The Witch Doctor

by Christopher Stasheff

  Till the sun returns to smile!"

  That bought us some time, at least. Angelique's pieces began to pull together remarkably quickly; she was almost an integrated whole again. Frisson really didn't know his own strength. She became so whole that I could see she had wakened from whatever long-distance trance the enemy sorcerer had put her in; she was staring about her in horror.

  I preferred something without a time limit.

  "Oh, mistress mine,

  Where are you roaming?

  Oh, stay and hear—

  Your true love's coming,

  That can sing both high and low,

  That can sing both high and low."

  I was stretching the truth a bit, but I was sure her true love was coming sometime—I just hoped she'd recognize him when he showed up. But it had worked; her shape was almost complete again, as Frisson found another scrap of parchment and held it out. I caught it up, gave it a glance and frowned, but read it anyway:

  "Oh, lady fair, never be so wroth

  As to part the strong friendships thou hast wrought,

  When the spoiler pulls, as now she doth,

  Bear in mind the loyalties thou wast taught,

  And stay to bind thyself fast to us!"

  The verse worked with overdrive; Angelique's form pulled together so fast I could have sworn I'd heard it click.

  And was just as quickly shredded again. The enemy sorcerer must have been putting every ounce of his—or her—energy into that spell. I was amazed. I actually began to feel tension in the air around me, growing stronger and stronger, like strands of unseen force, pulling tighter and tighter, and I was the fly caught in the web. The fleeting thought went through my mind, that this must have been what an electromagnet felt like as you boosted the voltage—and I began to feel an intangible pushing, too, as if another field of force was fighting at my own. Was this how an electron felt, inside a transistor?

  The webs of magical force intensified around me; I felt the unbearable tension of another magic field repelling my own, trying to pull Angelique apart. My mind reeled; I felt as if it were being stretched thin between two enormous engines, each pulling away from the other with enough force to bend an I-beam—and, in panic, I felt that Angelique's ghost would be annihilated even if its semblance stayed with Gilbert and Frisson, destroyed by the sheer stress of being stretched between two such huge forces.

  In desperation, I bellowed the first verse that came into my mind:

  "What can a tired heart say,

  Which the wise of the world have made dumb?

  Save to the lonely dreams of a child,

  'Return again, come!' "

  Angelique's tatters began to pull together one more time, becoming more and more integral. Before I could even think about the implications, Frisson thrust another scrap of verse into my hand, and I called it out without even stopping to think:

  "Begone, dull tearing of the fair!

  Away, false render of the pure!

  Abductor vile,

  By thine own bile,

  Be stunned, and fade,

  And loose the maid!"

  Something snapped all about us, something we couldn't hear, something that slammed us all to the ground with its recoil. Dazed, I scrambled to my feet, but the tension was gone, the two vast magical fields dispelled, and Angelique was whipping up, arrowing straight toward me to bury her face in my shirt—and into my chest—arms winding about me in a desperate effort to cling, sobbing in terror and fear.

  Automatically, I folded my arms about her, trying to hold them just outside her form while I murmured soothing sounds, but I was really too shaken to appreciate the contact; I felt some interesting prickling, but thrust it out of my mind. I looked up over her translucent head at Frisson and gasped, "Thanks."

  Frisson only nodded, though with shining eyes. The look on his face gave me a chill, but Angelique was beginning to gasp out syllables. I turned my attention back to her. "You're safe now," I assured her with more confidence than I felt. "It's gone."

  "Aye," she gasped, "yet it was so evil! I feel soiled by its touch, whate'er it was—it was so vile!"

  "It was," I muttered. "The magic in this land is of the most depraved sort, all right." Over Angelique's head, I saw Gilbert standing in front of Gruesome, looking at me with outrage—because he hadn't been able to get in on the fighting, no doubt. I asked, "What sorcerer was that we fought?"

  "It could have been none other than Queen Suettay herself," Frisson assured me. "Without doubt, she was humiliated by the lady's escape, and again by your countering of her spells."

