Shelf Awareness: Green Valley Library Book #4

by Romance, Smartypants

  “I love it. It’s the perfect summer dress.”

  “It was mine many years ago.”

  My brows rose in surprise. “Really?”

  “Why do you act so surprised?”

  As I twirled in front of the mirror, I could almost imagine her wearing it as she chased my mom and her siblings around the yard. At the same time, the plunging neckline was out of her usual modest comfort zone.

  “I’m just having a hard time imaging you parading around with this.” I motioned to the neckline.

  With an impish grin, GramBea replied, “I could be rather daring in my youth.”

  “You know it’s never too late to revive that rebellious spirit.”

  “Why I’d send Floyd right to the grave if I wore something like that now.”

  “At least he would die happy,” I replied with a grin.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Twenty-four hours after taking my first twirl in GramBea’s vintage dress, I once again slipped it on. After taking extra time with my hair and makeup, I was already overdue downstairs. People were starting to arrive, and the musicians were tuning up. Satisfied that I was putting more than my best foot forward for Zeke, I headed out of my room and bounded down the backstairs.

  When I reached for the doorknob, I pinched my eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. You can do this, Finley. It’s just a party. What happens between you and Zeke doesn’t hinge on tonight.

  With my pep talk completed, I opened the door and headed outside. Immediately, I was assaulted by both the heat and the growing crowd. GramBea waved me over so I could help her greet some of the guests. I plastered on my best smile as I shook hands or hugged the person. Of course, each and every time the back gate opened, I held my breath that it was Zeke. But as the minutes passed and he still hadn’t made an appearance, I was finding it harder and harder to keep the smile on my face.

  I’d just excused myself from GramBea and started back to the house to try and get a hold of myself when he appeared. At the mere sight of him, I inwardly became a middle school girl. While it might’ve been nice feeling young, it was completely absurd to have a man reduce me to such ridiculousness. For God’s sake, he was fifteen minutes late, and I was crumbling inside, not to mention now I was soaring again.

  “Well, hello Mr. Masters. We’re so glad you could make it,” GramBea said.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Adair.”

  “Oh please, call me Beatrice.”

  Smiling, Zeke nodded. “My apologies for being late. I got into some unexpected traffic coming back from Cherokee this afternoon.”

  “Don’t worry about that one bit. Just come on in and make yourself at home,” GramBea instructed.

  Glancing past GramBea, Zeke saw me. He shot me a beaming smile as he walked past her to join me. “Hey,” I so eloquently said.

  “Hey yourself. I’m sorry I’m late.”

  “Don’t apologize. How was Ama?”

  “Good. She had me helping with their upcoming festival.”

  “Sounds intriguing.”

  “Yes and no. It was completely out of my element.”

  I laughed. “I’m going to need more details.”

  “I’ll tell you all about it at dinner.” After taking in my appearance, Zeke said, “Damn, look at you, making divorce sexy as hell.”

  Both my inner-teenage girl and my adult self dissolved into pure mush at his words. “Thanks. GramBea found this dress for me in the back of her closet.” I winced at the implication of wearing one of my eighty-year-old grandmother’s dresses. “I mean, it was in this weird Narnia wardrobe in the attic.”

  For the love of all things holy, Finley, would you shut up? Nodding, Zeke replied, “I gotta say after your cosplay costume and now this, I’d totally like to get a peek at your attic.”

  Oh, I’ll show you the attic and then some, big boy. God, it was going to be a long night. “I’d be happy to give you a tour.”

  “Great.”

  “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Sure, I’ll take a beer.”

  Wrinkling my nose, I replied, “I’m sorry. I should have been clearer. Would you like a non-alcoholic beverage because my grandmother is a teetotaler?”

  Zeke laughed. “That’s fine.”

  I led him over to the food and drink tables. Eyeing the overflowing punch bowl, Zeke quirked his brows at me. “Punch?”

