Never a Bride

by Denise Hunter

  Suddenly Cassy straightened, and her head snapped toward Jane. “Oh!”

  “What? What is it?”

  Cassy slumped. “No. Never mind. It’s nothing.”

  “Well, it must be something!”

  “Really, Jane. It’s too much to ask.”

  “What is too much to ask?

  “I was just going to say, maybe you could fill in for Esther while Caleb and I are away.” Cassy watched as Jane shrank away in dread. “Like I said. It’s too much to ask.”

  “Cassy, I. . .”

  “It’s all right.” She laid her hand on Jane’s. “Really. I know you don’t care much for Luke.” Cassy made another effort at a smile. “I just need to count my blessings. In two days I’m going to marry the man I love, and he’s more wonderful than I ever imagined.” Cassy pulled herself up. “Thanks for listening, Jane. I do feel better. I’d better go and put those finishing touches on my gown.”

  Jane watched her go, a sick feeling churning in her stomach that could not be attributed to food or illness. She felt horribly selfish. She could solve Cassy and Caleb’s problem; she could make their wedding all they wanted it to be.

  But she didn’t want to because of Luke.

  Perhaps Katy. . . Just as quickly, she dismissed the idea. Katy was hopeless in the kitchen. She had always been relegated to table setting and dish washing since she had single-handedly burnt an entire supper. She would love to see the look on Luke’s face when presented with supper Katy-style! The thought of arranging such an event proved tempting. Still, when she thought of Elizabeth, she knew she couldn’t carry out such a devious plan.

  Jane picked up her sketch pad and continued her work. She wished she could will away her guilty conscience. Cassy had been so happy in recent weeks. What a shame that these latest developments now cast a shadow over the wedding!

  Maybe her taking Esther’s place wouldn’t be so bad. After all, Luke would be gone all day, leaving her and Elizabeth alone. She would only have to endure him at breakfast and supper. Perhaps she could even leave after preparing supper. Then, she would hardly see him at all.

  Jane put away her supplies. She was doing more thinking than drawing, anyway. As she followed the stone path toward the house, she decided she would accept this dreadful assignment—for Cassy. It was a small thing, really, and she knew Cassy would do the same for her.

  Within the next few hours, everything was arranged. Cassy and Luke would go to California, and Jane would stay in Esther’s cottage until the honeymooners returned.

  three

  Jane spent the next day making floral arrangements for the church and a bouquet for Cassy. Because of her creative ability, she was given free rein on this task. Cassy and Anna prepared several appetizing dishes for the small reception, which was to be held at the Coopers’ house. Then, they turned their attentions to decorating the wedding cake.

  Finally, the wedding day arrived, and the house bustled with activity. An early morning rain shower gave them a bit of a fright, but soon the clouds rolled by and left a clear blue expanse in their place.

  They arrived at the church on time, despite several last- minute catastrophes: a missing button, lost shoes, and a search for “something borrowed.” The ceremony was brief, but beautiful. Jane noticed her mother wiping away a tear or two, and Jane herself swallowed around a lump in her throat.

  After the wedding, the families moved to the Coopers’ house, where they ate wedding cake and celebrated. Soon, the time approached for the newlyweds to leave for Wichita in order to catch their train.

  As Caleb and Cassy dashed down the porch steps, Jane tossed a handful of white rice into the air and watched as it showered down upon them. The couple ducked under the barrage of grain, their laughter an echo of the fanfare that surrounded them.

  Cassy’s cheeks matched the rosy traveling dress she had laboriously stitched. Her honey-blond hair was in casual disarray around her radiant face, but Jane couldn’t help but wonder if any other woman could look so beautiful with flecks of rice clinging to her hair.

  When the couple drew to a halt at the base of the steps, Cassy threw a glance over her shoulder before hurling her fresh bouquet directly at her older sister.

  Jane put out her hands to fend off the impending object but, a moment later, found herself holding the cluster she had arranged only the day before. Pursing her lips, she sent Cassy a scowl and received in return a giggle and a wink.

