Ariel: The Restored Edition

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Ariel: The Restored Edition Page 6

by Sylvia Plath


  O sister, mother, wife,

  Sweet Lethe is my life.

  I am never, never, never coming home!

  The Rival

  If the moon smiled, she would resemble you.

  You leave the same impression

  Of something beautiful, but annihilating.

  Both of you are great light borrowers.

  Her O-mouth grieves at the world; yours is unaffected,

  And your first gift is making stone out of everything.

  I wake to a mausoleum; you are here,

  Ticking your fingers on the marble table, looking for cigarettes,

  Spiteful as a woman, but not so nervous,

  And dying to say something unanswerable.

  The moon, too, abases her subjects,

  But in the daytime she is ridiculous.

  Your dissatisfactions, on the other hand,

  Arrive through the mailslot with loving regularity,

  White and blank, expansive as carbon monoxide.

  No day is safe from news of you,

  Walking about in Africa maybe, but thinking of me.

  Daddy

  You do not do, you do not do

  Any more, black shoe

  In which I have lived like a foot

  For thirty years, poor and white,

  Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

  Daddy, I have had to kill you.

  You died before I had time

  Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,

  Ghastly statue with one grey toe

  Big as a Frisco seal

  And a head in the freakish Atlantic

  Where it pours bean green over blue

  In the waters off beautiful Nauset.

  I used to pray to recover you.

  Ach, du.

  In the German tongue, in the Polish town

  Scraped flat by the roller

  Of wars, wars, wars.

  But the name of the town is common.

  My Polack friend

  Says there are a dozen or two.

  So I never could tell where you

  Put your foot, your root,

  I never could talk to you.

  The tongue stuck in my jaw.

  It stuck in a barb wire snare.

  Ich, ich, ich, ich.

  I could hardly speak.

  I thought every German was you.

  And the language obscene

  An engine, an engine

  Chuffing me off like a Jew.

  A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.

  I began to talk like a Jew.

  I think I may well be a Jew.

  The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna

  Are not very pure or true.

  With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck

  And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack

  I may be a bit of a Jew.

  I have always been scared of you,

  With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.

  And your neat moustache

  And your Aryan eye, bright blue.

  Panzer-man, panzer-man, o You

  Not God but a swastika

  So black no sky could squeak through.

  Every woman adores a Fascist,

  The boot in the face, the brute

  Brute heart of a brute like you.

  You stand at the blackboard, daddy,

  In the picture I have of you,

  A cleft in your chin instead of your foot

  But no less a devil for that, no not

  Any less the black man who

  Bit my pretty red heart in two.

  I was ten when they buried you.

  At twenty I tried to die

  And get back, back, back to you.

  I thought even the bones would do

  But they pulled me out of the sack,

  And they stuck me together with glue.

  And then I knew what to do.

  I made a model of you,

  A man in black with a Meinkampf look

  And a love of the rack and the screw.

  And I said I do, I do.

  So daddy, Im finally through.

  The black telephones off at the root,

  The voices just cant worm through.

  If Ive killed one man, Ive killed two

  The vampire who said he was you

  And drank my blood for a year,

  Seven years, if you want to know.

  Daddy, you can lie back now.

  Theres a stake in your fat black heart

  And the villagers never liked you.

  They are dancing and stamping on you.

  They always knew it was you.

  Daddy, daddy, you bastard, Im through.

  You're

  Clownlike, happiest on your hands,

  Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled,

  Gilled like a fish. A common-sense

  Thumbs-down on the dodo’s mode.

  Wrapped up in yourself like a spool,

  Trawling your dark as owls do.

  Mute as a turnip from the Fourth

  Of July to All Fools’ Day,

  O high-riser, my little loaf.

  Vague as fog and looked for like mail.

  Farther off than Australia.

  Bent-backed Atlas, our traveled prawn.

  Snug as a bud and at home

  Like a sprat in a pickle jug.

  A creel of eels, all ripples.

  Jumpy as a Mexican bean.

  Right, like a well-done sum.

  A clean slate, with your own face on.

  Fever 103°

  Pure? What does it mean?