  "Yes." I nodded. "Since she planned on adding Angelique to her routine of ectoplasmic slaves—it does reflect on her, having Angelique saved at the last stab."

  "And to lose all the rest of them to Heaven, too," Gilbert assured me. "It lowers the esteem in which her barons hold her—lowers it drastically; and several may dare to take arms against her, attempting to seize the throne for themselves. We weaken her by protecting the maiden, Wizard Saul."

  "And thereby make it vital for Suettay to recover her," I inferred. "She has to save face, or risk a rebellion."

  "A nice little uprising would rather help us," Frisson noted.

  "So the queen must slay you, to prevent that revolt," Gilbert summarized.

  Angelique looked up, horrified, then stepped away from me, hands warding me off. "Nay, I must leave you, then! For by protecting me, you have made yourself a marked man!"

  I felt my stomach sink, but managed to answer gamely, "Don't let it worry you—I've been a marked man for a while now." To keep myself from wondering how much I'd meant by that, I turned back to Frisson and said, "I really appreciate your help."

  "I did aid, then?" Frisson asked, eyes glowing. "I truly did aid?"

  "Oh, yes," I assured him. "You aided fantastically." But I said it with a feeling of awe verging on fear, and couldn't help wondering if Frisson should be classified as a secret weapon.

  Apparently so, from the look on his face. His eyes were lit with joy, and his whole emaciated countenance was suffused with the look of a man yanked back from the grave. "I think," Frisson said, "that I have found my métier."

  I knew we weren't going to get off that lightly—Suettay may have lost the skirmish, but she was bound to come back for the rest of the battle. After all, we hadn't eradicated her, just sent her away from us, presumably back to her castle, and once on her own territory, she'd be able to start plotting again. She didn't strike me as the kind of person who would give up. Considering that she had sold her soul and promised her boss a sacrifice, she couldn't give up, or she'd end up in Hellfire, permanently. Extremely permanently.

  It made me uneasy, wondering what deviltry she was going to hit me with next. After all, she knew my weak point—I glanced over at my weak point, but she was only a heat shimmer in the sunlight. That wouldn't keep Suettay from being able to find her, though. I resolved to keep an eye on Angelique, even if I couldn't see her.

  About midafternoon, we came to a village that definitely looked as if it had seen better days. The thatches on the cottages were ragged and moldering; patches of daub were missing on the walls, letting the wattle show through. There was garbage in the streets, as if the people were too tired to take it as far as the garden patches to dig under for compost. The people themselves were ragged and gaunt, walking with a shuffling gait, hunched over, as if the weight of the world were on their shoulders. They darted us quick, suspicious looks out of narrowed eyes, and as quickly looked away, speeding up to get away from us. Within five minutes, we were walking down a street that showed not a single sign of life; there wasn't even a dog or a pig to go snuffling among the garbage.

  Too bad; I would have bought it for roasting. The pig, that is, not the dog. I was that hungry, and I shuddered to think how Gruesome must have been feeling. But I noticed a larger-than-average hut with a pole sticking out above the door, and from the pole hung a bunch of broom corn—dry enough to use for sweep
ing, but still a "bush," which meant the place was a tavern.

  "Let's see if they have anything to eat." I angled toward the house.

  "If they do, I am not sure I would care to dine upon it." Frisson gave the dried broom a jaundiced eye.

  But Gruesome perked up and rumbled, "Food!" so Frisson decided it would be a good idea after all. At least, they followed me in, and so did Gilbert. Angelique's form brightened as she came into the gloom of the hut, but she disappeared instantly, leaving behind only a murmured, "I must not afright the landlord."

  We sat down at a table. It was quiet as a tomb. I waited restlessly, watching Gilbert fidget and Gruesome drool, until my impatience got the best of me. Finally, I cried out, "Ho! Landlord!"

  A formerly portly individual—at least I assumed he must have been fat once, because his apron was wrapped completely around him, and the strings were cinched three times—came out, frowning. "What the devil do ye..." Then he saw Gruesome, and blanched.

  The troll rumbled, "Foooood!"

