Promise Me Love (Harlequin Treasury 1990's)

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘So that’s it, is it? The final chapter? You refuse to believe what I am trying to explain to you, so conveniently decide that it’s the end?’ He leaned closer, his eyes glittering dangerously as he stared into her face. ‘Now who’s telling part of the truth, Beth?’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean.’ She edged over in her seat, disturbed by the intensity of his gaze.

  ‘Don’t you?’ He captured her chin, tilting her face so that she was forced to suffer the icy scrutiny. ‘Maybe tonight is just the moment you’ve been waiting for, a convenient way of getting yourself out of this obviously unwanted marriage in a fashion that means you can avoid any of the blame? What are you planning on doing now, Beth? Contacting Andrew again and resuming your affair with him? Without the encumbrance of the baby, I’m sure he would be more than willing to agree!’

  It was so far from the truth that she could have wept. She’d barely spared Andrew a thought for days now. He was from her past and the last thing she ever wanted was to see him again. Not because she felt bitter about how he had treated her, but because he no longer meant anything to her. David was all she had wanted in her future; David was all she would ever want, but it seemed it wasn’t to be. Maybe the best way to end this pain which was tearing her apart was by using the solution he had offered to her.

  ‘Yes. That’s right. I’m going to contact him again and see if we can pick up where we left off! You aren’t the only one who can make plans, David!’

  His fingers gripped her chin for a moment, so hard that she had to bite her lips to stop herself crying out. For a silent second, he stared at her, then let her go, starting the car and pulling away from the kerb with a harsh squeal of tyres. Beth sat back in her seat, trembling all over from that fleeting look which had seemed to cut straight to her heart. David was the one who had betrayed her trust; so why did she feel so guilty, as though she was the one who had betrayed him?

  They drove back to town in total silence until David stopped the car in the driveway of the flats, his voice hard when he spoke. ‘You do have your key?’

  Beth shook her head, not trusting herself not to start crying. ‘It’s in my coat back at Maggie’s. I...I didn’t have chance to get it.’

  He said nothing, merely switched off the engine and unfastened his key from the ring and held it out to her. ‘You’d better use this, then, to let yourself in.’

  ‘Aren’t you coming in, then?’ She searched his face, desperate even now to see something that would make her change her mind and realise that she’d made a dreadful mistake, but the mask he wore so often was firmly back in place.

  ‘No. I shall have to go back. There are things that need sorting out and now is the time to do it.’ He slid the key back into the ignition and started the engine again, turning to look at her, and Beth felt her heart contract. Sitting there with him, his face shadowed by the dim glow from the dashboard, it was hard not to imagine that tonight had all been some horrible dream. He looked the way he always did, the way she pictured him whenever she closed her eyes, but the outward image belied the true character of the man.

  ‘You go on inside, Beth. I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up for me.’

  She nodded and climbed out of the car, watching until the rear lights disappeared, then took a slow, steadying breath as she walked towards the door. It was over. Now all that was left was to tidy up any loose ends. When he got back she would be gone.

  CHAPTER TEN

  THE sky was leaden, huge black clouds oozing over the skyline, threatening another downpour. Beth drew her coat collar tightly under her chin and hurried along the street, anxious to get into work before the rain set in. It was only a short walk from the drab little room she rented to the estate agent’s office where she worked, but she was already cold, her fingers numb from the icy wind. Winter had arrived with a vengeance, bleak and grey, matching the bleakness in her heart.

  The office was quiet that morning, just a few telephone enquiries concerning property which had been viewed at the weekend. Beth handled what enquiries she could, then passed the rest on to her boss and carried on with typing out the details of a house that was to be put on the market. A lot of the work she did was boringly repetitive, but it was enough for her to manage, enough to pay the rent on the room. Most of the time she felt as though she was existing in some kind of limbo, going through the motions of living a life which held no interest for her any longer. All the joy and colour of truly living had died that night she’d learned how David had used her.

