why not? You don’t want people talking to you about her? Or you just don’t want to think about her?”

  “You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.”

  “I know you were an asshole in town tonight because people were trying to be nice to you. I know that a bunch of people deserve an apology for the shit you said.”

  “Fuck you,” I spat. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  “I know that people in this town want to help you in any way they can, but you’re being an asshole to everyone. God forbid that anyone look at you and feel sad for you. It’s not fucking pity.”

  “That’s exactly what it is,” I shouted.

  “No, it’s not. You’re just too much of an asshole to see it.”

  I lost it and dropped my bags, charging at my brother. I slammed into him, tackling him to the ground and then started punching him in the face. He didn’t even fight me. He fucking grinned at me with blood dripping from his mouth.

  “Go ahead, asshole. Punch me again.”

  I reared back and slammed my fist into his face one last time before arms wrapped around me and dragged me off him. My chest was heaving and my eye was twitching out of control. My whole body was shaking as adrenaline pulsed through me. I wanted to go another five rounds with him, but the arms holding me back prevented me from going after him.

  He pushed up on one elbow and swiped at his lip, taking in the blood that was pouring from his mouth. I might have knocked out a tooth. Then he started chuckling. “You’re so fucked up. You can’t even see what’s going on.”

  I tried to go at him again, but I was still being held back.

  “When are you going to open your eyes and see that these people care about you? Yeah, it’s fucking annoying, but we’re a community. We grew up here. Hell, half of them covered up the trouble that we got into. When we robbed the bank, they played along with us. They could have thrown our asses in jail, but they didn’t. And when you started up your lawn care business as a teenager, how many of them hired you? Do you think Mr. Johnson needed you to do his lawn? You know how fucking picky he is about his lawn. But he hired you because he wanted to help you build your business. And you just went in there tonight and destroyed everything. I get that you’re hurting, but destroying everyone else isn’t going to make you feel better.”

  He stood and brushed himself off, spitting out the blood in his mouth.

  “You know, I always looked up to you. You were my responsible older brother that I wanted to be just like. Now…I’m sorry to call you my brother.”

  He walked away, stalking up the stairs to the house. Kat was standing just inside the door, but she turned away when she saw me looking at her. My arms were released and Andrew started walking away.

  “Are you pissed at me too?”

  “Disappointed.” He sighed, shaking his head slightly. “You can’t push everyone away, Eric. At some point, you gotta let others help.”

  I put my hands on my hips and stared at the ground. I went from being the responsible guy that everyone could count on to the man that everyone was disappointed in. I was doing everything I could to take care of Kat and help her through this, but in the process I was destroying us and pissing off the whole town. I didn’t know how to make things change, but I knew that I h
ad some apologies I had to make.

  I grabbed the groceries and headed inside to put them away. No one was around the house. They had all disappeared to their rooms. Kat was no doubt in bed already, and she would ignore me after what she just witnessed. I sat down at the kitchen table, my whole body drooping in defeat. There was so much I wished that I could change. Nothing in my life was going right. But one thing I would never change was getting Kat pregnant. Even though we lost the baby, I knew a happiness I had only dreamed about. But Angel was in the past now. I couldn’t bring her back. Thinking about her constantly would only make this harder. What I needed to do was get Kat and myself back to a place where we could move forward. Because if we didn’t move forward, I would lose her.

  Taking a deep breath, I walked up the steps to Sam’s house and knocked. I knew he wasn’t working this morning, because I had called the grocery store to find out. It was time to eat crow. The woman at the grocery store knew who I was immediately, and she didn’t want to help me out, but when I explained why I needed to see Sam, she sighed and gave me his schedule. That is, after she told me that I was being an asshole, but she still felt sorry for me and wished the best for Kat and I. It made me feel even worse.

  The door opened and Sam stared at me in shock, but he didn’t slam the door. I took that as a good sign. He stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind him.

  “Mary said you were coming by, but I didn’t believe it.”

  “Of course she did,” I muttered. “Is there anything that goes on in this town that people don’t know about?”

  “Well, nobody knew about me putting my mother in a mental institution until last night,” he said with a slight laugh.

  I winced, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m really sorry about that. I guess I lost it.”

  “Understandable. I’m sure everyone has been coming up to you a lot lately.”

  “Worse than when they found out I got Kat pregnant.”

  He huffed out a laugh. “I don’t know, that Facebook group can be brutal. Listen, I know that you may not want to hear this, but everyone in this town cares about you. That’s why they’re so damn nosy. But you have to understand, everyone in this town has watched you grow up from just a young kid. We’ve all watched as you’ve had your successes. They just want to be there to help you with your losses too.”