“My program just got the information five minutes ago before I came in here. You got this about as fast as I did,” he explained.
Liam turned to Declan. “Can you print it out?”
“You just have to kill a tree, don’t you?”
Liam gave his nephew a deadly stare and Declan pressed print. He took the printout from Declan and held it out so she could see it, too.
“The first guy is too young,” Conroy said. “Number two, Harold, he looks probable. Stan is number three and he looks like a good fit as well.”
Addison zeroed in on the fourth name—she was the same age as Anders and had been stationed in Virginia for most of her career, just like Anders had been. Currently, she was in Pensacola.
“We can toss out Sarah,” Conroy said. “I’m not sure about number five, what do you think Addison? Does Vinh seem like a good candidate to you? I keep thinking that such a strong family man wouldn’t have anything to do with this shit.”
“Why are you ruling Sarah out?” Addison asked.
All of the men turned to look at her.
“You can’t be serious,” Conroy laughed. “A woman wouldn’t be doing this.”
Liam stood up straight and those two inches he had over Conroy seemed like a foot as he looked down on him. “You don’t ever talk to Addison like that, got it?”
“She knows I respect her,” Conroy protested.
“Sure didn’t sound like it,” Laird chimed in as he snagged a cookie off the plate. “You’re never going to get laid with such a shitty attitude.”
Addison held up both hands. “Gentlemen, allow me to answer Conn’s question. Yes, a woman definitely could be in on this. It all comes down to motive. Does she even know what is happening to these women after she gives the information? Is she doing it for love or money? Does she even know that she’s been compromised? There are a lot of variables. But I would not discount her based on her sex.”
“So, what you’re saying, is that everyone but the youngest could be our guy?”
“Absolutely.”
“Cooper, Conn, Laird, and I will go check them out. You and Liam will stay here and keep watch on Caroline,” Declan said decisively.
“Give me the one in Northern California,” Laird said as he stopped reaching for another cookie.
“Why?” Declan asked.
“I want to get back here in case Liam and Addison need back-up. Something tells me they might end up with their hands full with Asslick.”
“Who came up with such a disgusting nickname anyway?” Addison asked.
“Asslick Anders. It’s a name a couple of my men started calling the guy. It stuck.” Liam said as he ran his hand through his silver hair.
Addison’s lips twitched. “After having met the man, I have to say I like it.”
“Addison, can you help us come up with interview questions? I’m going to be talking to Sarah. Everything you said made a lot of sense, so I want to make sure I go in soft.” Declan stood up from the back of the desk and picked up more sheets of paper off the printer.
“Laird, here’s Vinh’s information. Cooper will take Harold and Conn. I want you to take Stan. I think he looks really viable.”
“I agree,” Conroy said as he took that man’s profile.
“I’ll help with the questions,” Addison agreed. “We’ll still need to come up with a way to convince Caroline that she needs protection.”
“Leave that to me,” Liam said.
9
After the last man left the house, Liam turned to Addison.
“What would you like me to fix you for dinner?”
“Shouldn’t we be discussing Caroline’s protection?” she asked as she followed him into the kitchen.
“We need to eat,” he said reasonably. He peered in the fridge. “Looks like we have a lot to choose from. How about salmon?”
“Fine.” It was clear she was distracted. She went and sat on the other side of the island where she immediately started to play with the saltshaker.
Liam started to prepare the meal. He knew from experience it was best to let her think things through for a little bit.
“How do you think we should approach Caroline?” he asked after he slipped the seasoned fish into the oven.
“From everything you and Laird said, she isn’t going to want to have to rely on others for her safety.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I did some digging on her history up in Alaska. I did a quick call to her school and ended up talking to her debate coach.”
He lifted his eyebrows for her to continue.
“All that time she spent nursing her grandmother, she was bullied, too. She had a couple of strikes against her. There aren’t a lot of African American kids up in Kodiak, and she was illegitimate, and everyone knew it. But she powered through it. She ended up president of the debate club in seventh grade.”
“How old was she when she started the martial arts?”
“Fourteen. But Shirley Kubrik said she’d already managed to win over the kids at school. She was feisty, but fun. She got into the mixed martial arts when she turned eighteen. She got an Associate’s Degree, but there wasn’t much she could do with it in Kodiak. So that’s when she joined the Navy.”
“Why did you call up to Kodiak?” Liam asked.
“I had the call in to Kodiak before she was found. The more I can know about a person, the better I can understand what motivates them, and what makes them tick. God knows it helped me with Brody. It’s helped me with everything. Hell, I’ve even got Conroy talking about K.C.”
“Who’s K.C.?”
“That’s Allie’s best friend. Conroy is halfway in love with her, but he just thinks she irritates the hell out of him.”
“You know that about him?” Liam couldn’t believe it.
“It’s hard to work with someone without getting to really know them. Anyway, that’s why I checked up on Caroline, the more I could find out about her, her habits, her way of thinking, the better off we would be at finding her. Knowing what I do, we’re going to have an uphill battle convincing her that she needs to be protected. She’s a fighter at heart.”
