Dear Santa

by Lulu Pratt

  “It’s awesome that you all still stay in touch,” Lilah says quietly.

  Shifting her across my lap, I bring her feet to rest on the bed beside us. But I don’t move her off me. My selfishness won’t allow it. I want her as near as possible. For as long as possible.

  “Tell me about your parents,” she requests softly, probably anticipating for me to close her out like I did earlier when she brought up my brother.

  Surprisingly enough, the urge I have to smash a wall when my brother is mentioned is absent when I think about my parents. My mother, specifically. The feelings I have about my father are complicated but how much of a grudge can you hold against a dead guy?

  “My mother would have loved you,” I share, staying within my comfort zone. “She was a rebel at heart, just like me. And an artist. She was an aristocrat by blood and raised to follow the rules, but she blazed her own path. She exposed me to all types of art at a very young age and I’ve been hooked ever since. It’s my lifeline and I never would have discovered it without her.”

  Turning to me, Lilah studies my face intently. “Sounds like one hell of a woman.”

  Nodding, I agree with her assessment. “She was.”

  Naturally, her interest is piqued and she wants to know about the other person responsible for my existence.

  “And your dad?”

  I stop toying with her anklet and focus on the carpet beneath us as her question echoes in my head.

  My dad.

  Where the hell do I even start?

  Picking up on my prolonged silence, Lilah backtracks.

  “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me about him. I was just curious.”

  “No, it’s fine,” I speak, and my voice is a lot gruffer than I expected. I swallow the lump forming in my throat.

  Lilah reaches up to touch my face. Her soft palm cups the side of my face as she patiently waits for me to continue speaking.

  “My dad was a man about his business,” I start off before pausing to rearrange my next string of words. “He built his empire from the ground up and naturally wanted his sons to follow the path he had so diligently paved. For my brother, that wasn’t a problem. He’s a natural when it comes to every aspect of running of a business. He shadowed my dad every chance he got. But I never took an interest in that stuff.”

  Lilah’s focus hasn’t wavered once and I can tell she wants me to get it all out before she speaks up.

  With a deep sigh, I go on. “My father took my disinterest in the family business as a slap in the face. He couldn’t understand why I didn’t share the same values as him. He despised my art and called it a distraction.”

  I stop and shake my head at the memory of some of the things he had shouted at me on various occasions.

  “He said he would never support something lazy, unmotivated people chose to dabble in. So, instead he focused all his attention on pitting me and my brother against one another. Nothing I did could compare to what my brother accomplished. I’ll never forget Father’s Day when I was twelve years old…”

  Lilah speaks up when my words trail off.

  “What happened?” She asks carefully.

  “I made him a painting,” I scoff, recalling the memory all too vividly. “Worked on it for about a month in my mother’s studio until it was finally time to give it to him. When I gave it to him he just sneered and tossed it in a corner of his office. He and my brother were headed out to the golf course and he told me that the best gift I could give him would to be more like my brother.”

  Lilah’s gasp feels me with dread. The last thing I want is her pity. That’s not why I told her. Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling her. The words just won’t stop flowing once I start.

  “That must have been tough,” she says finally.

  “Yeah, something like that,” I tell her, resurrecting my invisible wall. I don’t do vulnerable and this woman has me wide open right now.

  But she doesn’t push. She just stares at me with those eyes that make me want things that I’ve never wanted before. Things that I only want with her.

  “Thank you for telling me,” she whispers, kissing the corner of my mouth. “And thanking you for bringing me here. It means the world to me.”

  Her words hit me in the chest, igniting warmth in the previously hollowed-out space. I’ve never felt anything like this before and it’s confusing as hell.

  How did sneaking away for a good time turn into a heart to heart with the woman who was just supposed to be another box I checked off my bucket list? A bucket list that she blew apart. Now the only list I have is ways I want to make her come.

  “I guess we better get back,” Lilah sighs, sensing that our conversation is over.

  I’m thankful for her natural ability to read my body language so well. When she stands in front of me, I smile up at her mischievously because I know what’s coming.

  “Can I have my panties back now?” she asks cheekily, fisting her hands at her hips.

  Her dress shifts dangerously, almost giving me a flash of the part of her I adore the most.

  She feigns annoyance when I tell her that they’re better off in my pocket and I grab her hand pulling her back out into the hall.

  Lilah’s threatening to get me back somehow when someone clears their throat up ahead.

  My walk down memory must have conjured him up, because right there in the flesh is my brother.

  “Motherfucker,” I bite out.

  Instantly, I stop walking to watch his haughty approach. There’s already an annoying sneer on his face that I want to smack off.

  Beside me, I feel the second Lilah tenses in response to the shift in my demeanor.

  “Andrew,” my brother greets us coolly as he closes in. “Long time no see.”

  Thirty

  LILAH

  If you told me an hour ago that my world was going to come crashing down on me tonight, I would have laughed in your face and asked you what you were smoking.