  Her eyes clouded for a second, the words blurring on the page, and she took a slow, deep breath as she waited for the agony to pass as she knew it would. She tried to stop herself from thinking about David, but just sometimes a thought would slide unbidden into her mind, a thought so rawly painful that it left her shaking. They said time healed, but several months had passed and the wounds were still raw and open. It would take more than time to wipe David from her mind and from her heart.

  The door opened, sending a flurry of cold air across the room to where she sat behind the desk. Beth looked up from her work, fixing a smile to her mouth, then felt her stomach lurch when she recognised the couple who had come in.

  ‘Beth! Oh, Beth, I don’t believe it’s you at last. We’ve looked everywhere for you and now here you are!’ Maggie’s face was alight with joy, her green eyes gleaming with evident relief as she ran across the room and caught Beth’s cold hands in hers. For a moment Beth sat still, stunned by the unexpected meeting, then slowly drew away.

  ‘Hello, Maggie. How are you?’

  ‘Never mind about me, it’s you we want to hear about! We almost tore this city apart trying to find where you’d gone to after you left the flat!’

  Beth looked away from the glittering green gaze which held a concern she didn’t want to see. She didn’t want anything from anyone now. She wanted to live her life on her own, locked into this state of limbo. It hurt far less this way. ‘There was no reason for me to stay. You must know that.’

  ‘But why just disappear? You must have realised how concerned we would all be after what happened. David has been half out of his mind with worry, wondering what had happened to you.’

  David. The name slid past the barriers she’d tried so hard to erect and she drew in a ragged little breath. ‘I’m sure David isn’t the least worried about what happens to me. I’m no longer his concern.’

  ‘You’re wrong! You must see him, Beth, speak to him, try to sort this out. He—’

  ‘I think that is Beth’s decision, Maggie.’ Matthew’s voice was stern as he came to stand beside his wife, but Maggie didn’t seem at all convinced.

  ‘Maybe it is. But I’m not wholly certain that she’s capable of making the right decision!’

  ‘And this isn’t the time nor the place to discuss it.’ He took her arm, steering her away from Beth’s desk towards the door which separated the showroom from the offices. ‘We have an appointment to keep, Maggie. Let’s get that over and done with first and then see what can be done to sort this mess out.’ His tone brooked no argument, his face set into uncompromising lines as he ushered Maggie ahead of him through the door. He paused to glance back at where Beth was sitting ashen-faced. ‘She is right, though, Beth. You have to see David and try to talk this through. I made a mistake a few years back by being stubborn, which almost cost me Maggie. Don’t let that happen to you and David. Pride is a cold and lonely companion, Beth.’

  The door swung to and Beth sank back in the chair, feeling her heart thumping in a rhythm that made her feel sick. She didn’t want to try to sort things out by seeing David. She wanted to be left alone and not be reminded of all she’d lost. Nothing that either Maggie or Matthew could say would change what had happened and the way that David had used her. The rift between them now was far too great to be healed by words.

  She stood up abruptly, snatching her bag from the drawer. It was almost lunchtime so she would leave the office and pray that they were gone by the time she g
ot back. She couldn’t face a repeat of Maggie’s well-meaning attempts to help, especially in view of the fact that Maggie was at the very heart of what had caused all the trouble.

  She walked round for well over an hour, wandering aimlessly along the crowded streets until finally she was forced to go back. Her boss would take a very dim view of her leaving early and then being late back. She couldn’t afford to jeopardise this job when she needed it so much to support herself. In the first couple of weeks after she’d left David she’d been forced through necessity to use some of the money he had paid her, but since she’d got this job she hadn’t touched another penny. She couldn’t bear the thought of taking anything that had been his.

  The office was empty when she got back into work and she settled down at her desk with a feeling of relief. It had been such a shock seeing them so unexpectedly, but hopefully that would be the end of it. Her marriage to David was over and once he arranged the divorce, as he surely would soon, then that would be that. There would be no reason for them to meet again.

