Courting the Amish Nanny

by Carrie Lighte

  “I think you and Jonathan will really hit it off. He’s from Pennsylvania, too,” Levi overheard Grace gushing as she took Sadie by the arm and led her across the room.

  They were almost out the door when Sadie stopped and called over her shoulder, “There’s no need for you to wait for me when you’re ready to go, Levi. Grace says she’s certain one of the young people will give me a ride back to the farm.”

  Then, before he could say goodbye, she was gone and so was the serenity Levi had experienced throughout the day. In its place was a familiar and pervasive gloominess he couldn’t shake for the rest of the evening, no matter how hard he tried.

  Chapter Four

  I am such a dummkopf! Sadie wrote in her diary after Grace’s great-aunt and uncle gave her a ride home from the wedding early Tuesday evening. Once again, I actually thought a man—this time, Levi—was showing signs he was romantically interested in me, only to find out he’s interested in someone else. How could I have been so wrong again?

  I knew when he made the remark about my hair looking nice that he had to say it because Elizabeth’s was done the same way. And I was aware he only told David he’d consider asking me to stay in Maine longer to appease his son. I could even dismiss his slipup in referring to the four of us as a family. But I truly thought he felt something more for me from the way he acted during lunch and throughout the afternoon—hanging on to my every word and laughing at every joke I made, no matter how silly. It’s true he could have just enjoyed joking around with me, as a friend, but when other people came to chat with him, I’d catch him gazing my way, as if he couldn’t take his eyes off me. And then he followed me downstairs to mind everyone’s children—men never do that kind of thing at church gatherings. I suppose it’s possible Levi didn’t think I’d keep a close enough watch on Elizabeth and David in a new setting, but when we got to the basement, I don’t think he glanced at Elizabeth and David more than once or twice. It was as if he only came downstairs to talk to me.

  But I must have been vain or kidding myself to think he was paying special attention to me, because he sure jumped at the chance to have supper with Maria. If he had even a smidgen of romantic interest in me he wouldn’t have insisted I go eat with another man.

  As if that wasn’t upsetting enough, Jonathan was the smuggest person I’ve ever met! I hadn’t sat down with him for more than three minutes when he said, “I should make something clear. I’m walking out with someone back home. Grace doesn’t know about her, so that’s probably why she paired me with you. I wouldn’t want you to think I asked for this introduction.”

  I wanted to tell him not to flatter himself, but I couldn’t be that rude, even if he deserved it. So I said, “That’s okay, I’m only humoring Grace, too. Since it’s tradition for brides to play matchmaker at their weddings, I think it’s important for single guests to politely accept being paired together, whether or not they have anything in common, don’t you?”

  You would have thought he’d catch on, but instead he acted as if it came as a huge relief I wasn’t interested in him. He said, “Gut, I’m glad to hear that. I’ve been to a lot of weddings and I’ve been paired with a lot of meed. You wouldn’t believe how many of them get their noses bent out of shape when I don’t end the meal by asking to court them. They assume the bride seated us together because I had an interest in them—even if I wasn’t showing any interest at all. I mean, I’ve tried to act like a gentleman and engage in friendly conversation, but a lot of meed still get the wrong idea. So now I tell them right off the bat I’m already courting. It saves us both a lot of trouble.”

  After listening to Jonathan talk like that, I realized Levi was probably just being polite and friendly to me earlier because that’s how gentlemen should behave at weddings. I was interpreting it wrong because it’s such a festive, love-focused occasion I got carried away with romantic ideas. If Levi knew the direction my thoughts had taken, he’d probably feel the same way about me that Jonathan felt about those other women. So I guess if there’s any consolation, it’s that I didn’t let on about my feelings. Tomorrow I’ll go about my business as if nothing’s different. Which it isn’t, because I’m not interested in romance; I was just temporarily influenced by the wedding atmosphere, that’s all.

