The List

by Alice Ward

  I turned to catch up to Worth and only caught the back of his head just going down the stairway to leave the building. I trotted quickly in his direction and finally caught up to him just outdoors. “Worth!” I shouted.

  He stopped and turned, a sardonic look on his face. “Well, if it isn’t Ms. Langford. Hello, Auggie… ruin anyone’s future lately?”

  “You’re coming with me,” I said, running up to him and tugging on his sleeve.

  “Oh, and just where are we going?” he asked. “Don’t you have a date to set up inside?”

  “Forget that and come have a glass of wine or something with me.”

  “Well, now, I don’t know. I was just headed to Joe’s,” he put in, kicking the sidewalk with the toe of his shoe.

  “Joe’s? I can’t go in there, you know that.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Not funny, Worth. Come into the bar here and let’s talk.”

  “That’s odd, Ms. Langford. You’ve been gone several days, a couple of weeks, in fact, without speaking to me at all. Not only that, I seem to have lost an architect and that’s left me in quite a lurch. Wonder how that happened?” His scowl darkened. “I’m residing with a Mr. McLean who expects me to vacate in less than three months and I have no idea how I will do that. Would you like to talk about that, Ms. Langford?”

  I dragged him by the sleeve in the direction of the bar. “Stop your bullshit and let’s talk this out,” I told him, feeling the anger rising in my throat again. He was mad? Well, so was I. And he needed to learn early in our relationship what I would and wouldn’t tolerate.

  He said no more. I suppose he had tortured me enough by that point. We got drinks and settled at a quiet table in the furthest corner. Brandon walked into the bar and looked in my direction. I shook my head at him and he looked disappointed. I can’t say I blamed him as he was the prize steer at the auction and wanted to celebrate a bit — even if it was under odd circumstances.

  “Well, what have you to say for yourself, Auggie?” Worth wanted to know. He obviously hadn’t caught my exchange with Brandon.

  “Why did you give me the song and dance about needing my expertise and sense of responsibility and then undermine me to that woman… telling her I was responsible only for the… the ‘fripperies’ did you call it?”

  He rolled his eyes to the heavens. “Auggie, you don’t understand.”

  “Then why not explain it to me, Worth? Tell me why I thought you had my back and then you flushed me down the toilet.” I was fuming again and aware that my voice had risen and people were beginning to look at us. Coupled with the fact that Worth had just spent a hundred grand renting me a date for the night was bound to be the topic of gossip over many a breakfast table the next morning.

  “Look, Auggie, the woman is brilliant at what she does. Not only that, she has the connections and the crews to get our house done on schedule. We needed her. So, I had to charm her into accomplishing the impossible. She was flirting with me and rather than flirt back, which I knew you’d have a fit over, I decided to throw a challenge her way. If she thought you and I were an item, I couldn’t get her to pander to my needs if she thought it was a lost cause. You see now?” He seemed quite satisfied with his own explanation, not seeing the ethical downside of what he’d done.

  “Worth, first of all, the only person you are to be pandering to, is me. I’m to be your wife, damn it! That is, if we’re still on.”

  “Of course,” he said tersely, as if there had never been a question about that fact.

  I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. “Secondly, you have to stop manipulating people. It doesn’t work like that. I told you to stop it before, that it would come back to bite you because you’re not as good at it as you think you are. I believe I proved that little fact to you over this whole mess. Third, I’d like to know why a project that was to be decided by you and me, together, has suddenly turned into Worth’s project that Auggie is supposed to take second seat to. What else am I to be left out of? Do you think I have nothing to contribute?”

  “Auggie, that’s not true. There are just certain situations that call for techniques, shall we call them, that may not be all out on the table. It’s business and that’s something I learned well from my father. The point is, we’re hoping for the impossible, and she’s the only woman capable of delivering it.” He sat back, convinced that his rationale was the only one that made sense and that I should see the sense in his words immediately. He was wrong… so, so wrong.