  She was cold and wet by the time she arrived home. The rain had come down as it had been threatening to do all day, heavy deluges of water swirling across the pavements. Beth slid her key into the front door and let herself into the house, sighing as she shook the water from her coat. The house was divided into a dozen rooms and as she climbed the stairs she could hear the ever-present sound of other tenants’ televisions, smell the stale, lingering odour of food that always seemed to hang in the air.

  Reaching the third-floor landing, she dug into her pocket for her key, then jumped when she heard a man’s voice saying her name. She spun round at once, her face ashen as she recognised David standing in the shadows.

  ‘What do you want?’ There was scant politeness in the abrupt question and his face tightened before he moved towards her across the narrow hall.

  ‘To speak to you, of course.’

  ‘I have nothing I want to say to you, not now, not ever!’ She was holding the key so tightly that it bit into her fingers, but she welcomed the pain to help her keep a grip on her control. ‘I suppose Maggie sent you. It’s just a pity that she doesn’t confine her interest to people who would welcome it!’

  He shook his head, a strange expression flashing across his face. ‘She didn’t tell me that she’d seen you. It was Matthew who telephoned me.’

  ‘Oh.’ That surprised her so that for a moment she faltered before gathering herself once more. ‘Then I’m afraid he had a wasted phone call. Goodbye, David.’

  She jammed the key into the lock, her hand shaking so hard that she couldn’t seem to turn it. David pushed her hand aside and took hold of the key to unlock the door then handed it back to her, his face set and uncompromising. ‘We have to talk, Beth. There’s no point in being ridiculous about this. Surely we can act like two sensible adults for a few minutes while we sort this out?’

  ‘Talk? About what? What I heard at Maggie’s house that night, the truth that you had been keeping hidden from me so successfully? Forget it, David. You and I have done all the talking we are ever going to do. Frankly, you made yourself more than plain that night!’ There was no disguising the raw agony in her voice as the barriers started to fall one by one, leaving her defenceless against the pain.

  ‘You can’t still believe that I tricked you, Beth? That the whole of our marriage was set up for one reason and one alone, so that I could make a play for Maggie? Come on, where’s your common sense? You know that isn’t true!’

  Anger ran through his voice, but Beth ignored it, caught up in the spiral of her misery. ‘I know what I heard!’

  ‘Do you indeed?’ He swore softly, elbowing the door open to push her inside the room. Beth backed away from him, fear running through her when she saw the naked fury on his face. He skimmed a glance around the threadbare room, distaste showing briefly in his eyes before he looked coldly back at her. ‘I find it hard to believe that you prefer this to the comfort of the flat. What have you been trying to achieve by hiding out here, Beth? Were you hoping to punish me in some way for those supposed misdeeds I’ve perpetrated?’ He laughed harshly. ‘Seems to me that the only person who’s been suffering is you, living here in this...this hovel when you could have been living in luxury and comfort at the flat!’

  His cruel assessment of her home stung and she glared back at him, no longer afraid. ‘This “hovel”, as you call it, is my home, David. If you don’t like it then you can always leave. In fact, I would be delighted if you would do so right now!’

  She moved towards the door, but he stopped her as she drew level with him, his hand closing around the slender bones in her wrist. ‘I shall leave when I am good and ready to and not before. I didn’t come here tonight to play more silly games with you. I came to sort this situation out once and for all.’

  ‘There is nothing to sort out.’ She wrenched her hand away, rubbing her skin where his fingers had left an imprint. ‘You used me as a cover to restart your affair with Maggie. That’s all there is to it, and nothing...not one single word...will make me believe any differently.’

  ‘Why? Why won’t you at least spare a few minutes to hear me out? Afraid that you might start to doubt what you claim to believe? Afraid that your excuse for leaving me might be damaged in some way?’ He looked around himself, scorn evident in the set line of his law. ‘It surprises me that Andrew lets you live here. Doesn’t he find such humble surroundings somewhat daunting to his ardour? After all, he can’t take you home, can he? Not when his wife is there.’

