Handsome Widower’s Second Chance

by Elliee Atkinson

  “I’m so glad, honey. I’m proud of you.”

  “Do you want me to read to you, Daddy?”

  Adam grinned at her. “Of course, dear. But not right now. You have to get to school. Maybe when you come home tonight, you can read to me before bed. Would you like that?”

  “Oh, yes! I’ll bring home my favorite book from school!”

  “That sounds wonderful.”

  “All right, here you go, Adam.” Missy came back from the kitchen and set a plate with two toasted bread slices on the table with a fresh cup of coffee.

  “Thank you, Missy.”

  She nodded up at him, holding her hands out to the children. “You’re welcome. Try to rest up. Come along, children. Let’s leave your daddy to his breakfast. We’ll be late if we don’t leave soon.”

  Adam gave his children hugs and a kiss on the cheek. He followed them to the door and watched as they walked up the path toward town. He remembered walking with Holly and the children to town nearly every day. Sadness filled his heart and he turned away from the sight of another woman leading Max and Riley toward town.

  He went back in the house and closed the door behind him. The toasted bread was cold when he got to it, but the coffee was piping hot. He sat down and took two large bites from one of the bread slices, chasing it down with a swallow of coffee.

  Despite the energy coffee typically gave him, he was overcome with exhaustion by the time he was finished with the bread. It settled well in his stomach. He didn’t think he needed to worry about it coming back up. He pushed the chair back with his knees, picked up the plate, and took it into the kitchen, setting it in the large basin with the few dishes Missy didn’t do. He carried the coffee cup to his room and set it on the table next to the bed, dropped down on the bed, and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ALICE AND CAROLINE TALK

  ALICE AND CAROLINE TALK

  It was early afternoon when Adam woke from his sound sleep. He felt somewhat refreshed and as hungry as he’d ever been. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, stretching his arms above his head, listening to his back click as he straightened it. “Well, that doesn’t sound good,” he murmured. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and slid off, standing up. He stretched again. His headache had cleared up, but he could still feel a small throbbing from where Nathan’s fist had met the side of his head. He rubbed it softly and walked out of the room to the kitchen. He started a fire in the stove and set a pot on top, pouring his coffee in it to reheat it.

  While he waited for the liquid to heat up, he went to the back door just beyond the kitchen and opened it. He stepped out on the back porch steps and looked out over the field behind his house. The sun was burning bright in the sky. There were no clouds at all. He focused on the patches of dirt spread through the field, which was dotted with a variety of cacti, bushes, and large rocks. It was not like the fields in Wisconsin that he’d played in as a child. It was dry, hot, and lacking in the same colors he remembered. Wisconsin’s green meadows and beautiful flowered trees were stamped in his memory forever.

  He stood there for five minutes, gazing at what he considered to be a beautiful landscape. Just before he turned to go back inside, he pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He spotted a roadrunner dashing across the plain. The bird was small and quick. He grinned at the sight.

  He went back through the door and looked at the coffee in the pot. It was just beginning to steam. He dipped a finger in the liquid and decided it wasn’t quite ready.

  For the next five minutes, he wandered around the house, trying not to think that Holly would have been ashamed of his behavior the night before. He was feeling sick to his stomach, though the bread Missy had given him had satisfied the deep hunger in his belly that combated the nausea. His head, though no longer spinning, was cloudy and he could feel the pain seeping through. He lifted his hand and pressed it against his forehead. His skin felt hot.

  “That’s what I get,” he grumbled. “I’ll have to take today off work just to recover.”

  He changed his clothes as quickly as his weak muscles would let him and went back to the kitchen for his coffee. It had reached a soft boiling state. He used a piece of square cloth to move the pot from the fire and grabbed the mug from the counter.

  After refilling his coffee, he went outside to sit on his porch steps to watch the birds, rabbits, and squirrels that populated the area around his home. All he really wanted to do was go back to bed.

  He recounted the conversation with Nathan that morning. It pained him that his in-laws were so upset with him. They were his only family, the only connection he had with Holly’s childhood. They were the only adults who knew his wife in the intimate family way he did. He didn’t want to lose their friendship. He didn’t want to lose the chance to see them, talk to them, and have dinners with them.

  Adam wondered if he should take a chance and go see them. Surely, even if Nate had filled them in on what he thought was going on, they would listen to him. He’d been like a son to them. With Kyle going back to Wisconsin, he had no family left other than his children and his in-laws in Wickenburg.

  He struggled to clear his head. If he was to go see them, he didn’t want to have a mind filled with mud.

  Nate busted through the door with a red face and stomping feet. Alice had been sitting at the table in the dining room, sipping a cup of tea, and eating a snack. She’d just come back from the schoolhouse, where Missy had informed her of the confrontation that morning. She wanted to hear it from Nathan’s point of view, but firmly believed the woman when she said there was nothing going on between her and Adam.

  Alice had always had a great deal of respect for Adam. Holly had never said anything unkind about him. She’d never complained about anything Adam did or said. It had been such a solid marriage, Alice found herself somewhat envious, but she had never admitted to such a thing to anyone.