  "But—but there is no food!" the tavernkeeper stammered. "At the least, there is little enough so that only my wife and bairns may dine, and that poorly. All else has been taken by the queen's bailiff!"

  I sat rigid for a moment, then forced myself to relax and said, "That sounds like pretty high taxes."

  "Tax? There is no question of tax—'tis a question of what the queen will let us keep! 'Tis simply that the crown takes all but the smallest quantity that will keep us alive to raise another crop! Every year they have taken more, and it has been two years since I had hops enough to brew my ale! We live by a small patch of garden, my wife and I, and poorly at that, for three-fifths of it goes to the queen, and on two-fifths must we dine!"

  I felt instantly sorry for the guy, but Gruesome had started growling, and Gilbert was standing up, loosening his sword in his scabbard and saying, "If that be so, 'tis my duty as a squire to—"

  Just then, the door crashed down.

  Yes, down, not open. Half a dozen men in steel caps and leather jerkins burst in, waving halberds and shouting, "Out! Out, one and all! Into the square with you all!"

  "What!" one shouted, seeing Gilbert's hand on his sword. "Would you strike 'gainst the men of the queen's bailiff? Nay, Beiner, slay him!"

  Gruesome bellowed, surging to his feet.

  The soldiers stared for about one second. Then they slammed back against one another, scrambling for the door.

  "They are strangers! They burst in without asking leave!" The innkeeper ran over to the soldiers' side fast. "I told them I have no food to sell, and they—"

  His fawning restored some measure of poise to the lead bully. He grabbed the man and threw him back to his mates, snarling, "Aye, like enough! We have naught to do with travelers—we have been bidden only to bring the townsfolk! Out with you, now!" And he made a hurried exit, leading his men out with the tavernkeeper in their midst, and Frisson and me right behind him.

  In the middle of the press of bodies, Frisson hissed, "Master Saul, why have we come with the soldiers?"

  "Because I'm curious," I hissed back. "But they might spot me for a ringer, because of my clothes. If they chase me out, you stick with it and come back and tell me what's going on."

  "If I can," Frisson muttered, glancing about him fearfully.

  That struck me as amusing. Frisson was probably the most dangerous man there, but he was scared! Somehow, though, I managed to restrain my boundless mirth.

  The soldiers herded us out into the village square, along with a hundred other souls of both sexes and all ages. Another dozen soldiers were drawn up there around a roaring fire, and in front of them strutted a little, stocky man in a long black robe embroidered with astrological symbols. He grinned as the villagers were herded up, as if savoring the sight. When they were all there, he snapped, "You have not paid your taxes!"

  A moan of dread swept through the crowd—but the tavernkeeper stepped forward. "Nay, Bailiff Klout! We have paid, we have all paid!"

  "You know that we have!" an old woman wailed. "Why, you were young among us, yourself—"

  "Aye, and the most despised and shamed of any!" Klout snapped back, eyes glittering. "Fools! You could not see my inner greatness! But the shire reeve did, and has given you all into my power!"

  "And every year you have made our taxes higher!" a woman groaned.

  "The queen is never satisfied," Klout retorted. "Yes, you have paid your taxes for each person, each household—but you have not paid the tax for your village!"

  "A tax for the village!" A man with a long white beard stepped forward. "Never have I heard of such a thing!"

  "You hear of it now! The shire reeve has given me leave to take as much from you as I will, the better to serve the queen..."

  "He keeps a share for himself, right?" I hissed to Frisson.

  "It is the custom," Frisson acknowledged.

  "...and I have deemed it fit to levy a tax for the village as a whole, due to the shire reeve and the queen! Ten pieces of gold! Pay! Pay now what you owe!"

  "But we have no more money!" a woman wailed. "All our coins you took long ago!"

  "Then I will take cattle or pigs, grain or fruit! But you will pay, and pay now, or I will burn this village down!"

  The people gasped with horror.

  Klout surveyed them, gloating. "You laughed at me when I was a small, clumsy runt of a child! There is not a woman of my own age who did not mock me for an ugly gnome when I was a youth! Well, mock now! Laugh now! For by the queen, I surely shall!"

