Shelf Awareness: Green Valley Library Book #4

by Romance, Smartypants

“I don’t know. Maybe a part off one of the desks or chairs. I should probably give it to maintenance, so they can check all the furniture in here.”

  Oh hell no. Without a second thought, I snatched the ball out of his hands. Since I did it rather abruptly, Zeke’s surprise was apparent on his face. Waving my free hand dismissively, I said, “Don’t bother yourself with that. I’ll take it to them.”

  “Thanks, Finley.”

  After wheezing out a breath, I replied, “You’re welcome.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll go do that right now.”

  I didn’t bother waiting for Zeke to reply. Instead, I powerwalked right out of the history room. I’m sure if he was watching me he would have been puzzled at my miraculous recovery, considering I’d been limping earlier.

  At the first trash can I could find, I deposited the Ben Wa ball. It seemed abundantly clear that neither I nor my vagina were quite ready to handle the responsibility.

  Chapter Twelve

  Somedays you wake up more focused and driven than others. Take today for example. After turning off my alarm clock, an idea came charging through my mind and wouldn’t let go. At first, I shrugged it away, but even as I showered, it persisted. It remained through all the voices of doubt shredding it to pieces.

  After slipping on my clothes, I was even more determined: I was going to ask Zeke to dinner tomorrow night.

  My resolve stayed strong all through breakfast and my walk to work. However, the moment I breezed through the library doors and saw Zeke at one of the computers, my resolve depleted like letting the air out of a balloon.

  Throughout the morning, I had moments where I would regain my strength. With a renewed purpose in my step, I would start out of the history room. But then I would deflate again and rush back inside.

  “Seriously, Finley, would you stop making this such a big deal? It’s just dinner. You’re not asking the man to father your children. It’s a simple meat and two veg opportunity over at The Front Porch,” I muttered to myself.

  As soon as I had uttered the words, the voice in my head challenged, “Zeke’s a good-looking guy. Every woman under fifty who comes in the library checks him out. He has the pick of any woman in Green Valley. Why on earth would he choose a woman whose husband left her for another man?”

  “Asshole,” I countered.

  “Hey,” Zeke called from the doorway.

  My hand flew to my chest. “Shit. You scared me.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  I sure as hell hoped he hadn’t just heard what I was talking about. “What’s up?”

  “I thought I might take a look at those mid-80s newspapers again.”

  With a nod, I rose out of the computer chair. “Have at it.” After he swept past me and had a seat, I added, “Good luck.”

  Zeke grinned. “Thanks.”

  Do it, Finley! At the annoying voice in my head, I grunted in frustration.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, fine.”

  Although I tried busying myself, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. After eyeing the book The Strength of the Indigenous Woman, I sighed. If those women could survive war, famine, and trying to keep animal skins clean, I sure as hell could grow a pair and ask Zeke to dinner.

  “So, um, what are you up to this weekend?” I questioned casually.

  “Tomorrow night I’m going to go to this Summer Solstice cosplay event in Knoxville.”

  Damn. There went my potential dinner plans. “You are?”

  He nodded. “I figured I needed to check out the scene here on the East Coast.”

  “Yeah, you totally should.”

  “Come to find out when I got on the forums, Tennessee has a pretty active cosplay community.”

  “Really?”

  With an enormous grin, Zeke replied, “Oh yeah.”

  Dear Lord, this drop-dead sexy man was such a nerd. “That’s nice.”

  After whirling around in his chair, Zeke pointed a finger at me. “You should come.”

  While I might’ve been prepared to ask him to go to dinner, I was not quite ready for him to bestow an invitation on me—one that somewhat resembled a date. With my heartbeat at a full gallop, I played it cool by saying, “Oh, I don’t know.”

  “Seriously, not only would it be fun, but it would be a great way for you to see the scene isn’t as weird as you think.”

  “I never said cosplay was weird.”

  Zeke grinned. “You didn’t have to verbalize it. Your face said it all.”