  The tongues of hell

  Are dull, dull as the triple

  Tongues of dull, fat Cerberus

  Who wheezes at the gate. Incapable

  Of licking clean

  The aguey tendon, the sin, the sin.

  The tinder cries.

  The indelible smell

  Of a snuffed candle!

  Love, love, the low smokes roll

  From me like Isadora’s scarves, I’m in a fright

  One scarf will catch and anchor in the wheel.

  Such yellow sullen smokes

  Make their own element. They will not rise,

  But trundle round the globe

  Choking the aged and the meek,

  The weak

  Hothouse baby in its crib,

  The ghastly orchid

  Hanging its hanging garden in the air,

  Devilish leopard!

  Radiation turned it white

  And killed it in an hour.

  Greasing the bodies of adulterers

  Like Hiroshima ash and eating in.

  The sin. The sin.

  Darling, all night

  I have been flickering, off, on, off, on.

  The sheets grow heavy as a lecher’s kiss.

  Three days. Three nights.

  Lemon water, chicken

  Water, water make me retch.

  I am too pure for you or anyone.

  Your body

  Hurts me as the world hurts God. I am a lantern——

  My head a moon

  Of Japanese paper, my gold beaten skin

  Infinitely delicate and infinitely expensive.

  Does not my heat astound you. And my light.

  All by myself I am a huge camellia

  Glowing and coming and going, flush on flush.

  I think I am going up,

  I think I may rise——

  The beads of hot metal fly, and I, love, I

  Am a pure acetylene

  Virgin

  Attended by roses,

  By kisses, by cherubim,

  By whatever these pink things mean.

  Not you, nor him

  Nor him, nor him

  (My selves dissolving, old whore petticoats)——

  To Paradise.

  The Bee Meeting

  Who are these people at the bridge to meet me? They are the villagers——

&nb
sp; The rector, the midwife, the sexton, the agent for bees.

  In my sleeveless summery dress I have no protection,

  And they are all gloved and covered, why did nobody tell me?

  They are smiling and taking out veils tacked to ancient hats.

  I am nude as a chicken neck, does nobody love me?

  Yes, here is the secretary of bees with her white shop smock,

  Buttoning the cuffs at my wrists and the slit from my neck to my knees.

  Now I am milkweed silk, the bees will not notice.

  They will not smell my fear, my fear, my fear.

  Which is the rector now, is it that man in black?

  Which is the midwife, is that her blue coat?

  Everybody is nodding a square black head, they are knights in visors,

  Breastplates of cheesecloth knotted under the armpits.

  Their smiles and their voices are changing. I am led through a beanfield,

  Strips of tinfoil winking like people,

  Feather dusters fanning their hands in a sea of bean flowers,

  Creamy bean flowers with black eyes and leaves like bored hearts.

  Is it blood clots the tendrils are dragging up that string?

  No, no, it is scarlet flowers that will one day be edible.

  Now they are giving me a fashionable white straw Italian hat

  And a black veil that molds to my face, they are making me one of them.

  They are leading me to the shorn grove, the circle of hives.

  Is it the hawthorn that smells so sick?

  The barren body of hawthorn, etherizing its children.

  Is it some operation that is taking place?

  It is the surgeon my neighbors are waiting for,

  This apparition in a green helmet,

  Shining gloves and white suit.

  Is it the butcher, the grocer, the postman, someone I know?

  I cannot run, I am rooted, and the gorse hurts me

  With its yellow purses, its spiky armory.

  I could not run without having to run forever.

  The white hive is snug as a virgin,

  Sealing off her brood cells, her honey, and quietly humming.

  Smoke rolls and scarves in the grove.

  The mind of the hive thinks this is the end of everything.

  Here they come, the outriders, on their hysterical elastics.

  If I stand very still, they will think I am cow parsley,

  A gullible head untouched by their animosity,

  Not even nodding, a personage in a hedgerow.

  The villagers open the chambers, they are hunting the queen.

  Is she hiding, is she eating honey? She is very clever.

  She is old, old, old, she must live another year, and she knows it.

  While in their fingerjoint cells the new virgins

  Dream of a duel they will win inevitably,

  A curtain of wax dividing them from the bride flight,

  The upflight of the murderess into a heaven that loves her.

