Belonging

by Shiloh Walker

  He dipped his head and nuzzled her neck. “You might as well. I’m not going anywhere until you do.”

  “Sex.” The world tumbled out of her before she could stop it. Swallowing, she stared straight ahead, focusing on the warm gold of his skin.

  “Sex?” he repeated, slowly.

  She shot him a look from under her lashes. “Yes. Sex. I was…damn it.” She squirmed in his arms and said, “Give me some room, Levi. This is hard enough.”

  He let go but didn’t back away. She also had the feeling that if she tried to move away, he’d follow. So instead of trying to move past him, she turned around and studied the wall in front of her. Just get it over. Act like you’re talking to a doctor or something. I can handle talking to a doctor, she thought. Or better yet, she’d just pretend she was jotting it down in a diary or something. With her gut crawling and twisting with embarrassment, she made herself talk. “I needed sex. I…something about what I am now, I go through these stages where I want sex. A lot. Usually…”

  Oh, man… She squeezed her eyes closed. “Usually I just use a vibrator. I haven’t ever liked sex and I couldn’t see myself just trying to proposition one of the guys here. But it was bad that night, very bad. Like I was almost sick with it and nothing was going to help except…except, well…the real thing.”

  “As in sex? You were in town just looking for sex and somehow stumbled across me.”

  Levi shoved away from the wall and put a few feet between them. His chest felt strangely tight and his heart was a leaden weight. He rubbed a hand over the ache but it didn’t do anything to help. “So, is that something you do a lot?” The question slipped out before he could stop it. He didn’t want to know the answer. Didn’t want to know—

  “No.”

  He started breathing again. Eyes burning, he turned and made himself look at her. He believed her. It even helped a little.

  Only a little, though. That emptiness inside expanded as he stared at her. She had her arms crossed over her chest and she stared at the floor as though the answers to the universe were embedded within the carpet. “You didn’t even know it was me,” he said softly. He blew out a harsh breath and rubbed his hands over his face. He wanted out of this place. Out of here. Away from her. Get to someplace quiet and empty where he could try to figure out how to repair the gaping hole in his chest.

  Levi wouldn’t have thought he could hurt like this. All over a few minutes of empty sex. He’d hurt four years ago, when he watched them shovel dirt into an empty grave and a million what-might-have-beens had danced through his head. He’d had feelings for Cori for a while but never acted on them and the one chance he’d had, he hadn’t done anything. There would be no second chances. Then Owen’s slow slip away from reality, culminating in his death. Shit, he ought to be immune to pain at this point, right?

  She didn’t even know it was me.

  Some part of him whispered, But you didn’t know it was her, either. But Levi wasn’t much in the mood to be fair, think fair, feel fair. He felt like he’d taken a sucker punch and he didn’t really give a damn about being fair. He swallowed the knot in his throat and made himself look at her. Four years ago, he hadn’t done something and he’d paid for it. Cori had paid for it. Owen had paid. Levi wasn’t going to leave this undone. He needed to get the words out, get it done, and then get the hell out of here.

  “Do you remember that last Christmas? Before you broke things off with Owen.”

  Was it just him or did she suddenly look a little paler? A little more nervous? Slowly, she nodded. “You were wearing this gold dress and kept toying with your necklace. And you had the saddest look on your face.”

  She wasn’t looking at him now. She was staring at the floor again, concentrating on it, just so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

  Fine by him. Levi really didn’t need to see her face as he humiliated himself. “I didn’t like seeing you look that miserable. All I wanted to do was make you smile a little. Maybe make you laugh. You always laughed when I teased you, even while you blushed and tried to hide it. That was the only thing I wanted to do. But then I kissed you, and you moved…everything changed for me that day. Everything. But it didn’t change for anybody else. Just me. You were still Owen’s lady, and you never really talked to me unless I started a conversation. You never looked at me unless you had to. I was nonexistent. The day you broke things off with Owen, I felt like a fucking asshole because all I could think about was the fact that since you didn’t belong to Owen anymore, I might have a chance. Then that night…”

  He paused and took a deep breath. She still wasn’t looking at him. His heart clenched painfully and he turned away. “That night, I didn’t want to let you leave. I wanted you. But it didn’t feel right. I spent the past four years of my life hating myself over that. If I’d done what I wanted, maybe none of this would have happened.”