  “Worth, we’re going to start over. You’re going to tell me, right here and now, which of the oars in this boat are to be my responsibility. Now and for the next eighty years. If you’re lucky enough to have me agree to them, which means that we’re still going to get married, then you cannot deviate from them… ever… at all. I’m a team player but I have equal say. Do we understand one another?”

  There really was nothing he could find fault with in what I was saying. He had to admit that I had a point and my requests were only fair. Just because it didn’t fall in line with his power-hungry play on the world didn’t mean he couldn’t concede, at least to me. He decided, wisely enough for him, to let me make my point.

  “Okay, Auggie, in this case, you’re right. I should not have overlooked your contributions or undermined your responsibilities. I should not have approached the architect without you at my side, but we had agreed to keep things quiet for now so that was hardly possible.”

  “Agreed,” I contributed.

  “I will not do it again, but you have to stop this high-handed willfulness of yours. I can’t always be wondering whether you’re pissed at something I’ve said or done and are taking it out on me with a dagger in my back.” He was a bit out of breath and I could hear his thoughts were very complete, if not even a bit rehearsed.

  “Very well,” I nodded. “Let’s agree from now on that we keep nothing back from one another. We are stronger together than if pitted against one another. God knows, we’re going to need to be strong when Mother finds out about this.”

  “You have yet to meet my father.” Worth grinned sardonically.

  “What would your father have against me?” I asked, puzzled.

  “Primarily, that you weren’t his idea. Add to that the facts that I moved out without his permission, bought out the clinic and got rid of one of his cronies, but most of all, that he’s getting older and losing his touch. He wants respect and he’s being overlooked. He’s blaming it on you and me, I’m quite sure.”

  I looked at Worth with a question on my face.

  “No, he doesn’t know.” Worth read the look and I nodded in relief. We could only deal with one battle at a time.

  “Okay, peace?” I asked.

  “Peace,” he echoed. “Now, what the hell do we do about getting our house built?” he asked. “After all, I understand you have started a rumor that I’m ruined and unable to pay my debts. That’s pretty serious in our set, Auggie.”

  “I’ll spread it around that I was jealous and just said that to get back at you,” I suggested.

  “Well, that’s pretty much true, don’t you think?” He looked at me as if I was a naughty child. He caught himself at my frown and neutralized the look immediately. That was good. He was learning.

  I reached for his hand. “Let me see what I can do to fix this, okay? It may not happen in three months, but it will be soon, I promise.” He nodded.

  He was going to let me handle it, after all. He really didn’t have any choice in the matter.

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  Auggie

  I suddenly had more on my plate than I could ever remember in my entire life. In fact, if anything, I could feel something building inside my stomach I’d never experienced — panic.

  I had a building project going on at Sunset Village that affected dozens of people in several different ways. I had given my word that the residents would not be affected during construction. I decided to go and visit Mrs. Jessup.

&nbs
p; Before I went there, however, I had some business to clear up. I called her number. “Hello?” answered Beverly Dexter.

  “Beverly, it’s Auggie.”

  “How are you? I have some quotes for you to look over. I thought we might meet at Brandon’s office when you’re both free.”

  I had so much on my mind, including the phrasing of what I was about to say, that I readily agreed. “That’s fine. But listen, Beverly, I have a confession to make.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well…” Geez, this was hard. “At some point in the past, I know you’ve had a spat with a guy and wanted to do anything you could to get back at him, right?”

  “Yes, haven’t we all?” Beverly laughed, thinking she was being invited to play a part in a plan I might have.

  “Well, the thing is, that’s exactly what I did. The first day you and I met, and you told me what Worth said about letting me deal with ‘fripperies’— well, I don’t need to tell you that the remark got to me. You see, Worth and I had a previous agreement about me managing the building of his new house and I was insulted by the way he demeaned me. So, I told you he was broke, ruined… well, you remember all the things I said.”

