Handsome Widower’s Second Chance

by Elliee Atkinson

  CHAPTER FOUR

  NATHAN GETS ANGRY

  NATHAN GETS ANGRY

  Nathan and Mark raised their hands in greeting. Adam lifted his shot glass to them, downed the fourth shot of Vodka and set the glass down on the counter.

  “It’s been good talking to you, Sam. Thanks for filling me in. I won’t tell anyone what you’ve told me. I swear it.”

  Sam nodded. “I appreciate that, Adam. And I am sorry for your loss.”

  Adam didn’t reply. He grabbed the bowl of peanuts and turned to join his friends, who had sat at one of the tables.

  “Give us a round, Sam!” Nathan called out.

  “You got it, Nate.” Sam responded.

  Adam pulled out one of the chairs and dropped into it. His head was already spinning from the liquor. He pulled in a deep breath. “So what are you boys up to?”

  “The same as every other day, Adam,” Nathan replied. “You?”

  “Yep. ‘Bout right.”

  The men looked at him closely. “Looks like Sam’s been generous with you. You feelin’ okay?”

  Adam snorted. “Yeah. I’m feelin’ better than I have in… about five days.”

  Nathan and Mark looked at each other. “We’ve got cards, you wanna play some poker?”

  Adam put both arms on the table. “I’m ready for it. Deal me in.”

  Nathan pulled a pack of cards from his back pocket and he shuffled as Sam brought the beers.

  “Got a new batch in, Sam?”

  “Yep. I think you’ll like it.” He smiled. “I do.”

  The three men laughed. They lifted their cups of warm beer and saluted the bartender.

  “You feelin’ any better than earlier today, Adam?” Mark asked.

  “I’m feelin’ better right now,” Adam admitted. “But it’s been a while since I’ve been in this place.”

  “You’ve been busy with the family life.” Mark nodded. “Understandable. A little alcohol won’t do ya any harm, will it?”

  Adam shook his head. He was feeling the effects of the four shots and the half cup of beer he’d consumed in less than half an hour. He watched as Nathan dealt the cards and tried his best to focus on the game. He wasn’t a gambler, though he was aware that both Mark and Nathan were. He hadn’t played poker in many years. When he married Holly and they had the children, he stopped going to the Horse N Saddle and drinking with his buddies. He was a family man. He had never wanted to be anything but that.

  He listened to the chatter of his friends and watched as people came and went, continuing to drink until he realized that if he stood up, he was going to fall over. Unwilling to let his weakness show in front of the two men, he stayed seated and tried to catch his breath.

  “Are you sure you want to play another round, Adam?” Mark asked. “You look like you’re about to fall out of your chair. Maybe you shouldn’t be drinking anymore.”

  “Maybe he shouldn’t have gone back to liquor.” Nathan said in an uncharacteristically sarcastic tone of voice.

  Mark looked at him. “He just needs a night of not worrying about what’s happened.”

  “He still needs to be in control of himself. He has two children to go home to.”

  “Have you seen my house?” Adam knew his words were probably slurred but he’d heard his brother-in-law’s tone, just like Mark's had been, and was slightly offended. “It’s a mess. I don’t want to go back there.”

  “I’m sure Missy will clean it for you. That’s who you left the kids with, right? Missy? The seamstress?”

  “Yeah.” Adam nodded. “But I don’t think she’s gonna clean. She doesn’t seem like the type to do more than what she’s asked to do.”

  “You should have asked her to clean for you then.”

  “I’ll tell you what, you need someone to help you keep the place clean for the kids, you should call Alice. She’ll help you out. I know she had to have offered.”

  Adam nodded. “Yeah, she offered. I haven’t talked to her about it though. I haven’t really gone anywhere nor done anything for the past week, except work. I haven’t done anything in the house. The kids do some things to help clean. Nevertheless, they can’t do a lot. They’re just kids.”

  “They need to learn to take care of themselves, you know. They gotta grow up sometime.”

  Adam looked closely at his brother-in-law, narrowing his eyes. “They’re too young for all that right now. Just babies, really. They gotta be taken care of.”