  “There’s water and sweet tea too. Oh, and one pitcher of unsweetened for our diabetic cousin,” I replied with a grin.

  “I suppose I should have realized this would be a non-alcoholic gathering.”

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  Estelle paused in stirring the punch before leaning over the bowl. “This has a little kick to it.”

  I tilted my head at her. “Kick as in spiked?”

  She grinned. “I threw in a little tequila when I was making the ring.”

  With a gasp, I stared down at the strawberries frozen into a decorative ring floating at the top of the punch. “GramBea will have your hide!”

  Estelle shrugged. “Let her. I figured you young people needed something.”

  Zeke chuckled. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness.” He handed her one of the fine crystal glasses to fill.

  After she filled it to the brim, Estelle handed it back to Zeke. “Enjoy.”

  When he took a sip, Zeke’s eyes bulged. “Now there’s some punch.”

  I didn’t wait for an invitation from Estelle. Instead, I thrust a glass at her. Unlike with Zeke, she didn’t fill mine to the brim. At what must’ve been my questioning look, she replied, “We both know you need to start slow and low.”

  Huffing indignantly, I took the glass from her. Out of spite, I downed the punch in one gulp. A shudder rippled through me. “Delicious,” I pronounced in a pained whisper.

  While Estelle shook her head at me, Zeke chuckled. “I can’t wait to see how this turns out.”

  Waving a hand dismissively, I replied, “One little cup of punch is hardly going to get me drunk.” Inwardly, the tequila was already making my head slightly lighter. Not only was the punch alcohol heavy, but I hadn’t eaten much today.

  Trying to change the subject from my potential inebriation, I nudged Zeke. “Look, there’s Thuy and Drill.”

  “Drill who used to be in the Wraiths,” Zeke remarked more for himself than for me.

  “Yep, that’s him,” I replied, as I waved to the two of them.

  “Now’s the chance I’ve been waiting for to talk to him to see if he might know Bart, huh?” Zeke asked warily.

  “It’s as good a time as any I would say. Do you have the picture on you?”

  Zeke nodded. “I always carry it with me.”

  “Good. Then head on over there.”

  Instead of responding, Zeke downed the remainder of his spiked punch. “Are you really that nervous?” I asked with a grin.

  “Hell yes, I’m nervous.”

  “I don’t know why. All the times I’ve talked with him, he seemed really nice.”

  Zeke rolled his eyes. “Of course, he’s nice to you. You’re not some out-of-towner poking his nose into biker business where it doesn’t belong.”

  “I doubt that.” As I took in Drill’s somewhat anxious expression, I said, “You know, he’s not really used to being in society outside of the MC world. I bet he’s really nervous right now and could use a friendly male to talk to.”

  Following my gaze, Zeke eyed Drill. “Sorry, but I find it hard to believe that guy has ever been nervous about anything.”

  “I think you would be surprised.”

  When Zeke remained still as a statue, I placed my hands on his back and gave him a push. “There is nothing to be afraid of.”

  “Easy for you to say,” he muttered.

  “Oh come on, this isn’t a dark alley—it’s GramBea’s backyard. I’m pretty sure among all these people, you’ll be safe.”

  Gulping, Zeke replied, “I hope so.”

  I waved him on with
my hand. “Go on.”

  He took two steps forward and then stopped. With his shoulders drooped in defeat, he turned around to give me a sheepish look. “Would you please come with me and make the introductions?”

  “Why would you need me to make introductions when Thuy is your”—I paused to make air quotes with my fingers—“volunteer boss?”

  “Because I’m a pussy who needs a woman with him to act as a buffer in case things get dicey.”

  Snorting at his summation, I replied, “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

  He bowed. “I owe you a great debt.”

  “Yes, and I fully plan on taking advantage of that too.”

  As we strolled up to Thuy and Drill, I gave a wave of hello along with a smile. “Hi guys, I’m so glad you could make it.”

  “We’re are too,” Thuy replied to which Drill nodded.

