The List

by Alice Ward

  I just didn’t feel it. My heart still hammered, and there was a giddiness flooding my entire system.

  I’d gone too long without the touch of a man. That was it. I’d been so busy working two jobs, just trying to pay rent and impress Crumbs’ manager, that I hadn’t even thought of dating in, like… God, I didn’t know how long.

  I’d stopped thinking about it. That was the real answer. It had been a little over a year since I last saw Jesse. Our surprise break up kind of killed my desire to ever interact with another man again, much less share a meal with one.

  But I couldn’t think about that anymore. Snatching up my mascara and lipstick, I dropped them into my clutch. This night was about having fun, not about dwelling on the past.

  I exited the bathroom, took two steps, and stopped short. A man walked down the hallway, his broad shoulders seeming to tower halfway toward the ceiling. My heart flipped and then stopped beating altogether.

  It was the air around the man. It crackled like lightning, causing me to freeze in shock.

  It was him. The man from the balcony.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Xavier

  She stood a few feet away, full lips parted as her brown hair kissed bare shoulders. She was more girl than woman. Or maybe not. A second passed, and the innocence in her face transmuted into something more mature. She lifted her chin slightly, probably not even knowing she was doing it. Brown eyes seemed to penetrate me, daring me to make the first move.

  It was a good thing calling the shots happened to be my specialty.

  “Did you enjoy the show?” I asked.

  A second passed. “Yes. It was wonderful.” Her voice was light and sweet but with a slight rasp to it.

  “We have them nearly every night.”

  I took a step forward, inviting her to do the same. She stayed glued to her spot on the carpet.

  “This is my first time here,” she explained, licking her lips, nerves showing in the gesture.

  “I know.” Her eyes widened, and I gave her a slow smile to let her know I wasn’t a danger. “Xavier Fields. I’m one of the owners of Enigma. In case you’re wondering, I make it my job to notice our guests.”

  “Oh.”

  A bit of disappointment resonated in the single syllable.

  “But I do have to say… I noticed you the second you walked through the door.”

  Her cheeks flushed, and her eyes fell to the carpet. Heat ripped through my veins even though demure wasn’t usually my type. I liked a woman who knew what she wanted, but this girl brought something fresh to the table. She had a doe-like quality shining from her brown eyes.

  Add that to her trim, tight body, and I was done hunting for the night. This girl was going home with me. And we were both going to love every hot, sweaty minute of her visit.

  I extended my arm in invitation. She bit down on her lower lip and hesitated.

  Maybe she won’t be so easy after all.

  “Come on,” I told her. “I don’t bite. Who are you here with?”

  Her dark lashes fluttered as she looked back at my face. “My roommate.”

  “Let me get you a table upstairs.”

  Her breathing changed, growing more rapid as I took another small step in her direction. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to.”

  She still didn’t move, but I could tell she was having a deeply physical response to my close proximity. Her chest rose sharply with each breath, and she kept licking her lips. She was probably sopping wet between her legs. But for some reason, she still wouldn’t touch me.

  I gazed into her brown eyes, daring her to resist my offer one more time. All it took was one look. She stepped forward and lightly rested her fingers on top of my forearm.

  “What’s your name?” I asked.

  “Riley.”

  “Riley.” I rolled the name over my tongue. “Let’s go find your roommate and get this night started right.”

  Riley took me to the bar, where her roommate sat swaying to the piano music, and introduced us. A sharp nod and flick of my eyes toward the upstairs area let Fernando know I desired a table. He removed the rope from the best balcony section, and I led Riley and Ann-Marie upstairs. The second girl was just as hot as the first, but there was something missing about her. She didn’t have the wild, untamed rawness of Riley. I didn’t know if it was innocence or general cautiousness, but I liked it. She presented a challenge, something new to be conquered.

  We settled onto couches as a synthetic beat began. The bass rumbled through the floor and traveled up my legs. Though the club often had dance music late at night, we kept it at a classy level. One of the things my three partners and I agreed on upon opening Enigma was that the club needed to possess a degree of refinement that was rarely found.

  One of the waitresses appeared almost immediately with my preferred vodka. She mixed three drinks and then left the alcohol, soda water, and garnishments in a bin of ice. I leaned back in my seat and studied the young women across from me.

  Ann-Marie crossed her legs and took a hearty sip of her drink. Riley mimicked her, clearly needing the fortification. They were nervous and probably questioning exactly why I invited them to hang out with me.

  “This place is so nice,” Ann-Marie gushed.

  I inclined my head in acknowledgment, but my eyes were on Riley. She looked back at me from under her lashes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I gave her my best slow smile, the one proven to draw a woman in.

  “Are you students?”

  Riley shook her head. “No. I graduated last year.”

  Ann-Marie bumped her shoulder against Riley’s. The music was getting louder, and she had to raise her voice. “She wants to be a pastry chef.”

  “Is that so?”

  Riley’s face took on a softness. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t have any real experience. I studied science, planning to go on to vet school. After graduation, I realized what I really want to do is open a bakery. I mean, I think I knew that all along, but just never let myself admit it. You know?” Her shoulders relaxed as she talked. With the conversation on what she loved, she’d entered her element.