  Tonight’s perfect.

  Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

  Holy shit was I wrong.

  As the gravity of this moment sets in, I shake my head for once again being so naïve to believe that the universe doesn’t have it out for me.

  I know the second that they come face to face exactly how they’re related. It’s all right there. Despite how utterly different they are, their similarities are impossible to ignore when they’re standing right across from each other.

  How the hell had I missed it?

  Was it willful ignorance or just plain blindness on my part?

  Even before Andrew speaks, I’ve already guessed that this is the brother he has such a strained relationship with.

  Edward. My boss. The man I’m working for in order to secure money for my project is my boyfriend’s brother.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I don’t mean to jump when Andrew starts speaking but it’s inevitable considering how fraught my nerves are at the moment.

  “Lilah, I want you to meet my brother. Edward, this is my girlfriend, Lilah.”

  It’s the first time I’ve heard him use that title to describe me, and while I should be rejoicing at the sound, I’m shaking in my boots.

  Edward is going to blow my cover in just one second and I suck in my last breath, waiting for my world to crumble.

  “Nice to meet you, Lilah,” Edward says without a trace of recognition evident on his face.

  My heart is pounding in my ears as palpable fear grips me, rooting me to the spot.

  Nice to meet you?

  What?

  Why is he pretending not to know who I am? As if this moment couldn’t get any more stressful, here he is playing games.

  He doesn’t give me the time of day as he focuses solely on Andrew.

  “I can’t say I expected to run into you here, Andrew. I thought you were too good for these kinds of events. What changed?” he sneers.

  The muscle at the base of Andrew’s jaw is ticking double time. His b
row narrows and he gives his brother a look I’ve never seen before, full of animosity and contempt.

  Andrew’s grip on my hand grows tighter, pulling me closer to his side as if he wants to shield me from something.

  “I wish I could say it was good to see you, Teddy. But we both know that’d be a lie.”

  Edward snarls as soon as the name slips past Andrew’s lips. That same petulant expression he gives me when he’s annoyed in the office blankets his face right now.

  An eerie sense of déjà vu sends chills crawling up my arms.

  What the hell is going on here? I’ve stepped into the twilight zone and I know for a fact that I’m fucked whether I say something or remain silent.

  “I see not much has changed,” Edward remarks, sliding me a cursory glance. “Still running through pretty women like water.”

  His words hit me right in the gut which I’m sure is exactly what he intended. His implication that I’m just another woman on a long list doesn’t sit well with me.

  Even if I’ve been plagued by those same doubts myself. But I can’t concern myself with those thoughts at the moment. There are more pressing questions that need to be answered.

  Like, why the hell had Edward kept me on his brother’s account but not tell me it’s his brother? A brother he doesn’t even speak to regularly or seem to like? The animosity between these two is tangible and somehow I find myself tangled in the middle.

  A snarl of my own threatens to take over my face but I rein it in and clutch Andrew’s arm. I grip it a little too tight, pulling his attention away from Edward. He looks down at me and asks, “You okay?”

  With a jerky nod, I confirm that I’m fine. Even if my heart is racing a million beats per second.

  A nasty mix of confusion and horror cripples me, but I school my features into a watery smile. He doesn’t look anywhere near convinced but decides not to push the issue in present company.

  Edward is silently flexing his power and the smug look on his face makes my stomach churn as I anticipate the moment this is all going to blow up. The fizzy Champagne I drank earlier threatens to make a reappearance.

  “What are you up to these days, little brother? Still playing around with crayons in your basement?”

  His blatant disregard for Andrew’s talent makes me bristle, especially in the wake of the conversation we just had.

  Disgust turns the corners of Andrew’s mouth down into a scowl.

  “Why don’t you cut the shit, Teddy? You can try to cut me down all you want but it won’t change the fact that you’re a pathetic follower who’s always been jealous of me.”

  Edward’s face falters and he shows the first visible signs of discomfort. In a matter of seconds, he’s recovered and spewing more insults.

  “Jealous? That would imply that you had something I wanted—”

  “Oh, but I do,” Andrew states confidently as his body gradually relaxes beside me. “I have my freedom and that’s something you’ll never have as long as you’re playing the role of a puppet.”

  Sounding in control of the situation, Andrew goes on. His voice is clipped and calm as he appears to read Edward like a wide open book.

  “That’s your problem. You never developed your own identity outside of other people’s expectations and now you despise anybody who lives their life on their own terms because you were never brave enough to take that chance. That must be hard for you,” he finishes with a shake of his head.

  “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Edward says in a tight voice.

  A rigid moment of silence passes between the brothers while I stand there feeling like a fish out of water.

  I need to get the fuck out of here. Where’s the emergency exit when a girl needs it?

  This is the most stifling exchange I’ve ever witnessed and it’s just growing worse by the second. The tension is radiating off them in waves and I don’t want to be here when the situation inevitably detonates right before my eyes.