  There was a long pause and I wondered if she was about to hang up on me. “Yes, I do. Quite well, in fact. I remember being disappointed because I found him quite intriguing and couldn’t believe he’d gotten himself into such a mess.”

  I picked that comment up and followed through. “That’s just it, he isn’t ruined, has more money than ever and he really needs your help to get that house done. What I did was childish and I realize that now. I apologized to him and now I’m apologizing to you. I got your help with the Sunset Village Project under false pretenses. I’m thoroughly and completely sorry and will see to it personally that you are paid for every hour you put into the project, if only you’ll forgive me.” I waited to hear her response. It was a few moments in coming as she digested the impact of what I was saying.

  “Hmmm… yes, I see you’ve made a mess of things.” Her voice wasn’t amused, but not angry, either. Maybe I read her wrong from the very start. “Tell you what, Auggie. I’ll still donate my services at Sunset because I’ve publicly said I would and it would only cause you further embarrassment if this story got around. But in return, I need to get back to Worth and not lose that possible commission as well. He’s well connected and it could be a very favorable thing for my career.”

  “Oh, that’s perfect, Beverly! I promised Worth I would ask you to come back because clearly, this is my fault. I will let his office know to expect you and call you with an appointment time when he’s not seeing patients.”

  “Auggie, if you don’t mind… what is your role in all this? Are you and Worth an item?”

  “It’s not what you think,” I said enigmatically. “Go and talk to Worth — he’ll be excited to see you.”

  Little did I know then the impact those parting words would have on my life to come.

  ***

  I got into the car, glad for its warmth and headed for Sunset Village to visit Mrs. Jessup. I found her in the dining room, sitting alone in the corner of the room. There was a half empty cup of tea in front of her and I was suddenly ashamed that I’d been so caught up in my own life that I had ignored hers.

  I carried a tray with a fresh cup of tea, two sugar-free pastries I’d purchased at the local bakery and a small vase with some flowers. Just beyond her, the windows framed the flakes of the first snow. I knew this was a tough time of year for the elderly. They were often victims of seasonal affective disorder, simply not getting enough sunlight. It was too cold to take her outdoors in her chair, but I made a mental note to ask Beverly whether we might include broad windows and even some skylights in our addition. I then thought that an indoor arboretum would be a wonderful feature as well.

  “Hello, Mrs. Jessup,” I greeted her, setting down the tray and putting the pastry in front of her. Her eyes lit up and she reached upward to hug me.

  “I’ve missed you, Auggie,” she began with childish delight. “Although I can say I’ve heard your name bandied about a great deal.”

  “You have? Then you know about the plans for the building and grounds?” I asked.

  “Oh, yes… the word on the street,” she lifted her hand sideways as if telling a confidence, “is that you are quite the force to be reckoned with. I’ve even heard whispers about Worth LaViere.” She smiled in her personally charming manner. I thought for a moment how horrible it will be to get old, to be discounted for everything you say or do. I vowed to somehow overcome that. I just had no idea how at the moment.

  “Really? What is the street saying?” I asked, amused as I stirred a packet of sugar into my tea.

  She had the grace to blush a bit, sipping her own tea and taking a tiny bit of the pastry I’d given her. “They’re saying the two of you are in a relationship,” she confided, although the look on her face was not exactly one of congratulations.

  I noticed this but decided it was due to the fact that Worth had made such a spectacle at the bachelor auction. “So, you heard what happened at the auction, I take it?” I asked, my eyes trained on her face.

  She nodded. “A bit disgraceful, dear.”

  “Perhaps, but it was for a very good cause,” I said, patting her hand.

  “I don’t think you fully understand, my dear,” she said, leaning closer to me.

  The snow was getting heavier and I briefly wondered how we would break ground with bad weather setting in earlier than normal this year. “How do you mean, Mrs. Jessup?” I asked idly, not really paying attention.

  “You shouldn’t get mixed up with the LaVieres, my dear,” she said and it took a moment for her words to sink into my consciousness.

