Last Fall

by Alexis Anne

  “We’re not bossy,” Laura said with a point of her finger. “We just know what we want and aren’t afraid to demand it.”

  He held up his glass. “To badass women. May we know them, may we love them, may we never piss them off.”

  And because my friends are never subtle, they all stared at me with a grin as they raised their glasses and said, “Here, here!”

  While I did have a couple of celebratory drinks with my friends, I quit pretty early in the night. I noticed Erik did as well. I didn’t know his reasons but mine were clear. I wanted my head on straight for whatever happened next.

  Mary and Julia had already headed off to bed. Alexis was asleep on the couch, as usual. She refused to go to bed when she was tired because she didn’t want to miss anything. One time she fell asleep on the floor.

  “Should we wake her?” Lindsay asked.

  “No,” Alexandra said. “She looks comfortable. We’ll just throw a blanket over her.” Then she glanced at us. “You two look cozy. Maybe you should go to bed, too. Wink, wink.”

  She also actually winked.

  “You know you do one or the other, not both?”

  She shrugged. “I wanted to make sure you got the message.”

  “The astronauts on the space station got your message,” Laura laughed.

  Erik whispered, “You still sure you want me to stay?”

  After spending every night together for a week? Yeah, fat chance I was letting him out of here whether my friends liked it or not. “Of course.”

  He played with my hair while he studied my eyes. “I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”

  “Don’t worry,” Lindsay said loudly. “We bring our husbands sometimes. All we require in exchange is that they make breakfast. You do make breakfast, right?”

  We did not force them to make breakfast, although they all enjoyed cooking for us and we greatly appreciated their sacrifice.

  “Oh, I make breakfast. Prepare to be amazed,” Erik said.

  “I will be appropriately excited,” she said. “Now go to bed you two. You look exhausted.”

  Since I didn’t feel exhausted I took that as code for: Please go make our romance writing dreams come true and bang your boyfriend before you’re too tired to take advantage of him.

  And who was I to say no to that? “Well then we’re off.”

  But Erik patted my leg. “Hold up. I need to go grab my bag out of the truck. I’ll be right back.”

  Which left me alone with them.

  “You’re gonna, right? Right?” Laura asked with very bouncy eyebrows.

  “Maybe. I don’t have a crystal ball.”

  “But you’re not denying that it’s on the table,” Alexis mumbled, eyes still closed. “Which means you’re ready. Which means if Mr. Hero Material is up to the task then you are totally making sweet, sweet love tonight.”

  Was I that obvious? Did I care? “Mr. Hero Material, huh? Does that mean you think this works?” One evening wasn’t enough time to know for sure, but it was plenty to get a gut reaction.

  And I trusted these ladies guts when it came to love.

  I got three sets of thumbs-up.

  “Are we doing thumbs?” Alexis asked, eyes still closed.

  “Yes,” Alexandra replied, reaching over to hold Alexis’s arm up.

  Alexis popped up her thumb. “He’s awesome. He’s sweet. He is totally nuts about you. I say you do this. Him? Whatever.”

  “He’s coming back,” Lindsay hissed and everyone attempted to look normal.

  Which of course meant no one looked normal at all.

  “You ready, Darlin’?” Erik asked as he strolled into the room.

  “Good night everyone. Have sweet dreams,” I said with a wave goodnight.

  We picked this house because it had two master bedrooms on opposite sides of the house, plus four other bedrooms. We tried to rotate who was forced to share rooms and beds and I was eternally grateful that two months ago at our last retreat I’d bunked with Mary, which meant that this week I got one of the master suites.

  I led him to the back of the house and down a hallway. My room wasn’t huge but it had all the necessary pieces: a king-sized bed, a nice bathroom, and privacy.

  One week.

  Seven days ago I went to a hockey game and met Jack and Belle. We ate dinner and went dancing.