“Yes, she is,” Liam said thoughtfully. “How long was she stationed in the Philippines?”
“Four years. She transferred back to the states right after her grandmother died.”
“Oh yeah, her commanding officer thought that was the reason she wanted to come back to the states,” Liam remembered. He pulled out a bottle of white wine from the fridge. “Do you want a glass now, or with dinner?” he asked.
“Now and with dinner,” she smiled. She looked tired. But then none of them had had a lot of sleep lately.
“Is something wrong?”
She looked up at him from underneath her bangs and gave him a wan smile. “Nothing, just been thinking over the case a lot.”
Liam got down the wine glasses and poured them both a glass of wine. “Let’s go sit in the living room while we wait for dinner. I really want to hear any ideas you might have to convince Caroline into accepting our help.”
She sat in the chair beside the sofa, not next to him.
“She’s not used to taking help from anyone. She’s used to doing things on her own,” Addison said slowly as she took a sip of her wine, then she set her glass down on the coffee table, taking time to center it on the coaster. “She’s scared after what happened. But she won’t admit it, probably not even to herself. She’ll push it down, so that will make it tough for us to persuade her that she needs help. She’ll want to just close in on herself.”
Liam looked at her curled up in the chair. It was funny, but for every step forward she made, she stepped back two paces.
“Is that what you did?” Liam asked quietly.
Addison jerked. “What?”
“After we broke up. Did you just close in on yourself?”
“That’s not the same thing at all, Liam, she was abducted, for God’s sake. We just had a bad break-up.
Let’s focus on Caroline.” She picked up her glass again, but just held it.
“She’ll keep. You’ll figure out how to get her to accept our help. You’re amazing that way.” He got up off the couch and crouched down in front of her. “I want to know about you. I know you say you put the past behind us, but Honey, what about now? How do we move forward?”
She pushed back in the chair, putting more distance between them. “You don’t mean that.”
He touched her leg. He desperately needed some sort of connection with this woman. “What don’t I mean?” he asked softly.
“It’s been bothering me how much I’ve been enjoying our time together, but it occurred to me this morning that this is just happenstance. We got put together on this project, and as soon as it’s done, we’re going our separate ways.”
“That’s not what I want. I want to spend more time with you after this is done. I thought I made that clear.”
“But how much time?” she asked softly. Sadly.
Shit. He knew what he wanted, but she didn’t sound on board.
“What do you want, Addison?”
“I don’t want to get emotionally entangled with you for a few days just to have us go our separate ways again. That doesn’t sound like a good time to me.” Her voice was hoarse.
At last, he was getting to the bottom of things. He took the glass of wine from her unresisting fingers and set it down on the table. Then he took her cold hands in both of his. “Do you really think I’m that callous?”
She sighed. “No,” she said abruptly. “But I didn’t think you were before, either.”
He didn’t know how to respond so he waited for her to continue.
“Do you want me to lay it on the line?” Her voice quavered.
“God yes. Tell me.” He tried to warm her cold hands, but they were like ice.
“I think, deep down, you regretted hurting me at the time, but you did it anyway. Before I can trust you again, I need to know what has changed in you to keep you from doing it again.”
“How can I explain something like that? It just was.”
What a cop-out. Do better!
“Liam, I want this so badly. I really do. But I don’t think I’d be able to put myself together again after another go with you if it went wrong. I wish I were brave enough to take the risk, but I’ve looked inside myself, and without more reassurance I can’t take the chance.”
He felt her running through his fingers like sand and it scared the hell out of him. This was worse than fifteen years ago, because this time he knew what he was losing.
“What if I told you I want you in my life forever? What if I told you that forcing you to walk away was the stupidest thing I ever did?”
“I want to believe that so badly,” she choked out. This time she did manage to pull her hands out of his. She pushed him out of the way and stood up. “But I have one question for you. If you felt anything like that, why didn’t you look me up?”
“Addison.” He watched her agitation as she walked to the window that looked out to evergreen trees.
“No, don’t do this to me, Liam. Don’t say things you don’t mean. Don’t play with me like this.”
“Addison. When have you known me to play with someone’s feelings? Especially yours. You meant the world to me.”
She whirled around. “Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind? All you did was play with my feelings. You forced me to walk away. I still don’t understand why you were so closed off. I still don’t get it, Liam. You told me how it was between your brother and his wife. It sounded wonderful. I thought it would be the same with us. Instead, you did everything you could to drive me away. What in the world would make me believe you wouldn’t do the same damn thing?”
He raked his fingers through his hair. Then the timer went off.
“Saved by the bell. I’m really not hungry,” she said. “I’m going to do some work in my room.”
“Addison, you need to eat,” he implored.
“No, I don’t.”
He watched as she walked upstairs, then he went and grabbed the fish out of the oven and threw the pan onto the top of the stove. He saw it slosh around, juice splashing everywhere. He didn’t really give a rat’s ass.