  A low moan rose and swelled among the villagers.

  I could sympathize with Klout, but only just so far. Revenge I could understand, but this was way too much.

  "No coin?" Klout cried. "Why, then, burn!" And he gestured to his men, who yanked torches from the bonfire and whirled them around their heads, setting the flames to roaring.

  But another roar answered them—Gruesome, waddling out of the tavern, and beside him strode Gilbert, bright sword drawn.

  Klout recoiled. "What monster is that!"

  "Just a friend of mine." I stepped forward. "We're all from out of town, you see."

  Klout swung around, staring at me wildly. "You! Who are you?"

  "Just travelers." I worked at being way too casual about it. "Stopped at the tavern for lunch, but it seems they've gone out of business—no food to sell. So I got interested in the situation. Think I'd like to check on the details."

  "The queen has sent you!" Klout cried.

  "I never said any such thing!" But I wasn't about to stop him if he wanted to believe it. "I would like to see your books."

  "Books?" Klout turned ashen, and a murmur of gratification went through the crowd.

  "Your ledgers, your accounts! So we can all see whether or not the village has paid the tax due! Come on, trot them out!"

  "You have no authority to demand this!" Klout said.

  Gruesome stepped up beside me, grumbling with his mouth and rumbling in his stomach.

  "Just an interested bystander," I agreed. "Call me a visiting magician, asking for a professional courtesy."

  Klout took another glance at Gruesome and didn't seem disposed to dispute my claim. He only turned a lighter shade of ashen and snapped to one of the soldiers, "The ledger!"

  "Cook the books!" I whispered at Frisson.

  He stared at me as if I'd gone crazy. "What, Master Saul?"

  "Give me a verse to make his accounts show he's lying! Quick!"

  Frisson formed an O with his lips and turned away, pulling out his charcoal pencil and a scrap of parchment.

  The soldiers were collecting their nerves and themselves, pulling together into a knot in front of Gruesome, who grinned and licked his chops. The soldiers faltered, and the ones standing guard at the back and sides of the crowd began to pull together into clumps. That left some unguarded peasants, who began to sneak away between the huts.

  The soldier brought the book from a saddlebag and set it in Klout's hands. He
opened it and held it out before me. "There! You shall see every penny that each of these villagers has paid, and shall see that each has rendered no more than the levy set for him!"

  Beside me, Frisson was muttering.

  I paged backward, frowning. "Where does your tenure in this office begin?"

  "On page thirty-one," he said.

  I found it, and saw the change of handwriting—but I also saw the handwriting change. Nothing obvious, just a few Roman numerals transforming, two Is close together turning into Vs, two Vs merging into an X, and so on.

  Now, I'm not exactly skilled at Roman numerals, so it took me a while to puzzle it out. It certainly turned out to be cumbersome—I had never realized what a blessing the Arabs had given us when they invented the zero, and the decimal system that went with it. Double-entry bookkeeping would have helped, too; this was just a list of figures, and I began to appreciate the layout of the checkbook I never kept up.

  I took my time turning the pages, checking out all three of the years Klout had been in office, and he began to get nervous; I could tell by his fidgeting, while the crowd eroded at the edges. Finally, he snapped, "Will you study it all day?"

  "No," I said. "I'm up to date. Each person in the village has paid more than he owed, by anywhere from one penny to ten—and the extra more than covers the town tax."

  He stared, then whipped the book around and started doing his sums. His eyes grew wider and wider as he paged backward through the book, growing more and more frantic.

  "In fact," I said, "it looks as if you owe the village some money."

  "Witchcraft!" he bawled, and hurled the book away from him. "Liar and thief! I know what I wrote there!"

  I was sure he did—always less than the person had really paid. I looked up at Frisson. "You saw the figures?"

  "Well enough," Frisson agreed nervously.

  "Do those figures show anything more than any of the peasants really paid?"

  "Not a penny," he assured me, and he sounded much more certain about it.