Fall in Love

by Anthology

  “Very good,” she said and headed out of the room.

  “Mason, Mason! Sit down. Come play with me,” Olivia said.

  “No. Let’s play war. I don’t want to play with stupid dolls,” countered Justin.

  Mason didn’t seem fazed by their bickering in the slightest. “Listen, you two. We’ll play with Olivia’s dolls first but we’ll make sure to play war for a bit before I have to leave. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Justin said petulantly.

  I was surprised to feel a tiny hand grab mine. Olivia was tugging me toward the floor where she had a collection of what I was pretty sure was American Girls laid out.

  “Come on, Ellie. I’ll let you play with my new one if you want.”

  “Wow. That’s really nice of you, Olivia.”

  “Here,” she said after we’d all sat on the ground, and pushed a blond-haired blue-eyed doll my way. No wonder every girl wanted to have blond hair and blue eyes; we were practically conditioned since birth to think it was the ideal.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Mason grabbed a doll as did Justin, although very begrudgingly.

  Olivia had appointed herself the mommy and the rest of us played her babies. We’d all been playing the roles that Olivia had assigned us for a while when she blindsided me.

  “Are you Mason’s girlfriend?” she asked.

  I felt the heat hit my cheeks and I’m pretty sure my eyes probably looked about ready to bug out of my head. I didn’t know what to say so I looked to Mason for help.

  He was chuckling softly but after a couple of seconds took enough pity on me to answer his sister’s question.

  “Ellie isn’t my girlfriend, Olivia.”

  “How come?” she asked innocently.

  God, this kid was cute but she was killing me.

  “We only just met a little while ago.”

  “But you must like her if you brought her here. Do you want her to be your girlfriend?”

  I seriously wanted to crawl up the chimney and disappear from sight. Lately my life seemed to be one long string of embarrassing situations after another.

  Mason smirked at me and then addressed his sister. “Olivia, it’s not polite to ask questions like that.”

  “How come?”

  “Because you’re making Ellie uncomfortable.”

  I really had no idea how he felt about me. He’d shown up at my house earlier today apparently to tell me we were still going to see each other but we’d never finished that conversation. I figured the fact that he was avoiding his sister’s question gave me the answer. Even though I’d been the one to tell him we couldn’t see each other just days ago, it still stung to know that he felt nothing for me beyond a casual acquaintance.

  “I think it’s time to play war now isn’t it?” I said wanting to get off this topic of conversation.

  “Yay!” Justin yelled and got up to run across the room to pick up a play sword and shield. “I get Ellie on my team.”

  Mason clutched his heart in mock pain. “Buddy, I’ve been replaced so easily?”

  Justin just shrugged. “She’s prettier than you are.”

  Mason chuckled. “I’ll give you that. She sure is.”

  That gave me a warm feeling. I smiled and walked over to Justin who was now holding a play bow and arrow.

  “Here. You can use this,” he said.

  “Thanks, kiddo.” I took the toys from him and felt something hit me in the back.

  I turned and saw a foam grenade on the floor next to my foot. Justin grabbed my hand and raced to jump over the back of the couch. I followed and we crouched down behind it. I heard Mason make a pretend exploding sound from the other side of the room.

  Justin turned to me, the excitement practically oozing out of him. “That was close. Come on, Ellie. Let’s sneak around the other side and ambush them.”

  We eventually called a truce after it was clear there would be no real winner. Mason was like a big kid himself. It was a nice change from the distant, cold Mason I’d seen this morning around his mom.

  We stood at the front door saying good-bye, Olivia wrapped around my legs.

  “It was nice to meet you,” she said looking up at me with those eyes that reminded me so much of Mason’s.

  “It was nice meeting you, too. I had a lot of fun playing with you guys.” I pulled Justin in for a hug, as well, which he let me do.

  When the hugs were over Olivia pulled away and asked, “Will you be back again soon?”

  Left speechless again at the hands of his sister and unsure what to say I looked to Mason for help.

  He saved me by saying, “Come here, you two, and give me a hug before we’re off.”

  They wrapped themselves around Mason, squeezing hard. I could tell they were sad to see him go. Justin’s face and demeanor suddenly turned anxious.

  “Is Mom really okay?” he asked.

  Mason seemed to be a bit taken back by the question and had to compose himself for a minute. That cold veneer was back. “Mom will be just fine. She should be home any minute. Don’t you worry.”

  “Okay,” Justin said, but I sensed he understood there was more going on than Mason was telling him.

  “All right, you two, we gotta go. You guys be good for Mom today. She’s probably still not feeling that great.”

  The kids called after us as we made our way to the car, yelling their goodbyes again. I could tell they loved Mason very much. He must still be a doting brother even if he didn’t live with them because there was definitely a little hero worship going on. I was starting to understand exactly why.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  We were back on the plane Mason had chartered, somewhere in the air between Texas and Virginia. It was late evening but we managed to get a meal on the plane. Not crappy airline food either. It goes without saying that I’d never been on a private plane, but I was still surprised by the quality of our meal. We’d had chicken served over a pesto pasta and it was as good as I’d had in any restaurant. Probably better than most of the places I frequented, if I was honest.