  But that doesn’t mean I’m not upset with Maria. She knew how I felt about not wanting to be paired with anyone, yet she practically led Grace to me by the hand. Why would she do that when I specifically told her not to? My guess is she wanted to be alone with Levi. After all, didn’t she say she used to be close to Leora and she still likes Levi a lot? Judging from his enthusiasm about sitting with her, Levi is probably drawn to Maria, too. Which is of no concern to me. But then Maria should have been honest about it instead of allowing Grace to match me up with Jonathan. I would have preferred taking Elizabeth and David to the children’s table and eating supper with them there than to have to listen to Jonathan!

  It’s no wonder Maria doesn’t feel anxious about being over thirty and being unmarried still—she’s got her sights set on Levi. That’s probably why she said she’d hate for Levi to lose me, too; she wants him to have a nanny so they can walk out in the evenings. For all I know, he’s the reason she invited us to celebrate Thanksgiving at her house—and it’s probably why he was so willing to accept the invitation. That’s fine if they want to court, but I refuse to be the third wheel on Thursday. Thanksgiving is a holiday, so I shouldn’t be expected to mind the children just so Levi and Maria can be together. I’m going to tell them both tomorrow to count me out!

  Sadie slapped her diary shut and set it on the nightstand. Staring at the ceiling, she reflected on how unfair she thought it was that although Grace was only twenty and Maria was thirty-one and they lived in a tiny settlement in the middle of nowhere, they had both managed to find suitors. Yet Sadie lived in one of the counties with the highest Amish population in the country and she had no prospects. None. Why not, Lord? Why not? she prayed, catching a tear before it rolled down her cheek and into her ear.

  But knowing why she didn’t have a suitor when someone else did wasn’t going to make her feel any better about not having one. No, the only way to feel better was to accept her circumstances and learn to be content with them. That was why she’d come to Maine after all. I had no idea it was going to be this hard, though, she thought before removing her prayer kapp and rolling over so she could sleep.

  * * *

  Levi lay in bed straining his ears to hear a buggy approaching. It was almost midnight already and as far as he knew Sadie still wasn’t home. Of course, she might have arrived when he was giving the children baths—they were both wound up from eating too much sugar and he’d thought the warm water would settle them down—but probably not. Sadie clearly didn’t have any intention of coming home early; otherwise she would have ridden with him.

  He couldn’t fault her for that. She was young; young people were interested in courting, or at least in spending time with other young people of the opposite gender. Even though they’d agreed to stick together at the wedding, Levi wondered if she felt resentful she had to stay with him and the children. If she did, he never would have guessed it from her mood throughout the day. She’d practically sparkled; she was so elated anyone might have thought she was the one getting married.

  An image of Leora on their wedding day flashed through his mind, instantaneously followed—as always—by an image of her plain wooden casket being lowered into the ground. Levi shuddered. Thanks to Sadie distracting him with her warmth and witticisms, he’d gotten through the better part of the day without recalling Leora’s funeral. Without wishing he was getting married all over again. Or wishing he’d been a better husband.

  I had my opportunity, he thought. I should have been more careful. I should have been more considerate of my precious wife. He closed his eyes tightly, as if to squeeze the memory from his mind. It didn’t work. It never did.

 
The knot in his neck rivaled the one in his throat. Sleepless, he counted as the clock chimed twelve times. Since he hadn’t heard a buggy coming up the lane, he concluded Sadie must still be out. I hope keeping a late evening doesn’t interfere with her ability to provide care for the kinner tomorrow. I imagine she’ll be exhausted.

  Indeed, the next morning Sadie appeared as fatigued as he felt. “You look like you could use a cup of kaffi,” he said after she’d come into the house and hung her coat on the peg in the mudroom. “You must have been out late last night socializing.”

  Instead of giving him the information he was admittedly curious about, she retorted with an edge in her voice, “You look as if you could use a cup, yourself.”

  Ach. He knew better than to mention when a woman looked tired; it wasn’t meant to be an insult, but it was usually taken as one. So he laughed and said, “Jah, I had a late night. So did Elizabeth and David. Between the wedding celebration and the wedding food, their senses were overstimulated. I gave them baths and read to them. I even told them made-up stories that were so boring they nearly put me to sleep, but they chatted away until almost ten. I hope they’re not like this after Thanksgiving, too.”

