Jase

by MariaLisa deMora

  Looking back down at Lee, he saw his friend was coming to, squinting up against the lights, blinking. He had a hell of a mouse under his eye already, but Jase was glad to see him becoming aware even before the team staff had reached the cluster of players surrounding them. Lee grimaced, struggled to sit up, and asked, “What the fuck happened?”

  “Biannac happened,” Jase said as he stood, skating backwards to give the medical staff room. He turned to where the Kalamazoo team had retreated to their bench, noting with relief that the crazy man wasn’t anywhere to be seen. There was a pounding on the glass behind him and he twisted to see the woman that had drawn Biannac’s focus was now looking worriedly across at Lee, one fist still pressed against the glass. She was pretty but pale, her gaze darting back and forth between Lee and the staff on the ice beside him. Looking at her, everything clicked, and with a shock, he realized this had to be Biannac’s sister. Lee’s ‘one that got away’ was standing not five feet away from him, and from the look on her face, the woman hadn’t moved on either.

  He got in her line of sight, drawing her eyes to him, and moving his mouth slowly, asked, “Are you Mareena Biannac?” She nodded and he grinned, calling in a singsong over his shoulder, “Hey, Lee, I think I found you a Ree.” The staff had begun helping Lee to his feet, and he turned so quickly he nearly tumbled out of their hands and back to the ice, asking with astonishment, “She came?” Looking at the stunned expression on his face, Jase laughed as he followed the group off the rink, watching the trainer assist Lee down the tunnel into the locker room.

  ***

  Fuck, he thought, looking around the locker room. Everyone was looking at him, waiting for the standard, rousing captain’s speech to the team after the win. Lee was at the local hospital getting a scan, and right now, it looked like he would be out for the rest of the season with a concussion, which left Jase a not-so-co-captain. Daniel, he thought, I’ve seen Daniel do this enough times. Stand up and talk already.

  He stood, drawing the gazes of the few players who weren’t already watching him. “Anybody get the number of that truck that hit Cap’n? Damn, that was Zamboni-sized, eh? Coach called; he said Lee’ll be headed home when the hospital turns him loose. Us lucky saps, however—we have another four away games this trip before we get to see the inside of our homes again, so maybe he’s the lucky motherfucker here, right?” This drew laughter as he intended, and he watched the men slowly begin to ease into their post-game rituals.

  “We have an early practice skate tomorrow in Waukesha, so plan on getting plenty of bunk time tonight so we’re all fresh as can be. Coach’ll have to change our lines a little with both Lee and McCormick on the injured list. Take note, because you motherfuckers better practice your short straw-drawing skills or you’ll wind up having to skate a shift with me.” There was good-natured laughter from the players and he grinned.

  “This was a good win tonight, boys. We left it all on the ice. Our fans are behind us, which helps. Didja see all the jerseys and colors in the arena tonight? Those people drove more than two hours to watch us play and we gave ‘em a hell of a show. Now, let’s keep it going, yeah? Good skating, good game, good team.” He knew it wasn’t as good as Daniel would have done, but it was passable. He took off his jersey, dropping it into the bottom of his gear bag, praying the equipment managers were going to have time to do laundry before tomorrow’s game.

  “Let’s get rolling, guys.” He chivvied them along without looking. “I’m fucking hungry.”

  His head came up when the first man slapped his shoulder on their way past and said with respect, “Cap’n.” His first thought was denial, because that was Daniel and Lee’s title, but he realized he was what these men now had. He was their Captain.

  Wedged into the front seat of the bus later that evening, he video-called DeeDee to chat. It wasn’t until she gasped through his earbuds that he remembered the half-dozen stitches in his eyebrow, gained not even courtesy of Biannac’s wild swings with that damn stick, but due to his own stupidity. “Shhhh, baby. It looks worse than it is,” he smiled at her image on the phone, “and you look so good it should be illegal. God, baby.” His call had woken her, and he loved the way her hair was tousled, curling around her face in soft ringlets.