  Mason had been quiet since we’d left his mom’s house so I was surprised when he said, “Will you come back to my place when we land?”

  I’d been getting more of a piss-off-and-leave-me-alone vibe, than a please-spend-more-time-with-me one, but nevertheless I was concerned about him. He’d been quietly brooding for hours.

  “Sure. If you want,” I said.

  He looked up from his plate where he was cutting a piece of chicken. “Do you want?” he said, eyebrows arching.

  It was a simple enough question but it was a loaded one.

  “Yes,” I said simply.

  He didn’t say anything and went back to cutting his meat. A few minutes later he was done eating, seat reclined, and looking out of the window with vacant eyes. I wanted to say something to comfort him but I didn’t know what. I didn’t know him well enough to know if this was his usual reaction to dealing with his mother, or if it was something more than that. Did he like to talk when he was upset, or did he like to be left alone?

  His low voice brought me out of my thoughts. “We’ll get you a bathing suit at the airport so we can swim when we get back to the house.”

  It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t even looking at me when he said it so I didn’t bother responding.

  After we landed we ducked into the airport gift shop. Mason had put on a baseball hat, reflective sunglasses and kept his head down as we made our way through the store. I quickly picked out a light blue bikini. It was a little skimpier than I’d normally wear but there hadn’t been a huge selection to choose from. It was either this or a one piece mid-aged mom bathing suit with a built-in skirt at the bottom. I opted for slutty over matronly given the company.

  Mason still hadn’t said much and I told myself it was because he was trying to lay low so no one would recognize him but I could tell there was something more. This was a side to him I hadn’t seen. He’d always looked intense to me, now his mood m
atched my original assessment of his looks. I wasn’t sure what to make of it but I was hopeful that the other Mason would make an appearance soon. I wasn’t sure I was a fan of this one.

  *****

  I felt like an asshole. I’d barely spoken to Ellie since we’d left my mom’s place and she certainly didn’t deserve my moodiness. She’d been supportive and understanding the whole time we were in Texas. When she’d first offered to come along I’d felt an immediate sense of relief at not having to deal with the situation on my own as I had for so many years.

  Once we’d left to head back to the plane I felt only extreme self-loathing and anger that I’d let her see that side of my life. If she’d looked me up on the internet she’d already know I had a recovering addict for a mother, but the spin my manager had put on it for the media and the reality of the situation couldn’t be more different.

  The press had been led to believe that I was supportive of my mom’s recovery and understood that her addiction was a disease…blah fucking blah, total bullshit. I was pissed that she still couldn’t get her act together. I may support her financially but there was no part of me that understood how she could do that to Justin and Olivia. She’d already screwed up royally in raising me but she had a chance to do it over and do it right this time. The fact that she couldn’t stop her hand from raising that glass to her mouth, or the joint or whatever vice she was nurturing at the moment filled me with such rage I found it hard to contain.

  Which is why I didn’t say much to Ellie. I was afraid I’d be unable to control myself. For years, when it came to my mother, I’d been afraid to let even an ounce of emotion through the dam I’d built in front of my feelings. If I let even the smallest crack form I feared the whole thing would come crashing down, destroying everything in its wake.

  Ellie was still in the bathroom changing into her swimsuit when I came out of the bedroom so I made my way outside. I stopped in the great room to turn on the lighting built into the decking and the lights in the pool.

  I dove into the deep end of the pool and swam under water to the shallow end where I stood up and wiped the water out of my eyes.

  God. Damn.

  Ellie stood ankle deep on the pool stairs in a light blue bikini. You know the kind where the top half is only two triangles covering the boobs? Even in my shitty mood it was impossible not to notice the way her tits looked as if they were begging to be touched. Her flat stomach was on display and I could see now that she had a belly button ring. The soft amber light from the pool gave her skin a gold glow.

  Asshole. Here I was gawking at her when she probably didn’t want anything to do with me. She’d likely only come back here because she felt sorry for me. Attempting to be at least a half decent human being I moved my gaze up her body to her face.

  I stifled a laugh. Instead of looking appalled at my blatant appreciation for her body she was returning the favour. Her wide eyes darted around my chest, abs and biceps and I could see she held her breath.

  I broke the spell. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it up without wanting to strip her clothes off and pound into her.

  “Thanks for coming with me today. I’m sorry you had to deal with all that crap.”

  She made her way down to the bottom of the steps.

  “I was happy to do it. I’m glad I was there.”

  I let out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m sure. It’s not your problem. I shouldn’t have let you come. I’m sorry.”

  Her forehead creased. “I offered. I am glad I was there. I enjoyed meeting your brother and sister.”

  “Yeah, they’re great. The rest I’m sure you could have done without.”

  She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I won’t lie and say I was entirely comfortable.”