  “Sorry.”

  “So, come to the event and see what it’s like.”

  “An event makes it sound a little overwhelming.”

  “Nah, it’s really more like a big party.”

  At the word party, my excitement shriveled and died. I didn’t do parties. Well, I guess I should rephrase that. I did birthday parties at friends’ houses and restaurants. I also did social engagements like when Grant somehow managed to talk me into joining the Junior League. However, the one thing I had never done, even in my prime, was parties. I had such a strong aversion to them I hadn’t pledged a sorority in college. My fear of mixers had been too great.

  There was something about a bunch of sweaty strangers dry humping to bass loud enough to bust your eardrums that made my skin crawl. Maybe I was pretentious since I far preferred crustless sandwiches to weed-laced brownies. Maybe it was because those people dry humping weren’t self-conscious of their dancing ability or their sexual allure.

  Swallowing hard, I replied, “Actually, I’m not really a fan of parties.”

  Zeke groaned. “Let me guess. It’s because of the cosplay?”

  “No. I’m not a fan of any type of party.”

  “You say that now, but you’ve never been to a cosplay party.”

  “Are you trying to say simply because people are outfitted in costumes, it makes it somehow different than the usual ‘drink until you puke’ rave?”

  Amusement twinkled in Zeke’s eyes. “A rave? Are we back in the early 2000s? They aren’t like that.”

  “Seriously?”

  “While I want them to sound cool, it’s really just a bunch of people in costume standing around talking or dancing. There’s very little Day-Glo or edibles.”

  I couldn’t help grinning at his summation. “You’re really wanting me to come?”

  Zeke nodded. “I would love to show you we aren’t as weird as you think we are.”

  “I’m pretty sure the ship has sailed on that one,” I replied with a smile.

  “The destination of said ship can certainly be changed. I want you to see that your attorney, the guy who mows your lawn, or even your doctor could be doing cosplay on the weekends.”

  “How comforting.”

  Chuckling, Zeke replied, “Come on. You got anything better to do?”

  Of course, I didn’t. That went without saying. Whenever I opened my planner, tumbleweeds would blow out of it. It was one thing to go to Maryville with Zeke to the movies or take a hike in the mountains. It was an entirely different thing to be in a car half an hour en route to a party. What if he asked me to dance? What if he didn’t ask me to dance? Jesus, I was acting like I was thirty going on thirteen.

  In spite of most of my immature inner monologue, I realized I wanted to go to the party. I wanted to be young and free and adventurous. For someone like me, it didn’t get much more adventurous than donning a costume for no good reason.

  “Okay. You wore me down. I’d love to go.”

  Zeke’s brows shot up. “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay then. The party starts at eight, so after mapping out the route, we’ll need to leave here at seven to allow time for traffic.”

  I fought the urge to laugh. Of course, he’d already mapped out the route. “I get off at five tomorrow, so that would give me enough time to get ready.” Then it hit me. “Wait, I don’t know what to wear.”

  “Just think about a character that means something to you.”
>
  “Okay, if I did that, I certainly don’t have anything costume-wise in my closet. Not to mention it goes without saying Green Valley doesn’t have a costume shop.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Most cosplay costumes aren’t store bought. They’re pieced together from other clothing.”

  “What are you going as?”

  “Luke Skywalker. You know, from Star Wars.”

  “Is there another?” I teasingly asked.

  He chuckled. “No. I don’t suppose there is.”

  “Somehow I don’t think you just ‘pieced together’ a Luke Skywalker costume.”

  “You’re right. I bought one.”

  Smiling, I replied, “Zeke Masters you are an epic nerd.”

  He returned my smile. “Yes, I am. And tomorrow night, you will be too.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  My steps felt infinitely lighter on the way home from work than they had that morning. I had plans on a Friday night that didn’t involve the girls. Moreover, I had plans with Zeke. Sure, it was just as friends. And yes, it was somewhere totally outside my comfort zone. But I was going to go and give it my best shot. The ol’ cliché of new life, new experiences, new me.