  She stood up with her tea and went to lean against the door jam, gazing at her angry brother over the rim of her cup. “Where have you been?” She inquired.

  “Just around town,” Nate responded. “Why?”

  “I heard you visited Adam and the children early this morning. Did you really punch him at the Horse N Saddle last night?”

  Nate grunted. “Yeah, I did. So, what?”

  “Why would you do something like that?”

  “He should have known something was wrong with Holly. He was her husband!” Nate threw himself on the settee next to the front window and turned his head so he could glare through the glass at the bright sky outside.

  Alice came into the room and sat on the edge of a chair facing him. She cupped her hands around the tea mug and rested it on her legs. “He isn’t a doctor, though, is he?”

  “No, but he doesn’t have to be. Whenever Mama or Papa has an ache or a pain, we always know it. We can see it even if they don’t say anything.”

  Alice shook her head. “I think you are being too harsh on Adam, Nate. You don’t understand women.”

  Nate turned his glaring eyes to his sister. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “You are nearly thirty years old and have not been married. I don’t think you plan to get married.”

  “That doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about women.”

  “I didn’t say you don’t know anything about women. I said you don’t understand us. And you don’t.” Alice shrugged and took a sip from her cup.

  “So because I chose to not get married, you think I don’t understand women? That’s not true. Even if I don’t understand women, as you say, that doesn’t mean Adam doesn’t. He did get married. He married our sister. Don’t you care about that? How can you not be outraged that he didn’t try to save her?”

  “How are we to know what could have been going on in that marriage? We weren’t there every minute of the day to observe.”

  Nate pulled himself into a sitting position so quickly, Alice felt a jolt of fear.
She hoped Nate hadn’t seen it. “Why are you taking his side?”

  Alice shook her head. “I’m not taking his side. I’m staying neutral. You don’t know if Holly ever even gave him a sign that something was wrong. She may have suppressed her pain or she may not have even been in pain. There’s no way we can know and we have no right to judge.”

  “I’m going to judge!” Nate yelled. “I have every right to judge! She was my sister! She was your sister! How can you not be upset?”

  Alice looked up when her mother came into the room.

  “What is all the yelling about?”

  “Settle this for us, Mama,” Nate said, his voice still high-pitched and angry. “Don’t you think Adam should have known something was wrong with Holly and taken her to the doc for a check-up?”

  Alice watched as her mother crossed the room and sat on the settee beside her son. She put one arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. “Oh, Nathan, I know you are feeling this to your very soul. However, you have to understand that there was nothing Adam could do. He didn’t know to take her to the doctor. By all accounts, she was healthy until this happened. Even if he had taken her to the doctor, there’s no guarantee the problem would have been found.”

  “I cannot believe that the two of you don’t get it. If I’d been her husband, or if she had stayed here with us, we would have seen something. We would have known and been warned and taken her to the doctor.”

  Caroline shook her head. “I’m sorry, my son, but I can’t place blame on Adam. He has done nothing wrong.”

  “And he’s in a lot of pain, Nate,” Alice said. “He’s lost his wife. The relationship is very different from ours. We grew up with her.”

  “Maybe you think that’s true. But it’s not,” Nate replied stubbornly. He shot to his feet, once again scaring Alice, who shrunk back and then recovered quickly. “I’m not going to hit you, Alice!” Nathan yelled. “You women are impossible! Where’s Papa? I want to talk to him!”

  “He went to the general store to get some supplies.” Caroline answered. “Go look for him there. And maybe the two of you can have a talk.”

  “I know he will agree with me, even if the two of you don’t!” Nathan stomped back to the door and was out before another word could be spoken. The women stared after him until the door slammed behind him and then they looked at each other.

  “Mama, why is he acting this way? Surely this is just a temporary reaction from him. How can he blame Adam?”

  “He’s very angry,” Caroline nodded. “But he will have to get through this however he can.”

  “Do you remember when Holly told us that Adam’s brother, Andrew was killed in a horse accident when he was a young man? Adam has already been through this kind of pain. He knows exactly what Nathan and I feel, losing a sibling. Now he’s lost his wife. I can’t be angry at him. I know he never meant any harm to Holly. He loved her so much.”

  Caroline nodded. “He truly did love her. I don’t think he is to blame. Doc Brown said these things happen sometimes. He’s seen babies and children die for no apparent reason. Something was just wrong with something in their body. We aren’t made perfect, unfortunately, and we succumb to health issues. That is just a part of being alive.”

  “Should we go see him, Mama?”

  “Adam? I don’t know. Do you want to go see him? Do you think he is at work? We could go to the lumber mill and talk to him for a bit.”

  “I don’t think he went to work. I saw Missy at the schoolhouse. She said he was still at his house.”

  “Oh? That’s strange. I’ve never known Adam to miss a day of work.”

  “He went to the saloon last night with Nathan and Mark.”

  “Is his brother still in town?”

  “I think he left right after the funeral.”

  Caroline nodded. “If you feel we should go to see him, that would be fine. I have had to be a rock for your papa. He’s not taking this very well. He loved Holly so very much. And he still does. He always will.”