  As the newlyweds walked toward the wagon, the Reiley and Cooper families swarmed them. Eli and Anna walked nearest their daughter, followed closely by Luke and Elizabeth.

  Jane followed at a distance, content to watch the good-byes from the outskirts. A hot gust of wind caught the skirt of her new beige gown, and it swirled rebelliously around her legs.

  “Don’t let Caleb get too used to lazing around, Cassy!” Luke called to his new sister-in-law. “Four weeks away, and he’ll probably come back completely useless!”

  “I can keep up with you any day, big brother!” Caleb flicked the brim of Luke’s hat, causing it to tip back, and everyone laughed. Jane watched as the hat’s shadow receded from Luke’s face.

  As she studied his eyes and his smile, she noticed something odd about his expression. Not anything definably different. But, something. . . Just then he turned away, and Jane decided her imagination must be working overtime. And, why should the matter concern her, anyway? She didn’t care one whit about Luke Reiley!

  Jane stepped forward for her good-bye hug, then slipped to the outside of the group. Luke’s turn came next, and Jane watched from behind her sister as he embraced her, his sinewy arms sliding around Cassy’s narrow waist. Because of her position, only Jane fell privy to the look on Luke’s face.

  Nothing she had learned about Luke during their three-month acquaintance had prepared her for what she saw in that moment. His twinkling eyes turned dull and lifeless. A frown pulled his lips downward, swallowing his one dimple. Luke’s eyelids fell like the lid of a coffin, and his Adam’s apple bobbed once as if swallowing a mass of emotion.

  His obvious struggle for control melted Jane’s frozen heart for an instant.

  Luke’s jaw hardened. Then, he released Cassy. “You honeymooners better be off or you’re going to miss your train!” His smile made Jane wonder, once again, if she’d been seeing things.

  Caleb helped Cassy into the wagon. She settled her full skirt around her, then laughed as Caleb swept his felt hat off his head and took a royal bow before their families. Once seated, Caleb snapped the reins, setting the two bays in motion. The families waved, their faces alight with joy as they watched the newlyweds pull out. Laughter and shouts of good-bye, delivered with enthusiasm, were snatched away by the June wind.

  Jane had watched the day’s events with mixed feelings. She was happy for Cassy, but the day also signified a big change in Jane’s life. Her sister would no longer be right there when Jane needed to talk. No one else understood her the way Cassy did.

  Jane also longed for a special someone, and she was irritated with herself for even thinking of such things. Until recent weeks, she thought the issue was settled in her mind. She had made up her mind on the school playground long ago. She would never have a husband.

  Now, as Jane watched Cassy and Caleb ride off to Wichita, her thoughts turned in an entirely different direction. Luke loved Cassy. This man, who had vexed her for the past three months, was in love with her sister. She was certain. No other explanation could account for the pain she had seen in his face. The realization of this truth shook Jane to the bone. Oh, she didn’t wonder that he could love Cassy—for who could help but adore her? But, how could he have kept his affections hidden all this time?

  Did anyone else know? Surely not Caleb nor Cassy, for if Cassy had known, she would have confided in Jane. And she would have felt just awful!

  For the first time, Jane felt something other than irritation for Luke. Her current feelings bordered on compassion—quickly heading toward pity.r />
  That is, until Luke whispered into her ear, scaring two years off her life.

  “You’re gonna crush your pretty flowers.”

  Jane realized that she had been twisting a daisy rather viciously. Several petals lay on the ground at her feet. “They’re not my flowers,” she snapped.

  “Of course they are. You caught them.”

  “I didn’t catch them! Cassy threw them at me!”

  “Well, they did land in your hands.” Luke’s eyes crinkled at the corners. He spoke again before she could retort. “It’s sure gonna be an interesting four weeks!” He sauntered off, shaking his head, and leaving Jane exasperated once again.

  four

  The next morning, Jane forced her weary body out of bed. Throughout the night of elusive sleep, yesterday’s wedding replayed in her mind. She could not erase from her memory the pain sheathed in Luke’s face the previous day. Had she misinterpreted his expression? Mistaken some other emotion for despair?