  One week ago I took him to my bed and here I was doing it again, only this time I wasn’t driven by frantic instinct. Tonight I knew exactly what I was doing. Two years of knowing each other had fueled seven intense days of intimacy of every kind except one.

  We shared meals and laughed together. I learned his body and he learned mine. Tonight I wanted more.

  “I like your friends,” he said, throwing the lock on the door.

  “They like you, too.”

  “So I passed?”

  “The test?”

  He nodded.

  “Yes. I received multiple thumbs-up, whispered approvals, and even one very dirty illustration.”

  His eyes lit up. “Can I see it?”

  “Maybe. I have a question first.”

  He swaggered across the room to where I stood by the bed. “What’s your question, Zoe?”

  I swallowed down the butterflies that took flight when he looked at me like that. “Do I pass your test?”

  His brow furrowed and then understanding dawned. His eyes took on that hungry look I loved. “Well there’s only one way to find out.”

  I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. It was strange how familiar it was to be close to him now. How natural it felt to melt against him and breathe in his musk.

  Except after his morning run. That musk was a little too much.

  “You definitely get an A in kissing,” he murmured against my lips.

  “No shadows?”

  “No,” he growled. “But I’ll take back your good grades if you mention it again.”

  Duly noted.

  He ran his nose along mine and I became keenly aware that the only sound was the heavy panting of our breath. I could feel him everywhere, even the places we weren’t touching. There was so much heat and electricity it filled the air and closed the gap between our bodies.

  His hands moved down my arms and up again, stopping at my collarbone. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” He pressed his forehead against mine, eyes screwed shut.

  I didn’t hesitate in my reply because there was no more thinking when it came to Erik. No shadow confusing me. “I’ve always wanted to know what happens next.”

  Instead of his hands moving down he cupped my face. “It’s going to be amazing.”

  “Yes.” I kissed him. “Keep going.”

  I was so comfortable with him now. It was nothing like last week. I knew now that there was no comparison. Erik was hands-down the best man I’d ever met in real life, or even my fictional one. Better if for no other reason than the fact that he was oh-so-real.

  His touch was simply the touch of a man wanting a woman. His kiss was—well let’s be real. His kisses were the very definition of mind-altering.

  This was me enjoying the life I’d always wanted with a man who was just as happy to be living it.

  Period.

  End. Of. Story.

  So when he pulled me closer, I craved more and asked for it. He tested me by touching and massaging as he searched my body, looking for what I wanted.

  I was pretty sure I passed because he smiled. “How does this feel?”

  I ground against him. “Like I want to feel your mouth on me.” Did I just say that? Oh yes I did.

  His eyes widened. “Is that so?”

  I nodded, trying really, really hard to not blush.

  “Right now?”

  I nodded again.

  He dropped to his knees, peeling my uniform yoga pants and underwear down my legs.

  All I felt when he kissed my clit was pleasure.

  Well, pleasure and excitement. His mouth was oh, so warm and soft. Nice a
nd, oh . . . oh my. Yes.

  He spread me, searching deeper, groaning in pleasure the way I always hoped a man would when he kissed me there. My hips began to move and Erik hooked my leg over his shoulder, hands on my hips to hold me steady as he tasted, licked, and sucked, learning me and arousing me rather quickly.

  And then he took things up a notch, sliding a finger into the mix. I gasped at the very pleasant, very new sensation.

  “That’s enough. On the bed,” he growled.

  When I didn’t move fast enough he picked me up, depositing me exactly where he wanted me, with his mouth back where it was before I had a chance to say anything. So instead I gripped the edge of the mattress and bowed up, gasping. He alternated fingers and tongue, taking his time and seeming to enjoy himself if the sounds he was making were any indication.

  “Erik,” I gasped. “Can you slow down? I’m . . . ” Half mad? Wild? “I want to touch you, too.”

  He kissed the inside of my thigh, glancing up. “Sorry. Was I stealing all the fun?”