  The villagers are moving the virgins, there will be no killing.

  The old queen does not show herself, is she so ungrateful?

  I am exhausted, I am exhausted——

  Pillar of white in a blackout of knives.

  I am the magician’s girl who does not flinch.

  The villagers are untying their disguises, they are shaking hands.

  Whose is that long white box in the grove, what have they accomplished, why am I cold.

  The Arrival of the Bee Box

  I ordered this, this clean wood box

  Square as a chair and almost too heavy to lift.

  I would say it was the coffin of a midget

  Or a square baby

  Were there not such a din in it.

  The box is locked, it is dangerous.

  I have to live with it overnight

  And I cant keep away from it.

  There are no windows, so I cant see what is in there.

  There is only a little grid, no exit.

  I put my eye to the grid.

  It is dark, dark,

  With the swarmy feeling of African hands

  Minute and shrunk for export,

  Black on black, angrily clambering.

  How can I let them out?

  It is the noise that appals me most of all,

  The unintelligible syllables.

  It is like a Roman mob,

  Small, taken one by one, but my god, together!

  I lay my ear to furious Latin.

  I am not a Caesar.

  I have simply ordered a box of maniacs.

  They can be sent back.

  They can die, I need feed them nothing, I am the owner.

  I wonder how hungry they are.

  I wonder if they would forget me

  If I just undid the locks and stood back and turned into a tree.

  There is the laburnum, its blond colonnades,

  And the petticoats of the cherry.

  They might ignore me immediately

  In my moon suit and funeral veil.

  I am no source of honey

  So why should they turn on me?

  Tomorrow I will be sweet God, I will set them free.

  The box is only temporary.

  Stings

  Bare-handed, I hand the combs.

  The man in white smiles, bare-handed,

  Our cheesecloth gauntlets neat and sweet,

  The throats of our wrists brave lilies.

  He and I

  Have a thousand clean cells between us,

  Eight combs of yellow cups,

  And the hive itself a teacup,

  White with pink flowers on it.

  With excessive love I enameled it

  Thinking Sweetness, sweetness.

  Brood cells grey as the fossils of shells

  Terrify me, they seem so old.

  What am I buying, wormy mahogany?

  Is there any queen at all in it?

  If there is, she is old,

  Her wings torn shawls, her long body

  Rubbed of its plush

  Poor and bare and unqueenly and even shameful.

  I stand in a column

  Of winged, unmiraculous women,

  Honey-drudgers.

  I am no drudge

  Though for years I have eaten dust

  And dried plates with my dense hair.

  And seen my strangeness evaporate,

  Blue dew from dangerous skin.

  Will they hate me,

  These women who only scurry,

  Whose news is the open cherry, the open clover?

  It is almost over.

  I am in control.

  Here is my honey-machine,

  It will work without thinking,

  Opening, in spring, like an industrious virgin

  To scour the creaming crests

  As the moon, for its ivory powders, scours the sea.

  A third person is watching.

  He has nothing to do with the bee-seller or with me.

  Now he is gone

  In eight great bounds, a great scapegoat.

  Here is his slipper, here is another,

  And here the square of white linen

  He wore instead of a hat.

  He was sweet,

  The sweat of his efforts a rain

  Tugging the world to fruit.

  The bees found him out,

  Molding onto his lips like lies,

  Complicating his features.

  They thought death was worth it, but I

  Have a self to recover, a queen.

  Is she dead, is she sleeping?

  Where has she been,

  With her lion-red body, her wings of glass?

  Now she is flying

  More terrible than she ever was, red

  Scar in the sky, red comet

  Over the engine that killed her

  The mausoleum, the wax house.

  Wintering
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  This is the easy time, there is nothing doing.

  I have whirled the midwifes extractor,

  I have my honey,

  Six jars of it,

  Six cats eyes in the wine cellar,

  Wintering in a dark without window

  At the heart of the house

  Next to the last tenants rancid jam

  And the bottles of empty glitters

  Sir So-and-sos gin.

  This is the room I have never been in.

  This is the room I could never breathe in.

  The black bunched in there like a bat,

  No light

 

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