“Are you saying you want to live my way so I can stay strong and in control?”
She nodded, and it made him sick. This strong woman was willing to let herself be treated in a way which was beneath her for him and he was ashamed of himself. For the first time in a long time, he was not satisfied with the man he was.
Her eyes met his.
“I want you to make the dom/sub contract, Arsen. I’m ready and willing to live that way with you. I trust you.”
“You aren’t ready and frankly, I doubt you’ll ever be.” Arsen let her go and poured shampoo in his hand and started washing his hair. His heart was pounding in his chest.
The truth was he longed to take her to the BDSM club, Fierce. He knew all the men would be envious of his gorgeous find. He envisioned her on her hands and knees, his collar around her long and slender throat. His leash holding her, telling all the others in the club she was his, and he was her master.
“Arsen, what’s wrong? Why do you think I’m not ready?” She moved to be in front of him. “You don’t want me like that?”
“You have no idea of what you’re in for, Steele. Tell me, has it ever been a fantasy of yours to crawl around on your hands and knees at the end of a leash I’ll hold?” His eyebrows quirked up, and he grinned.
“I could do it for you,” she said and ran her finger in the lines of his chiseled abs. “I could do anything for you, Arsen.”
He rinsed his hair then took her hand from him.
“This wouldn’t be allowed. You’d touch me only when I allowed. You’d be expected to do so much more as a sub. My subs catered to me. They washed my hair and trimmed my nails. They allowed me to take them whenever and where ever I wanted. That included in front of people.”
He saw Steele take in a sharp breath. “Really? Where? Those clubs?”
“Clubs, elevators, semi-secluded booths in restaurants. Where ever whenever. Think you could do that?” He smiled at her again and ran his hand over her shoulder.
Steele wasn’t answering right away, and he laughed.
“Like I said, it’s not a thing you’re ready for and may never be. It’s something I’m coming to terms with.”
“You certainly have done a lot you in your life, haven’t you?” Steele asked as she shuddered.
Arsen ran his hands up and down her arms.
“I have. More than most and you’d be smart to run away from me, Steele. Not that I’ll let you, but it would be the smart thing for you to do.”
“You choked those girls. Why’d they want you to do that? I actually have a fear of being choked to death,” she said as he turned her around and started shampooing her long, dark hair.
“Why’s that?” he asked as he massaged in the honeysuckle scented shampoo he’d picked up just for her.
“A case I saw played out on television when I was fifteen. A girl came up missing and when they found her months later, they found out she’d been strangled. I looked it up and found it takes a good while for the lack of oxygen to make your brain stop working. The victim is aware they’re dying. It’s awful, so why would people want to be choked?” She looked up at him as he pushed her head back to rinse the shampoo out.
“It’s because of exactly what you read about. They want to be brought just to the point of passing out, then once their throat is released the oxygen hits their brains rapidly and they have a euphoric experience. Add in an orgasm along with that and some people find it to be a phenomenal sensation.” He filled his palm with a honeysuckle scented conditioner and ran it through her hair.
“Have you been on the receiving end of that, Arsen?” Her blue eyes were wide.
Arsen thought it over before he spoke. He didn’t like to think about his time under Mistress Sinclair. It held too many bad memories. But Steele needed to know more about him. He couldn’t expect her to be what he needed in his life without letting her in on some of his past.
He nodded.
“Twice and I hated it both times. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. I was a young man, trying to impress my Dom. I should’ve used the safe word, but I refused to show my weakness and ended up passing out both times. I woke with a headache and an aching throat. On top of that, I was further disciplined for not using the safe word.”
Steele ran her arms around Arsen and hugged him.
“I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever meet that horrible bitch, Arsen.”
“Not a damn thing, Steele. I won’t have you getting into any kind of altercation with her. She can take a fuck load of pain and you can’t. Believe me she knows so many ways to hurt you it’s not even funny.” He wrapped his arms around her and thought how good it felt to be talking to her about things.
Arsen never realized he’d want to talk about such things and with a female at that. It was crazy what she had him doing. He kissed the top of her head and felt a shift in his future was happening.
STEELE
As Arsen held her in his arms, Steele was able to see out the one window in the bathroom. On the sidewalk below, was the same man from the police station. He was looking up at the penthouse. Just staring.
That man needed to be looked at as a person of interest in the murders. She pulled back and pointed out the window.
“Look whose outside, Arsen.”
He turned and muttered, “Fuck.”
After turning off the water in the shower, he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist then wrapped one around Steele.
“Who is he, Arsen?”
“An old client of mine. The one case I lost.” He took her hand and led her out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. “This is probably not a good thing he’s out there.”
“What kind of case was it you lost?” she asked as he pulled one of his soft T-shirts out of a drawer and pulled it over her head.
“A murder case. Allen White was convicted of murdering his high school math teacher. He kidnapped her and kept her hidden away for a couple of months then killed her. Her body was tortured in many unbelievable ways.” Arsen pulled on a pair of blue pajama bottoms and led Steele to the kitchen.