  “Levi…”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t recognize you either, at least not all the way. But something inside me knew. You were the first person, in four damn years, to make me feel much of anything besides grief and guilt.” He snorted. “But all you needed was a dick. Hope it helped, Cori.”

  He reached for the doorknob.

  But before he could open it, Cori was just there. So fast—almost like magic. Poof. She had her back pressed to the door and when he tried to tug it open, she leaned back harder. Levi narrowed his eyes. “I’m done here, Cori.”

  “I’m not.” She gazed at him, something he couldn’t quite define shining in her eyes. She caught her lower lip between her teeth, a familiar nervous gesture, one he’d seen a hundred times before. “Do you remember that day at the river, when you asked, why then? Why was it I suddenly knew I had to call things off with Owen?”

  Instead of answering, he crossed his arms over his chest. It kept him from doing something stupid, something that would humiliate him. Like grabbing her. Or going down on his knees and begging…for what? He didn’t even know. Nothing made sense right now. Not the emotion choking him, not the pain ripping through his heart and not the way she stared at him with that weird sort of wonder and doubt.

  “Do you remember?” she persisted.

  “Yes.” There was actually very little he didn’t remember about Corinne Lewis. Part of him wondered if he hadn’t recognized her that night in the alley. At least on some level. Quick, anonymous sex in an alley, fun as it might sound to some, just wasn’t his thing, or at least, it hadn’t been until the night it happened with Cori. The sound of her voice, the scent of her body—if he hadn’t been so drunk, he just might have realized something seriously strange was going on. Well, stranger than his having sex with an unknown woman in an alley.

  Even thinking about it had his dick swelling. He wanted to grab her. But the ache in his dick was nothing compared to the ache he had right square in the chest. He clenched his hands into fists and waited.

  She took a step toward him. He fell back a step. Had to keep some distance. It was crucial.

  But she followed him. For every step back he took, she took one more forward. He planted his feet. This was ridiculous. Setting his jaw, he snapped, “Whatever you’ve got to say, just say it so I can get the hell out of here.”

  She touched her tongue to her lower lip, then in a low, unsteady voice, she murmured, “It was you.”

  “What was me?” he said, his mind going blank. What had they been talking about…the Christmas party, he thought.

  She cleared her throat and then squared her shoulders. Lifting her chin, she met his eyes dead on and said, “You asked me why I was suddenly so intent on ending things. It was because of you. The night of the Christmas party—” her voice broke off.

  Oh, hell, no. You aren’t stopping there, darlin’. He took a step toward her.

  Now it was her turn to back up. Narrowing his eyes, unable to control how gruff and raspy his voice had gotten, Levi said, “What about the Christmas party?”

  They were back where they’d started,
by the door, with her back pressed against it and Levi in front of her. Bracing his hands on the door, he leaned in and nuzzled her neck. “What about that night, Cori?”

  She sighed, a shaky, soft sound that sent shivers and tongues of fire dancing all over him. Hungry and female. “I loved Owen,” she said softly, her eyes closed.

  He darted a glance at her and started to push back. His spinning head suddenly changed direction and he couldn’t quite get his bearings.

  Then she opened her eyes and smiled at him. “I loved him. He was my best friend. But I didn’t feel anymore than that for him. When he touched me, it was like…well, nothing. I felt nothing.” Then she reached up and touched her finger to his lips. “I thought it was me. I was even okay with that. But then you kissed me…”

  He had to do it again. Cutting her off in mid-sentence, he crushed his mouth to hers. Shooting a hand into her hair, he wrapped the long strands around his wrist and held her still. He gorged. He feasted. He could have maybe even cried…but caution had him pulling back, had him lifting his lips from hers and staring at her from beneath his lashes. “So, basically I turn you on?”

  Cori blinked, her eyes unfocused, a little dazed. Then she scowled. “I think it’s a little more than that. I can turn myself on if I need to.”

  The knot in his chest loosened. The look in her eyes made a little more sense. He dipped his head and nipped lightly at her ear. Rubbing his body against hers, he whispered, “I bet you have more fun if I do it, though.”

  “Well…maybe.” She blushed.

  “So if it’s not just that…what is it?” he asked, straightening and pulling away from her. Not because he wanted to stop touching her but because he had to see her face. Had to see her as he asked.