  “Silly man,” she said with a sleepy grin. “We listened to the game, me and the twins. Y’all won; that’s great.” She yawned, covering her mouth with one slim hand. His view of her moved and changed then went away entirely, and he saw the lampshade for a moment before her face came back into view. She had stretched out on the bed, propping her phone on the pillow next to her. He groaned silently. This would be his view if he were home right now. Curling one hand underneath her cheek, she smiled at him. “Is Lee okay? When did the face thing happen?” She quickly had to get used to seeing bruises and stitches because of the physical side of the game, and fortunately, she was not easily thrown.

  “Second frame, I got a little too friendly with the opposing goalie, slid into the post with my head.” He sighed. “How are my babies tonight? Is everything good?”

  She smiled broadly. “Babies are better than good. They’re sleeping down the hall. Slate had some business for the club and Ruby decided to go with him, so I get to play GeeGee for two days. These babies are perfect.”

  “God, I wish I was there,” he said, and was immediately sorry, because he watched as her sleepy-happy face became sleepy-sad.

  “Me too, Jase. I miss you when you aren’t here.” Her hand reached beyond the frame of the video and he heard a gentle patting sound. “Wish you were right here beside me, within reach.” She sighed, “Or wrapped around me.” Giving a slow, sleepy blink, she said, “I miss you holding me.”

  He looked around. Coach would be renting a car and coming later, and most of the team was sleeping, so no one was listening in on his conversation. It was time to ask. “Baby,” he said slowly, “I’ve been thinking about that thing Mason wants, him offering me a job in Fort Wayne. I have three more semesters before I’m done with my degree, but I get the feeling that wouldn’t matter. I know you told me to think about it, but how would you feel about me being there all the time?”

  The video jerked and moved, then the call disconnected. It sometimes happened, so he stared at the screen, waiting for her to call him back as she normally did. After a couple of minutes of waiting, he hit redial and got a message she wasn’t available, then got a text that said, Sec baby. What the hell? he thought. Is she upset over the possibility of a closer connection between me and the club?

  He waited impatiently, and when she finally called him back, he answered before the first ring completed sounding. “Why did you do that? Why did you hang up?” He was halfway to being pissed and knew his tone showed it.

  “I didn’t hang up, doofus; my ass did. You startled me and I sat up, and then the phone slid under my ass and we got disconnected. And then I had to pee.” She laughed and smiled. “If it were just a call, I would have risked sitting on the can and talking to you, but not on video.”

  “Ah,” he said, watching her face intently. “Okay, you’re forgiven, but are you gonna answer my question?”

  “Not yet.” She bit her bottom lip, thinking, then said, “The questions I had about the job are still valid. First, are you sure that’s the job Mason is offering? We need to know exactly what it would entail before you can tell him yea or nay. Second, would you still be able to complete your degree if you’re working fulltime for the club? I know that piece of paper is something you’ve been putting a lot of time and effort into, and I want to see you succeed.”

  “Baby,” he said softly, and she tilted her head, looking at him. “I like you saying that ‘we’ stuff. It sounds all couple-ish and I like being coupled with you.”

  Tilting her head down, she said, “I know. Me, too.”

  She shook her head and looked up, taking a breath. “I’m serious here, though. Let’s talk it through, okay? So, third and really most importantly, how would you actually fee
l about not playing hockey? You’ve played the game for nearly your whole life. If you weren’t playing, you were preparing to play, or conditioning…but everything has revolved around the game, so what would that even look like for you?” With a smile and downward glance, she said, “Having you here all the time would be so good, but only if you’d be truly happy, Jase.” She frowned and looked back at the camera, sitting cross-legged on the bed, cupping her chin in one hand.

  “From what he said, the job would be taking on a large part of your load, in one sense. He asked me to manage all the Fort Wayne businesses,” he said then laughed, because before he could finish the sentence, she interrupted with a loud, “Yes.”

  “Tell me how you really feel, baby,” he joked and watched her bite her lip again. If I were there, I’d be biting other places on that woman.