  She didn’t think so. An observer by nature, Jane tended to circle the edge of the action, a convenient spot for deciphering peoples’ motives and feelings. The habit helped her sketch realistic portraits and, if she had sketched Luke’s face yesterday, she was sure she could have captured the anguish she had seen.

  Jane descended the stairs in her gray dress and joined her mother and Katy in the kitchen. Breakfast was accomplished with little fuss since everyone was drained from the workload of the previous weeks. In short order, the family was in the carriage and on their way to church.

  Katy joined her new friends in the churchyard, and David went off to speak with one of the men who had been helping with the construction. Jane entered the building with her mother and father, and they took their seats in an empty pew.

  Soon church started, and Luke went forward to lead the music. Jane kept her eyes on the new hymnals, knowing Luke would embarrass her if given the chance.

  After the song, the Reverend Hill stepped forward, and Jane took this as her cue to let her mind wander. She relived the wedding and wondered where Cassy and Caleb were now. Then, her thoughts drifted on to other subjects in an effort to pass the time. She mentally planned the noon meal. Chose the subject for her next painting. Packed her bags for her stay at the Reileys’.

  At the end of the closing prayer, Jane heaved a sigh and looked sideways to see her mother watching her. “What is it, Mama?” she asked.

  Her mother gave a sad half-smile. “Nothing, sweetie.”

  Later that day, Jane packed her bags in record time since she had already planned what to take. Tomorrow she would move into the cottage. She wished the four weeks were already behind her.

  ❧

  The next day, after breakfast was cleared, Jane stepped out to the porch and sank onto the wooden swing. A low fog smothered the town with an oppressive presence and, off in the distance, the hills that projected from the blanket of white seemed to be floating in midair. The air was thick with the smell of rain, and Jane pondered how perfectly the weather reflected her mood.

  Her short reprieve ended when her mother called her name, and the day passed quickly as she moved from one chore to the next. Soon it was evening and, after supper, her father took her to the Reileys’.

  As they drove along the dirt drive that led to the Reiley house and cottage, Jane studied Luke’s ranch. Prairie grass covered the ground almost as far as the eye could see. Trees and cattle sprinkled the landscape, as if to break up the monotony, and the ever-present ridge of distant hills provided a calming sense of security.

  The trees and shrubbery drew closer together as they drove along and, when they approached a grove of oak trees, Jane saw why the previous owners had built on this spot. Foliage obscured the main house but, when they neared, they saw the cottage in a clearing to the left and the barns off to the right.

  The clattering wagon must have alerted Luke and Elizabeth to their approach, for as her father halted in front of the cottage, they emerged from the house.

  Luke offered his hand to Jane to help her from the wagon. Since her father was already alighting from the other side, she saw no polite way to decline Luke’s assistance. She put her hand in his and stepped down. She turned to retrieve her bag, but Luke was quicker. “I’ve got it,” he said, then rounded the wagon and shook Eli’s hand. “Evening, sir. Thank you for bringing Jane.”

  “Good evening, Luke, Elizabeth. I was glad to bring her. First rest I’ve had all day.”

  Elizabeth addressed Jane. “I’m so happy you’ve come, Jane! Come, and I’ll show you the cottage.” Luke stayed by the wagon talking to her father while Jane and Elizabeth followed the stone path to the cottage. “I cleaned the place up today and put fresh linens on the bed. The cottage is small but homey. I hope you like it.”

  Elizabeth pushed open the squeaky wooden door, and Jane followed her inside. To the left was the sitting room filled with a potpourri of serviceable furniture. Against the left wall, a stack of dry logs framed a small fireplace and an oval carpet hugged the plank floor in front of the hearth. A sawbuck table, surrounded by four Windsor chairs, dominated the eating room to her right. Straight ahead was the door that led, presumably, to the bedroom. To the right of that loomed the kitchen.

  Elizabeth interrupted her appraisal. “I hope everything is okay. I know you’re not used to small quarters.” She seemed worried that Jane would be displeased, so Jane reassured her.