  Clearing his throat, Zeke said, “So, I understand you used to be in an MC club.”

  While Drill tensed and Thuy paled slightly, I felt the urge to smack my palm to my forehead. Or maybe I should have smacked Zeke. With a roll of my eyes, I motioned to Zeke. “You’ll have to excuse his nervousness that is masked by uncouthness.”

  “You’re nervous because I was a biker?” Drill questioned with a slight edge.

  With a sheepish look, Zeke replied, “No, I’m nervous because I’m an idiot.”

  Thuy and Drill exchanged looks. Since I knew there was no way Zeke was going to pull this off on his own, I said, “Thuy, as you might know, Zeke is here on sabbatical in Green Valley to find his birth parents. He’s found his mother, but he still needs help finding his father. He believes he might’ve been a member of the Wraiths.”

  Drill’s brows shot up. “Is that so?”

  Zeke appeared to have found his voice because he began to fumble for his wallet. “While it was obviously before your time, do you think you could find out anything about this guy?”

  He thrust the picture at Drill. After taking the photo, Drill examined it. “Yeah, I think I remember him from one of the club pictures. Let me do some digging around.”

  Zeke’s eyes bulged. “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.”

  “Thanks, man. That would really mean a lot. My mom didn’t know a lot about him.”

  “I don’t know how much I can find, considering a lot of rogue bikers don’t want to be found.”

  Holding up his hands, Zeke replied, “It’s okay. I’ll take anything or nothing. I just appreciate your help.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  GramBea announced dinner then, so we excused ourselves to line up at the buffet. Like many Southern soirées, GramBea had catered in the main event aka the BBQ. Of course, she had only subcontracted out the pork and chicken. As for the sauce, it was an Adair secret recipe. A heavily guarded one at that. She and the girls also had prepared all the sides like the potato salad, baked beans, collard greens, and macaroni and cheese.

  I ate and ate until the fitted waistband of my dress threatened to give way. I couldn’t help noting how freely I stuffed my face in front of Zeke. It certainly wasn’t something I usually did in front of a man. Even when Grant and I were living together, I did a lot of my eating in secret. Once again, it didn’t take a trip to my therapist to see how screwed up that was. What kind of a relationship do you have with someone when you aren’t even comfortable enough to eat in front of them?

  Before I could spiral down the rabbit hole of wasted emotion on Grant, I turned my attention back to the conversation at the table. Everyone else seemed to be following my lead and eating heartily. Turning to Zeke, I asked, “How is your dinner?”

  “Fucking amazing,” he replied, which made one of the church ladies across from us gasp. While I hid my laughter behind my napkin, Zeke flushed. “My apologies, ma’am.”

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

  “You know, I think your grandmother has a future in event planning.”

  With a groan, I tossed my napkin into my lap. “Please don’t tell her that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because she will take it and run with it.”

  “Wouldn’t it be good for her to have a hobby?”

  “Trust me. She doesn’t need another one. She already has more of a social life than I do.”

  Zeke nodded at GramBea who was listening earnestly to what Floyd was talking about. “Looks like she has a new man in her life.”

  “He’s an old flame.” Tilting my head at him, I asked, “How did you know he is more than a friend?”

  “From the way they are looking at each other.”

  He was right. The attraction between the two was undeniable. “I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself for making a deal with her so she would invite him.”

  “Oh, you’re the one who played cupid?”

  “In a way. I’ve never met the man, but I know how GramBea felt about him five years ago. I guess I should say how she still feels about him.”

  “It’s inspiring to see that you can experience love and romance at any age, isn’t it?”

  I stared into his eyes. “Yes, it is.”

  A few moments passed with us staring at each other until Zeke asked, “What was the deal you made with her so she would invite him?”

  Oh shit. How was I possibly going to answer his question when he was a bargaining chip? “I . . . uh, I . . .” Think, Finley! “I agreed to have this party,” I finally replied.

  Zeke eyed me curiously. “Why was it hard for you to tell me that?”