  “A little.” I shrugged “Not that I minded.” As he rocked back on his heels I bit my lip. “I’ve just waited a long time and I didn’t want to miss anything.”

  He stood. “Well then by all means. Have fun.”

  So I did. I took my time undressing him, stripped him naked just like my sexy, strong heroines did in my books. Turns out, it’s just as fun in real life. Then I sat on the edge of the bed. Instead of holding and stroking him like I had a week ago, I licked.

  He gasped in surprise. “Zoe . . . ”

  “Does that feel good?”

  “God, yes. Amazing.”

  So I did it again, this time gripping him at his base so I could lick around the crown of his head. “Still good?”

  His hips thrust forward. “Very unexpected. Very, very, very good.”

  I sucked, taking him into my mouth, testing and learning, then took him deep. He tasted salty and new. I really liked the way his breath kept coming faster, the way his fingers stroked my hair. None of this felt wrong or like some sort of obligation. It was intimate and it was a gift I was happy to give.

  “Zoe.” He placed a hand on my shoulder.

  I pulled out to the tip and with one last swirl, looked up.

  And up and up, because now I was on my back again, this time in the middle of the mattress. “Just you and me?” he asked, frantically reaching for his bag.

  “Just you and me.”

  He whipped out a condom. “We’ll go slow.”

  “I think that’s wise.” Three years was a long time. A really long time.

  He crawled across the mattress but didn’t lower himself down onto me. “Talk to me, okay? You tell me if it hurts, if you want to stop, everything, anything. I want to hear it.”

  One thing I learned writing romance was that words were hot. “I like hearing it too.”

  He lowered down slowly, the weight of his body crushing mine into the mattress, his hard cock throbbing between us. “Really?”

  “Turns out this romance writer gets turned on by hearing words, too.”

  He nuzzled behind my ear. I pulled my knees up to make room for him. “Then you should know,” he whispered against the shell of my ear, “that I cannot wait to be buried deep inside you.”

  I shivered. “Yes.”

  He kissed my neck, my shoulder, down between my breasts. “This is what I’ve been sleeping next to all week? All of this?” He nuzzled my nipple and sucked lightly.

  I ground against him. “Oh, yes.”

  “I like it when you say that.” He moved back up and kissed me, his hips angling toward mine.

  “I have a feeling I’ll be saying it a lot tonight.”

  He pressed against me, the pressure sending a shockwave through me that pulsed back against his impending invasion. I gasped.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes.” I clutched his shoulders, arched to meet him, desperate to be together.

  He pushed inside, stretching me. I dug my fingers into his muscles as I cried out. He pulled back slowly and thrust a little deeper, widening his way in.

  From touching him last week I guessed his size would be just right for me, more than I was used to, but not significantly. So I was surprised by how sharp his thrusts felt, how foreign the sensation of being stretched seemed. I hadn’t expected the difference to feel so extreme.

  It was wonderful but also shocking.

  “You still with me, Zo?”

  I couldn’t quite catch my breath. “Maybe . . . maybe just give me a second?”

  “Of course.”

  With one nuzzle of his nose against my cheek I relaxed. “You’re just . . . a lot.”

  “Not gonna lie, that sounds pretty fucking awesome coming out of your mouth.” He kissed me, cocking his head to the side to sweep his tongue inside. My body pulsed from head to toe. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  I realized I was trembling again. My ears buzzed and the top of my head felt hot. “You’re . . . inside me and it’s so much. It’s like I can’t catch up.”

  “Okay. First, breathe.” Then he leaned up on his elbows and palmed my breast. “Does it help when I do this?”

  He touched my nipple with his thumb, sending a jolt to my core. It eased a little of the sensation. “Yes, actually.”

  “What about when I do this?” He rolled my nipple between his finger and thumb, sending a shockwave to the same spot. My entire core pulsed and this time I felt needy so I rocked my hips.

  He slid deeper.

