“Am I dreaming?”
“Yes” she answers me “but I’ve come to you because you need to wake up. Our girl needs you now more than ever. You have to take solace in her, Malibu. You both need each other to get through this. Don’t abandon her. Don’t you dare do it.”
“I can’t do this without you, Fern baby, I just can’t.”
“Yes, you can and you will.”
“No! I can’t and I don’t want to damnit!”
“Man up, Malibu. You love her, I know it and you know it. Go to her, give her a reason to live.”
“Live, you’re fucking joking with me right. Because god damn it Fern, my reason for living left when you took your last breath.”
“Fine, if you won’t take care of her and love her then I’ll bring her with me where someone does love her! ME!”
“What? What do you mean? Explain yourself?” A sudden fear and anxiety like I’ve never felt slithered down my spine.
“If you don’t want her and you don’t love her then I’ll bring her with me. I do love her and I thought you did too.”
“I do, I just don’t know how without you here with us.”
“Then you don’t deserve her and I’ll bring her into the light and you can move on with your life without either one of us. Have a good life Malibu”
“No! Don’t do it…please don’t. Please, I’m begging you. Not both of you.”
“Will you love her and only her until the day you die?”
“Yes, always.”
“If you don’t, if you hurt her I’m coming back for her and you’ll not get another chance from me. I’ll snatch her and never look back.”
“Promise, I swear I will love her till I take my last breath”
“Good, and Malibu?”
“Yes baby?”
“It’s my fault, I did something bad. She’s suffering because I made a decision. She doesn’t know, please don’t make her suffer for my bad choices. Love her because out of anyone she deserves it. I never did. I’m sorry”
And just like that she walks away into the light and leaving me in complete darkness again. I wake up to someone speaking softly to me. It’s Kaci and she’s telling me Kassi is alright, she made it through the crisis and will be okay. I make a vow right then and there that Kassi will feel my love every second, every hour of every day for the rest of her life. She will never doubt my feelings and I will never second guess mine for her again. I will however, figure out what Fern said to me in my dream because dream or not I can feel it in my gut that shit was for real.
What she said to me was truth, and I need to know that Kassi is out of harm’s way and is safe. Whatever I need to do to ensure that I will. I will kill everyone in sight if that’s what it takes to make her safety a reality. Forever.
Chapter 31
Kaci
It’s been eight weeks since the BBQ and four weeks since they let Kassi out of her coma. She is slowly coming around but suffers traumatic nightmares and still has issues with her damage from the attack. She remembers everything and even though it’s her story to tell it’s one that haunts me rather I’m awake or asleep. My sister isn’t the same, not sure she ever will be again from not only what she witnessed but what she suffered herself. The things she learned that night of her best-friends second life has tormented her. If she’d known though she would’ve been right, there by Fern’s side no doubt in my mind. Malibu hasn’t left her side longer than needed for the club. He’s gone to every single therapy appointment with her and wakes up holding her and loving her through her nightmares.
Since he’s found out about Fern’s deception and lies he’s held onto Kassi harder than ever. His alpha side has come to life and he’s so protective I practically get a pat down and go through an interrogation when I come to visit. If I didn’t love him so much for what he means and has done to help my sister I’d kick him in the balls. He’s so infuriating at times, but the fact that I understand why is the reason he can have children in the future. At some point, if he continues to stay lucky and out of my right foot’s way. They search for Travler and Tumblers father continues, the rat bastard has covered his trails well, which leaves to question why? Is it because he knows his boys joined an MC and can come and make him pay penance for his transgressions against them or did he get himself into something far shadier that he’s running from? We’re so full of questions at this point in the search. As a matter of fact, there’s more questions than answers at this time and it’s a point of contention for my man and his brothers.
We’ve seen our son a couple more times on the ultrasound and he’s perfect. I’m practicing on the twins and Kori and I have what we call a pregnancy day out. We go out and pamper ourselves, do a little baby shopping and lunch. She and I have grown close and Lila Rose is slowly but surely getting over her grandfather’s kidnapping and is improving more and more each day. She’s such a lovely little girl, so beautiful and intelligent. One day she’s going to give some poor sap a run for his money and I can’t wait to sit back and watch it happen. They guys on the other hand have her first date planned out well. The young boy will pick her up to a gun cleaning crusade. Needless to say, if he doesn’t run for the hills he will be very deserving of our little MC princess.
Kid is taking to fatherhood amazingly, he dotes on his wife and pampers her. He falls in love with her more every day and you can see it in not only his actions but in his eyes when he sees her. The love is there plain as day to see. Riley is a natural mom and Wasp and Ashton are reaping the rewards of being grandparents. Spoiling them rotten then sending home to mom and dad as it should be.
Travler and I have been talking through our childhoods and learning more and more about each other. He really is the perfect man for me. Sitting here in the clubhouse backyard watching the men ‘man the grill’ is a site to behold. The women and I are sitting back relaxing and watching them harass each other.