  Here I am, in bed with one brother while working for the other one. How on earth did I get in the middle of this sibling rivalry?

  Someone should really make a movie about my summer. It’ll be a blockbuster hit because I can’t make up this crap. What the hell is going to be thrown at me next?

  The uncertainty of it all is starting to gnaw at my sanity.

  I spot Charli coming into view down the hall and my shoulders sag in relief. Luckily, the universe is throwing me a bone.

  “There you two are, I was just about to put out an APB—” she pauses when she sees Edward standing there. “Oh, hello.”

  He spares her a cursory glance, much in the same way he’d perused me earlier.

  “Good seeing you, Andrew,” Edward says. He turns on his heel and walks away without a backward glance, abandoning me.

  Charli looks to me for an explanation of what just transpired.

  “What was all that about?”

  I wish I knew.

  Thirty-one

  LILAH

  When I get back to the office the following week, I have no idea what to expect. The remainder of the Hamptons trip was uneventful and we didn’t run into Edward again. However, I was on edge until we left. My unease made Andrew worry.

  Every time he asked me if I was okay, I lied or gave him a placating smile to ease his concerns. In truth, all I could think about was what was waiting for me back in Connecticut.

  Had I ruined everything?

  Now that Edward knows I’m involved with his brother and my only client, will he give me the ax when he sees me? Is my dream of helping children over?

  And where exactly do I stand with Andrew? I had ample opportunity over the course of our trip to tell him that I knew his brother but I chickened out every time our conversations presented a natural opening. Now I feel like a fraud.

  I’m still confused about why Edward pretended he didn’t know me. Does he want me to fall in line and go along with whatever sick game he’s playing?

  After the way I saw him interact with Andrew, I’m not sure I want to be on his side. It’s one thing to have me working on this special project of his, but deception isn’t something I’m comfortable with.

  I have to tell Andrew, I’m just not sure how without blowing my cover and coming off as a liar.

  If he finds out I hid my employment with Edward from him, it’s bound to end badly. Even worse if he hears it from somebody else.

  He doesn’t know that I’m really a school teacher looking for wealthy donors to get my project off the ground.

  I just have to think of a way to bring it up. Andrew hasn’t touched the subject since it happened. He just moved on like it meant nothing.

  Ill at ease, I hop down from Charli’s car and thank her for the ride to work before heading inside.

  When the hell did my life become so complicated?

  I thought I knew what I was doing, but each passing day proves to me that I’m in way over my head.

  Walking into the lobby, Louisa waves at me with her usual smile and I breathe a sigh of relief. Surely, the receptionist would be the first to know if I was no longer welcomed here. It’d be her job to stop me before I got too far and inform me that I needed to make a U-turn right back out the door.

  Or maybe he’s going to do the honors in person.

  As I push open my office door, I honestly expect to see him waiting for me. However, the only thing that catches my eye is a vase full of beautiful red roses at the center of my desk.

  I pluck the card from its holder and see Andrew’s slanted handwriting.

  I read the message aloud, “This weekend was incredible because of you. I miss you already. Come to me after work. — Andrew.”

  The unease in my stomach is starting to fade as I read it over and over.

  Come to me.

  Dropping into my seat, I shoot him a quick text to say thanks and tell him I can’t wait to see him later.

  Pushing the flowers to the corner of my desk, I turn on
my computer and prepare for the worst. Opening my email application, a message from Edward sits right at the top of my inbox.

  Of course.

  Time to face the music.

  With a deep breath and a swift double-click, I open the message. The email came in ten minutes ago and all it says is:

  Call me as soon as you see this.

  Eyeing the phone on my desk, I think about how long I can avoid what’s bound to come next.

  “You might as well just rip off the bandage,” I tell myself, picking up the phone.

  “Are you in the office?” Edward asks as soon as he answers. What happened to hello?

  “Yes,” I confirm.

  “Sit tight, I’m on my way.”

  That wretched ball of dread forms in my stomach again.

  He is going to fire me in person.

  In five minutes flat, Edward walks into my office with a smile plastered across his face. It’s the first time I’ve seen his features display anything resembling happiness and it’s disturbing.

  Does the thought of crushing my dreams fill him with so much joy that it has him acting out of character?

  Jesus.

  Edward speaks first.

  “It looks like I owe you an apology, Ms. Tucker.”

  My eyebrows dip above the bridge of my nose because that’s the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth.

  “An apology?” I echo. “For what exactly?”

  “It seems I underestimated you and for that I apologize,” he says, adjusting his cufflinks casually.

  Holy hell, I’ve stepped into the twilight zone again because I still don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. However, Edward being Edward, he erases any doubt I have with his next statement.

  “I just came here to congratulate you on doing whatever it takes to land the client. I had no idea you had it in you but it seems like your plan worked. Andrew is wrapped around your finger and he’s signed off on the investments I recommended.”