  Nathan snorted. “When I was ten, my dad was showing me how to live on my own in the woods, shoot a gun to kill any violent Indians or… drunks… that might stumble onto the property. I’m just saying it’s better to learn earlier than later.”

  “Not this soon after losing their mother.” Adam shook his head. “Not this soon.”

  A look of regret crossed Nathan’s face. Adam wondered if he remembered his sister’s death at all. He never mentioned Holly when they met, but Adam assumed it was because he was grieving the loss of his sister. Nathan leaned forward.

  “I’m sorry, Adam. I’m worried about you. I… I’m trying to handle this the best way I can and I… I know it’s hard for you too. I have to watch mama and papa go through this. We are all hurting.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “So you gotta think about other people, too. We are all going through it, ya know.” Nathan’s voice was still hard and his eyes showed his pain and anger.

  “Hey,” Mark said, putting one hand on the table in front of him, looking at Nathan. “You need to back up a minute and hold on to your temper, Nate. Adam isn’t responsible for what happened to Holly. You gotta take it easy. I know you’re hurting, too. So are your parents. But you gotta let this go.”

  “Doc didn’t say what was wrong with Holly, did he, Adam?” Nathan ignored Mark. “Did you ever try to get her to a doctor? She must have complained about something. Pain. A headache. Something. There had to be something you could have seen beforehand.”

  Adam’s head, so filled with alcohol, was in a fog. When he responded, his voice was weak. “I didn’t see anything. She never complained about anything.”

  “She had to, Adam. She had to have said something that would alarm you. You weren’t listening to her. You weren’t listening or watching. You didn’t take care of her. You should have taken care of her!”

  “Nate! Stop!” Mark exclaimed, slamming one hand on the table.

  “No!” Nathan stood up, placed both palms firmly on the table and leaned toward Adam. “You didn’t do your job. You caused all the pain everyone is going through. Now your children will suffer because of your negligence. You could have prevented this!”

  Adam shook his head. It was as if the room had emptied of other patrons. The room darkened. He shook his head again. “No. No. I saw nothing. Nothing was wrong with her. I…”

  “You did nothing.” Nathan stood up straight and tall. Adam looked up at him. The light from the setting sun outside streamed through below and above the swinging doors that led into the saloon. The rays shined around Nate, making him look larger than he actually was. Adam lifted one hand to shield his eyes. When he did, Nate reacted as if he thought Adam was about to hit him. He jumped forward and landed a solid punch to the side of Adam’s head, knocking him out of his chair.

  Mark jumped to his feet. “Nate!” He rounded the table and got in between Nate and Adam, who was struggling to sit up but having a difficult time in his drunken state. “He said he didn’t see anything wrong! What is wrong with you?”

  Nate spit in Mark’s face when he responded. “It’s his fault! He could have prevented it! He was supposed to protect her and care for her!” Nate pointed at Adam on the floor over Mark’s shoulder. “You stay down there unless you want me to knock your teeth down your throat!”

  Adam managed to sit up. His knees were up and he put his head down in his hands. He made no attempt to stand or fight back against his brother-in-law. He stayed silent.

  “You…” Nate continued to jab
his finger at Adam. “You stay away from my family. You don’t ever come back. We will come get the kids to spend time with them, but only when you aren’t there. We don’t want to see you. None of us do. Do you hear me, Adam? You are responsible for my sister’s death. We want nothing to do with you again! If it weren’t for Max and Riley, we’d run you out of town!”

  “That’s enough!” Although Nathan was six inches taller and had a much broader chest, Mark shoved him backward, away from Adam. “Get out of here! I’ll get Sam to help me if I have to but you need to get out of here. Adam is in enough pain and doesn’t need your venom! Get out!”

  “You want to take me on, Mark? You want to fight me in his stead? Come on! I’m ready.”

  Mark shook his head. “No, no, Nate. I’m not trying to get involved in any arguments or fights with you or your family. However, Adam is in a lot of pain, too. You aren’t yourself right now. It hurts to lose someone you love. You’re all hurting. Just leave Adam alone. You can talk to him when you aren’t drunk.”

