Origin

by Ana Jolene

  And the pink? My mind couldn’t even attempt to comprehend that. I knew Seven had done this on purpose. Was this payback for what I’d done earlier? Whatever. It would take more than the overwhelming scent of flowers and pink sheets to get rid of me.

  Shaking my head, I devoted my attention on unpacking my bags. There was less chance of an aneurysm that way. Though I figured that if I had to live with Seven for longer than a week, I might just kill myself instead. There was less pain that way.

  The last time I was here sitting on this couch, we’d gotten caught in a storm. At the time, anything had felt better than being out in the rain. Now, with the hot breeze from outside wafting in, the soft fabric of the couch seemed overly warm.

  I usually slept naked, but I figured since I was sleeping in the living room where there were no closed doors, Seven would probably appreciate some clothes on my body. See? Who said I wasn’t accommodating?

  Much like everything else recently, sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned until I decided that the floor might be a better option. In the two months I’d been away, I’d slept on an old mattress on the floor. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing but when the day exhausted you, rocks were good enough to lie on as long as you could give your brain a break.

  As I spread out on the ground and tucked the cushion from the couch under my head, the scent of my sister’s strawberry shampoo filled my nostrils. Leaving her had been hard, but I couldn’t stay with her forever either. Her life and her health were now in her hands.

  Since seeing her again, I found it hard not to remember our childhood. So much of it felt like it was repeating. First, my mother. Now, my baby sister. It seemed that the both of them were cut from the same pattern, both falling prey to the same devil.

  Closing my eyes, my mind opened up, bringing to the surface everything I had buried deep in my memories . . .

  “The skies above are blue. My heart was wrapped up in clover, the night I looked at you.”

  She sang to me. Whenever my mother was sad, she would sing songs from her favorite artists.

  Sometimes they were sad songs that fit her mood, but most of the time, she’d sing songs that allowed her to belt out those high notes and be as loud and as boisterous as she dared to be.

  I grew to love those moments. They became the only good memories I had of my mother. At those times, she was the loving, nurturing mother that adored her children.

  It was those memories I wanted to keep with me.

  “Dylan,” she smiled as she looked down at me. I sat on the couch of our two-room apartment, playing with the TV remote control. Half the time, we didn’t have cable, but today seemed like one of those lucky days. Lennon was sitting in her lap, being cuddled like the princess she was when Ma craned her neck to look out the window. “Could you watch your sister while I see who is at the door?”

  I stiffened at the request but nodded as she carefully placed Lennon on the couch beside me and went to answer the door. I knew who it was even before there was a knock.

  I didn’t like Wild Bill. He was often too loud and pushy. And he made Ma cry on more than one occasion. Today, he was wearing an oversized black shirt that hung like a drape over his beer belly. His receding hairline was covered with a baseball cap that read “Velvet Lounge” on the front, and he always seemed to smell funny. My nostrils would sting whenever he was around.

  He followed Ma into our apartment, shooting me a cursory glance before he tossed something in a plastic bag onto the kitchen table. Our dog, Bishop, was a greyhound and he immediately went to it, thinking it was food.

  I couldn’t tell exactly what it was from my place on the couch, but it looked like a stack of bills. I was sure my eyes got wide and dollar signs were now rolling in over my pupils because Wild Bill barked, “Not fucking yours, kid. But maybe one day when you’re older you can work for me and earn cash like a real man.”

  I was eight. What did I know about making money? All I knew was that we didn’t have enough of it. Shamed into being caught salivating over it, I turned my attention to Lennon but kept my ears open and alert to their conversation.

  “You got what I need?” Ma asked.

  “Yeah.” I didn’t have to look over to know he had a grin on his face.

  “Good,” Ma said, sounding relieved. “I just need a little to tide me over. I’m going to quit after this. I swear it.”

  “That’s what you said last time, lady. And the time before that. I like you, I do. But Wild Bill knows when he’s got someone hooked and that sparkle in your eye, honey, that’s need like I’ve never seen before.”