  “Business manager would be an above-board position. You wouldn’t get pulled into any sketchy club business, so you’d be safe. If you could take on the extra work I’ve been doing, trying to help Myron out as much as I can, that would be phenomenal, baby. And…you would be home. I’d get to sleep with you every night? Yes. Hell yes.” She shook her head and laughed. “When I say it like that, it sounds selfish, but I still say hell yes. So let’s talk about finishing that degree, and what life without hockey looks like. I’ve listened to you talk about when you were hurt, and how you couldn’t wait to get back onto the ice. Why would this be any different? How can you manage that kind of loss?”

  He nodded; this was the piece he struggled with the most when contemplating Mason’s offer. Hockey was all he had known his entire adult life. He enjoyed the physicality of the game, the excitement of executing complex strategies, and the adrenaline rush of competing against other top athletes and winning. The camaraderie of the team, everyone working together towards a common goal. The excitement and ego stroking from the fans and media. But in his mind, none of that mattered. When he compared that to the woman in his bed and in his life, it came down to one important thing: DeeDee.

  Slowly, he said, “It would be different, because of us. Before, when I was hurt, I didn’t have you. I had a bare taste of you before Ruby got hurt, and to have that taken away left a huge hole. Then I got injured, and losing hockey too? It turned that hole into a gaping crater.” He saw a look of pain cross her face and she turned away from the camera. “Baby, I’m not saying that to hurt you, but to make sure you understand the difference. Some people get lost in drugs or drinking when they are hurting emotionally; I played hockey until I couldn’t see straight.

  “Now, I have you, not a simple taste, but all of you. You’ve seen how I have to force myself to drag ass to practice, because I don’t want to leave you. I’m not showing up an hour or two early like I used to. Not doing non-mandatory two-a-days in the gym to exhaust myself. I’m home with you whenever I can be. However I can. Between the sheets, or in the wind, if I can be with you…I am.

  “Between you and the twins, now I hate to leave for road trips. I hate to be away. I resent the need to sleep in a bed not shared with you. I want to be there every night. With you. Hockey’s becoming the obligation, and you, my refuge. If I want to stay involved with hockey, there are other ways that won’t have the same travel requirements. I already have an idea about something, because I want to set up a foundation to help disadvantaged kids discover hockey, a way to pay my love of the game forward. But if the job offer from Mason works out, I think I’ll be busy enough to not miss it too much. Plus, to be honest, I’m tired, baby. I’m sore, beat up, and just plain tired.” As he spoke, she turned to face the camera again, watching his face as he explained himself. By the time he finished, she was nodding her head.

  “Why don’t you think on it a little longer? You have a few more weeks before the season plays out, then a couple months before you have to worry about signing, right?” She paused, waiting for his nod. Once it came, she continued, “Call Mason and talk to him. Make sure this is what you want, okay?”

  “Okay, baby,” he said with a smile. “He wanted a month, but I’m sure he’ll understand. Honey, you need to go back to sleep; it’s late. I need to get some shuteye, too. I love you, mon amour. Je t’aime, DeeDee.”

  “No more than I love you, crazy man. Come home soon, okay?” She smiled and disconnected the call.

  Jase leaned his head back against the window, staring up at the ceiling of the bus as they traveled up the Dan Ryan. Chicago, he thought, Mason is in Chicago. Without pausing to give it too much thought, he lifted the phone and dialed the number for Jackson’s and left a message with the bartender.

  ***

  “Ma, I told you. I’m on the road for another week. Right now isn’t a good time to come down.” Jase scrubbed his hand across the top of his head, cursing the one-hour time zone difference that made his mother forget he might already be asleep. “Before you ask, I don’t know what DeeDee’s schedule is either. I’m on the bus right now.” He yawned noisily.

  “Well, I can hear that, can’t I? When will you be home, Jase?” Her voice carried that thread of steel he knew so well.