  Nate turned his head and spit on the ground. “He’ll get what’s comin’ to him and I won’t be talkin’ to him anytime soon. Stay away!” He jabbed his finger at Adam, turned on his heel and stomped out, throwing the doors to the saloon open so hard they nearly came off their hinges. Mark followed him to the doors and watched the man stomping down the sidewalk to where he’d left his horse. When he was satisfied Nathan wasn’t coming back, he turned to go back. He held out his hand. Adam grasped it and Mark pulled him to his feet.

  Adam swayed and Mark grabbed on to him. “Whoa. Slow down. I’ve got you, buddy. I’ve got you.”

  Mark wrapped one arm around Adam’s waist and pressed his other hand against the man’s chest. “Steady, steady, old man.”

  Sam approached them. “You okay, Adam? What was all that about?”

  Mark answered for Adam. “Everything’s okay, Sam. I’ve got him.”

  “You take him home. Make sure he gets there safe.”

  “You know I will.”

  Sam watched Mark helping Adam through the swinging doors, rubbing his towel on his hands, a worried look on his face.

  Adam swayed as Mark helped him to his horse.

  “Do you think you can ride, Adam? Can’t have you slipping off the horse and hitting the ground.”

  Adam pulled in a deep breath. He shook his head to clear it, putting one hand on his forehead. “I gotta sit for a minute. Can’t ride yet.” He said.

  “I’ll wait with you. Sit here.” Mark lowered him to a wooden bench outside the saloon. Adam sat hard and leaned forward, his head in his hands.

  “I didn’t see anything, Mark. I didn’t see anything wrong with her. Why wasn’t I watching her more? I should have seen something. I should have protected her.”

  Mark sat next to him. “You can’t do this to yourself, Adam. You can’t listen to Nate when it comes to this. You both lost someone you love and it hurts. I lost both my folks when their wagon turned over into a ditch. The whole wagon went over on them. I thought maybe I could have done something. But I wasn’t there. There was no way for me to stop what happened.”

  “Not the same. She was my wife. I should have…”

  “Stop. You couldn’t have. You can say 'should have' all you want. However, it won’t change what happened. I believe you when you say you didn’t see anything. I wasn’t around all the time, but she seemed healthy to me. She seemed healthy to everyone. No one could have predicted this. You can’t do this to yourself. Come on, buddy. Get yourself together. You gotta get home to your kids. Take a bath. Drink some coffee. Get to bed. You got anything to do tomorrow? We’ll have a picnic with you and the kids. Your in-laws will come around eventually. Give them time to grieve.”

  He slapped Adam on the back several times, which only served to annoy Adam. He was still holding his head in his hands and struggling to get his brain to focus. He took a few more deep breaths and lifted his head.

  “I gotta get home. I want to see my kids.”

  “All right. I’ll ride with you; make sure you get there safe.”

  Adam nodded and forced himself to stand. If he couldn’t stand, he couldn’t ride a horse, that was for sure. He pushed himself to walk to his horse and yanked himself into the saddle using every muscle he had.

  He watched as Mark mounted his horse and walked the animal up next to him.

  “You good to go, Adam? You got it?”

  Adam nodded without answering. He gripped the reins with one hand while holding onto the saddle horn with the other. “Let’s go, Musty. Come on, take me home,” he leaned forward and murmured into the horse’s ear. Musty flapped his ears, snorted, and turned when Adam pulled the reins to the right.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  MISSY PROVIDES COMFORT

  MISSY PROVIDES COMFORT

  Adam stumbled through the door to his small shack, knocking over the lantern on the table next to the door. It was not lit but one of the glass panes shattered. He walked past it, barely noticing it, and went through the door to his bedroom under the stairs to the loft, where his children would be asleep in their beds. Without a word to Missy, who was in the kitchen rinsing dishes in a big barrel of water, he flopped onto his bed face first and just laid there. His arms spread out to his sides and his face buried in the blanket, he began to sob.