  I frowned, keeping my gaze off them even as instinct told me something was up. Why did he always talk about himself in third person?

  “I’ve just been feeling really down lately, you know? I need something to pick me back up.”

  “Wild Bill’s got ya.” He pulled out a leather pouch from his jacket, and inside I could see small little baggies that Ma often used to keep her jewelry in. This time, they were filled with something white and powdery.

  “What’s that?” I asked from my place on the couch.

  “Oh, honey—” Ma started but was cut off when Wild Bill’s eyes danced and he tossed his head back in a roaring laugh.

  “This?” He held up one of the packets in his hand, pinching it with a thumb and pointer finger. “This is just some medicine to make your mom feel happy. You want your mom to be happy, right?”

  My eyes cut to Ma who was frozen and silent. Her face had gone a little pale, as if someone had forgot to color in the redness in her cheeks that morning. “Yes,” I whispered.

  Ma’s lips lifted in a sad smile as tears began to form in her eyes. No, wait! Why was she crying? I wanted her to be happy. She deserved to be happy.

  “Good,” Wild Bill chimed. “Then we’re all going to be happy in a short time, aren’t we?” he asked Ma.

  Ma was still looking at me, wetness trailing down her cheeks. I stared back at her confused by all this. Then her gaze cut to Lennon who was undressing her Barbie and scattering all her clothing on the floor. “No,” Ma whispered then. She turned to face Wild Bill and there was added strength in her voice now. “No, Bill. I’ve changed my mind.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t want it. I’ll make do without it.” She moved towards me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and tugging me close to her body as if to protect me. I looked up at her and then glanced back at Wild Bill.

  His expression had changed. He was no longer happy. Wild Bill was pissed.

  “I came all this way here to make a buy, bitch. You’re gonna buy.”

  “No,” Ma said more firmly. “I’ve changed my mind. Take your things and leave.”

  Wild Bill blew out a breath, clearly displeased about making the trip all the way here. But he gathered his things and made to leave. As Ma ushered him out the door, I finally allowed myself to relax.

  I didn’t think my young mind could fully understand all that had happened, but I knew that we had just grazed a bullet with that.

  Ma was just returning from locking the door when there was another knock. She turned back around, opened the door a smidgen without removing the chain lock. “Bill?”

  “I’ve changed my mind too,” Wild Bill growled right before he kicked the door open, causing it to hit Ma in the face as she stumbled back on a startled cry.

  I was in action, moving fast towards her to help when Wild Bill shot me once furious look and swatted me away like a fly. My head hit the wall in a hard smack. I heard Lennon’s distressed crying, saw Ma lying motionless on the floor a few feet away from me, blood pooling from her nose, before my vision wavered and darkness pulled me under.

  The memory sat like a lump of coal in my heart. I later learned that Wild Bill had robbed us, trashing the house, but left a crying Lennon untouched as far as we could tell. The apartment, though, suffered. Everything was ruined. Even with the damage to the doors, we couldn’t afford to move to a nicer place.
/>   I’d earned a mild concussion when I’d hit my head against the wall, but Ma had the worst of the injuries. Her face had been bashed in with that one blow, crushing her nose. For a while, she was down and I became the man of the house at eight years old, taking care of her and Lennon until she got better.

  From her bed, she would curl up with Lennon and sing to her, cooing softly and belting out song lyrics whenever she felt stronger. That year, I learned to do basic housework. It caused you to grow up fast. At eight, I didn’t have the means to make it on my own. Running wasn’t ever an option. In fact, at the time, the thought of it never crossed my mind. What had happened to us was just a shitty thing. I never once thought it was because of my mother’s addiction. An eight-year-old boy still had rose-colored glasses on and didn’t know shit about how addiction could fuck up a person’s life.

  What a fucking fool I’d been.

  SIX

  Barbie Porn Palace

  Seven

  The blaring sound of the alarm jolted me out of bed. One second I was sleeping, the next I was wide-eyed, frazzled with my heart beating like it was trying to run out the door.