  When I walked in the door, I went straight to the living room where I’d left my laptop last night. I found Dot lounging on the couch with the TV on for background noise as she knitted. “Hi Finnie. How was your day?” Dot asked.

  “Fine. And yours?”

  Dot momentarily halted her knitting. “I swear it must be a full moon because the hospital was absolutely crazy.” Three days a week, Dot volunteered at the hospital in Maryville. She manned the desk in the lobby and directed people to which room a patient was in.

  After I sank down in the high-back chair, I pulled the computer into my lap. Since I didn’t even know what character I wanted to be, I decided the best way to start was with a little research.

  “Wear something that is part of you,” I murmured, reiterating Zeke’s words as my fingers hovered over the keyboard.

  “What’s that dear?” Dot questioned.

  “Nothing. I was just talking to myself.”

  “You know, I’ve heard that is a sign of intelligence.” Dot paused in her knitting. “Now where did I read that?”

  While she prattled away about whether she’d actually read it or seen it on television, I focused back on the task before me. Unlike Zeke, I didn’t live and die for Star Wars or Marvel or any of the really big fandoms. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a few minutes before I finally typed, Cosplay librarian.

  As I scrolled through the results, Estelle swept into the living room with a magazine in her hand. “I didn’t hear you come in,” she said.

  “I haven’t been home long.”

  “There’s eggplant parmesan for dinner.”

  I tore my gaze from the screen momentarily to smile at her. “I thought I smelled something delicious.”

  Dot harrumphed. “You know I can’t tolerate spicy foods.”

  As the two of them argued about Dot’s sensitive palette, I tried weeding out my search results. Specifically, I tried to find the ones that entailed actually wearing clothes. The naughty librarian cliché was out in full force. I did see one I liked. It was from the character Evie Carnahan in The Mummy.

  GramBea peered over my shoulder. A very audible gasp of horror escaped her lips. “Are you looking at porn?”

  “Do you honestly think if I was going to look at pornography I’d be doing it out here in the living room with you guys?”

  With a grunt, she righted herself. “Honestly, in this day and age, I have no idea.”

  “Trust me, I wouldn’t.”

  “Then what is that?”

  “Librarian cosplay costumes.”

  “What on earth is a cosplay?”

  Oh, Jesus, how was I going to get out of this one? Thankfully, as the more modern thinker, Estelle fielded that one for me. “It’s like an adult dress-up party but not during Halloween,” she replied.

  GramBea motioned at my screen. “I’d hardly call that dressing up. Why, they’re barely wearing any clothes!”

  As much as I hated to admit it, she had a point. “Unfortunately, it appears ninety percent of cosplay for women is sexy.” I was actually being kind. The vast majority I’d stumbled across was downright slutty.

  “Why on earth are you looking at those?”

  “Because Zeke invited me to go to a cosplay party with him Friday night.”

  The minute the words left my mouth a bomb went off in the living room. Dot shot off the couch like a rocket while GramBea whirled around the chair in a blur. It was seriously the fastest I’d seen them move in years. “You have a date?” GramBea blurted.

  “Wait, who is Zeke?” Dot asked.

  GramBea waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, you remember. The young man working on the computers at the library.”

  Dot’s blue eyes widened. “Oh, my, he is a nice-looking man.”

  Estelle grinned. “Even I would agree on that one.”

  “Would you two focus?” GramBea huffed. Narrowing her eyes at me, she repeated, “You have a date?”

  This was one of those moments I really should have thought through better. Sure, there was really no way of getting out of the house on Friday without them knowing where I was going. At the same time, I could have claimed I was working late again and simply gotten ready at the library.

  Looking at GramBea, I said, “Seriously, it’s not a date. It’s just two work colleagues spending some time outside of the library.”

  “Are you going to leave out the part where the two of you had dinner the other night?” Estelle asked, her gaze not leaving her yoga magazine.