Addison was right. What had he done to prove to her that he was different now? Hell, what had he done to prove to himself that he was different? He opened some of the cabinet doors in the kitchen until he finally found bottles of booze. He took out the single malt scotch. For once he didn’t ponder how Conroy managed to stock things, he was just damn glad there was something he could use to burn his throat.
Standing up in the kitchen, he poured himself a double shot and drank it down. It didn’t burn as much as he wanted it to. The scotch was too damned expensive. He poured another generous shot and took it into the living room and stood in the spot that Addison had vacated so he could look out into the trees.
How could he convince her he wasn’t the same man he had once been? Was that even true?
He knew where some of the deep dark in his psyche came from. His brother Donovan had dug it out of him two years ago, the asshole. Apparently, almost having your kid die makes a man start getting all touchy-feely with everyone. Donovan had turned into a force to be reckoned with.
He’d made Liam dredge up all those memories after their father had died, and Donovan had left for college when Liam had been five years old and their mom had spiraled into depression. She’d occasionally pull it together when her older son would come for his sporadic visits, but she wasn’t really aware of Liam most of the time. It was like living with a ghost. As a little kid, he hadn’t known what to do.
His dad had been the rock that the family had revolved around, and he had always told his sons it was their responsibility to take care of the women. Liam had failed. His wonderful mom had ended up only getting worse as he grew older. She took no notice of him no matter what his accomplishment. He learned to do everything around the house. It was when he was nine years old that he came home from school one day that he found the neighbor Thomas, from two doors down sitting in the kitchen with his Mom. Liam’s first clue that something big was going on was that his mom was actually dressed. She’d even had a smile on her face for the first time in a year.
That was the beginning of the end. They’d married within six months and Liam was totally pushed out of his mother’s life. She was never the woman she had been with Liam’s dad. She never laughed like she once had. But she dressed. She sometimes went to the grocery store. She cooked. But she only paid attention to Thomas. Liam didn’t exist in his own home. He joined the Navy on his eighteenth birthday.
That night two years ago, Donovan had pushed to find out all the gory details over an entire bottle of scotch.
“Jesus, man. Why didn’t you tell me?” Donovan breathed.
“You never asked,” Liam answered warily. He was still uncomfortable that he had revealed so much. Scotch would do that to you. What had he been thinking, drinking with his brother?
That had been two years ago, two months after their mother had died and Donovan had gone through his own personal crisis where Declan had been targeted because of Donovan’s past. It had all coalesced into Donovan’s need to reach out.
All in all, it had just pissed Liam off for almost a year. Talk about too little too late. But his brother was a tenacious bastard. What’s more, he had three great kids, all of whom had some cute kids themselves. It had started to break down the barriers. Yeah, his brother was a real asshole, that was for damn sure. An asshole who’d opened his eyes and brought him into the light.
Addison looked up from her laptop when Liam knocked on her bedroom door. She hadn’t expected him to approach her, so she was in her nightshirt lying in bed with the computer on her knees.
Ah to hell with it. He’d seen much more.
“Come in.”
“I brought a peace offering.” He nudged open the door holding a tray. She could see the cheesecake, clear
as day.
“There wasn’t any butterscotch, but I found some caramel sauce.”
He made himself at home and sat on the bed beside her. She put her computer aside and just stared at the plate that he offered. “You’re evil.”
“I’m a good evil,” he waggled his eyebrows and twirled the fork.
“Give me that,” she snatched the fork out of his hand. Then she took a bite of vanilla and caramel and held back a moan of pleasure. He smiled knowingly.
“You know you really should eat some dinner.”
“I’ll eat a healthy breakfast,” she promised.
They ate in a silence that was filled with meaning. Addison felt her blood thicken at his presence in her bedroom. It was intimate. When she finally put her plate on the tray, he cleared his throat.
“I thought about what you said.”
“You did?” she asked softly.
“Addison, I was serious out there. I know now, from the bottom of my heart, that making a life with you is what I want.”
She was trapped. She tried to take a breath, but it wouldn’t come. The laptop was on one side of her, Liam was on the other and the tray of dishes was on her lap. “I don’t believe you.”
He cupped her cheek. How could his touch feel so good? Why did she want to believe him so badly? She couldn’t go down that path again. She couldn’t.
“Honey, why won’t you believe me? Is it because you’re scared? Because I’ve hurt you in the past? Or because you think I’m a liar?”
She looked into those beautiful blue eyes that held her heart. “I don’t think you would ever lie to me on purpose.”
“Well, that’s something then.” His thumb stroked her jaw. “Addison, I’ve lied to myself. But I see things a lot clearer now. A lot. I’m not the same man I was fifteen years ago.”
“How?” She desperately needed to know. She put her hand up and stroked his cheek. It was rough. She saw the silver in his beard and it turned her on. Was this older Liam different? Maybe he’d changed. Grown.
“What do you mean you’re not the same man?”
“I didn’t realize that when I thought I was protecting you from the real me, I was really protecting myself from being hurt.”
SEAL at Sunrise (Silver SEALs Book 12) Page 10