The List

by Alice Ward

  “Riley.”

  The voice came from Dan, who hovered in the doorway to the bakery. Behind him, our pastry chef, Dominique, gave instructions to one of the bakers rolling out the dough.

  I plastered a smile on my face. Dan, the front house manager, wasn’t one of the staff’s favorites, but I tried to be nice around him. I wasn’t here for minimum wage and the day’s leftover French rolls. I wanted to climb the rungs and hopefully be promoted to working in the back. Since I technically didn’t have any education or official experience in baking, that meant I had to wait until someone deemed me worthy enough to take under their wing.

  I was pretty sure Dominique still didn’t know I was alive, so for the time being, getting ahead meant pleasing Dan. A lot of the hiring in the bakery happened in-house. People were getting promoted and switched to the other departments all the time. If I was nice and worked hard, I knew I’d get my chance sooner or later.

  Dan scratched his chin. “Kelsey called out late. Can you work till Blake comes in?”

  “What time is that?”

  “Four.”

  My heart sank. “I have to be at my other job at three. I’m sorry.”

  “You can’t get off?”

  I hesitated. I probably could get the night off. It was Saturday, which meant it was the real money making night. Most of the other waitresses would be more than happy to take my shift.

  But I also needed it. Crumbs didn’t pay my bills. Wearing a tight dress and serving cocktails to businessmen did. On the other hand, I needed to make some real progress in my chosen career. The month before, Dan recommended one of the cashiers to help Dominique out in the kitchen. That could have been me. It could still be me.

  “I can do it,” I blurted out. “I’ll find someone to cover my shift. I’m sure it won’t be that hard.”

  “Good girl,” he said like he wasn’t at all surprised I was bending over backwards for him.

  He left for the front, and I rushed out to order my meatball sub. While it was being made, I dialed Kim, one of the waitresses who worked a couple days a week. I got lucky with the call. She was available and eager to work. As I hung up my phone, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad. I could easily be giving up two hundred dollars by letting my shift go. That was money I could use to put toward my family’s vacation to Ireland next summer. Or money I could use to buy myself a new pair of nice work sneakers.

  I reminded myself what I was doing it all for and got back to the bakery. The afternoon proved to be just as busy as the morning. While I worked, I visualized the long-term goal. I saw my own bakery, a beautiful corner one in Greenwich Village. Or maybe Williamsburg. I wasn’t too picky. By the time four o’clock rolled around, the imagined place seemed real to me. I could see the yellow and blue pansies in the windowsill and smell the cinnamon rolls rising. I was aching, tired, and broke, but I no longer regretted my decision to stay at Crumbs.

  Blake was late, and I ended up staying till five. Unfortunately, Dan wasn’t there to see it since he left a little after his own lunch break. I reminded myself that he’d see I put in extra time when he came in the next morning and checked the computer’s log. Untying my apron, I stepped away from the cash register so Blake could take my place.

  “Excuse me, what’s your specialty?” a male voice asked from behind me.

  As of thirty seconds before, I was off the clock. I almost let one of my coworkers answer, but something about the voice drew me in. It was eerily familiar. Turning around, I came face-to-face with none other than Xavier.

  His deep gray eyes drew all the air out of my lungs. For a second I couldn’t breathe or think. Standing in front of me was a man I thought I would never see again, whether I liked it or not.

  When I did speak, the answer wasn’t the witty comeback he was probably looking for. “Our chocolate croissants. They’re really big, and they have a ton of, uh, chocolate...”

  Heat flooded my cheeks. I sounded like such an idiot.

  “Chocolate is good,” Xavier agreed from across the counter. He looked at the apron in my hands. “Are you taking a break?”

  I swallowed hard, wringing the poor fabric between my fingers. “I’m actually getting off right now.”

  The pleasure that flooded his face made my heart swell with joy. Or lust. It was probably lust. “Care to go for a drink?”

  “Um...”

  He grinned. “Just a drink. No kissing.”