  “Yes, I know.” Alice dropped her eyes to her lap, noticing that her tea was now cold.

  “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, Alice. Or that he’d feel any differently should he lose you.”

  Alice gave her mother a weak smile. “Oh, Mama. I’m not upset that Papa is missing Holly so much. I miss her, too. She was… such a bright night star. She was so loving and kind to everyone.”

  “There was something going on we didn’t know about. We cannot blame ourselves.”

  “I don’t. Moreover, I don’t blame anyone else. I wish Nathan would see it that way, too.”

  “He will eventually. He will see his error and he will be friends with Adam again. They truly need each other right now. Adam was like his brother, and since he has no other brothers, he should reach out to Adam instead of pushing him away and blaming him.”

  “But we can’t control it. We have to let him grieve in his own way,” Alice nodded. “I know, Mama.”

  “It is a shame to see such anger and hurt in my son. I wish this had not happened. For so many reasons. We will all miss Holly for the rest of our lives. We can only wait…” Caroline’s voice caught in her throat. Alice looked closely at her mother and saw that her face was crumbling in a sea of tears. She hurried to set her tea cup on the table next to her chair and she moved to the settee to hold on to her mother. She wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly.

  “Oh, Mama, oh, Mama.” Her own tears stung her eyes before sliding down her cheeks.

  Caroline put one hand on her daughter’s arm, lowered her head, and sobbed. “My beautiful little girl,” she said through her tears. “Now I must wait for the rest of my life to see her again.”

  “I know, Mama. Me too.”

  “It is inconceivable that my child could be taken so soon for no reason. She had so much life to live. There was so much she could have accomplished. How grateful I am to God for the two beautiful grandchildren she gave me. I will treasure them. And you and your brother. And everyone I love.”

  “Yes, Mama, me too.”

  “I have to carry on. I have to be strong.”

  “Not all the time, Mama,” Alice whispered, holding her mother as close as she could. “You don't have to be strong all the time.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  A PICNIC TO REMEMBER

  A PICNIC TO REMEMBER

  Musty walked slowly down the trail toward town. Adam was determined to speak to his in-laws, to explain himself, even though the pain of losing Holly was so profound and still dominated his thoughts. It hadn’t been long enough for him to even fully process what had happened. He would never see her again.

  Never.

  He pulled back the tears and swallowed hard. He had to be strong. He had to be.

  Halfway to town, he saw a rider coming his way. It was a woman, judging by the way she was riding and her outfit. As the rider got closer, he stopped his horse in shock. It looked like Holly was coming toward him. It took him a moment to recover and realize that it was obviously Alice.

  He choked on the tears that wanted to force themselves out. He cleared his throat and kicked Musty gently to get him moving again.

  Why was Alice coming his way? His heart pounded hard. Was she angry too? Had she come to berate him and tell him how this was all his fault? He didn’t think he could handle seeing Alice, looking so much like Holly, and hearing the vile words come from her mouth. He would have a mental breakdown if that happened. He made Musty move very slowly, so that the horse was barely walking at all.

  “Please don’t be angry with me,” Adam whispered. “I don’t think I can take it.”

  When Alice lifted one hand and waved at him, he felt a sense of relief. She wasn’t galloping over to slap him in the face. He could see that she was trying her best to smile through her own pain. He gave her the same type of greeting, waving, and smiling gently.

  He could see she was carrying a large basket. Once they were close enough to hear each othe
r, she called out, “I brought a picnic lunch. I’m sure you haven’t eaten anything, have you?”

  “Not for some hours,” he responded. When they were side by side, Alice held out her hand and he took it, squeezing for only a moment before releasing her. “Would you like to come back to my house and sit under the big tree? I was just heading in to town to see you and the family.”

  “We can go back to your house or find a field to sit in. I brought a blanket, as well.”

  “It’s up to you.”

  Alice laughed softly. “Easy going as always. Let’s just go right over there. There’s a nice tree and I find I am very hungry right now. I have fruit, ham slices, and bread. Also some tea to drink.”

  “That sounds wonderful, thanks for thinking of me.”

  Alice nodded. “I have thought of little else for the last week. We are all still in shock, I believe.”

  “Yes, I’d say so. Nate is angry with me.”

  Alice nodded again as they moved their horses off the path. She slid down, swinging the basket over the horse’s back and setting it on the ground. She pulled the blanket she’d been sitting on down and spread it over the grass. “I know. I saw him this morning. I saw Missy at the schoolhouse, too.”

  “Did she tell you what happened?”

  “Yes, she did.”

  “And about last night at the saloon?”

  Alice’s cheeks turned red and she blinked at him. “Yes, she told me about that, too. Are you all right?”

  Adam snorted. “I’ve been hit harder. However, never by someone I care about and about something I couldn’t help. He is not thinking straight.”

  “I was just going to say that. You must forgive him. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling right now. He has to blame someone or he will explode. It’s the confusion that’s getting to him. The fact that it could not have been prevented.”

  “I feel like everywhere I go and everything I do from now on will be tainted with pain and sorrow. I feel guilty when I smile or have something to laugh about. I feel like I don’t deserve to be alive when Holly is not.”