  “I do know,” I agreed. I wasn’t a man prone to questioning my own motives, but I could clearly see how others made it a habit. It was an unfortunate way to live.

  “My parents were pretty annoyed. But it’s not like I ever had the chance to even talk about what I wanted. They both want me to be a veterinarian, simply because that’s what they are.” Riley downed half her drink. Judging by how quickly she was chilling out, it was a safe bet that she didn’t drink much.

  “You run this club all by yourself?” Ann-Marie asked me.

  “No. There’s a manager. And technically, I only own one-fourth of it. It’s more of a hobby than an actual business endeavor.”

  The track faded into the next one, and Ann-Marie’s knees bounced.

  “You should go dance,” Riley told her.

  She quickly shook her head and darted her eyes in my direction. “I’m good.”

  Riley swirled the small amount of liquid left in her glass. “You clearly want to dance.”

  “Come with me.”

  Riley laughed. “In this skirt? With my two left feet? Yeah, right. Just go.”

  I got the sense the conversation was about to turn personal. Hooking my elbow over the couch’s armrest, I gazed out across the bottom floor. Half a dozen more people had entered the club. I didn’t see any sign of Julian, though he should have been here by now.

  “We’re supposed to stick together,” I heard Ann-Marie say.

  “We are,” Riley argued.

  “I think you’ve had a bit much to drink.”

  A heavy pause followed, then some murmuring I didn’t understand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ann-Marie get up and leave the table.

  “Everything all right?” I asked Riley.

  Her cheeks flushed, and she gave me a tight smile. “She just worries a lot. But it’s fine.
She’s like this all the time.”

  “It’s nice that you have someone to worry about you.”

  Riley looked at me like she’d never considered the thought. “Yeah. I guess it is.”

  I clasped my hands together and leaned forward. “Trust me. It is.”

  Riley stared at me, confusion on her face. She couldn’t understand why I’d said what I did.

  Neither could I.

  Clearing my throat, I straightened my back. “Would you care for a private tour?”

  She glanced over her shoulder at Ann-Marie, who danced with a guy I didn’t recognize. “I don’t want to worry...”

  I reached out and took Riley’s hand. Instead of pulling away, like I half expected her to, she leaned toward me. The table between us was narrow, with little more than a foot separating the couches.

  “I’ll make it worth your time.”

  I didn’t know if she could even hear me over the music, but the look on her face provided the only answer I needed. Her lips parted and her eyes half closed. I bridged the rest of the space between us and pressed my mouth to hers. The softest lips I’d ever experienced gave against mine, and heat shot through my mouth and down to my dick.

  I lifted my free hand up and pushed my fingers through her hair. Riley’s lips opened more, inviting me to seize new territory. But just as I slid my tongue across her teeth, she pulled back. Her mouth broke away from mine, and her hair left my fingers.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  Her brow furrowed like she was in pain. “I’m sorry. It’s late, and I really need to go.”

  My whole chest seemed to spasm. “We don’t have to—”

  “It’s fine,” she hurriedly said, not looking at me. She grabbed both her and Ann-Marie’s purses and stood up. “Thanks for the drink. I have an early morning tomorrow, so I really need to go.”

  I made my voice as smooth as I could. “Riley.”

  But she was already rushing away. I sat and watched as she grabbed Ann-Marie’s arm. The redhead shot me a quick glance and nodded. I stood as they passed the table.

  “Thanks for an awesome night.” Ann-Marie smiled. “I had fun!”

  I opened my mouth, but it was bone dry as the girls rushed down the stairs and vanished. A strange, new kind of adrenaline pulsed through me and I clenched my hands.

  I’d been rejected.

  A ball of fury spun in my chest. I knocked back the rest of my drink and slammed the glass on the table before stalking for the door on the far wall. Damian, one of the security guards, nodded and opened the door for me.

  I moved down the short hallway and threw the door to the second office open. It hit the wall with a bang.

  “Jesus. What’s wrong with you?”

  Julian sat on the leather couch, his arms crossed and his feet up on the coffee table. Behind him, lights from the building across the street illuminated the window. In front of him, the wall-mounted flat-screen simultaneously showed four different sections of the club. I gave the screen a quick scan but didn’t see Riley or Ann-Marie. They’d left the club for good.

  “You’re just up here watching the security cameras?” I growled.

  “And waiting for something good to happen.”

  I crossed the room and helped myself to a drink at the bar. “You might as well go home. It’s a bust down there.”

  He chuckled. “No prospects this evening?”

  I downed a gulp of vodka and joined him on the couch. “All these girls are so stuck-up.”

  Even as I said it, I didn’t believe it. Plenty of girls might be stuck up, but not Riley. She didn’t leave because she had a stick up her ass. She left because she was… what? Afraid? Nervous?

  “If you’re in need, you know where to look.”

  I wrinkled my nose in distaste. My eyes drifted over to the desk and the computer sitting there. “Has anyone been added?”

  Julian shrugged. “Don’t know.”

  I set my drink down next to his feet. “That’s a twenty-thousand-dollar coffee table.”