  I felt my coworkers, Mira and Amy, watching me, probably wondering why this hot guy was giving me attention, but I kept my eyes on Xavier. “How about coffee?”

  Not only could I use a jolt of caffeine, I was also not in the drinking mood. I was a lightweight, and I had a suspicion that even the small amount of alcohol the night before impaired my judgment. It was best if I stuck to staying completely sober around this incredibly sexy man.

  “Coffee sounds great,” he answered.

  “Great,” I repeated. “Great.”

  I made my feet move before I embarrassed myself by saying “great” a third time. Going into the staff room, I grabbed my purse and met Xavier on the other side of the counter.

  “Shall we?” he asked.

  I nodded, and he held the door open for me, his hand on the small of my back to guide me through. He possessed all the manners of a gentleman, but I had to wonder how respectful a playboy could truly be. If he was sleeping with a different girl each weekend, wouldn’t it mean that he held no real respect for womankind?

  “There’s a good coffee shop right up here,” I said, pointing the direction but not looking at him. His presence felt so intense, his heat so strong, that walking next to him was like being pulled into a strange, magnetic force field. Looking at him was hard. Running away impossible.

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  I bit down on my lip. I needed to say what was on my mind before I lost my courage. “How did you find me? Did you hire a private detective or something? Or did you have someone follow me home and then to work? Because I have to say, it’s pretty creepy.”

  I glanced over at Xavier. He just looked back at me with humor in his eyes. “That’s a pretty long answer for ‘How was your day?’”

  A sharp exhale left me. This guy, who I possessed very conflicted feelings about, had very suddenly shown up at my place of work. There was absolutely no reason he should have known that I was at Crumbs. Put simply, I was not in the mood for playing games.

  “Facebook,” Xavier finally admitted. “I looked you up on Facebook.”

  “Oh.” I took a second to absorb that. “Did you add me?”

  I didn’t know why I asked the question. I guess it just seemed like the next logical thing to say.

  “I don’t have an account, but your profile is public. I saw you post a picture of cupcakes this morning and write that you were working all day. There was a link to Crumbs’ page. It was all pretty simple. No real detective work involved.”

  “Oh,” I said again. If I ever once looked like an idiot in my whole life, it was right then. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of stalking me or anything. I mean, I know I said that you were being creepy, but that was harsh. I wasn’t thinking.” I bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself from talking.

  “It’s all right. It’s funny, actually. You have a lot of information up. For instance, I also know that you work at a bar called Joe’s Tavern and that you have a penchant for cat memes.”

  “Great,” I answered, my cheeks burning like fire. I decided that the minute I arrived home, I was getting on all my social media accounts and deleting anything and everything that could be even remotely embarrassing.

  “Don’t worry, I mean that in an endearing way. Is this the place?”

  We’d arrived at the coffee shop without my noticing. There was no line, and we went right up and ordered plain coffees. Xavier pulled out his wallet before I could protest.

  “Let’s call this the start of an official date,” he suggested.

  My heart
thumped loudly. An official date? Could it be that Ann-Marie and I had it wrong about him? Or was that just wishful thinking? One date didn’t make a committed man. Players took girls out on dates all the time.

  And then they screw them and never call them back.

  We took our coffees and settled into two armchairs in the corner of the place. We’d hit the shop at a good time. Usually, the place was so busy there was a slim to none chance of nabbing a seat.

  “It’s nice here,” Xavier said.

  I sipped my coffee and winced when it burned my tongue. “Yeah,” I agreed, taking off the paper cup’s top to blow on the drink. “I come here a lot in between shifts.”

  “You work doubles at the bakery?”

  “Not usually. But I go right from the bakery to my second job quite often.” I wrapped my fingers tighter around my coffee and took a more careful sip. The liquid was still dangerously hot, but at least drinking it gave me something to do. It made me feel a little less awkward about this whole situation.

  “And where is Joe’s Tavern?”