  “Week from Friday, we play in Indy, then head home. I’ll be back in the condo early Saturday morning.” He had a feeling he would be losing this battle, but still needed to fight it for both his and Sharon’s sakes. Things were too tenuous right now with her and Gunny, and even between him and DeeDee. It might be selfish, but he didn’t want to bring his family into the mix yet.

  “Then I can be there Sunday,” she said without hesitation.

  “No, Ma. This isn’t a good time to come down. Don’t make this hard, woman.” He yawned again, leaning his head against the bus’ window.

  “Why don’t you want me to come visit, son? Have you gotten too old to enjoy a visit with your mom and dad?” There was a quavering tone to her question, but it sounded forced, so he wasn’t fooled.

  “Not bamboozling me, woman. You know things are busy this time of year. The season is winding down, but I have to focus. Dugger got hurt—”

  “Lee? What happened?” She was genuinely concerned, knowing and liking Lee from Jase’s descriptions of the man.

  “A fight gone wrong, you know the risks. It’s always a chance every time we glide out.” He sighed and closed his eyes.

  “He’s okay though, eh?” He could tell she was backing down from the trip idea, thankfully.

  “Yeah, he’ll be okay. Probably sitting at home right now, feet up, with a book in hand.” He laughed. “Makes me effectively the captain, though.”

  “You’ll do fine, son. Do him proud, eh?” There was a smile in her voice, and he responded to it.

  “Will do. Tell you what, Ma. I’ll call you when this away trip is done and we’ll sort out a time for me to head up.” He yawned again, rubbing his eyes, then sat up straight when he heard the sudden whip crack of her voice.

  “Jason Wade Spencer, you’re not going to put me off forever. I will be coming to see you, your woman, your sister…everyone in your life there in the States. Don’t think you’ll get away with this, and don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

  Smiling, he said, “I know, Ma. We’ll sort something out, eh?” He sighed, ready for sleep. “Love you.”

  “Je t’aime, Jase. Be well, son.” She smacked a kiss into the telephone and hung up.

  Jase leaned back against the window and settled his shoulders onto the hard surface. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t protect Sharon from their family forever.

  Take the deal

  They won the game in Waukesha handily. It was irritating that the team was playing so well now, because it was late in the season, to make up for all the missed points from earlier in the year. Now, there was barely a chance of making the playoffs, given the limited number of games left, paired with their current point position in the division. If they had tightened up like this earlier, they would be sitting pretty, but it didn’t matter now, except how it played into the players’ individual contract prospects.

&nbs
p; Prepping for their next game, he was sitting in his hotel room in Rockford reviewing tapes from the last time they met this team. Three games in three nights with a half-dozen key players on the injured reserve left them a whole lot of missing talent to make up for. He worked with Daniel enough over the years to know a large part of the game was strategy and preparation. Being able to read an opposing team’s play and call it out to the players was part of what made a good captain.

  A knock sounded at the door and he looked up in irritation. “Fuckin’ rookies. Better not be a practical goddamn joke,” he grumbled, walking to the door. Looking through the peephole, he pulled his head back in surprise, quickly fumbling to open the lock.

  “Mason,” he said in greeting, holding out a hand. “Whatcha doin’ here?”

  “Merry said you called the bar. Thought I’d come watch the game, have a talk,” Mason said, pulling Jase into a one-shouldered clench.

  “Come on in, man.” Jase closed the door. “Want a bottle of water?” He laughed nervously. “It’s all I keep in the room.” He shrugged and gestured towards the chairs near the window when Mason shook his head. Grabbing his tee from the bed, he pulled it over his head, glancing around the room nervously, but everything looked pretty much in order. He realized what he was doing and thought, Why do you feel the need to clean up for Mason?

  “I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m hoping you called to accept the deal I made you, but if not, then no hard feelings. You’ll still be a friend of the club, welcome at all the neutral bars, and into our clubhouses by invitation.” Mason grabbed a chair, turning it around and sitting, folding his arms across the back. “And DeeDee’s position is independent of you and any decisions you make, so you don’t have to worry about any blowback her way. Just throwing that out there; don’t want any misunderstandings.”