  “Um, well, because you keep talking about me getting out and having a social life. I thought it might look bad if I didn’t really want to have this party.”

  “I think it’s totally understandable you wouldn’t want to make a big show out of your divorce being final.”

  “You do?”

  “Sure. Besides, you totally have a social life. Remember last weekend?”

  I grinned. “That was only because you invited me. Otherwise, I would have been here, ordering in food and watching Netflix.”

  “And why is that exactly?”

  “Do you mean why am I a hermit?” With a shrug, I replied, “It’s just part of my charm.”

  “But you don’t have to be one.” He jerked his chin toward the tables in front of us. “Look around. There’s plenty of people here who would be willing to have dinner with you or watch a movie.”

  He did have a point. At any moment, I could ask any of the girls at the library to go out for a drink. But there was a pesky problem holding me back. They were in committed relationships and I was single, aka a third wheel.

  Eyeing me curiously, Zeke suddenly proclaimed, “You’re not fully committed to your life here.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”

  “You’re not getting involved with people because you’re not sure if you’re going to stay.”

  “Trust me, there’s no way in hell I would ever go back to Atlanta, so I’m here to stay.”

  “If that’s the case, start putting more roots down.”

  “Ah, and how do you suggest I do that, Mr. Rootless at the Moment?”

  Zeke chuckled. “My roots are firmly in Seattle. I’m merely branching out at the moment.”

  At his mention of Seattle, the bite of BBQ chicken I’d taken dried up in my mouth. It took a swig of Dot’s sugary sweet tea to wash it down. It also made the third wheel sentiment even harder.

  “It won’t be a new life until you start living it.”

  My fork clattered onto my plate. In a low voice, I questioned, “Don’t you notice something about everyone gathered around here?” I didn’t wait for Zeke to respond. “They’re all couples. Did it escape your knowledge that all the girls at the library are in relationships? For us to do anything, they have to give up time with their significant other, so it’s a lot to ask.”

  “Yeah, I’m well-aware Green Valley isn’t a town for single people. I kinda learned that the hard way when I was pounced on like a piece of
meat.” Turning in his chair, Zeke faced me head-on. “In your case, I think it’s once again the self-awareness that you are worthy of their time. You didn’t want to have this party, did you?”

  I shook my head. “I thought it was a pretentious waste of time.”

  “But people showed up for it, and more importantly, they showed up for you.”

  “They showed up because we don’t have much entertainment here in the backwoods.”

  “People could’ve said no. They chose to come celebrate you.”

  “Okay, fine. Let’s take a step back a minute. How is me having a burger with a friend somehow about my self-worth?”

  “Because it is. It’s as simple as realizing that just because your husband didn’t want to be with you, others don’t feel the same way.”

  “Is that how you felt about being adopted?”

  Zeke appeared momentarily taken aback. “Yeah, actually I did. It wasn’t something I dealt with until I was ready to find my birth parents. Somehow subconsciously over the years, a feeling of unworthiness had started to build. I had no clue what it was until I went to a wellness retreat during a toxic relationship.”

  God help me. He had just teased me with another nod to his Ex Files. “You were in a toxic relationship?” I tried to make it sound as nonchalant as I could.

  “Hasn’t everyone been in one or a couple?”

  “Yes, but at the moment, we’re focusing on yours.”

  Zeke wadded his napkin up and tossed it onto his plate. “The abridged version of what happened would go something like I stayed and took the crap I did because I thought it was what I deserved.”

  I winced. “That’s terrible.”

  “It is—it was.” He shook his head. “I was still in the thick of it when I went to the retreat. It’s probably clichéd, but I realized I was never going to be the person I needed to be for others until I found out who I really was. That’s when I started looking for my birth parents. The more I came into a new self-awareness, the more I realized how wrong the relationship was.”

  “It’s really brave of you to get in touch with your feelings like that. Most men are too afraid of how they’ll be perceived.”