  “Williamsburg. It’s a lot closer to my apartment than the bakery, which is nice.” I looked away. Just the mention of my apartment, in which waited my bed, made me self-conscious. It was like I couldn’t say one single thing around Xavier without becoming flustered.

  “You’re a busy woman.”

  I shrugged. “I guess. Look, about last night...”

  “I apologize.”

  I peered at him. “You don’t know what I was about to say.”

  Xavier extended his palm. “Sorry. I stole the floor. I assumed you were going to tell me that I was out of line for kissing you.”

  “No. Not at all.” I paused. Knowing his mind went directly to him being in the wrong made me warm up to him somewhat. “I was going to say I’m sorry for leaving all of a sudden. I just… it’s hard to explain, but you took me by surprise. And it’s not that I didn’t like it… I just...” I shook my head, giving up.

  “My kiss came out of nowhere. I understand. Again, I’m sorry if I was too forward.”

  It was just what I needed to hear. With my next exhale, half of the tension in my body dissipated. “Thank you.”

  Xavier set his coffee down on the table between us. He leaned forward, hands clasped between his knees. His eyes locked onto mine and held my gaze. “That being said, I couldn’t stop thinking about you last night. When I woke up this morning, I knew I had to find you.” One corner of his mouth lifted in a grin. “Luckily, you’re pretty easy to track down.”

  I snorted and broke our eye contact. This man was doing something to me. It felt good, but I knew it was probably bad. If I gave in, who knew how things would end. I’d dated a couple guys who played the game I was fairly certain Xavier was a pro at. So had Ann-Marie. Between the two of us, we weren’t easily fooled anymore.

  “Go out with me,” Xavier whispered. “Tomorrow night.”

  Every emotion possible rose in me. Do it, a little voice in my head whispered. Just do it.

  And I could. One date wouldn’t hurt. The real danger was in sleeping with him. A lot of women would go for it, simply for the sake of breaking a dry spell. But it wasn’t that cut-and-dried for me. If I slept with a man, I ran the risk of getting attached and not being able to move on when he tired of me. If I did go out with Xavier, I’d have to make sure to not let things get physical.

  Fat chance. I’d been celibate for what felt like forever, and the hottest man I’d ever spoken to was asking me out on a date. There was no way I’d be able to control myself around him.

  “You’re worried,” Xavier said.

  I looked at him but didn’t answer. I wanted to speak, but my throat felt swollen shut. I’d never been good at being an open book. I felt safer when people didn’t know what was going on in my head and heart.

  Xavier went on. “I understand. You don’t know me. You probably have assumptions about me.” He watched my face, trying to gauge how correct he was.

  I summoned my courage and cleared my throat. “You own a club.”

  “Yes. I also work in real estate.”

  “What else should I know about you?”

  A dimple appeared on his right cheek. “Go out with me, and I’ll give you any and all the information you’re looking for.”

  “I want some now,” I volleyed back.

  Xavier’s eyes danced, and I smiled. Talking to him was quickly becoming easier than I thought it would be.

  “Like what?” he asked. “You want to know what I do with my free time?” He leaned back into his chair and took a deep breath. His dress shirt stretched tight across his chest, creating a distraction. “I work, and I go to Enigma. Sometimes I go to the gym, but it’s in my office building, so that’s not really leaving work, now is it? Those three activities basically sum it up. I have a multibillion-dollar corporation. I’m not gloating, I’m just sharing the fact to give you an idea of what my life is like. I work all the time. The club is an escape for me.”

  I let his words sink in. He gave me the facts, but I still felt like I didn’t know anything about Xavier, the man. I wanted to know his likes and dislikes, his passions. I wanted to know who he was closest to and what made him the angriest. And I wanted to show him more of myself and see what he thought about it.

  “Tomorrow night?” I asked.

  He gave a single nod. “I wish it could be tonight, but I have a meeting to be at in thirty minutes. It will most likely eat up the whole evening.”

  “I can do tomorrow,” I found myself saying.