  “Oh? Why do you say that?” I asked, half concentrating.

  “It would bring up a most unfortunate affair and hurt a great many people, your father, most importantly,” she said quietly.

  This snapped my attention to the present and what she was saying. “Whatever do you mean, Mrs. Jessup?”

  “Dear, I wouldn’t bring this up, except there are some things that while better left buried, have the potential of rearing their ugly heads and perhaps it’s my job to try and prevent this. I can’t do as much as I used to, now that I’m here… but you’re here, too. I can tell you,” she said, looking at me for a reaction.

  Suddenly I felt a cold chill and looked at her. “Mrs. Jessup, please tell me what it is you’re dancing around. If it affects me, I have the right to know.”

  She sipped her tea, enjoying her moment in the spotlight as would anyone who had been retired from society’s pivotal position. “My dear,” she said, patting the back of my hand, “the senior Mr. LaViere and your mother once had a torrid affair.”

  I choked on my tea, staring wide-eyed at her. “What?”

  “Yes, my dear, I wouldn’t bring it up except that I can see nothing but trouble lying ahead.”

  “When… when did this happen?” I asked, but in my gut, I knew. There was proof — it was in those pictures and in my mother’s half-ass explanation of them.

  “It happened before you were born, dear. The families often gathered together and your mother loved throwing barbecues. Now, mind you, there was always a bit of flirting going on now and then, but it stayed within our set and that made it almost acceptable. Your mother, however, took it far past that point. She was quite smitten with LaViere and made a fool of herself, to be quite truthful. There was even some talk about a brief pregnancy,” she whispered, watching my face for a reaction. Naturally I was horrified. That would mean I was not the only child, just the only legitimate one.

  “Mrs. Jessup, are you saying she had an abortion?”

  She shook her head. “Not entirely sure. It was all very hush-hush. She went on a vacation quite suddenly, some excuse about Florida for the winter. Whether she had the child terminated or whether she gave birth and adopted it out, we’ll never know. I’m not even sur
e how much your father knows, but the less the better, you can be sure. He’s such a dear, though… he will always stand by her.”

  I was in total shock. It wasn’t Mother’s behavior that stunned me. She had always had the undertone of being duplicitous. It wasn’t even that Dad had been so abused, he could take care of himself. It was the idea that possibly somewhere out there I might have an older sibling. The idea was too big to focus on at the moment.

  Mrs. Jessup was watching my face for reactions and I didn’t want to upset her. “I think I knew a little bit about some of this,” I said to set her mind at ease. “I found some pictures and Mother’s explanation wasn’t entirely believable. Now, don’t you worry. Thank you for bringing this up. I surely will give this considerable thought before doing anything that could hurt someone, most especially Dad.”

  She nodded, satisfied that she’d done the right thing and went back to her pastry. Suddenly, I felt an enormous need to get out in the fresh air. The air in the room was hot, stuffy and filled with odd odors from the kitchen, not to mention the stacked bedpans on the racks in the hallway. I stood, hugged Mrs. Jessup and said, “I need to go. I have an appointment that I’m late to, I’m sorry…”

  Mrs. Jessup didn’t seem the least bit surprised. She had dropped the bomb, watched the explosion and was now getting out of the line of further fire mostly in the person of my mother.

  Once I got into the fresh air, I drew in huge gulps, despite the fact that it was filled with snow. Internally, I felt like the maelstrom of flakes about me, confused and in a dead fall. I got to my car and climbed in and started the engine, just sitting there for some time. I wanted to cry and be sick simultaneously. I couldn’t seem to think straight. I didn’t want to be there although I had no idea where I wanted to be more. I just didn’t want to be me at that moment. I’d never felt like this before and couldn’t explain it. There was no safe place. I couldn’t go home and face my mother — not yet. That time would come. I couldn’t reach out to Worth — he was implicated by association and although he knew nothing of this, I had no idea how he might respond.