  “I’m not sure.” Her smile wobbled and then fell away. “I think I might know…but…I don’t know.”

  Liar, Cori thought as she stared up into his whiskey eyes. She did too know. She just didn’t want to admit it. It felt too weird. Felt too new. She brought up her hands and rested them on his shoulders. Under her hands, the muscled ridge felt hot and smooth.

  He kissed her, this one so soft and light, so gentle, it brought tears to her eyes. “But it’s there, right? Something?”

  “Something,” she agreed. Something huge. Something possibly fantastic. Staring up at him, she whispered, “Maybe we could just see what happens. See where this goes.”

  “Hmmm…maybe.” His next kiss wasn’t so gentle. Wasn’t so soft. But that was okay. Cori didn’t have time for soft and gentle. She was too needy. They fought their way free from their clothes, swearing, laughing, then groaning as bare flesh pressed to bare flesh.

  Levi lifted her in his arms and braced her back against the door. “A bed next time. A real bed.”

  “There’s a bed right behind you,” she said, her voice caught between a laugh and a moan. Then he pressed the head of his cock against her and the ability to speak faded away.

  “No…right now, like this. Bed’s too far away,” he muttered, covering her mouth with his.

  She swallowed down the harsh, hungry growl and then sucked his tongue into her mouth. He pushed inside, hard, thick and throbbing, stretching her sensitized flesh, heating her—no, burning her from the inside out. All that heat. She wrapped her legs around his hips, locked her ankles just above his butt. She arched her back and moved with him. “Levi…”

  “Cori,” he teased, nipping at her lower lip. “Fuck, it’s really you…”

  The dazed, delighted awe in his voice might have her blushing under any other circumstances. But just then, that raspy, demanding growl only served as fuel for the fire, shivering along her skin like whiskey-soaked velvet. He slanted his mouth against hers, kissing her again as he hooked his arms under her knees, opening her wide.

  She cried out. Levi pulled away and stared down, watching through slitted eyes as he fucked her. His cock, red and glistening from her moisture, jerked demandingly as he pushed back inside, slowly. One slow inch at a time. Cori whimpered and arched her back, tried to ride the stalk of flesh that penetrated her. Desperate, she clenched down around him.

  Levi stiffened.

  Watching him through lowered lashes, she did it again.

  He swore and slammed into her. Hard, harder—wet flesh slapped together. Harsh, broken moans and throaty sighs. Cori felt the orgasm settling deep inside, right in the pit of her belly and as the flared head of his cock stroked against her G-spot, that heat grew and grew. Expanded. Threatened to devour and consume.

  Then he tore his mouth from hers and growled her name. His head came down and then there was a hot, fiery flash as he sank his teeth into her shoulder. That hot, sweet pain was the last thing she needed.

  She climaxed with a cry and shuddered, whimpered and sobbed her way through it, twisting, arching and riding the cock within her. Levi collapsed against her and rested his head against the wall. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

  But they didn’t stay there for long. Levi shoved away from the door and lifted her in his arms. He stumbled to the bed and then stretched out beside her, keeping one arm snug around her waist. “Don’t…don’t go anywhere, okay?”

  She rubbed a hand down his arm. “I won’t.”

  “Good.” He sighed and kissed her shoulder. “You feel right there. You feel like you belong.” And then he was drifting off to sleep, the strain on his healing body weighing down on him.

  Belong…closing her eyes, Cori curled into him. Yeah. She felt right there. For the first time in twenty-eight years, she really did feel like she belonged.

  About the Author

  They always say to tell a little about yourself! I was born in Kentucky and have been reading avidly since I was six. At twelve, I discovered how much fun it was to write when I took a book that didn’t end the way it should have ended, and I rewrote it. I’ve been writing since then.

  About me now...hmm... I’ve been married since I was 19 to my high school sweetheart and we live in the midwest. Recently I made the plunge and turned to writing full-time and am looking for a part-time job so I can devote more time to my family—three adorable children who are growing way too fast, and my husband who doesn't see enough of me...

  Shiloh welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.

  Tell Us What You Think

  We appreciate hearing reader opinions about our books. You can email us at Comments@EllorasCave.com.

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  Discover for yourself why readers can’t get enough of the multiple award-winning publisher Ellora’s Cave.
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