“How come he’s out of prison then?” she asked as Arsen began to pull things out of the refrigerator to make sandwiches.
“Grab the bread, please,” he said as he placed a jar of mustard on the island in the large kitchen. “I was called by a member of the parole board several months ago. It seems Mr. White managed to gain his freedom by becoming a jail house evangelist.”
“So he found Jesus, and that alone got him out of prison?” Steele took a knife from a drawer and slathered fours slices of bread with mustard. “Is that all it takes to be set free after torturing and murdering a person?”
“Apparently.” Arsen placed three pieces of turkey on two of the mustard covered slices of bread. “The thing is, he was let out approximately three weeks before the first murder. So he could very well be the murderer.”
“Why target those women?” Steele asked as she placed slices of cheese on the two sandwiches.
Arsen piled lettuce on each sandwich.
“Well, I was feeling like I needed something in my life. The random women weren’t doing it for me. I was feeling like I needed more in my life. I went to see each woman who had been my subs a few times to see if there was any type of spark. I suppose he wanted to take away anyone that I cared about.”
Steele cut a tomato up and placed slices on the sandwiches then Arsen placed the other pieces of bread on top and placed each one on plates. He carried them to the table and Steele grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and a jar of pickles.
She sat across from him. “Why haven’t you told the police about your hunch?”
“Do you think it would do one bit of good to do that? I mean, it’s my handprints on each of their throats. If it was him, he must’ve managed to kill them without leaving a trace of DNA anywhere.” He took a bite of the sandwich.
Steele stabbed a couple of pickles out of the jar and placed one on her plate and on
e on his.
“We need to investigate him.”
“I do,” Arsen wagged his finger at her. “You are not to go anywhere near the man.”
“I can help you.” She wagged her finger right back at him and smiled.
“Minutes ago, you were wanting me to write up a contract and now you want to argue with me about something. Really, Steele,” he said with a grin.
“So if I’m going to be your sub, my opinion no longer matters?” she asked then took a drink of the water.
“It’s complicated. What I say goes. Arguing will get you punished. Let’s face it, you can’t really take punishment, Steele.” He frowned and looked down. “And I really can’t take dishing it out to you.”
Steele reached across the table and ran her fingers over the back of his hand. “I really shouldn’t have been alone with Rowan. He did exactly what you said he would. I’m not upset with you.”
“I’m not happy with myself, Steele. Things have to change.” Arsen put the half-eaten sandwich down.
“Take me to your club, Arsen. I want to see how it is. I want to know the you that you’re trying to change. If you’re trying to change for me, you need to know that I don’t want you too,” she said as her fingers traced a pattern on the back of his hand.
Arsen’s tone went sharp and commanding. “Take your hand off me.”
Steele pulled her hand back and looked down. “Sorry.”
“So, that’s what you really want?” he snapped at her.
Steele had to think. She wanted to know what his lifestyle was really like. Rowan had made her curious about Arsen’s room in the BDSM club.
“Yes, Sir.”
He let out a harsh laugh. “On your knees, now.”
Steele’s stomach went tight. A part of her wanted that, and another part was appalled she wanted it. She got off the chair and got on her knees.
Arsen got up and walked away, leaving her in the kitchen on her knees. When he came back, she didn’t look up at him. He placed something around her neck. Then a clicking sound she heard near her left ear and a quick jerk she felt as Arsen apparently had attached a leash to the thing around her neck.
She swallowed hard as she realized he’d put a collar on her and had her at the end of a leash. Like an animal. And he was her master. “To my room.”
Steele started to get up, and he jerked the leash hard. “On your hands and knees.”
She began to crawl towards his bedroom and she was surprised to find herself getting turned on. Once she was in the room, he stopped and said, “If I take you to that club, you’ll have to crawl in front of a room full of men and women while you wear clothes that show your tits and ass.” He moved around in front of her. “Take my cock out.”
Steele swallowed hard and reached up. Taking his cock out of his pajama bottoms. Then let it go. It was erect and near her face. His hand took the back of her neck, roughly. “Suck it.”
He pressed her head to him and she opened her mouth and took it in. She tried to run her hands up to it and he slapped one away. “I didn’t tell you to touch me, woman.”
He moved her head back and forth, forcefully. Steele was aroused and moaned. But found her head pulled back quickly. Arsen pulled her hair, making her look up at him. “You make a sound without my instruction in that place and your ass will be hot before you know what you’ve done. Also, you will have to endure this as others watch. And if I want, I can make you suck any man’s dick in the place. Sounding like something you still find intriguing?”
Steele answered with a smile, “You’d never allow any part of me to touch another man, Arsen. We both know that.”
His smile grew sinister. “Baby, you have no idea what I’ll allow. The fact is I made all my other subs do things with other men as I watched. They got ate out and I wouldn’t allow them to come. If they did, not only did I punish them but so did the other man.”
“Arsen!” she said and found her stomach growing tight. “You didn’t!”
He nodded. “I made them have sex with other men while I watched and dared them to enjoy it. I used their bodies any fucking way I wanted to and if that’s what you want from me, then I can do that for you, Steele. Is that what you want? Me to take you in front of people and put you under other men and dare you to enjoy it? Dare you to tell me no about anything?”