  Not a muscle moved on Xavier’s face, but his eyes seemed to light up. “Wonderful.” He reached into his breast pocket and took out a card and pen. “What’s your number and address?”

  I gave them to him and watched as he wrote them down. His handwriting was beautiful, his fingers moving with such surety and control. Did he perform every task that way?

  “Seven o’clock?” he asked.

  I nodded, excitement rushing through me. I was doing this. For real. I could still turn back, but I no longer wanted to. I wanted to take a chance, to live life. I wanted to prove myself wrong about Xavier Fields.

  Xavier checked his wristwatch. “Perfect timing. I need to be going. Can I get you a cab?”

  “No, thanks. I think I’ll hang out for a while.”

  Xavier stood, and I followed suit. He lifted my hand and gave it a kiss. If any other guy had done the same thing, it would have seemed cheesy, but Xavier was a natural. He had an old-time gentleman quality about him, and it didn’t feel forced at all.

  “See you tomorrow, Riley,” he softly said.

  “Bye,” I rasped.

  I watched him turn and leave the coffee shop. My legs were jelly as I sat back down. A long exhale left my chest, and I sat in silence, contemplating all that just happened. I could be making a big mistake. I was trying to protect myself by keeping my distance from Xavier, but it looked like my attempts were all in vain.

  The man wanted me, and he came for me. He didn’t know where to find me, but he’d figured it out.

  And that was enough to make the idea of saying no to him ever again feel absolutely impossible.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Xavier

  The silence in my walk-in closet was tomb-like. If the main part of my loft was a quiet retreat, the area housing my suits, shoes, and everything in between was fit for a monk. I finished securing my sky blue tie, smoothed my hands across my charcoal gray jacket, and left the closet. My driver waited downstairs, the engine idling at the curb.

  A short distance away, Riley waited. I knew tracking her down would be the easy part. Actually reeling her in and getting her to spend time with me more difficult. But it turned out I wasn’t amplifying our mutual attraction. While talking in that coffee shop, I could see in her eyes that she was as drawn to me as I was to her.

  Riley wanted me just as much as I wanted her. And soon, she would be completely mine. At least for a while, anyway. But a short period spent
with her was all I needed. Even the most interesting women didn’t hold my taste for more than a couple weeks.

  On my way to the foyer, I passed my bedroom. A box peeking out from under the bed caught my eye, making me pause. Just seeing the bamboo container made my pulse pick up. Inside of that one box were some of my most treasured possessions. I didn’t break them out on a regular basis, but when I did, it was a special occasion.

  Perhaps Riley…

  I took in a breath and shook the thought from my head. There was no use getting ahead of myself. I still needed to feel Riley out, but I did have a suspicion that she was a girl who wouldn’t be completely appalled at the thought of being dominated. Her personality might contain a strong shy streak, but that was sometimes an indication of a darker desire. The desire to relinquish control. To be consumed and overpowered by someone else. Many women didn’t even know they had that desire in them until they’d gotten their first taste of the wild side.

  I grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys, then left for what was sure to be an exciting night. My hand twinged as I pulled the front door shut. The slight pain was a reminder of the justice I enacted Friday night. I hadn’t spent any time wondering about the man-thug I’d beaten up. I’d been too busy with work and planning my evening with Riley, but I already knew that guy wouldn’t show his face at Enigma ever again. Not unless he had a death wish.

  The drive to Riley’s Bed-Stuy apartment was long, but I passed the time fantasizing about Riley’s skin. At seven o’clock on the dot, the limo pulled up to her brownstone. I hopped from the car, rang her apartment number, and waited to be buzzed in. A minute passed. I was about to buzz again when the front door opened, and a breathless Riley exited the building.

  “Sorry,” she said quickly. “The intercom doesn’t work. I should have told you that. I just ran all the way down here.”

  I took in her loose hair, little black dress, and nude heels. Somehow, she managed to look both innocent and seductive at the same time. She had been delicious looking at the club Friday evening, but this took the cake. The best part was that she was now even closer to giving herself over to me.