by Anne Baker
He turned to the property pages. There was little to rent, and dare he attempt to buy a house? He shivered at the thought. He wasn’t planning a lifetime career, only one lasting a few months until he could get into the firm’s bank account. Finding a new home would need more thought, more money and probably more study.
The next morning Leo went to a theatrical costumier and bought himself a pair of spectacles with heavy black frames and clear glass lenses, and then went straight to the library to look for a book on accounting procedures.
Chloe had been looking forward to going with Adam to Wentworth’s auction rooms, which was in the suburbs on the other side of Manchester. He always seemed to enjoy the auctions he went to and she was keen to know whether the proposed visit to Liverpool would be possible.
The sale day was a wet Thursday morning. Apart from a quick pram push to the local shops, this was Chloe’s first outing with her three-week-old baby. They arrived early because Adam wanted to be there when his furniture went under the hammer. He knew a lot of the people in the trade and was walking round talking to them, leaving her and the children sitting on the end of the back row in the packed hall.
Chloe was trying to keep Lucy amused with the toys she’d brought, but she was more interested in the Steiff teddy bear and antique dolls that would shortly go under the hammer. Zac was restless in this strange place, though she’d fed him before coming. She was finding the waiting tedious.
Her eye was caught by the scene reflected in a row of gilt-framed mirrors hanging along the wall. She was able to pick herself out, but she wasn’t flattered. Her hair was untidy and badly in need of a trim and she looked hot and harassed and older than her twenty years. She would have liked to take off her new blue anorak, but Zac had regurgitated his feed on the pullover she was wearing underneath.
Lucy chuckled with delight when she too noticed their reflection. She snuggled closer to Chloe, pulling faces and waving at herself. ‘That’s me, Mummy.’ In her best pink coat and bonnet with golden curls showing round it, she was a very attractive toddler.
At last the auctioneer announced the first of Adam’s lots, ‘Fine-quality mahogany dining table.’ Zac chose that moment to start throwing his arms about and making ticking noises, which Chloe recognised as a sign that he was about to cry. She picked him out of his carrycot on wheels, hoping to forestall him. The place was already noisy enough for those trying to hear what the auctioneer was saying. Zac opened his mouth and let out a wail of protest.
In an effort to comfort him, she lifted him to her shoulder, rocked him and patted his back. He belched audibly and followed that by expelling another mouthful of his feed down the back of her new anorak. Knowing she’d failed to get his wind up after his feed made her feel incompetent as a mother.
Zac began to cry in earnest, and Chloe was afraid he must still feel uncomfortable. She stood up, knowing she’d have to take him out; his cries of distress were disturbing others. She laid him back in his pram and, catching hold of Lucy’s hand, tried to take them both out, but Lucy refused to walk past the Steiff bear and wriggled free, lifting her arms towards it.
‘No, love, you must come with me.’ Chloe took her hand in a firmer grasp and half dragged her towards the door. Lucy let out a scream of protest and started to jump with rage. Now both her children were crying noisily and people were turning to stare at them.
Chloe turned to look imploringly at Adam; she wanted his help, but his handsome face was flint hard and his lips mouthed the words ‘Get them out of here.’
Now Lucy tossed herself down and drummed her heels on the dusty floor in a full-blown temper tantrum. Zac joined in his sister’s crescendo of screams. Picking up her squirming and kicking daughter, Chloe tucked her under her arm and pushed the pram to the door. It was a relief to get out into the busy street, with the rain cooling her cheeks. Mortified with embarrassment, she stood Lucy on her feet and brushed what she could of the dust and dirt from her back.
‘Don’t you dare lie down on this wet pavement,’ she told her. ‘It’ll ruin your pretty coat.’ Lucy was still playing up. ‘I’ll spank you if you do. You’ve even got dust on the back of your bonnet.’
But she couldn’t stay out here in the driving rain; they were getting drenched. She pulled up the hood on her anorak and drew back into the porch. The advice they handed out at the clinic for dealing with a temper tantrum was to ignore the child, walk away from her and deny her what she wanted.