  The cruelly mocking words sent caution winging out of the window. ‘Andrew has nothing to do with where I live. He’s never been here and I have absolutely no intention of inviting him!’

  His expression altered subtly, his eyes gleaming in a way that made her immediately regret her impetuous statement. ‘Haven’t you indeed? Yet you led me to believe that was your intention, that you were going to contact him again and pick up where you left off? What went wrong, Beth? Wasn’t he willing...or was that all a pack of lies?’

  The way he was watching her was making her nervous, making the blood rush to her head, making her skin prickle in a silent warning. In her heart she knew she should try to calm down and keep this meeting as low-key as possible, but it was impossible now that David had loosed all these emotions inside her. For all these weeks she’d lived in that strange state of limbo and now she was coming abruptly out of the trance. ‘Yes! It was all lies...every bit of it. I couldn’t give a damn if I never saw Andrew ever again. He means nothing to me, David Kane, absolutely nothing!’

  ‘Is that right? Then why did you tell me all those lies, Beth?’ His voice was soft all of a sudden, so soft that it shocked her when what she’d expected had been anger. She started nervously, licking her dry lips as she stared back at him, trying to understand this sudden shift in attitude, and felt heat scorch her face when she saw the sensuous gleam in his eyes as they rested on her mouth. Suddenly the tension in the room took on a new form, a form that scared her more than what had been between them before. She didn’t want to look at David and see that he wanted her; she didn’t want to be reminded of how much she had once wanted him! She loved him so much and it would be so easy to let him talk and persuade her in whatever direction he wanted her to go. But she’d been used once by him and she wouldn’t be used again.

  ‘It doesn’t matter what I said or why, David. Just tell me why you came here tonight.’

  ‘Just to talk to you. To explain again what you overheard and how wrong you were in your assumptions of what went on. Would it help convince you any, Beth, if I told you that Matthew and I are now on speaking terms?’ He saw her surprise and smiled almost bitterly. ‘Oh, I’m not going to lie and say that we are close. We shall never be that, but, there again, we never were that close, even as children. But at least we can stay in the same room and hold a civilised conversation and the reason for this is that Matthew has finally admitted that he was wrong. If he can accept the truth, Beth, the
n why can’t you?’

  Could she? Could she wipe away all the doubts which filled her mind, accept that David had never had an affair with Maggie? It would take strength to do that, possibly more strength than she possessed. Could David give her that strength? Possibly.

  ‘Why does it matter to you that I should accept it? What do you want with me, David? If you wanted to see for yourself that I’m all right then you’ve achieved that much. What else did you come here for?’

  ‘To ask you to come back with me, Beth.’

  ‘Why?’ Her voice was a tiny whisper, choked by the sudden flare of hope that he might give her the answer she wanted to hear, the only answer that would make her agree.

  ‘Because we could still have a good life together. To just stand aside and let that all be ruined over a silly misunderstanding seems little short of a crime to me. So, what do you say, Beth? Will you try again to make our marriage work?’

  ‘No!’ Hope had stolen her voice; disappointment and a grief so sharp that it cut into her heart turned the answer into a total refusal that he must have known immediately was final. His face darkened and he turned away, wrenching open the door and walking out without another word. Beth watched him go as tears slid down her cheeks, knowing that there would never be another chance. It was such a wicked waste, such a cruel, deliberate blow from fate to have given her that one too brief moment of hope then snatch it away.

  If David had just said that he loved her she would have accepted there and then, without a thought for what had happened in the past, just joy for what would happen in the future.

  * * *

  ‘You little monkey. Look at this mess!’ Maggie picked up the spilled dish of food and glared at her smiling little daughter. ‘And don’t think that you can get round me like that, young lady!’