  A side-glance at the old clock on the wall told me I was running late for work again. So without preamble, I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, grabbed my towel and work clothes, and rushed towards the bathroom.

  My forehead met the door in a loud smack. “Auugh!” What the hell? I rubbed my forehead while mentally threatening the barrier before me. In my sleepy haze, I hadn’t heard the sounds of the water running, nor noticed the fact that the light was on inside, or that the door was locked.

  Leaning in, I listened closely, hearing someone humming inside. Oh God. How could I forget I had a new roommate? “Hey, Lucky! I need to use the bathroom! I’m late for work!” I had less than half an hour to shower, dress, have breakfast, and rush out the door to make it in time for work. When there was no response, I banged loudly on the door. “What the hell are you doing in there?”

  “Jesus, woman, calm the fuck down. I’m lathering!” Images of Lucky naked, running sudsy water over his muscled torso threatened to poison my mind but I pushed it back.

  Irritation made me snappy. It didn’t help that I’d been tossing and turning for most of the night, unable to find sleep until the early morning. That had just been two hours ago.

  I settled onto the floor beside the bathroom door and frowned. How many bikers did you know who rose at six in the morning and hummed in the shower? Lucky was already proving to be the worst roommate ever. Standing, I put my ear to the door and heard the water shut off. “You about done now?”

  “No,” came the gruff reply.

  “I’m late for work!”

  “One fucking second! Can you give me that?”

  “What’s taking so long? What are you even doing in there?”

  “I’m sure your mind can come up with something,” he retorted.

  I glanced at the clock. I was down to fifteen minutes. “Hurry up!”

  “All right, all right, I’m done. No need to throw a goddamn hissy fit!”

  Finally! I gathered my clothes and held them to my chest, waiting for the door to open. Minutes passed and no sounds from inside indicated that Lucky was coming out soon. I leaned in, putting my ear to the door again and listened.

  The door unexpectedly whipped open, making me lose my balance. I fell forward but caught myself with a hand on the doorjamb. Thank goodness for quick reflexes! I didn’t want Lucky seeing me brain myself for the second time this morning.

  Lucky’s annoyed glare bore down on me as if I was the one who was irritating him. “What the fuck was that?” Hot steam wafted out from the bathroom as he stood there. “Were you listening through the door?”

  “I have work, you know.”

  “Yeah, you yelled it about five times while I was in there.”

  “Then why were you in the shower when you knew I would need it?”

  “I did it to piss you off.”

  Ugh! “Just move. I need to get in there.”

  “Be my guest,” he muttered as he slipped out. He smelled delicious. Like spices and lemons. A lock of damp hair fell over one eye before he brought his hand up to smooth it back. When his eyes met mine, they were piercing and angry. “Enjoy your shower,” he snarled before turning and walking towards the stairs.

  His towel rode dangerously low on his hips and my eyes immediately magnetized to the elaborate tattoo spanning his back. How had I not seen this before? A massive bald eagle, wings spread took up his upper torso from shoulder to shoulder. The ink was impressive, the details exquisite. Had it been on anyone else, the tattoo would’ve been sexy as hell.

  Last night, I wondered what Lucky would look like shirtless. Seeing the full effect now, it would probably make a grown woman cry. Of course, now I was wondering what he’d look like naked.

  Yikes. On that dangerous thought, I slipped into the bathroom, locking him—and hopefully thoughts of him—out. Within two minutes, I was as dirt-free as I was going to get within the limited time frame I had. Time to get out, get dressed, and get gone. But my efforts were stalled when I couldn’t find my panties anywhere. “Shit. Where are they?” I searched for a few seconds more but there was no time. Instead, I slipped into my pants commando, trying not to notice how uncomfortable it was. My bra went on, and so did my shirt. My hair had to be plaited quickly so that it didn’t bother me while I was riding. I was in and out before I knew it.