Chloe sighed. That was hardly practical here. An old lady also sheltering in the porch offered Lucy a jelly sweet. But that would be a reward, so Chloe had to say no thank you, and try to comfort her daughter with hugs instead.
Zac was quietening down and looked as though he might doze off. Chloe had a big bag of baby equipment attached to the pram and was able to drag out Lucy’s rain cape and reins. Once she had those on her daughter, she felt she’d be able to cope.
She was angry with Adam for refusing to help. What did he expect her to do now? He’d brought them here in his shooting brake, but if he was planning to stay much longer, she thought she might try going home on the bus. She pushed open the door to the hall and was in time to hear his chairs being knocked down for a price she knew would please him.
An elderly couple came out. ‘Do you know what the Georgian table made?’ Chloe asked, but they shook their heads. It didn’t matter; it had reached its reserve before she went out and the bidding had still been going up. Adam would have made enough to buy her a train ticket to Liverpool.
Her eyes searched him out in the crush of people at the back of the hall. Yes, there he was, with his back towards her and his attention firmly fixed on a slim young girl in a red pullover. Chloe wheeled the pram inside and headed towards him.
As she drew near, she heard him say persuasively, ‘We must do it again. What about tomorrow night?’
She felt her stomach lurch. The girl had seen her, and said to Adam, ‘I’d better get back to the office.’ She turned on her heel and left.
He replied, ‘I’ll come and see you before I go.’
It was only when Lucy swung on the bottom of his jacket and said, ‘Daddy, want to go home,’ that he noticed them. He seemed shocked to see Chloe so close.
‘Who was that?’ she asked.
He recovered his suave manner immediately. ‘She’s the cashier here.’
Her heart was pounding. ‘Pretty girl,’ she said. Did Adam have a new girlfriend? She was afraid he might have.
‘Good prices, you can go to your mother’s.’
‘Are you going to stay here much longer?’
‘For a while.’
‘Want to go home.’ Lucy tugged at him again.
‘Not yet, there’s a nice pair of decanters coming up soon.’
‘In that case,’ Chloe told him, ‘I’ll try and get back on the bus.’
‘Shouldn’t be too hard,’ he said. ‘You need to get back to the centre of the city, then catch the usual bus to Didsbury.’
Chloe’s knees felt shaky as she pushed the pram to the nearest bus stop.
Riding on the bus, Zac went to sleep and Lucy was sulky. Chloe was distressed; she felt as though her life was falling apart. Adam had told her that when he went out without her in the evenings he met a group of his old schoolfriends, men he’d known for years who enjoyed each other’s company. But now it seemed he’d found another girlfriend, and that made everything a hundred times worse. Chloe didn’t know if he was serious about the girl, but it had sounded as though he was spending a lot of time with her.
‘We must do it again,’ he’d said. ‘What about tomorrow night?’ What else could that mean?
Chloe fretted that if what she supposed was right, Adam would not want her living here with him. He didn’t seem to care at all for his children; they didn’t fit into the life he wanted to lead. The future suddenly looked frightening.
By the time she reached home, she felt exhausted and absolutely drained of energy, but she knew she’d feel
better if she ate. Ruby had been and the house was neat and tidy. Chloe was heating up some soup she’d made yesterday when the phone rang. It was her mother.
‘How are you all?’ she asked. Chloe couldn’t tell her the truth; she was too uptight and she had to be sure of Adam’s intentions before she said anything. She made herself sound more upbeat than she was.
‘Everything’s fine, I’m just tired. I’ve talked it over with Adam and I’d love to bring the children and stay with you for a week.’
‘Good, when will you come?’
She knew it would take four days for the auction room to pay out, and then it probably meant a cheque in the post. ‘How about the middle of next week?’
‘That’s excellent. There’s just one thing. I’ve had to let Aunt Goldie come and live with me.’
‘Mum! Have you got room for all of us?’ Chloe had been blithely supposing that she could use the spare room for Lucy and have Zac with her in her old bedroom. She’d even thought about going to live there permanently, if things got any worse.