  “Exactly. See…shit. If you don’t want to be here, Ellie, I can take you home.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Why would you want to be here now that you’ve seen how fucked up my family is and the shit I have to deal with?”

  “Mason—”

  “You have no idea what it was like growing up with a mother like that.”

  She stood silent for a moment and she looked almost…angry. What the hell? Finally she spoke.

  “You think you’re the only one who didn’t have the perfect life growing up? You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like growing up with an addict for a mother. But I do have some experience growing up with a mom who has issues.”

  Tears had pooled in the corner of her eyes, and she turned to make her way back up the stairs. I felt like a dick. Again. I wasn’t trying to upset her but I’d gone and done just that.

  “Ellie, wait.” She stopped halfway out of the pool.

  “I’m sorry. I know I’m not the only one in the world who’s had a shit deal.”

  She turned back around. Her look was wary.

  “What was it like? Growing up?” I asked.

  She came back down the steps and moved into the corner.

  “My mom is what you’d call co-dependent. She can’t function without a man in her life. She’s always been that way. I told you I don’t know my father. Growing up, the men in her life would dote on me. Looking back I can see that it was only to win my mom’s affections. I was young and without a dad of my own so I’d look up to them as a father figure, then one day they’d be gone from our lives without warning. She’d be on the hunt for the next love of her life and in would come my new daddy. There was no stability. No way for me to feel secure that if life was good today, it would still be good tomorrow.”

  She paused but I didn’t interrupt her. The look on her face said she was a million miles away, deep in her memories.

  “The worst part was watching her change herself into whoever she thought they’d want her to be. If a guy was conservative, she was conservative. If he was wild, she was wild. I don’t even think she knows who she is anymore she’s been pretending so long. It always seemed so degrading to me.”

  “That’s rough,” I said.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom. That’s why it’s so hard to sit by and watch.”

  “You don’t have to explain it to me, Ellie. I understand perfectly what you mean.”

  “I suppose if anyone would, it’d be you. What was it like for you? Growing up?”

  “I grew up poor. In a trailer park. I know, cue the violins. My mom would go on benders and leave me for days at a time. If I was lucky a neighbor would notice before I got too hungry and look out for me until she came back. She used to have men come by the trailer and she’d turn the TV on really loud for me to watch. She told me they were going to go visit together in her bedroom. When I was small I always hated when they came because after they’d leave she’d have cash to burn and that either meant a trip to the liquor store or a dealer’s house. I only realized as I got older that she was whoring herself to feed her habit.”

  Ellie brought her hands up to cover her mouth. “Oh, Mason.”

  “Anyway, I’m sure you could tell today that my mom and I have our issues. I wanted to explain why so you didn’t think I was completely heartless.”

  “I wouldn’t think that. Especially after seeing you with your brother and sister,” she said in a soft voice.

  “Those two are the only reasons I have anything to do with her still. I can’t stomach the thought of them having to deal with any of the bullshit I had to growing up. Up until this week my mom had been sober since I got her into a great facility. That was five years ago.”

  “You’re an amazing brother. And son.”

  Her words felt like they were ripping open an old wound. I’d carried so much rage and hostility toward my mother for so long, I couldn’t comprehend how Ellie could think I was a good son.

  “You don’t have to say that.”

  “I know I don’t but it’s true. How many sons do you think would stick by a mom who’d done all that? A lot of people with your money would walk away and never look back. Or maybe just send
money and feel like they’d done enough to help. That’s obviously not the case with you.”

  “I told you…it’s not for her.”

  “You can tell yourself that, Mason, but I saw the look on your face when you saw her today. You were in pain. You were concerned for her.”

  I couldn’t deny it. It’d been years since I’d seen her like that and it had brought me back to when I was young. I refused to let my emotions get involved anymore where my mom was concerned though. There was only so many times you could allow someone to tear you apart emotionally like that.

  “I’ve been protecting them from her since they were born. It was easy when they were younger but they’re older now and if she relapses...”

  “Hopefully she’ll get the help she needs.”

  “Let’s not talk about this anymore. We never got to finish our conversation at your place earlier.”

  Ellie looked away from me and down at the water. I didn’t take it as a good sign.

  “I like you, Mason. I just—”

  “I like you, too. That’s all that matters then.”

  “Wait. Let me finish.” She took a deep breath and soldiered on. “I’m sure you can understand why I have no desire to put my life in the spotlight any more than it’s already been lately.”

  I nodded.

  “I’ve decided I do like you and we should keep seeing each other while you’re in town.”

  I took a step toward her. She put a hand up to signal me to stop.

  “That said, I want to try and keep it on the down low. I’ll deal with the fallout, if there is any, but the less the better for me.”

  I smiled. I didn’t understand why the hell she’d want to associate with me after what she’d seen of my life today, but I wasn’t stupid enough to question it.

  “Can I kiss you now?” I asked.

  Her tongue darted across her bottom lip and she nodded her head. This day just got a whole lot better.