  But when I opened the door to the bathroom, Lucky stood there with an amused expression on his face. He was still distractingly shirtless and I ignored him as I whizzed past him to go down to the kitchen. I needed breakfast. Stat. Having a high metabolism meant I was usually starving like an alley cat by morning.

  Lucky lingered in the doorway as he watched me prepare breakfast. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?” I asked.

  “You’re not wearing any panties, are you?”

  I froze. “Of course I am!” And how the hell did he know that I wasn’t?

  Without a word, he lifted his hand. Dangling off the edge of his fingers were the panties I couldn’t find. I must’ve dropped them while I was yelling at him earlier. Turning red, I snatched them from him before crumpling them into a tiny ball and shoving them in my bag.

  Lucky snickered before tossing a medium-sized parcel on the table between us. “Found this on the front steps.”

  “What is it?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you usually get packages like that?”

  “No.” The box was nondescript, no markings whatsoever on it to indicate who it was addressed to. Maybe someone had left it at the wrong house? I wasn’t expecting any packages.

  “Open it,” Lucky encouraged with a tilt of his chin.

  I couldn’t deny that I was curious myself, but this seemed odd. “You do it,” I told him. If it was something dangerous, I wanted to be as far away from it as possible.

  “Fine.” He reached behind him for a pocketknife and started dissecting the package through the middle like a frog.

  Despite bracing myself, nothing exploded or jumped out as he tore at it. “What is it?” I peered inside when Lucky slid it over to me. Inside was just a simple bag of potato chips, the kind I used to like as a kid. “Oh, I love these!”

  Lucky snatched the box away from me. “Are you crazy?”

  I stared at him wide-eyed. “What?”

  “These could be from anyone, you know. What if they’re poisoned? Or—”

  “Oh, please.” I snatched the box back, opening the sealed bag of chips and popping one delicious morsel into my mouth. “You’re so paranoid.”

  “Fine. Eat it and die.”

  Suddenly I wasn’t feeling so good. Panic filled my eyes as I clutched my neck, taking in big, heaving breaths. Lucky simply stared at me as I faked my own death. “Aren’t you going to save me?” I wailed.

  “I’d rather see you turn blue.”

  I rolled my eyes. So much for m
essing with him. “The chips are fine,” I said as I bit into one. “Want one?”

  Lucky glared at the bag I offered him. “Your boyfriend gives shitty gifts.”

  Boyfriend? Oh, did he mean Trey? At least he was nice enough to get me something even after I ditched him.

  Lucky shook his head. “You’re terrible with men.”

  “You’re not a genius with women either,” I shot back.

  Lucky scowled at me before glancing at the clock. “Don’t you have some place to be?”

  “Oh shit!” Jolting up, I ran for the door. When he thought I was gone, I saw Lucky pick a chip from the bag and eat it.

  * * *

  “You look gorgeous,” Trey said when he came by later that afternoon. Apparently, he liked the haggard look on women.

  “I’m gassed,” I admitted. “Didn’t sleep well.” And the mad rush this morning didn’t help. Not even a touch up in the washroom could fix up my appearance.

  “I figured you might be tired. Especially after last night. How’d the moving go?”

  Damn, word traveled fast. Not even a full day had passed and everyone knew I had a new roomie. “How’d you know?”

  “Well, when a fully-patched Glory member goes missing and then shows up unexpectedly at Neptune’s, word gets around.” True. If there were celebrities left in this world, Glory MC would be it. Trey grinned. “I wanted to call to make sure you got home all right, but it was already late.”

  “That’s sweet,” I told him. “I did and I went straight to bed.”

  “The action at Neptune’s not enough to keep you up?”

  “One punch hardly counts as an exciting night.”

  His bright eyes widened. “Well, you and I have different views on what counts as exciting.”

  “Trust me, crazier shit has happened.”

  “I may have missed the fighting, but I still had a great time last night. Up for another date?”

  “I don’t know. Think you can handle another crazy night with me?”

  “I hope to.” His eyes sparkled with mirth. “Look, I’ll call you tonight and we can set something up.”