Maintenance Required: A small town romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 1)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  I moved on to the coat rack by the door and swung it like a baseball bat at anything I could. I was like a tornado, ripping apart the house with my fury. After breaking the TV in the living room, I stood there heaving, taking in all the destruction. I dropped the busted up coat rack to the ground and stumbled back into the kitchen, pulling out the whiskey that my brothers kept just in case. I wasn’t a drinker, but right now, it sounded like a pretty good idea. I could end this the way it started.

  I pulled out the last remaining chair and took a seat, pouring myself a glass of whiskey. I cringed at the strong taste. This probably wasn’t a good idea, but I found I didn’t really give a shit right now. I finished off the last of the glass with a giant swallow. I must have sat there for a good hour, just numbing myself to the pain. It felt good, to finally let loose and not have to feel in control for once. I poured myself another drink just as I heard a truck pull up. Great, now one of my brothers decided to show up. Perfect timing. I ignored Joe as he walked in with Andrew. I took another drink and stared straight ahead.

  “Redecorating?” I looked up as he stared at the chair that was sitting in the window. “I’m not sure company would be comfortable sitting there, but we could try it.”

  I took another drink as Andrew walked over to the chair laying on the ground. He tried to set it upright, but with one of the legs broken off, it just tilted. He sighed and let it fall back to the floor.

  “I take it your bae left,” Andrew said.

  “She’s not my bae,” I answered, taking another drink.

  I let the whole bae thing slide. When I was drinking, I found I wasn’t nearly as irritated by their weird language.

  “Where’s the coat rack?” Joe asked as he went to hang up his jacket.

  I nodded to the living room. He raised an eyebrow at me and headed into the living room.

  “Holy shit,” he muttered. “I guess we’re not watching the game tonight.”

  I huffed out a laugh and drank some more.

  “Maybe you should slow down, Hunty.”

  I stared at Andrew, his face twisted in concern, and I started laughing. I wasn’t sure why I was laughing or what was so funny, but him calling me Hunty just set off something inside me. I couldn’t stop laughing once I started. Tears leaked from my eyes and my side hurt from laughing so hard. I poured myself some more to drink, spilling all over the table as my hand shook from me laughing.

  Joe crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall. “So, she left you and you decided that drinking was the way to go?”

  I shrugged slightly, laughter still shaking my shoulders. “What else is there to do? Karma’s a bitch, you know? I figured I’d finish the way I started.”

  “You should have fought for her,” Andrew muttered.

  I raised the glass to my mouth and drank down the whiskey. It was hitting me hard, just like the vodka had that first night with her. If I was lucky, I wouldn’t remember any of this day tomorrow.

  “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea,” I slurred. I stood from my chair, stumbling against the table. I snatched the bottle off the table and took another drink. “The love of my life wants to leave me because it’s too fucking painful to be around me, and I should beg her to stay.” I huffed out a laugh. “That’s sounds like a fucking fantastic plan.”

  “You need to sit down,” Joe admonished.

  I spun toward the table and the room tilted sharply. I stumbled and tripped over the leg of the table and went down hard. My face smashed into the floor and I would have groaned, but the alcohol had thoroughly numbed me from feeling anything.

  “Should we pick him up?”

  “Just fucking leave him. He’s on his stomach. If he pukes, he’s not gonna choke on it.”

  I stared across the floor, seeing shards of glass from the broken window. I’d have to clean that up in the morning. I ran my finger over a dirty spot on the floor, grimacing at how dirty it was. I never let my house get this dirty, but I had been busy over the past few weeks, helping Kat get her townhouse. The place she would live without me. How would I keep going, seeing her in town from time to time? Could I really see her and pretend that my fucking heart wasn’t breaking? God, I was miserable.

  “I just want her back,” I mumbled to myself.

  “That’s not gonna happen if you get drunk and destroy your house.”

  “Not gonna happen anyway. She doesn’t want me.”

