CHAPTER ELEVEN
LOWRI HAD JUST finished giving Megan her breakfast when she heard a car coming up the drive. She walked to the end of the terrace but she couldn’t see the vehicle from there. She went back to the table and wiped Megan’s mouth. It was probably a delivery van and Alfredo would deal with it.
‘Buon giorno. How are you this morning, tesoro?’
She jumped when Vincenzo appeared. She hadn’t expected him to drive all the way back to the villa so early and it was a shock to see him, not a particularly pleasant one either. She dredged up a smile, not wanting him to suspect that she had a problem about his being there. Maybe last night hadn’t meant as much to him as it had done to her, but she had to get over it if she wanted to help Megan.
‘I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,’ she said coolly, helping Megan down from her chair.
‘No?’ His dark brows rose mockingly. ‘I did say I would be back.’
Megan ran over to him, grabbing hold of his hand to lead him into the garden, so they didn’t get a chance to say anything else, not that Lowri was disappointed. Maybe she was mistaken but there’d been a definite hint of something...dangerous in his voice just now.
She shrugged off the thought, knowing how foolish it was. Loading the dishes onto a tray, she took them into the kitchen. Maria had arrived early and was busy making bread dough so she stacked them in the dishwasher, shaking her head when the housekeeper protested. While she appreciated everything that Maria did for them, she didn’t want to get too used to being looked after. Once she returned home, she would have to do everything herself, cook and clean as well as take care of Megan and the new baby. Assuming there was going to be a baby.
Panic overwhelmed her. If she didn’t have this child and something happened to Megan then she would never forgive herself. She had to go ahead, had to give Megan the chance of living a long and happy life. And if that meant sleeping with Vincenzo that’s what she would do, even if she knew that it meant nothing to him. She had to set aside her scruples for the sake of her daughter. Surely that was enough to keep her strong, enough to stop her wishing for more. Maybe Vincenzo didn’t love her, maybe he didn’t care very much either, but if he helped to save Megan then she would be eternally grateful to him.
* * *
Vincenzo spent the morning allowing himself to be led around. Megan showed him all her favourite places, insisting that he crawl under this bush or look under that rock in the hope that they would find some kind of small treasure. It was a whole new experience for him to be involved in her games and he discovered to his surprise how much he was enjoying himself. It made him see that he was very different from his own father.
It was a revelation to realise it. Vincenzo knew that he needed to think about it but it was hard to do that when Megan kept demanding he play with her. When Lowri announced that it was time for the child to take a nap, he went to his study and sat down at his desk so he could think it all through.
He had always believed that he was exactly like his father in many respects. Umberto Lombardi had been a cold and distant man who had cared little for others, even his own son. He had been more interested in making money so as soon as he could he had sent Vincenzo away to school. They’d had very little contact after that and although Vincenzo hadn’t missed him, his father’s indifference had had a huge influence on him.
He had grown up expecting very little from other people. Although he had a few friends, there was nobody close to him. He preferred it that way. He was self-contained, focused, single-minded when it came to his career. He had known what he’d wanted to achieve and had gone after it with ruthless determination. Up till now. Now everything had changed. He could no longer put his own interests first. Not now there was Megan to consider. And Lowri.
He got up from the desk and went to the window. Having Lowri reappear in his life had turned it upside down. Whereas before he had been content with the way he lived, he wasn’t content any longer. He wanted more than this sterile existence! He wanted to grab life by the throat and live it to the full. And if that meant falling in love, getting married, having a family, well, he wanted them too.
His head spun because the idea was so mind-blowing. He wanted to fall in love, wanted to be a husband and a father, but could he do it? Was he capable of being both or either of those things?
He wished he knew, wished there were guarantees, certainties, but there weren’t. All he knew was that if he didn’t take this chance, he might never get another one. He most certainly wouldn’t get the chance to spend his life with Lowri, that was sure. And that was what he wanted more than anything.
* * *
It was the strangest of days. On the surface it appeared as though everything was flowing smoothly but Lowri was too aware of the undercurrents to let that fool her. Vincenzo didn’t put a foot wrong all day. He played with Megan, showing endless patience as the little girl involved him in all her games. He was the epitome of the perfect host when they all had lunch together, too, asking questions about Lowri’s life and seemingly fascinated by her answers. When Megan had her nap, he suggested they should make use of the time to swim in the pool.
Although Lowri agreed, it was more for politeness’ sake than anything else. Quite frankly, she found it unnerving to be subjected to such a blatant charm offensive. What did he want? What was he planning? She wished she knew.
By the time evening fell her nerves were stretched to breaking point. Megan had worn herself out so once she had eaten her supper, Lowri put her to bed. She lingered upstairs as long as she could but in the end knew that she couldn’t put off the moment any longer. Maria was waiting to serve dinner before she left and it wasn’t fair to delay her.
Vincenzo was in the salone when she went downstairs. He looked round and smiled when she appeared but once again Lowri could feel the tension in the air and her heart gave a nervous little hiccup. He was up to something—she’d put good money on it too! But what exactly? That was the question.