Her heart was pounding. It sounded awful and amazing at the same time.
“I want that.”
He laughed and took her by the back of her neck again, hoisting her up. Arsen looked into her eyes and she saw his had darkened even more. “It’s not even about sex, it’s about power. It’s about taking your power and making it mine.”
She had no idea why that intrigued her so damn much.
“I want it.”
He picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. All she had on was his T-shirt. He unleashed her then pulled it off over her head. Arsen placed her on the bed on her back. “Spread your arms and legs for inspection.”
Steele did as he said and her eyes cut to the side to watch him as he reached into a drawer next to the bed. He took out a small box and pulled out two odd little clear things.
He gave one a couple of squeezes then placed it on her nipple and pumped it several times. It sucked hard, and the pain began right away. Arsen watched her as she closed her eyes and her lips pressed into a hard line. “Do not utter a sound.”
He placed the other one on and she wiggled a little with the intense pain. A quick smack she felt on the side of her ass and she opened her eyes to see he held a thin piece of wood, like a paint stirring stick.
Arsen held a wooden clothes pin, and she began to wonder where he thought he was going to put it. His hand ran over her sex and down one leg. When he went back up he placed the clothes pin on her clit and she arched up in pain.
Things were not going as she expected and the pain was too intense. “Rose!” she shouted. “Rose! Get them off, Arsen! Please!”
He took the clothes pin off and then each suction cup. “Are we done here?”
She nodded. “I’m not ready.”
His hand grazed over her cheek. “And most likely never will be. Your pain threshold is low. Most can take many more strikes than you can and can take the suction cups and clitoral pinning much longer than that. You need to face the fact that this isn’t a thing you fantasize about or even want.”
She began to cry. “Then I’ll lose you. You’ll never be okay with a… what do they call it, a vanilla.”
He left the room, and she turned to cry into a pillow.
I can never be what he wants!
ARSEN
The woman was making him crazy. She was trying too hard to be something she wasn’t. Something he didn’t think he even wanted her to be anymore.
He grabbed a handful of ice cubes from the freezer and put them in a cloth. Grabbing a bottle of whisky, he went back into the bedroom and found Steele crying into a pillow.
He rolled her over gently and placed the cloth full of ice on one nipple. “Here this will stop the pain.” He pulled her up a little and handed her the bottle of Jack Daniels. “Take a drink of this.”
She wiped her eyes and did as he said, choking on the whisky.
“I’m sorry. I’m a wimp.”
He shook his head.
“No, you’re not. You're just not cut out for that. And it takes a while anyway. You want to go and rush things that take years to learn how to make your mind focus to take the pain it causes.” He moved the cold cloth to the other breast.
“Arsen, it will get old and boring with me, won’t it?” She sniffled and took another drink from the bottle.
He smiled and took the bottle from her and placed it on the nightstand.
“I doubt you’ll ever bore me, Steele.”
“The fact is I might be the one who bores you.” He moved the cold cloth to her clit, and she tensed up. “And I’m sorry about doing that to you. You clearly weren’t ready, and I went ahead and did it anyway. I’
m not myself. I’m much more responsible than this.”
“Perhaps the fact you have more murder charges hanging over your head.” Steele ran her hand through his hair. “That could throw anyone off their game.”
He laughed. “You think?”
She ran her hand to graze his bearded cheek. “You should let me run the clippers over that beard. You’ve always kept it meticulously groomed and here of late you’ve let it go a bit.”
“After what I did to you, you still want to be nice to me?” he asked as he shook his head.
“I asked for it, didn’t I?” she said with a smile. “Just didn’t really realize what I was getting into. I do want to learn though. Maybe baby steps.”
Arsen’s eyes brightened. “If you really want to do this, I’ll make up a contract. One we both agree on. Then maybe you’ll feel like I’m letting you into my world.”
Steele nodded. “I’ll stop rushing this and let you take the reins.”
“Good.” He placed her hand on the cold cloth he held to her throbbing clit and went to his chest of drawers.
He pulled out paper and a pen then went and picked up the T-shirt he’d pulled off her. Arsen held out his hand for the cloth and she gave it to him. He pulled the T-shirt back over her head and sat next to her.
“Okay, let’s discuss the things you can handle. Obviously, anything involving pain is going to be a hard limit for you.” He wrote that down.
She leaned forward. “What the hell else is there?”
He smiled. “You’ll see. So what about public orgasms? Where do you stand on those?”
“Never had one in public. Is it really embarrassing?” she asked as she bit her lip then added, “And how? Myself or one’s you induce?”
“Both,” he said as he looked at her. “For instance, we might be in a restaurant and I might make you keep a remote controlled dildo inside you while I have the remote. I may turn it on as the waiter approaches or something like that. And I may tell you to come. I can condition your body to come using one word. It doesn’t have to be the word come, it can be anything I see fit. You’d be surprised how easily this is done.”
Hacked For Love & The Dom's Songbird Page 59