  I heard a heavy sigh and then I was hauled up by both arms. The room tilted all around me and I had to squeeze my eyes shut so I didn’t fall over, which only made me feel like I was falling backwards.

  “Come on, lover boy. Let’s get you upstairs.”

  “No,” I shook my head. Or, I thought I did. “I don’t want to sleep in that room. Not without her.”

  We started moving, but they led me over to the couch where they all but tossed me down. I flopped over and let my arm hang over the edge of the couch. The lights started to dim around me and the hurt faded to a dull ache. This was good. I could do this every night, and just not feel the pain of losing her ever again.

  My head pounded and my throat felt like it was stuffed with a dishrag. I opened my mouth and worked my jaw, certain that something was going to pop out and explain the lack of moisture inside my mouth. When nothing happened, I peeled open an eyelid and then quickly snapped it shut. The light was too bright and felt like it was stabbing my eyeballs. I groaned and tried to roll over, but ended up landing on the floor with a giant thud.

  “And he’s awake.”

  I glanced up slowly to see my brother, Joe, sitting in a chair, drinking coffee. “What are you doing up so early?”

  “Early?” He glanced at his watch. “It’s nearly noon.”

  “Noon?” My brows furrowed as I tried to figure out why the hell I had slept so late. I rubbed at my eyes and noticed broken shit all over the floor. The TV had been smashed in and the coat rack lay on the floor completely busted. I scrambled to my feet, swaying slightly as the room tilted.

  “Shit, who broke into the house?” I glanced around the room and headed for the kitchen, seeing the chair sitting half in and half out of the window. “Shit. Well, that explains the headache.”

  “What explains the headache?” Joe asked, walking in behind me.

  “They must have knocked me out. Did they get anything?”

  He stared at me for a moment and then he busted out laughing. “You think someone else did this?”

  My head pounded and I raised a hand to silence him. “Head injury over here. Do you think you could tone it down?”

  “Head injury?”

  “Yeah, the pounding in my head? Hey, why did you leave me on the floor? Why didn’t you take me to the hospital? I could have had a serious injury.”

  “Yeah, and that serious injury would have been alcohol poisoning, but seeing as how you didn’t actually drink that much, I wasn’t too worried about it.”

  I glanced around the room again, struggling to remember anything. “Wait, are you saying I did this?”

  “No, I’m saying that you got drunk and someone broke into the house just to throw shit around.”

  I cringed at his harsh tone. “So, did you catch him?”

  “Christ, no one broke into the fucking house. You did this!”

  I shook my head slightly. “No, I couldn’t have. I would remember-“

  “No, you wouldn’t because you drank whiskey last night. Andrew and I walked in on you drowning your sorrows in a bottle.”

  “Fuck, I don’t remember any of that.” I held my head and tried to stop the throbbing. This wasn’t like me. I didn’t get upset and break shit. I didn’t drink.

  “Yeah, well, maybe you should find a different outlet for your anger. Ma’s gonna be pissed when she finds out you broke her kitchen chairs.”

  I winced, rubbing at my stomach. God, I felt like shit. I sat down gingerly in the one remaining chair and stared at the damage. I really needed to get to work, but the way
I was feeling, I wasn’t sure holding a tool or handling phone calls was the way to go.

  “Can you call RJ for me?”

  “Already done. I told him that you had a meeting out of town.”

  I nodded, even though it felt more like my head was rolling around on my shoulders. “Thanks.”

  “Look, I get that you’re hurting and this situation sucks, but you need to get your head on straight. The shit you’ve been pulling lately isn’t like you. Now, people are willing to give you some leeway because they know you’re going through a hard time, but eventually, they’re gonna get sick of this shit and start getting pissed.”

  I ran my hand through my hair, trying to rub some life back into my body. “I know.”

  He sighed and yanked the chair out of the window, examining the legs. After deeming that it was still in working order, he set it on the ground and eased into it.