“How is Kassi doing?” Sky asks me.
“She’s getting better and stronger every day. Should be getting out of rehab in a couple of weeks.”
“I was going to go see her and Kid told me to hold off. Says Malibu is a bit of a freak when it comes to her visitors and he’d hate to have to knock his ass out after all he’s been through.” Riley states.
“Umm…yeah, he’s a little ridiculous with the whole thing. I get a speech every time I go to see her. Don’t tell her anything bad, don’t upset her, be gentle and when I spread ‘my gossip’ make sure its good and nothing that will upset her. God love him though, he’s been there every step of the way. He goes to therapy with her, both the physical and mental. If I didn’t know for sure he loved her before I’d believe it now. He’s so good and patient with her. I wouldn’t wish another for her to be honest with you.”
“I just can’t even imagine being in either of their positions. To lose someone you love that way and keep the other one close has to be hard. I’m proud of them for not pushing the other away though. If I lost Ryder, I don’t think I’d survive it.” Sky announces.
“Same here,” Riley says.
“I don’t think I’d want to go on another day without Tumbler” Sadie says.
“I’ve lived without Tic, never want to again. Through death or otherwise” Kori states.
“I agree with every one of you” I say. Then a pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt hits and I scram bloody murder. Everything around me stops and suddenly Travler is in front of me on his knees and grabs my face holding it between his hands.
“What is it babe? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know!” I bellow and grab my stomach as another intense pain hits me. “Somethings wrong!” Commotions surrounds me but the only thing I can think of is the grueling pain that has taken me.
“I’m picking you up, babe. We’re going to the hospital.”
“Hurry” I squeal through my pain. “Please hurry, I’m scared, somethings very wrong.”
“We’re going babe, don’t you worry everything is g
oing to be fine.”
Chapter 32
Travler
Once we pull up to the emergency room doors a nurse is waiting for us as Kaci’s doctor promised. She is taken immediately in my wheelchair and ran into an obstetrics emergency room. I’m told by the staff that I need to go into the waiting room and wait for them to get her settled in. Not happy in the least I do as I’m told; the most important thing right now is my son and his mother. My feelin’s are null and void at this point in time. I was promised I can be with her as soon as they have her settled in.
I told the nurse I’d give them thirty to get her settled in and then I’m coming in rather their ready for me or not. I can tell she wanted to argue with me but the look I gave her told her there would be no use in arguing with me. That’s my woman and child in there. Nothing and I mean nothing will keep me away. As I pace the waiting room I feel the walls closing in on me. It’s getting harder and harder to breath. I don’t know what is happening with my family and it has me on edge.
Finally, a nurse comes running out calling my name.
“That’s me, I’m him.” I say nervously.
“She’s being taken in to the O.R for emergency C-section. We need to get you dressed and ready so you can go in and be with her.” She says.
“It’s not time!” I all but shout out.
“I know sweetie, we know and we’re prepared to take care of both of their needs. You need to be strong for them. Be the glue that holds her together through this. Can you do that for her?” she asks me.
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go” She leads me down hall after hallway until we reach a room where she hands me scrubs and a hat and booties. These booties are extremely small and I know won’t reach around my big assed feet. I look at her appalled. If I need these to fit to go in how will I make it? She laughs at me and tells me to do the best I can and try to get as much of the souls of my boots as possible. So, I stretch them out till they’re at their breaking point and leave it at that. Nothing else I can do about it now. Then the nurse leads me to the operating room where they’re going to be delivering my son shortly. I see Kaci strapped to a gurney will arms stretched out wide and she’s buckled in. The sight makes me queasy.
“Why is she strapped down like a common criminal,” I ask the nurse
“It’s for her protection honey.” I see Kaci looking around the room searching for something and in my gut, I know it’s me. I rush over to her and sit on the stool seated by her head.
“I’m here, babe” the relief that enters her eyes calms me just a tiny bit.
“It’s too early, Travler.”
“I know babe, I know. But he’s strong, like his daddy and his momma and he’s gonna be fine.”
“I hope your right, I’m so scared.”
“Me too, babe. You and me though, we’ve got this. You hear me?”
“I hear you. Please God let him be alright.” she whispers
The doctor then says to her “Sweetie, we’re ready. You’re going to feel some pressure and some tugging. No pain, if for any reason, you feel anything near pain you let me know immediately. You two ready to meet your son?”
“As ready as we can be, I suppose.” she mutters
“Just keep him and my girl safe doc. That’s all that matters.”
“You got it mom and dad, let’s give this little one his birthday, shall we” she winks at Kaci trying to ease her nerves. Twenty-minutes later I hear the wailing of my very pissed off son. For being five weeks early his lungs sure have developed just fine.
“It’s definitely a boy, happy birthday to you.” Then I get a fantastic shock, one that I can’t help but join in on. The entire staff that just delivered my son starts singing happy birthday. Kaci and I both join in on the singing and the doc finishes up my girl and a different doc is looking after my boy.