  Sadie set down her mug. “I’m glad you brought that up, because I’ve decided I’d prefer not to go to Maria’s haus for Thanksgiving with you and the kinner. I mean, it’s not as if you’ll be working, so I don’t feel I should be required to watch the twins. Besides, Maria will be happy to help you watch them.”

  She must have been invited to share Thanksgiving dinner with Jonathan’s familye at the Bawell haus. Levi wasn’t surprised she’d want to see him again, but Sadie had already accepted the invitation to Maria’s and he thought it was inconsiderate of her to change her mind at the last minute. And if he were honest, he had to admit the prospect of spending the afternoon with Maria and her mother and aunt didn’t seem as much fun without Sadie.

  “Changing your mind like that doesn’t seem like a very fair or thoughtful thing to do,” he said, not bothering to conceal his disappointment.

  “Well, I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to work on a holiday.”

  So, he was right; she did resent spending extra time with him and the children. How foolish he’d been to think she’d actually want to be with them when she wasn’t being paid to be. Levi couldn’t demand she honor her commitment to spend Thanksgiving with them, but he didn’t want to make her decision any easier on her, either. “I think Maria will be disappointed you aren’t coming.”

  “That’s unlikely, but I’ll work that out with her myself. Since I already told Maria I’d bring dessert and she probably won’t have time to whip anything up at short notice, I’ll make a couple of pies this afternoon for you to take with you.”

  “Are we having pie?” Elizabeth asked from the doorway, rubbing her eyes.

  “Not today, you’re not,” Levi replied, cupping his daughter’s chin in his hand and tilting her face upward. It occurred to him the children would be as disappointed as he was that Sadie wasn’t coming to dinner at Maria’s house, and suddenly he was doubly annoyed. Not only would he miss having Sadie there, but she was going to upset the children, too.

  To Elizabeth he said, “You can have a piece of the pie Sadie sends with us to Maria’s haus for Thanksgiving tomorrow.”

  “Isn’t Sadie coming with us, Daed?” Elizabeth questioned. “You said she was.”

  Levi glanced in Sadie’s direction; her back was turned and she was fiddling with something in the sink. “Neh. Thanksgiving is a holiday and Sadie doesn’t have to be with us on holidays.”

  “But it won’t be any schpass without her,” Elizabeth sniveled. “I want her to be with us on the holidays.”

  I did, too, Levi thought.

  * * *

  I wish he hadn’t told Elizabeth about my decision. Now she’ll be pouty all morning. But unlike her daed, at least she doesn’t consider spending time with Maria to be as much schpass as spending time with me, Sadie thought. Trying to mollify her, she said to Elizabeth, “Would you like to help me prepare the dough for the pies? Your daed doesn’t allow you near the oven but I’ll show you how to use the rolling pin.”

  Levi opened his mouth—was he going to say the rolling pin was dangerous, too?—but then closed it again and left the room to check on David. After he bade the children goodbye, he told Sadie not to make lunch for him. He said it was because he was still full from the wedding feast and he’d be too busy preparing the farm for the arrival of customers to take a break. Sadie doubted his excuses were true. Obviously he was irked she was ruining his Thanksgiving plans, but she didn’t care; his romance with Maria wasn’t her problem.

  “Can we make pie now?” Elizabeth interrupted her thoughts.

  “After you and David eat your breakfast. Meanwhile, I’ll get the ingredients ready. What kind of pie should we make—apple or pumpkin?” Sadie actually planned to make both types of pie. She anticipated the children might each choose the opposite of what the other child wanted, so she’d brought spices she’d found in their grandmother’s pantry to combine with ingredients Levi had in his.

  “Pumpkin!” David declared.

  “Neh, apple. Daed doesn’t like pumpkin pie, ’member? Groossmammi never maked pumpkin pie because Daed doesn’t like nutmeg and Groossmammi said a pumpkin pie without nutmeg isn’t worth the energy it takes to make it,” his sister reminded him.