  His eyes grew dark and his jaw thrust forward. “I take it you liked that?” He rolled it again, sending another jolt that I couldn’t resist. I rocked my hips and he slid even deeper. “I’m the one who’s going to need a minute next,” he groaned, sliding out to his tip and easing back in. He did this several times until we were both panting. He pushed deeper, stretching me even wider, and this time I felt relief.

  I rocked against him, looking for that delicious friction that only came from one hot body working against another. Erik took my cue and began thrusting more, reaching deeper. His cock stretching me and disappearing, filling me and leaving me over and over felt so damn good. I arched up to meet him. “Harder.” I needed more to get there. More impact, more friction, more something.

  “You, on top.” He grunted, rolling to the side.

  Suddenly I was above him, straddling his hips with his cock still inside me. “You’re like a magician.”

  “Naw, just someone who works out for a living.” He pressed a thumb against my clit and palmed my breast. “You move in whatever way feels good, okay, Zo? I want to watch you come.”

  “What about you?” I could have kicked myself for the kneejerk reaction. Maybe it was inevitable that I’d still have some old, bad habits peek through at the wrong times.

  But Erik didn’t let it faze him. “Darlin’ I’m trying my level best to keep it together long enough to make sure you get there first but it’s taking everything I got. Trust me, when you go, this time anyway, I’m going right over the edge with you.”

  He thrust up at the same time he rolled my nipple and circled my clit. “Right now I want you to take what you want from me. Show me what you like. Have a good time.”

  I didn’t know what I needed but I was excited to find out. I had an Erik play toy and a free pass to enjoy it for as long as I wanted. I rode him slowly, learning how deep I could take him from this angle, then that. I liked leaning back, placing my hands on his thighs. It made his cock press hard against me from the inside as I rode him.

  He ran his hands everywhere, lighting me up as he explored. I really liked it when he gripped my hair, but from this position I was too far away, so I noted it for another day to explore.

  Instead I relished the electricity that zapped from my nipples to my core as he clamped them between his fingers. Each time I rose up the tug sent another pleasurable wave. Each time I slammed down on him he rolled the tips in time with the way I ground my hips against him.


  Up and down. Spikes of electricity from his fingers to his cock.

  Over and over the tug exactly what I needed to drive me wild. The swirl another level of heaven.

  I rode him because I liked the way his cock filled me to almost too full.

  He grunted in pleasure. The way his shoulder muscles stretched taut as he played with me was just about the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in real life until I saw the way his jaw muscle flexed. The pleasure he restrained. The amount of desire he refused to unleash on me.

  So much potential all bottled up in a body contained.

  I could come any time, I knew that, but this wasn’t something I wanted to end. It crossed my mind for a split second to give in and let the man have his orgasm, but he told me to do what felt right.

  And riding him felt oh so right.

  Feeling this good was even better.

  I’d written so many scenarios at one point or another. I gave my fans what they wanted so that meant some couples were sweet, passionate love makers. Others were very kinky. They had threesomes and sex parties. While others had intimate, passionate, completely vanilla lives. Each couple was different and I had enjoyed exploring each one.

  It never occurred to me that I might be all of them in real life. I kept those fictional thoughts completely walled off from everything else. But not anymore. With Erik I had the freedom and safety to be whoever I wanted to be.

  And right now that meant letting go.

  I sat forward to kiss him. “I’m going to come around your gorgeous cock, now.”

  “Yes,” he hissed, one hand on my hip, the other in my hair.

  I took him deep. Every muscle in my body went rigid as I came. My nipples tingled as they dragged along his chest and my core pulsed along his length. I ground against him, riding the wave, crying out again and again as he joined me. He gripped my hips, pulling me down hard as he thrust up. His orgasm every bit as electric as my own.

  21

  ERIK

  The Uncomfortable Sensation of Jealousy

  Why yes, I did wake up early. And yes, I did hear birds and shit. No shame in that game. That’s what happens when your dreams come true. You can move mountains, run marathons, see with X-ray vision.