“You did it babe, thank you for this joy you’ve given me. You both have saved my soul.” Kaci gives me a wobbly smile and has tears running down her cheeks.
“Ditto” she says looking tired and worn out.
“His scores are very good for a preemie. His lungs seem to be fully developed and he’s scoring very high on all his test. I’d still like to take him to the NICU ward to be on the safe side and run a few more test.” My son’s doctor tells us. “If everything comes back normal we will bring him down to you as soon as we can. But first this nurse needs you to look over these bracelets and acknowledge all information is correct before we can leave and take him with us. You two will get matching bracelets that only parents can get. It’s a safety precaution all parents get it insures your child’s identity and safety.”
We already knew about the bracelets from when we pre-registered for her birth. The safety precautions in the bracelets made me happy and a feeling of security for my son to be safe while not under my watchful eye. Once we verify the information is correct we get our matching bracelets to that of our son’s and we get to hold him for a few short minutes a piece before they are whisking him away to NICU. He looks good and healthy and I can’t wait to show him off to his new family.
Once Kaci is settled into her room a nurse from her floor takes me to see my son. I watch as they run test after test and I am taking pictures and sending updates to Kaci. So far, so good. He’s steadily passing all of his test and even the doctors and nurses are impressed with the results and how well he is since he’s premature. I am thanking my lucky stars that he didn’t come into this world any sooner than he did and his body was ready. He has some weight to gain before he can leave the hospital which knowing that’s he’s my boy I know it won’t take long. Especially if he has my appetite. I’m thanking my good fortune for the day I gave into my desires and finally relented into giving myself over to Kaci. The change she’s brought out in my thoughts and fears is something I will forever be grateful and thankful to her for. She is my rock, my love, mother of my son, she is my world. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The hardships I went through in childhood I would do all over again if it meant I wind up right back here. Living life and enjoying every damn day of it. The love of a good woman, my brothers and the gift of a son. What else could a man ask for?
The End
Epilogue
Malibu
Watching my brothers with their families makes me happy that I still have my girl here with me. She’s had a hard time getting through what happened to her and Fern. She proves every day how strong she is. Her physical recover is over, she worked hard and is healthy. Her mental issues though are what bothers me. Every night she still has a nightmare. She walks into a room and checks out every nook and corner. I have to check and double check closets and all locks on doors and windows every night. It’s become a routine she needs to be able to sleep. What little sleep her dreams allow her to have that is.
Every nightmare produces a cold sweat that results in showers and changing of sheets. I’ve spoken with her therapist who assures me this is all normal and one day everything will click back into place. Our relationship is different without Fern, but we’ve become closer and stronger and I’m a fucking lucky son of a bitch that I can still hold her in my arms every single night. I will always miss my Fern and she will always hold a place in my heart. However, I have a hard time forgiving her for what she did and what she put Kassi through.
Her secrets and deception will always haunt my girl. I will be there every step of the way. I finally got to make love to her for the first time two nights ago, since the incident. She was so insecure about me seeing her body with her scars she will now carry for the rest of her life. To me, it shows how she’s a survivor and I worship those scars. It was the best night of my life, because holding her and being inside of her reminded me that she’s still here, she’s still alive and breathing and I can hold her and love her whenever I want to.
Bristol has become a God send. She’s attached herself to Kassi since the day she woke in the hospital and has been there every day since. It’s as if she’s always been h
ere, she belongs with us, she is one of us now and I vow my allegiance to her. Without her, it would’ve been a much harder and longer road for my girl.
Kassi
Every day I feel stronger and healthier, but with every day my anger and hatred for my dead best-friend grows. How could she do the things she did? How could she put me in the middle of it? What was she trying to gain by leading a double life? She cost me my fearlessness, my confidence and my self-esteem to a point. I now bare scars of that night, a night I will never forget. Not only because my dreams won’t let me but because my body shows me every time I look into a mirror. I wouldn’t let Malibu see me naked for a long time. Not till a couple nights ago, for fear that he might reject me. Instead he worshiped me and took time loving every inch of me scars included. He says they show him I’m a survivor, that I survived for him.
There’s something gnawing inside of me that I’m having a harder time controlling. The anger and hatred is there and is ready to be unleashed. I want to kill the bastards that did this to me. Hell, I want to go back in time and kill their fathers to make sure their sperm never mates with the egg in which conceived them. I hate them, I loathe them and I wish them ever ill will I can muster up in my mind.
I want payback, I want them dead. D.E.A.D
Rage Ryders MC:
*P~ Prez Persona Enforcer
*VP~ VP Personal Enforcer
King: Deceased
Kid: *Patch
Ghost: Enforcer*P
Sniper: ex-VP
Ryder: *Patch
Tarzan: Enforcer VP
Justice: Enforcer
Sadistic: (Tic) VP
Tumbler: Road Cpt.
Taken by Chaos Page 12