by Elise Jae
It's floating at the back of my brain—the idea that maybe I could ask her to talk to Hannah. They’re friends, but…. “No. There’s nothing that can be done.”
“Hazard….”
“You’re not my mother Kimba.”
“No. I'm not. But I know that something’s wrong. And I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“We’ve all got our problems.”
She’s silent for a long moment, and even though I know I shouldn’t, I ask, “Have you spoken to Hannah?”
There’s a long pause and when I turn back, she’s looking at me like she’s just figured something out. “No.”
I nod and turn back. “Will you do me a favor? Just make sure she’s okay.”
Going back to the window, I sit. I don’t know when Kimba leaves, how long she lingered. But when the sun starts to fade in the sky, I know I have to be alone again. And that’s something I have to get used to.
It was never a problem before.
HANNAH
Everything about this cell makes me feel like I’ve been pulled out of the world. Out of the very plane of existence.
The door opens twice a day.
Two meals.
That’s it.
It’s the only reason I know I’ve been in here for a full week.
But the sun’s at the wrong angle through the narrow window that runs along the top of the wall across from the door. This intrusion isn’t dinner.
And when I roll my head to the side, it’s not the mean woman who brings me my food.
Kimba.
I’m on my feet so fast, it leaves me dizzy. But that doesn’t stop me from catching her in a hug. “Please tell me you’re here to take me away from this.”
She squeezes me tighter. “What is going on? Mary can’t tell me anything and we were starting to think something had happened.”
“Something did… sort of.” I sit down and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I broke some rules I didn’t know about and basically am incarcerated now.”
No one mentioned that I wasn’t allowed to spend time, unsupervised, in the presence of a sian man while unbonded.
I still don’t know how they knew about it…. Just that someone called in a “tip” and then that medical scan had given them all the evidence they needed to show the remnants of my time with hazard were still in my body.
“I know, Mary and Margot decided to get me involved. I had to call in some favors to even figure out where you were, let’s not talk about what I had to do to get in the door—or rather, who I had to make D intimidate.”
“Is Hazard okay?”
Her face blanks, and then her eyes narrow. “I don’t know.”
There’s something in the tightness of her jaw that makes me think she’s lying.
I hate the idea that he might think I’ve rejected him.
“Hannah.” Kimba says with her ‘in charge’ voice. “What is going on?”
I blow out a long breath, trying to decide what to tell her. But there’s no way I could make it make sense without telling all.
So I do.
“And when I came back… you would have thought I was a mass murderer who’d escaped. I parked my car and was pounced on.”
“And they locked you away then and there?”
“Yes. I’ve only seen Mary once. She couldn’t tell me anything. And then another woman who brings in my food, but she treats me like a criminal, so I don’t even know her name.”
“But you’ve accepted Hazard’s bonding request.” I don’t like the way she says it. I don’t like how slow the words come out. Like they don’t make sense with something she knows… something I don’t.
“Yes. Though I don’t know if Mary was able to process it with me in here.”
“Huh.” She screws her mouth up, and then stands, cradling her post baby belly. “That’s actually perfect news.”
“Why?”
“Because, that means you belong to me now. And I can get you out of here.”
She doesn’t say anything else, she just goes to the door and walks out. As if it was never locked in the first place. But I hear the bolts fall home as soon as it shuts behind her.
She’s free to go.
I might be stuck here forever.
Except, Kimba comes right back.
I glance at the line of light on the wall. She was gone less than ten minutes. And when she returns, she pushes the door wide.
“Congratulations. You’re a free woman…. Sort of.”
I don’t want to get too excited. “Sort of?”
“You’ve been remanded to my custody, with the understanding that I will deliver you to your bondmate.”
“How did you—”
“I have a very large man that I am fully willing to wield as a weapon. Add to that, my condition,” she uses air quotes and an eye roll. “People pretty much do whatever I say.”
“You throw your own weight around as well?”
“Something like that.”
I don’t have anything to collect, so I stand—this time feeling the weight of little used muscles—and let her lead the way out.
Big D is waiting a few paces down the hall, glaring at anyone who moves, but when his gaze falls on Kimba, he softens.
He glances at me and his mouth opens, but it shuts and I realize he was going to offer to carry my non-existent things.
“Glad we were able to get you out.” D says it, but I have a feeling he’s more concerned about Kimba’s stress than my freedom.
I don’t really care.
“It would have happened quicker if not for that one guy fighting to keep you in here.” Kimba rolls her eyes and before I can ask what guy, we’re through a door and Mary springs up from her seat rushing over to hug me.
In hug her right back. I might not know her well, but it’s been days since I’ve touched another person aside from the brief embrace with Kimba. I’d started to feel like maybe I wasn’t real.
I let her go before it gets awkward and she hands me my purse.