Mum didn’t sound too happy either. ‘We’ll all squeeze in. Marigold’s in the spare room, but I’ll make up a little bed on your floor for Lucy. I’m glad you’ve decided to come.’
‘I thought you didn’t want Aunt Goldie with you?’
‘I was being silly, afraid we’d get on each other’s nerves, but she’s been a wreck since she had her purse and key stolen. Rex changed the lock on her front door, but that didn’t help. You saw how upset she was. Somehow she can’t put it out of her mind. Poor Marigold, I couldn’t hold out against her any longer.’
‘Are you sure it’s all right? Me and the children coming too? It’ll mean a lot of work for you.’
‘Of course it’s all right, Chloe. I’ll love having you here. I can’t wait to see how the children have grown.’
Chloe put the phone down feeling as though Aunt Goldie had cut the ground from under her feet. How could she possibly suggest to Mum now that she move in with her permanently?
All the same, she was glad she’d be having a week away from Adam. Things were getting a bit strained between them. He never stopped carping about the mess and the noise the children made in his house. She packed the necessities for a week away, and tried not to think about the future.
The night before she left, Adam didn’t come home until nearly eleven. Chloe had fed Zac and was settling him down for the night. Adam lost no time in getting into bed and seemed to be asleep by the time she got there. He’d agreed to take them to the station the next morning.
Chloe was up early to get the children ready and to make their breakfast. Adam said little until they were all in the car, then as he put it in gear and pulled away, he dropped a bombshell.
‘Chloe, I’d rather you and the children didn’t come back.’
‘What?’ She’d been rushing round to get them ready in time and felt flummoxed.
‘You heard. I don’t want you or your kids back here. We aren’t getting on any more, are we?’
‘But you can’t put us out like this, on the spur of the moment.’
‘It’s not the spur of the moment for me. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. Everything’s gone sour between us, so what’s the point of carrying on? You aren’t happy any more, in fact you’re as miserable as sin. A pain in the neck really.’
Chloe gripped the edge of her seat. ‘I can’t stay longer than a week. We won’t have enough clothes, and there’s all the children’s stuff.’
‘I’ll pack everything up for you and leave it in the conservatory. You can send somebody to pick it up.’
Chloe couldn’t get her breath; she felt in shock. ‘But I’ve no money, how am I going to manage?’
He reached in his pocket and brought out a wad of notes, which he flung on her lap. ‘This should get you started. Anyway, your mother’s got plenty of money. She won’t see you starve.’
Chloe felt as though he’d kicked her. Tears were stinging her eyes.
‘You’ve got another girlfriend?’
‘What if I have? You don’t want to come out with me. You’ve been no fun recently.’
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHLOE SPENT THE WHOLE train journey gripped in a void of cold terror. She couldn’t stop her teeth chattering, although the carriage was warm. She couldn’t believe Adam would do this to her. She’d loved him and thought he loved her. He’d said their arrangement was exactly the same as marriage but without the ceremony and the certificate. She’d assumed that meant it was permanent.
‘Mummy crying?’ Lucy tugged at her sleeve. ‘What’s matter?’
Chloe was conscious of nearby passengers turning to look at her. ‘Just something in my eye,’ she whispered, and was glad she could bury her face in Zac’s shawl. She couldn’t think straight.
‘Want to sit on your knee, Mummy.’ Chloe put Zac back in his carrycot and took comfort in hugging her daughter and responding to her baby talk.
She felt no better when the train pulled into Liverpool Lime Street. The elderly man who’d been sitting opposite helped her lift the carrycot containing the sleeping Zac down to the platform. Gripping Lucy’s reins firmly, she looked round for her mother, who’d said she’d meet her.
Helen, wearing a smart red coat, was waving to them from behind the ticket collector. Chloe knew she’d have to tell her what had happened and throw herself on her mercy. She’d nowhere else she could go.
‘Nana,’ Lucy shouted. ‘Hello, Nana.’