  “Nonsense! After all, there’s only me, and I don’t take up much space. Besides, I think you’re right. It is homey.” Jane wandered into the bedroom, which contained a bed, bureau, table, and chest of drawers. Atop the mahogany bureau, a vase of fresh cut flowers commanded center stage. She walked over to them and inhaled their sweet fragrance. “Ummm. These are beautiful; how thoughtful of you.”

  “Oh, I didn’t pick them. Luke did.” Elizabeth spun around and headed toward the kitchen. “The kitchen’s in here, but I guess you’ll be doing all your cooking at our house. I can help you. I’m a good cook.”

  “I’m sure you are.” Jane followed, her mind still on the flowers.

  “The bathtub is under this cabinet. There’s a pump in the backyard, or we have one in our kitchen if you want to use that.”

  Just then Luke entered the house, followed by her father. Luke gently dropped Jane’s bag to the floor. “I appreciate your help, Jane. I couldn’t have managed with both Caleb and Esther gone.”

  Jane avoided Luke’s eyes, uncomfortable with his gratitude. “Don’t be silly. I could hardly have let Cassy and Caleb miss their trip.”

  Jane’s father surveyed the room. “Well, your mama’s gonna miss your help, that’s for sure.” He turned to Luke. “Anna’s always telling me, ‘Jane’s my right hand.’ But, speaking of Anna, I’d best be getting back to her. Jane, if you need anything, just get word to me.”

  “I’ll be fine, Papa.”

  Luke shook her father’s hand again. “I’ll make sure of it, sir. She’s practically family, after all.” He winked at Jane, seeming to enjoy her discomfort.

  Luke and Elizabeth left, too, and Jane was grateful for the chance to unpack and settle in. She was unaccustomed to the quiet that now permeated the little house, but the solitude was a pleasant change.

  After tucking away her clothes in the drawers, she changed into her white nightgown and lay down on the mattress, which, she was dismayed to find, was filled with straw rather than feathers. She blew out the candle on the bedside table, lay back on the pillow and, quicker than she could have imagined, sleep’s oblivion claimed her.

  ❧

  When she opened her eyes the next morning, it took a moment for Jane to remember where she was. Dawn’s early light seeped into the room, and she knew the sun would be up soon. She stretched, then sat up in the bed that crackled beneath her.

  After donning a brown muslin dress, she walked the short distance to the main house. When she approached the door, she stood frozen in indecision. Should she knock or just go right in? Deciding o
n the former, she had just raised her hand to knock when the door flew open.

  “Good morning, Jane!” Elizabeth said. “I’m headed out to milk the cows. The kitchen is right there,” she said as she pointed to the left. “If you can’t find anything, just holler and I’ll come show you where it is.”

  “Good enough. Is Luke awake?”

  “Oh, yes. He’s in the stable, I imagine. We usually eat about six o’clock, but whenever you have the food ready, we can eat. I’ll be back in a little bit to help.”

  “Fine, Elizabeth.”

  Jane set to work in the kitchen, which wasn’t fancy, but much nicer than the cottage’s. The cooking utensils were efficiently located, and she could tell Esther had been a very organized woman. After surveying the pantry, Jane decided on buckwheat cakes, eggs, and sausages. The coffee was already made, so she began mixing the buckwheat batter.

  Breakfast was well underway by the time Elizabeth joined her. The younger girl set the table and poured milk, all the while twittering like a spring bird. As breakfast neared completion, Jane began to wonder whether Luke would be joining them. She found herself glancing at the door periodically and knew her nerves were strung from the waiting and wondering. If only she were not so awkward! Luke’s very nature seemed to magnify that awkwardness, and it was this that she dreaded. Elizabeth’s presence would help, but still, she wished she had not gotten herself into this.

  ❧

  Luke’s mind spun as he did his morning chores. He wondered where Caleb and Cassy were and what they were doing. His mind had been filled these last few days with torturous thoughts. Saturday night he had come home from the wedding and worked. He had cleaned every gun in the house, mucked out the stalls and filled them with fresh hay, and fixed a wagon wheel; anything to occupy his mind. Elizabeth must have thought him mad, but she was too young to understand the situation.