Mary looks so relieved. “I am so glad you’re getting out of here. I’ve been trying this whole time, but I don’t have the… authority. Especially after Wren bonded herself without their knowledge or permission.”
She lets out a big sigh and looks like I’ve taken a hundred pounds off her back, instead of just my purse. “Promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”
“I will.”
She smiles at D—looking just a little scared—and then says goodbye to Kimba and me before heading down a long hallway away from the front door.
“Ready to go home.”
“Home?”
“You’ll want to pack a bag. At the very least.”
D drives and Kimba sits in the back seat with me letting me lean my head on her shoulder. She keeps her hand entwined with mine and when we get to the house, D waits outside.
When we get inside and Kimba reacts to the house much the same way Hazard did, I’m happy D stayed put.
“Noa was particular about things.”
“I hate it.”
I have to laugh at that. “So do I.”
Tugging her hand, gently to draw her attention away from the house, I lead the way to my room, ignoring the way she scowls when I unlock it. Even though he’s dead… some habits die hard.
But when I push the door wide, Kimba lets go a low whistle. “Now this… this I love.”
She hops onto my bed and it bounces a little.
“This is decadent. I hope Hazard is going to be okay with your lavish style.”
“He didn’t complain.”
She sit’s bolt upright as I open the closet. “He was here?”
“Yeah,” I’m not sure if it was okay or not… since we didn’t do anything that time, but, “He stopped by to make sure I was okay. I don’t think I need to tell you why I don’t spend any time out there.”
She looks at me with narrowed eyes. “How long have you been in love with him?”
There ar
e dozens of dates I could pull out of thin air, but none of them were true.
“I don’t know.” Because I don’t. “It kind of snuck up on me.”
I know it wasn’t the first night, or the first time he brought someone else to me. Or maybe it was. Maybe I fell in love with him all at once or a little bit at a time. It didn’t matter. All that mattered is that I do love him… and soon, he’ll be mine.
Her lips twist in a smile and she claps her hands together. “How can I help?”
With Kimba’s assistance, I get most of my clothes stuffed into two suitcases, and the necessary things from the bathroom are tucked in along side. She takes them both to the front door as I take one last look around the room.
I grab the vase that had been my grandmothers and the tablet of legal nonsense from Noa’s lawyers, along with the papers I don’t feel safe leaving unattended for… however long it will take for me to get back.
Anything else can be replaced if something happens.
When I’m done, the room looks a little like it’s been ransacked. And I pull my favorite blanket from the bed, wrapping it and curling it over my arms. Holding it close.
This time, Kimba sits up front. She holds D’s hand as we make the drive to Hazard’s house. We both saw the man watching from his official vehicle at the corner. It was just easier for them to drop me off than risk anyone getting the wrong idea if I drove myself.
But I’m glad they’ve left me alone back here. It means they don’t see my knee jiggling or that I cant stop chewing at the dead skin on my lower lip—not even my heaviest lip balm could heal the days’ worth of drying from that cell.
When we get there, they pull up to the front and D takes my bags to the door. He wishes me a “good luck,” and with a quick hug and a wink, Kimba joins him back in the car.
They only watch me for a second before they drive off and I’m left blinking at the empty drive. What if he’s out in the Zone?
I ring the bell, and when the door swings open, it’s on its own. Hazard isn’t there to greet me. I poke my head in, but I don’t see him anywhere, so I push my cases in, leaving them to one side of the door and when I close it behind me, I finally see him. But only because he moves.
“I told you I didn’t want to talk, Kimba.”
He’s lost weight and I’m starting to think he’s been sitting at that window for a very long time.
“She didn’t come in with me. She just dropped me off.”
All of the muscles in his back tighten and he turns his head—painfully slowly—to look at me over his shoulder. “Am I hallucinating now?”
He says it so blandly, so monotone….
My heart breaks and I can only imagine what he thought when I disappeared right after….
Dropping the blanket on the couch, and the rest of my things on the table in front of it, I go to him. He looks up at me blankly as I drop to my knees.
I take his hand and press it to my cheek. “I’m real.”
His eyes gain back a little focus, and he raises his other hand, fingers trailing down my chin. I catch it when it would have fallen, and hold it tightly to my chest.
“I’m real, Hazard. And I’m yours.” I press a gentle kiss to his lips. The kind of kiss I’d give him if he were asleep.
And as I hoped, he seems to wake, fully. “Hannah?”
He pulls me to him, lips crushed against mine and kisses me so deeply it makes my toes curl.
I pull back, because I have to tell him.
“I want you. I told them before I even got back down the mountain. I have no idea what happened. Maybe they wanted to punish me for leaving without permission, maybe I got lost in paperwork?”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now.”
“And I’m yours.”
He pulls me back to him, lips finding mine, my jaw, my neck.
I attack him just as ravenously and a moment later, we roll. He holds himself over me, making love to my mouth as though he’s never explored it before.