  “And these are three-and-a-half-thousand-dollar loafers. Go pull up the list.”

  His stupid comeback pulled a chuckle out of me. Even when I sank into my worst moods, Julian’s nonchalance had a way of smoothing me over. I went and settled myself at the desk, then typed in the password to get myself to the computer’s home screen. Once there, I used a second password to open the file.

  There was only one copy. It was an agreement the four of us made when we were first kicking around the idea of starting a list. Just because we were all right with sharing information on the women we’d slept with didn’t mean that we were all right with the whole world knowing we did it. If people were aware of how readily my friends and I exchanged women, my real estate empire would take a blow that would be very difficult to recover from.

  I performed a search for new information. Each subject came complete with a name, a short description, a photo, and information on where to find the woman. There was nothing new.

  I pushed my chair back from the computer in disgust. It wouldn’t matter if there was a new girl on the list. I wouldn’t be interested in her, anyway.

  Not unless her name was Riley and she came with chocolate-brown eyes and cotton candy pink lips.

  “This isn’t any help,” I announced, going back to the couch to finish my drink. The list was supposed to be an easy way to allow Julian, Seth, Davis, and I to acquire women. The concept, put simply, was that having a file cut out a significant amount of time spent hunting. When we had a craving for a certain type of woman, all we had to do was open the database, type in a search word, and bang.

  Since all four of us were men with no interest whatsoever in starting long-term relationships, it made sense. As far as rules, there were only two. If you slept with a woman, you put her on the list — unless you had plans to make her your official girlfriend. Most importantly, you never shared the list with anyone. Ever.

  I finished my drink and ran my hands through my hair. I was tired of the club, but not yet ready to go home. Riley’s departure had left my mouth with the kind of sour taste I’d rarely experienced.

  “Darts?” I asked Julian.

  Before he could answer, the door opened and Seth strode in. “Hey bros, how’s it hanging?”

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

  Seth scoffed. “That’s not a very friendly greeting.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “You said you were going to Costa Rica.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “Got tired of it. There’s nothing new going on there.” He went to the bar and poured himself some bourbon.

  “Where did you get the tan and highlights then?” Julian asked. “You been hitting the salon?”

  I guffawed, and Seth shot Julian an angry look.

  “Your hair is lighter,” I said, noting the platinum streaks in Seth’s blond hair. “Did you go to the place on Fifth or the new beauty parlor down the block?”

  “Whatever,” Seth grumbled. “You douches are just jealous. You’re up here scratching your balls, and I’m about to hook up with two chicks.” He took a drink. “Don’t worry, though. You’ll get your chance. I’ll put them on the list once I’m tired of them.”

  Speaking of tired, I was already exhausted from Seth’s bullshit. I turned my attention back to the television, still holding onto the small hope that Riley would return to the club.

  I knew it probably wasn’t happening. Most girls would have never even left. Most girls would be halfway home with me by now, busily unzipping their dresses in the back of my limo.

  But Riley wasn’t most girls. And now I was paying for letting her get away.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Riley

  Ann-Marie didn’t speak the whole way to the train. I knew her gears were turning, and she was waiting for the right moment to say something, but as we descended the steps into the subway station, I didn’t even care. I already regretted leaving Enigma, and I hated the feeling.
>
  I could still feel Xavier’s lips pressed against mine. It was like they’d burned my skin. Marked me.

  It was May and warm, but I wrapped my arms around myself as we stood on the platform and waited for the train. It arrived with a screeching that split my ears. Even as the doors opened, I considered changing my mind and not going home.

  I could turn around and go right back to Enigma.

  If Xavier kissed me, he certainly wanted more. And why shouldn’t I give it to him? No one was stopping us from hooking up.

  Except for me.

  I didn’t turn around. I got on the train and fell into a seat next to Ann-Marie.

  “I’m proud of you.”

  I turned my gaze to her. “Huh?”

  “He’s a player.”

  Though I was thinking the same thing myself, I bristled at her words. “You don’t know that.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “Riley. Come on. He owns that club. He got us a table. I saw him kiss you. We weren’t at a church meet-and-greet for singles. Something tells me Xavier isn’t in that club every night looking for his soul mate.”

  I sighed. “I know. And I guess I instinctively knew that the second he touched me. I just let myself get swept away for a minute.”

  “Of course you did. The guy is gorgeous.”

  I didn’t have anything to say to that. I was feeling worse by the second. It had been almost six months since I’d had any action of any kind, and the last time wasn’t even good. It was with a guy who used to work at the bar I waitressed at. What we went out on probably didn’t even qualify as a date, since it was tacos and margaritas with three of our coworkers. The night ended with me going home with him, sleeping over, and realizing in the morning that I’d made a terrible mistake.

  It wasn’t an experience very unlike the current night’s. Except this night, instead of cheap tequila, I’d drank vodka that probably costed as much as my rent.

  “He was hot though,” Ann-Marie murmured.

  I sighed again. “Yep. You said that.”

  “Hey.”

  I looked her square in the face. “Hey.”

  “If you want to go back there, find him, and go home with him… I won’t judge you.”