  “So, I take it that it didn’t go so well yesterday when you dropped her off.”

  “It went as well as expected.”

  “Did she sound at all reluctant about living there?”

  “No,” I croaked out.

  He nodded. “Give her time. You can’t expect that she’s going to be okay overnight.”

  “I don’t need to give her time. It’s over.”

  “You can’t be sure. I mean, it’s been a little over two months. You can’t expect her to-“

  “I saw the look on her face,” I interjected. “Trust me, it’s over for her. Whatever we had, it’s gone.”

  “I’m sorry, man.”

  “Me too.”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes before he stood. “I have to go help out on a job. I expect this shit to be cleaned up by the time I get home.”

  He squeezed my shoulder, making me feel like he was the older brother and I was the fuck up. I was never the fuck up, and I found that I really didn’t like it. So, I made myself some coffee and I got to work cleaning up the house. I refused to sit and mope about my failed relationship. If she could move on, so could I.

  Katherine

  After two weeks of sitting around my townhouse, I decided that it was time for me to get out. It had been easier being here, away from all the reminders of what I once had. Sleeping was a little easier, and not having the reminders of my child around me all the time made it easier to heal. Not that I was healed, but I felt like I was moving forward, even if it was only in small steps.

  Now, I sat in my car outside the hospital and willed myself to go inside. I wasn’t sure I could do this, but I had to start working again. Eric had made sure that I had money in my account to get me through a few weeks. It was nice of him, and if I asked him for more money, I knew he would give it in a heartbeat. But I wasn’t about to do that. Eric and I were over. It didn’t matter what we once had. I had ended things with him and now it was my responsibility to pick myself up and get back on my feet.

  I opened the door and walked into the hospital. I felt a slight panic at being here again, but I had to push on. I needed the income. I bypassed the maternity ward and headed for the children’s center. As expected my boss was at the nurse’s station, ordering everyone around like she usually did. When she glanced up and saw me, she pursed her lips.

  “Hi, Charlene.”

  “Katherine. Are you ready to come back?”

  I swallowed hard, hoping I was right to do this. “I think so.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me. “Look, if you’re not ready, I can’t have you coming back here and losing it on the patients. They need a nurse that can take care of them, not someone that will start crying at the drop of a hat.”

  I felt like I had been slapped, but then her face softened.

  “I’m not trying to be cruel, Katherine. I want you to really think about this before you come back. It’s not just the patients that are depending on you. The other nurses need to know that you’re capable of doing your job. Go home and think about it for another day. If you’re sure you’re ready to come back, give me a call and I’ll put you on the schedule.”

  I nodded, but before I could say anything, she turned from me and went back to work. I was just turning to leave when I saw Chrissy in the hallway with Casey’s parents. I didn’t have a right to go over there and talk to them. I wasn’t on duty and I hadn’t been in months. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on.

  Casey’s mom turned to me with a big grin as I approached. I put on my best fake smile. “Hi, Cynthia. How’s Casey?”

  “She’s doing great. Her scans came back clean. She gets to go home finally.”

  “That’s wonderful,” I said sincerely. Casey had been in this hospital for way too long. She deserved to go home.

  “I just can’t believe it. All this time in the hospital, I didn’t think she was going to make it. Now we can go home and finally start living again. I just didn’t think this was going to happen.” She shook her head with tears in her eyes. “You know, all those times that I thought I would never see her ride a bike again or even read her a story in her own bed.” She swiped at her face and smiled, taking a deep breath. “It really is a miracle.”

  She kept going, talking about how wonderful it was that Casey was going home, and it was. But the whole time she spoke, it just felt like a punch to the gut. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to stop rubbing it in. I got it, she still had her daughter, but I didn’t have mine. How was that fair?

  Chrissy gripped my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I have to get back on rounds, but let me know when you’re all packed up. I’ll bring in a wheelchair for Casey.”