‘I thought we’d have a drink in here before dinner. There’s a storm brewing so we won’t be able to eat outside tonight.’
‘Really?’ Lowri went to the window and stared out. She gave a little shrug. ‘It looks quite calm to me.’
‘You get to know the signs when you live here for any length of time,’ he said smoothly. He poured some wine into a crystal glass and brought it over to her. He handed her the glass then pointed to the mountains. ‘You can see the clouds gathering over there. It looks as though we’re in for some really rough weather.’
Lowri barely glanced at the lowering sky. She was far too conscious of his nearness to worry about climatic changes. She took a gulp of her wine and coughed when it shot down the wrong way.
‘Careful!’ Taking the glass off her, he patted her on the back but it didn’t help. If anything, it made it worse. Now she not only had to contend with the spasm in her throat but his touch as well.
She shook her head, gasping for air. ‘Don’t!’
‘Mi scusi.’ He stepped back, his face immediately closing up. By the time that she had finally managed to drag some air into her aching lungs, he had moved away and was pouring himself a glass of wine. She sighed, very aware that she had overreacted.
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ He gave a small shrug as he sat down. To all intents and purposes, it appeared that he was telling the truth and that it didn’t matter but she had seen the hurt in his eyes and felt guiltier than ever. There had been no need to react like that when he had been trying to help her.
‘No, but I’m still sorry.’ She bit her lip then rushed on, knowing that she had to say what was on her mind. ‘I may be wrong but has something happened, Vincenzo?’
‘I’m not sure I understand what you mean,’ he countered, swirling the wine around his glass.
‘It’s just that you seem...well, different. I’ve noticed a certain undercurrent today and I’m not sure what the reason is
for it. So has something happened?’
‘Not that I’m aware of,’ he began, but she held up her hand.
‘Please! I know something’s going on so there’s no point lying. It would be easier if you told me the truth.’
‘Perhaps. But I’m not sure if you really want to hear it.’ He put down his glass and looked at her. Lowri felt her heart surge into her throat when she saw how serious he looked.
‘Is...is it to do with Megan?’ she asked, her voice catching so that the words sounded thin and shaky when they emerged.
‘Sì. Megan. And you and this baby we may or may not have.’
‘Have you changed your mind about the baby? Last night you seemed so certain it was what you wanted...’ She tailed off, not wanting to think about what had so nearly happened the night before.
‘No. I haven’t changed my mind. But I have decided that I need to make some changes about what happens in the future,’ he said flatly.
‘What sort of changes?’ she whispered, her heart racing. If they hadn’t been interrupted by that phone call, they would have made love and the baby might even now be a reality.
‘I want to be involved in both Megan’s and the baby’s lives but I can’t do that unless you agree.’ He took a deep breath then looked at her. ‘Will you, Lowri? Will you let me be a proper father to our children?’
* * *
Vincenzo realised he was holding his breath but it was too hard to do anything as complicated as breathe. His lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen and still Lowri didn’t answer.
‘Why?’ Her voice was so low that he wasn’t sure if she had actually spoken or not. He answered anyway, wanting—needing—to make her understand how much it meant to him.
‘Because I don’t want to walk away. I want to be involved, want to watch them growing up, want to be there to help and to guide them.’
‘But you told me that you had never wanted a family.’
‘And it was true—I never did. But everything has changed—I’ve changed. I’ve realised that I can’t just disappear from their lives and leave you to bring them up on your own. I want to help. If you will let me.’
Vincenzo could feel the tension that had gripped him all day gathering momentum as he willed her to give him the answer he wanted so desperately. He wanted to be a real father to his children, wanted it so badly that he ached, but would she agree? After all, it would mean him being part of her life too and he wasn’t sure if that was what she wanted. Lowri might not want him, even though he wanted her. Desperately.
The thought stunned him. Oh, he had skirted around it for days, let it flit in and out of his mind like a butterfly, always hovering and never settling. Now he realised exactly what it meant and the truth was so shocking that he had trouble grasping it.
He was falling in love with her. He might even have started falling in love with her five years ago, only that idea was a step too far and he couldn’t deal with it. He wanted her in his life not only because she was the mother of his children but because he couldn’t imagine a future without her.
His head reeled yet, oddly, he didn’t feel afraid. Although he had spent his adult life avoiding emotional entanglements, he wasn’t going to shy away any more. He was capable of loving a woman if that woman was her.
He stood up, holding her gaze as he crossed the room. She was standing so still that she looked as though she had been frozen in place. It had been a shock for her too, he knew, but she would deal with it in her own way. She was brave and strong and he couldn’t think of anyone he admired more.
He took her hands and drew her to him, kissed her lightly on the lips and then stepped back. He might want to sweep her into his arms and carry her up to his bed, but he knew it would be wrong to rush her. She had to decide what she wanted. And he had to give her the time and the space to do it too.
‘I don’t expect an answer right away,’ he said softly. ‘You need to think about it and I understand that. But I mean what I say, Lowri. I want to be a proper father to Megan and this baby.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’ She looked at him and he could see the bewilderment in her eyes. ‘I never expected you would feel this way, Vincenzo.’