  He tried to stay quiet, not wanting to wake up the children. He heard when Missy came in the room and felt the movement of his bed when she sat down. She placed one hand on the back of his head and lightly rubbed his hair in a soothing way.

  “Adam. Adam.”

  He knew she didn’t have any idea what to say. Nothing would comfort him in the state he was in. He was ashamed and his face burned with regret. He reached up, grabbed one of his pillows, and pulled it down so that he could rest his forehead on it. He pushed the fabric of the cover into his eyes in an attempt to stop the tears.

  “It’s all right, Adam, you can cry. It would be unhealthy not to, and I think we’d all be a little worried if you didn’t feel the way you do. I wish I could say something to comfort you, but I don’t have the words. I really wish I did.”

  He nodded into the pillow. Whether she knew it or not, her words had comforted him some, at least in a way that would allow him to let out his pain through his tears. His large shoulders rocked as he wept. He continued to cry for nearly ten minutes before he felt a headache lurking behind his eyes and decided he needed to stop. His mind was still foggy from the drink and all he wanted to do was pass out. However, thoughts of Holly wouldn’t go away. He was sure to see her when he slept in his dreams, where he would beg her to stay with him, not to leave him again. She would be as beautiful as ever, telling him everything was all right but that she couldn’t stay.

  Missy stayed beside him, running her fingers through his hair and speaking softly to him, telling him what the children had eaten and how good they had been. She related funny things Riley had said and assured him that though they were in pain, they were handling it well.

  “You’ll want to talk to them some more about this, Adam.”

  “Not tonight.” He mumbled into the pillow.

  She shook her head. “No, certainly not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. And you should talk to them about it every day. Don’t act like you don’t want to remember her. They won’t understand that. They’ll think you didn’t love her.”

  “Nate attacked me tonight.” Adam said, still not lifting his head from the pillow. He felt Missy’s hand come to a stop on the back of his head.

  “Pardon me?” She said in a hardened voice.

  “He attacked me. Punched me in the head. Said I didn’t do my job as Holly’s protector. I didn’t take her to the doc or get her checked out or notice her pain.” He flipped over and stared at Missy. “But she wasn’t in any pain, Missy. I swear she wasn’t. She never complained of any pain. She never…”

  Missy shook her head vehemently, putting her hand on his cheek. “Now you stop that talk, Adam. There is no way
you could have kept this from happening, even if you had taken her to the doc. If it was her heart givin’ out or something like that, you couldn’t have helped her. It… It was her time to go, Adam. You must try to remember that.”

  Adam looked away from her, directing his eyes out the only window in his room, focusing on the many stars in the night sky. “That’s what Mark said.”

  Missy nodded. “Mark is right. You were a perfect husband to Holly and a perfect dad to Max and Riley. They only have you now, but what a blessing you are for them to have. They are very lucky to have you as a dad, just like they were lucky to have Holly as a mother.”

  “I tried to be good to them all. I love… loved having my little family.”

  “You built this house for Holly and the kids, even before you knew you had kids. You took good care of them before… all of them, including Holly… give Nate time to come to his senses. You know he’s hurting. People handle that kind of thing in different ways.”

  Adam nodded. The movement made sharp pain shoot through his head. He lifted one hand to his head and groaned.

  “You’re going to be feeling the effects of drinking that much for a couple days, Adam. I didn’t even know you were a drinking man.”

  “I’m not,” Adam shook his head in denial. “But it helped me forget for a time.”

  Missy got a look of doubt on her face. “It seems to me that a couple hours playing cards and drinking isn’t very long of a distraction.”

  “You’re right.” Adam almost nodded again but stopped himself. His head would be thumping in the morning… later that morning, he thought, since it was well into the wee hours already.

  “Do you think you can sleep? Do you want some coffee?”

  “No, no coffee. That will keep me awake. I need to sleep.”

  “You need to pass out, that’s a fact. I’ll stay if you want and make you and the children breakfast, if you’d like. I know you won’t be much in the mood to do it.”