But though Mum kissed them all and gave them a warm welcome, she was not in her usual happy mood. ‘Marigold can be a trial,’ she said, taking charge of their case and hurrying them towards her car. ‘I’m sorry she has to be with us. I meant you and me to have a lovely relaxing week. You look as though you could do with a rest.’
Lucy was gripping her grandmother’s coat and told her, ‘Mummy crying,’ but her words were not heard.
‘Marigold never throws anything away, you know,’ Helen went on, ‘and she’s brought so much stuff with her. I’d no sooner got her installed in the spare bedroom . . . D’you know what she said?’
Chloe was beyond saying anything.
‘“It’s silly, isn’t it, to squeeze me into the box room, when Chloe’s bedroom is empty?” I had to remind her quite sharply that you come to stay for a few nights once in a while. She said, “I can move out when we know she’s coming.” So I’m glad you’re here to prove my point.
‘Lucy, my pet, I’ve got you a car seat. I thought I’d better get one to keep you safe. Let me lift you in. There now, we’ll soon be home.’
Chloe climbed into the passenger seat. Her eyes were prickling and she was struggling to control her tears.
‘You’re very quiet.’ Her mother glanced up from the road. Chloe could hold them back no longer. Tears streamed down her cheeks. ‘Chloe, darling!’
‘Mummy sad,’ Lucy said.
‘I’m in terrible trouble, Mum,’ she wept. ‘Adam doesn’t want us to go back, and I don’t know what to do.’
She felt the car’s momentary jerk. ‘You’ve had a quarrel?’ Anxiety scraped in her mother’s voice.
‘It’s more than that.’
‘Darling, a week apart and it’ll all calm down. You’ll both feel differently.’
‘Mum, it’s over between Adam and me. I can’t go back and I’ve nowhere else to live.’
Chloe knew that had registered as a shock. There was horror in Mum’s voice. ‘You can live with me, you know that.’
‘Careful, Mum!’ Chloe felt a moment of panic, but the brakes slammed on and Mum stopped an inch away from the back of a bus.
‘I’m so sorry this has happened,’ she said. ‘Let’s talk about it when we get home. You mustn’t worry, I’ll see you’re all right.’
Chloe’s bedroom had always been a place of refuge when she was in trouble, though it didn’t seem quite the same, with the mattress for Lucy on the floor in the corner. She put the carrycot down on her bed and sank dow
n beside it.
Her mother came running up with their suitcase and bags and threw her arms round her. ‘Marigold’s looking after Lucy. Tell me what’s gone wrong.’
Chloe felt terrible. It took her a long time to get it all out. She wept on her mother’s shoulder and felt a large handkerchief being pushed into her hand.
‘I’ve left everything behind, all our clothes and the pram and cot. How am I going to get them here?’
Adam’s business meant that they were always arranging for goods to be picked up or delivered. She knew how to arrange it, but she also knew what it would cost.
‘Ask Rex,’ Helen said. ‘He has a van, he’ll be only too glad to help you.’
‘Are you sure? It’ll take up his time, and then there’s the petrol . . .’
‘Diesel. You could offer to pay for that, but he’ll want to do it.’
Chloe took out the roll of money Adam had flung at her and counted it.
‘You’ll be all right.’ Mum patted her hand.
‘But this is all I’ve got,’ she wailed. ‘And I’ve two children to bring up now. I feel terrible throwing myself on you like this.’
Her mother touched the roll of money. ‘You’re not penniless.’
‘Adam’s given me a hundred pounds.’
‘There you are, then.’
‘I don’t know if there’ll be any more.’
‘Of course there will. It’s his duty to support his children.’
Chloe shivered. ‘I’ve a feeling this is all I’ll get.’
‘Chloe darling, you mustn’t be so negative.’ Helen walked round the room and came back. ‘I can make you more comfortable here. Oh dear, if only you’d married him.’
Chloe sniffed. ‘Right at the beginning you warned me, you said we must get married.’
‘It would have made you both think harder before you’d decided to part.’
‘We weren’t getting on, Mum. Staying with him isn’t an option any longer. I’ve been scared about what he’s doing. Afraid the police will catch him and we’ll both find ourselves in court charged with fencing.’