‘Neither did I.’ He kissed her again then glanced round when Maria appeared to tell them dinner was ready. They were eating in the dining room and he led the way, pulling out a chair for Lowri. There were candles on the table, their flickering light bouncing off the crystal and silverware, casting shadows over her face so that he couldn’t read her expression. He sighed regretfully as he took his seat because he needed all the help he could get. Would she agree or would she refuse? It was impossible to tell.
By the time the meal ended, Vincenzo felt as though he was teetering on the edge of an abyss. Lowri still hadn’t told him if she would agree to his request and the wait was becoming unbearable. It was one thing to decide to give her time and another thing entirely to have to live through it, he realised ruefully. When Maria came to see if she should serve coffee in the salone, he barely managed to curb his impatience.
‘Sì. Grazie, Maria.’ He stood up, tossing his linen napkin onto the table. Lowri stood up as well and he smiled at her, falling back on good manners to see him through this most stressful night in his entire life. ‘Coffee?’
‘No, thank you.’ She walked around the table, pausing when she drew level with him. Her eyes were very clear and his breath caught because there was no doubt about the message they were conveying. ‘I think I’ll go straight up to bed.’
She left the room, not waiting for him to say anything. There was no need. They both knew what was going to happen, that tonight they were going to make love. Was that her answer? he wondered as he went into the salone and poured himself a cup of coffee. Was she telling him that she agreed to him playing a part in their children’s lives? He hoped so, he really did, because if it were true it meant that he could be part of her life as well.
His hands shook as put the cup back on the tray. He didn’t want coffee. He wanted Lowri. Tonight and for evermore.
* * *
Lowri could feel her heart racing as she stepped out of her dress. She hung it up then took a nightdress out of the drawer. The cotton felt cool against her skin and she shivered. Was she doing the right thing? Should she agree to Vincenzo’s request when it would have major repercussions for her? After all, if he was to be a proper father to Megan and the baby, he would be a part of her life too.
The thought made her head swim and she went to the window, hoping the fresh air would help to alleviate her dizziness. The light had faded now and the sky was black with storm clouds. As she watched, lightning flashed across the sky, a brilliant bolt of light that momentarily dazzled her. She closed her eyes, seeing the imprint of it on her retinas, one bright clear flash in the midst of all the darkness, exactly like the thought that shot into her mind: she couldn’t imagine a future without Vincenzo.
The sound of the door opening made her glance round and she felt her heart fill with all sorts of emotions when she saw him come into the room. When she had decided to approach him and ask for his help, she hadn’t thought about the impact it would have on her. Oh, she had expected it to be...awkward. After all, he hadn’t replied to her letter, so she’d had no great hope that he would agree to her request but she had refused to let that deter her. She had been willing to do anything, suffer any embarrassment if it meant she could help Megan.
Now she could see how naïve she had been to imagine that she could conceive and carry a child and not feel anything for its father. It hadn’t happened with Megan. Even though she had tried to blot out all thoughts of Vincenzo when she had been pregnant, she hadn’t succeeded. She had thought about him all the time, remembered how good those weeks they’d had together had been. Why? Because it was what pregnant women did? Or because she had fallen in love with him?
She had always denied that possibility, to herself and to Cerys too, but she had been lying. She had fallen in love wi
th Vincenzo in Milan and that was why she had wanted to have his baby, why she had been so hurt when she’d thought he had ignored her; it was why she had been willing to have another child with him too.
Thoughts flashed through her mind, so bright and clear that she knew they were true. When Vincenzo came and took her in his arms, her heart ached. He might have asked to be part of their children’s lives but he hadn’t said anything about wanting to be part of her life and she must never forget that. Just because she loved him, it didn’t mean that he loved her too.
Tears stung her eyes as he bent and kissed her but she blinked them away, not wanting anything to spoil this moment. Maybe he didn’t love her and never would but he wanted her—that was obvious. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she drew him to her, her lips parting so he could deepen the kiss, and felt him shudder. And it was a small consolation to know that his need for her was so great. At least she had unlocked his emotions and that had to count for something.
Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to the bed and laid her down. He knelt beside her, taking hold of her hand so he could press his lips to her palm. Lowri shuddered, feeling her desire take flight. She wanted this so much and for so many reasons.
‘The answer is yes, Vincenzo,’ she said softly. ‘If you want to be a proper father to Megan and any other child we may have then I agree.’
‘Thank you, cara.’ Tears filmed his eyes and the sight of them moved her beyond bearing. Maybe he didn’t love her but he would love their children and that was enough.
When he stripped off her nightdress, she helped him, helped him strip off his own clothes too. Lightning flashed across the sky, lighting the room and turning their skin to burnished silver as they lay entwined in one another’s arms. Lowri closed her eyes when she felt his hands begin to explore her body. She wanted to savour every touch, each caress, store them all up so she could look back on this night. It might not happen again. Vincenzo might neither need nor want to make love to her again but she would have her memories and she would treasure them too. This was the night she had realised that she loved him and it was precious, special. A night she would never forget no matter what happened in the future. And if they conceived a child tonight, it would be even more perfect.
Saving His Little Miracle (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 12