  Although it was sweet of Elizabeth to be so considerate of her father, Sadie’s annoyance at him got the better of her. I don’t care if Elizabeth, Levi’s mother and Maria all cater to his preferences. That doesn’t mean I’m going to.

  “Which kind of pie do you like better, Elizabeth?” Sadie coaxed the answer from her.

  “Pumpkin. With caramel and pecans on top.”

  “I don’t like that stuff on mine,” David objected.

  His sister reprimanded him, “You can scrape it off if you don’t like it but you shouldn’t say you don’t like it. That’s not polite.”

  “Actually, I’m going to make two pumpkin pies,” Sadie decided. “One with pecans and caramel and one without.”

  “What will Daed eat for dessert?”

  Although she felt ever so slightly guilty, Sadie shrugged. “I guess Maria will have to make something sweet for him.”

  Her answer satisfied Elizabeth, who brought her dishes to the sink and climbed onto the stool to wash her hands. David didn’t want to be left out, so he washed his hands, too. By the time the three of them finished rolling the crusts and preparing the filling, there was so much flour on the table it looked as if there had been a snow squall. One of Elizabeth’s prayer kapp ribbons was sticky with caramel, and Sadie was almost positive David put some of the pecans he dropped on the floor back into the canister. But when Elizabeth announced if she was ever a nanny she was going to make a pie with the children because it was so much fun, Sadie knew the mess was worth it.

  After Sadie slid the pies into the oven, David declared, “It’s too bad Daed doesn’t like nutmeg, because these are going to be the best pumpkin pies ever.”

  “He doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Elizabeth said woefully and Sadie had to bite her lip so the children wouldn’t see her smirking.

  * * *

  Levi pounded a sign into the nearly frozen earth, hoping the wood post wouldn’t snap in two. His crew was palletizing the last of the tree shipments as he prepared the grounds for the arrival of customers. The other men had already helped him position long logs into place to indicate a parking lot perimeter on the same side of the yard as the barn. If more customers than expected showed up, they’d roll the logs back to expand the area, but Levi would cross that bridge if he came to it. Right now, he was positioning signs to indicate where customers could pick up handsaws, where they could locate the variety of tree they wanted—balsam, Fraser or Scotch—and of course, where they could pay fo
r their purchases.

  When he finished, Levi turned a slow circle, surveying the yard and farm. His Christmas tree lot was devoid of the strung lights and piped-in music many of the Englisch farms used to create a festive atmosphere, but the Amish didn’t allow such material trappings. Furthermore, Levi didn’t think they were necessary. If customers inhaled the pine-and-balsam scent of the trees, beheld the vibrant green of the conifers and slowed down enough to appreciate the relative quietude of the farm, they’d realize the beauty of God’s creation was more than enough to make the season joyous.

  Of course, Levi also hoped they’d find the perfect trees to take home for their celebrations. While not as grueling and unpredictable as other kinds of farming, growing full, healthy trees was more difficult than he and Leora had imagined. They’d quickly discovered the farm required nearly year-round care, including fertilizing, managing weeds and insects, and, of course, pruning. Now harvest time was finally here. But Leora isn’t, Levi thought. It had been almost three years, and while grief no longer had a chokehold on him, during moments like this it was all Levi could do not to weep. He wished his wife was there to see their work and patience pay off.

  “Everything looks wunderbaar,” Maria said. Levi was so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn’t seen her approach. “Only two more days! Leora would have been so pleased.”

  “You think so?” Levi felt the same way, but he was reassured by Maria’s sentiment.

  “Jah, although she would have said that sign is crooked,” Maria replied and Levi laughed. Leora did have a way of fussing over small details, a point of contention between them during their marriage that seemed utterly insignificant now.

  Straightening the signpost, Levi asked, “How are the wreaths coming along?”

  The crew members had been transporting the wreaths from the racks in the workshop to bigger storage racks in the barn, but Levi trusted Maria implicitly, so he hadn’t kept track of her progress.