  My eyes bulged. I couldn’t believe my greatest ally had just ratted me out. “That was not a date!”

  Lowering her magazine, she replied, “I didn’t say it was. I merely stated the two of you had previously been out.”

  “It wasn’t like we planned it.” At GramBea’s and Dot’s expectant faces, I shook my head. “The other night when Marcus flaked on me, Zeke was the one I had dinner with.”

  GramBea swept a hand dramatically to her chest. “You lied to us.”

  “Oh please. I told you I had dinner with a coworker. Zeke is a coworker.”

  “You were still dishonest.”

  I wagged my finger at her. “I had just experienced the worst fix-up and/or date of my life. I was allowed to stretch the truth.”

  “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s how it does for me.”

  “If I hadn’t come in here and saw what you were looking at, would you have told me about the date?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Did you ever stop to think the reason I wouldn’t tell you is because of your over-the-top interrogation methods?”

  “Are you faulting me for being curious?”

  “I think we surpassed mere curiosity a long time ago.”

  “Well, I’m sorry for wanting to be involved in your life and wanting you to be happy.”

  Estelle groaned. “Quit vying for martyrdom, Bea.”

  GramBea’s eyes bulged. “I am not being a martyr.”

  “You could’ve fooled me. Let Finnie live and let live. It’ll be better for all of us.”

  Throwing up her hands, GramBea replied, “Fine. I’ll not say another word.”

  Estelle and I exchanged a look that said we both knew her declaration was full of shit. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to trying to find a cosplay costume,” I said.

  Eyeing her manicure, GramBea replied, “You are aware I sew.”

  “Yes, I am. However, I didn’t think you worked on rush notice.”

  “For you I would.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  Swirling her pointer finger at the screen, GramBea asked, “Is that something you’re interested in?”

  It was the Evie costume from Th
e Mummy. “Maybe. Why?”

  “Because I think I might have something to fit the bill in the attic.”

  My brows shot up. “You do?”

  “Want to take a look with me?”

  “Hell yes.”

  Although I could tell GramBea wanted to chastise me for my language, she managed to bite her tongue. I followed her upstairs. At the end of the hallway was the door that led to the attic. I probably hadn’t been inside it since I was a child. My brother and I had spent many a summer day playing hide and seek up there.

  After climbing the stairs, a cloud of dust and cobwebs met us as we entered the attic. Gazing around, I murmured, “Wow, it really hasn’t changed in all these years.”

  “We added a few things when Dot and Estelle moved in, but they also put some things in a storage unit in Maryville.”

  As I wove through the trunks and antique furniture, I couldn’t help laughing.

  “What?” GramBea asked.

  “I was just thinking how this feels like the scene in Sleepless in Seattle when Meg Ryan’s mom takes her to the attic to give her a wedding dress. But instead, I’m getting a potential cosplay costume to wear for my nerd crush.”

  GramBea threw a glance at me over her shoulder. “Crush?” she questioned as her expression turned hopeful.

  Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. “I wouldn’t exactly call it a crush.”

  “But you did.”

  “Well, I spoke out of turn.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I threw up my hands in a huff. “Fine. I’m interested in Zeke as more than a coworker. Are you happy now?”

  GramBea grinned. “Blissfully.”

  “I’m not divorced yet,” I once again reminded her.

  She shrugged. “So?”

  “I don’t think it’s the right time for me to have a crush. Especially with someone I work with.”

  “When would be the right time?”

  I paused to think about it for a moment. “I don’t know.”

  “Exactly. There’s no time like the present.”

  I traced my name in the layer of dust on one of the trunks. “I don’t know. It just seems too soon. Like there should be a set amount of time for your heart to heal.”

  “Hearts don’t mend overnight, but at the same time, they are always in a constant state of healing.” She gave me a pointed look. “Take me for example. Some days I’m completely over losing your grandfather while other days the ache is so intense I would swear he just took his last breath.”