  “Thank you, Chrissy.”

  Chrissy pulled me away, my feet feeling like lead as she dragged me down the halls of the hospital. She pulled me into the break room and shoved me into a chair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were coming in today.”

  “Did you hear her?” I asked woodenly. “My daughter’s going home. I never thought I would read her a story…”

  “Kat, she’s excited. Casey’s been in the hospital for a long time.”

  “But she knows that I lost my daughter,” I snapped. “How about a little sensitivity?”

  Chrissy sighed and pulled out a chair, sitting down beside me. “Alright, I’m going to tell you something, but I want you to remember that I’m saying this because I love you.” I rolled my eyes, but nodded. “Kat, you’re being a selfish bitch.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”

  “You are. I’m sorry, but you need to hear this. I know you lost your baby and that’s killing you. But Cynthia has every reason in the world to gush over the fact that her daughter is going home. She’s not being rude or trying to be hurtful. Her daughter has been suffering for years. In a way, you got lucky. Yes, your daughter died, but she didn’t suffer for years. You didn’t have to be in Cynthia’s shoes, wondering if she would ever get to hold her daughter again. I know it’s still painful, but there are a ton of people suffering in this world, and you need to wake up and realize that you’re not alone in this. You’ve already pushed Eric away, and he’s hurting just as much as you are.”

  “I doubt that,” I grumbled.

  “Just because he didn’t get lost in his mind or sit around moping for months doesn’t mean that he’s not hurting. Guys are different than us. They’re fixers. He needed to fix you, but there was no way he could ever do that. So, he did what any guy would do and he tried to move on, to lessen the pain. You have to stop judging other people for how they’re acting. The world moves on, even though you feel like it’s stuck in one place and time. Now, you have a choice. You can either choose to take every happy moment and turn it into a sad or angry one, or you can push on with life.”

  “How do I do that? You don’t get it. You don’t understand what this is like.”

  “No, I don’t, but I also know that if you continue to mourn your child the way you are now, you’re going to lose everything about you that makes you who you are. You’re going to lose Eric. You’re going
to lose the chance to have the family that you could have had.”

  Tears slipped down my cheeks and I quickly swiped them away. “Eric and I don’t fit. Come on, Chrissy. You know we were never meant to be.”

  “What I know is that you had something great with him, but you let your grief take over and push him away. That man would take you back in an instant, if only you would let him in.”

  I considered this, but there was still one problem. “I’m different now. Even if I wanted him back, will he like the person I am now? I cry a lot, and I’m not that nice to people.”

  “He’s not that nice anymore either. You make the perfect couple,” she laughed. “Seriously, it’s only been a couple of months. You can’t expect that you’re going to bounce back all at once, but you also can’t just let life defeat you like this. Take life by the horns and make her your bitch.”

  I huffed out a laugh and let her pull me into her arms for a hug. I knew that she was right. I just had to let my mind and my heart get on the same page.

  “You know what you need?”

  “What?”

  “You need something to remind you that you’re still alive.”

  I quirked an eyebrow at her. “Chrissy, I think I’m long past my days of acting like a crazy person.”

  “Well, who knows. If you play this right, you might even convince Eric to do something crazy with you.”

  I took a few more days to get my head on straight and then I called Charlene to put me on the schedule. She said I could start slow, working half the hours I normally did, which I thought was wise. Considering that I hadn’t worked in several months, if I went back full force, I would wear myself out. I took my time, getting my townhouse in order and making it my own, but it never was. My home was with Eric at the farmhouse, where we could sit out under my favorite tree. This place would never feel like home to me, no matter how much decorating I did.

  My doorbell rang and I reluctantly went to the door to answer. I didn’t want company. I just wanted to be left in peace. It was no doubt some nosy person from town that came to check on me. And I was sick of being checked on. I flung the door open and was surprised to see Andrew standing on my doorstep, holding a box of pizza.