“If you still want me,” drop my head back against the floor. “I’d like to be your bondmate Hazard.”
A faint smile crosses his lips. “I would have waited for you forever—don’t get me wrong, I would have hated it.”
“I wish you’d been the one I’d bonded to the first time.”
He presses up on his elbows, looking down at me with a strange sort of scowl. “We’re already partially bonded.”
“What?”
“Cindy told me a few days ago.” He bundles me closer. “I think… It’s because of that first night at Margot’s.”
“I didn’t have a completed bond to Noa, and you were the first Sian man I’d been with after him….” I drag my finger down his chest.
He looks down at himself, as if remembering for the first time. “I need to shower. I couldn’t work up the energy before…”
“Then let me help you.”
Fourteen
HAZARD
I take her bags and lead the way down the long hall so that I don’t pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.
The urge is startling.
When I set them down again, she looks around the room and I know it’s cold and lifeless compared to what she’s used to.
I hope she’ll help me change that.
She tosses a single blanket onto the bed, a deep purple against the light gray. Somehow, that helps.
“We’ll go back for the rest of your things soon. When I say I want you to move in, I mean, to the whole house. I want this to be your home.”
Her lips purse in a smile. “A home isn’t about the building… it’s about the person you share it with.”
She slips her fingers in mine and tugs me to the bathroom. The floor to ceiling windows extend in here and there’s too much light for her to have not noticed it when she gave the bedroom her once over.
Kissing the back of my hand, she lets it go, long enough to turn on the shower, checking the temperature with her hand until it’s right.
Then, she turns back to me and looks me over with one, long glance.
This time, when she sweeps her shirt off, it’s not like any of the times before. She’s just undressing, not stripping the garments from her body in a sensual display.
But she undresses me too, and when we’re both completely bare, she takes my hand again, and tugs me into the large stall.
This is something we never did. The rooms at Margot’s all have showers and we could have…. But we didn’t. And I don’t want her that way now either. This is different.
I just want to hold her. Soak in the knowledge that she’s here and she’s mine and there’s only one more thing that has to happen before that’s something no one can take from us.
She doesn’t stand still though, she sets to work almost as soon as the glass starts to fog. She’s methodical as she cleans me, and I let her, because even without the full bond, I feel that faint tug that tells me this is something she needs to do.
I watch her, no idea what I could do to help.
“I think I’ve always wanted to bond with you, Hazard. From that first night at Margot’s I had this feeling, deep in my soul that there was something different between us.” She smooths the soapy lather over my shoulders, down my arms. “Every night I hoped you’d appear. Every time you did….”
“You were like an addiction. I wanted you so badly you were all I thought about when I wasn’t with you and when I had you, the idea of letting you go was like ripping my heart from my chest. Every time I left I wished I could take you with me.”
She swallows and maneuvers me so the water sluices the soap from me. “Every time you left, I wished I could go with you.”
Her fingers dig into my neck and the pain against strained muscles feels too good.
“You’re tense. Let’s fix that.”
She reaches behind me to turn the water off, but before she can step out, I cup her face with my hands. Pulling her close and kissing her, I drink her in, reminding myself sh
e is truly here.
With a laugh that makes me ache, she pulls back, her hand clasped firmly in mine. “Come on.”
As soon as she has me out of the shower, she hands me a towel and I dry off, never taking my eyes from her. I’m still half convinced she’s going to vanish.
Her lip keeps ticking up.
She scrunches the towel against her hair and then drops it, walking to me and I know that look. I don’t need to be bonded to her to know what she’s thinking.
How many times has she turned that gaze on me and sunk to her knees in front of me as she is now.
Her mouth is the third closest thing to heaven that I’ve ever felt. And as she takes me into her now, I don’t even care if that fabled place exists.
The Saint’s can keep it.
The first gentle suction makes me stumble back against the counter and her lips tighten in that way that tells me she’s smiling.
I let her play with me for a little while. She is, after all, ridiculously good at it, but when my gut starts to tighten, and I feel the beginnings of what could end this too soon, I guide her back.
She hums a disappointed sigh when I pull her up to standing, but I don’t let her stew in that disappointment. Because I need her.
And I know her too well to think she’ll care about how the bond falls in place. Only that it does.
It’s why she looks up at me with a sweet smile, biting her lip as I walk her back to the wall and lift her up.
She weighs nothing compared the creatures I usually carry, and her arms wrap around my neck. She kisses me like she’s been dying to taste me again, and I keep her like this for a moment, savoring her as I use the wall to hold us both up.
It only takes one thrust.
The moment I’m fully seated inside her the last threads of what we were missing coil together.
The gasp that she pulls in as the bond snaps in place floods me like an effervescent mist. And I still within her.
It’s like the first time again. Then, I’d had no idea what the duller version of this feeling was. Now….