by AJ Adaire
Dana rested her cheek on Nic’s chest. “You’ve turned my world upside down. I've never longed for anyone before you. The minute you leave me, I count the seconds until I can be with you again. At first, I fought my feelings. I couldn't help myself and eventually I realized that nothing else mattered. I’d fallen in love with you.”
“Did you struggle with that emotion, with the fact I was a woman?” Nic wanted more information after her conversation with Stacy.
Dana thought back to when she began to fall in love with Nic. “No, I don't think struggle would be the word I'd choose to describe it. I mean, of course you know I thought about it because we discussed it. In the end, it really didn't matter. I was in love with you and, once we made love, there was no way I'd let you go. That first night we were together was magical.” Dana smiled at the memory.
“Yes, it was.”
They snuggled together enjoying their closeness.
Nic nuzzled Dana’s neck. “I’ve been thinking that Stacy might be attracted to Jo, and if I had to wager on it, I'd bet that Jo would be interested if Stacy wasn't straight.”
“Yes. I’ve considered that idea, too. I wonder if Stacy is aware of their attraction.”
Dana slid to her side and Nic adjusted her position to face her. Sliding her hand up to Dana's breast, she circled lightly from the nipple to the outer edges with her fingertips. She slowed, returning to feel the area she had just traversed. “What's this?”
“What?”
“I feel something. Turn on the light.”
Dana did as Nic requested. “Where?”
Nic again felt Dana's breast until she located the small pea sized lump. “Here,” she said guiding Dana's fingers to the spot.
Dana fingered the area, her eyes filling with tears. “Oh Nic, what if I'm sick? It's too soon. It's not fair.”
Nic wrapped her lover in her arms. “Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe it's a cyst. Don't think the worst. But know that no matter what it is, we'll face it together.”
“I know. But it's just not fair.”
“Let's call Mallory. She'll tell you who to see, and maybe she can get you in quicker.”
“Good idea. What time is it?” She checked the clock. “It's only 9:30. Let's get dressed and go see her.”
“I'll call them first to be sure they're receiving,” Nic said with a wink.
A few minutes later, they walked across the yard between their houses. After knocking on Amanda and Mallory's door, they opened it and yelled, “We're here!”
Amanda greeted them at the door with a hug. “Mal will be right out. What's up?”
Mallory came down the hall adjusting her belt. She hugged her friends and led them into the living room. “Hey, Guys, you sounded anxious. What's going on?”
Nic spoke first. “We found a lump in Dana's breast.”
Mallory quickly sorted and reviewed what advice she had to offer. “Okay. First, don't panic. Chances are highly in your favor that it's nothing, maybe a cyst. Have you ever felt it there before?”
Both Nic and Dana shook their heads.
“Well, I’d guess that your first thought is fear it’s cancer. I just read a very informative article not too long ago. Statistically, according to them, for women your age a very low percentage, less than ten percent of lumps that are self-discovered are malignant. You’re lucky in one respect, you have youth on your side. After menopause, the chance of malignancy increases pretty dramatically.” Mallory squeezed Dana's hand. “So, take a few deep breaths and try to stay calm. Chances are very good that it’s nothing to worry about.”
Relieved somewhat by Mallory's encouraging words, Dana joked, “This is probably the first time in my life that I'm glad I'm still getting my period.”
Mal smiled at her friend's upbeat nature. “Anyway, there have been great strides in treatment. We're learning more every day…so don't worry until we are sure of what we’re dealing with. Let's not put the cart before the horse as my aunt used to say.” She smiled and squeezed her friend's hand. “Let me get you the number of the doctor I'd recommend you see. I'll get in touch with him first thing tomorrow. I'll ask him to see you right away.”
Dana exhaled. “Thanks, Mallory. I appreciate it.” She reached for Nic's hand. “I feel a little better.”
“How about a drink?” Amanda offered. “Know that we’ll be there for whatever you need. For now, put it out of your mind until we know what you are dealing with. Okay?”
Dana nodded. “Thanks. I feel a bit more in control. But I’ll take you up on that offer of a drink now.”
The friends sat sipping their drinks and Dana began to relax as they chatted. They caught up on everyone’s individual news, before turning their attention to talking about their friends.
“How are Stacy and Jo making out?” Amanda asked Nic. “Anything new to report with them?”
“I don't know. They seem awfully close for having only known each other such a short time. Jo seemed in good spirits today, and she and Stacy are living like an old married couple. They have this, what? I guess you’d call it a kind of choreographed routine in the kitchen. They start a meal, and without much communication, the table gets set, the silver dispersed, and voilà, suddenly there's a meal in front of you. They don't quite finish each other's sentences, but pretty damned near.” Nic reached for Dana's hand. “I think you should talk to Stacy. She had a lot of questions today about Jo and that stupid rule number two of hers.”
Dana wasn't thinking clearly yet, still having the worry about the lump in her breast in the back of her mind. It took her a few seconds to switch gears and get tuned in to what Nic was talking about. “Oh, you mean that thing she spouts about not ever getting involved with a straight woman?”
“That's the one!” Nic replied.
Mallory laughed as she said, “Gosh, Nic, you need to talk to Jo, to tell her she doesn't know what she's missing.”
Nic smiled at the good-natured teasing. “Come on, Honey, I've had enough of their abuse. Let's go home.”
They hugged each other in turn. Mallory promised to catch up with the doctor first thing in the morning. “Remember what I told you and don't worry.”
Chapter 13
“CAN YOU BELIEVE WE’VE been doing this for three and a half weeks now?” Stacy asked.
“I know. Time has literally flown by.” Jo’s daily grilling by Stacy had transformed into them just having normal conversations. They’d both been busy. Stacy had begun working on a new project. She’d already sent out a new survey, and Jo had prepared for and begun teaching her class. Jo had a wonderful mixed group of students of all ages, so there was much to discuss. She’d created several games for them to play, each one designed to break the ice and get people talking to one another. Beginning with the second meeting, people had taken to showing up early for the class and chatting in English before the French class started, able to share much more information in their native language than they could in their halting French.
Stacy had finally finished the first book Jo had given her to read and was rapidly progressing through the second. Jo expected that she'd be asking the dreaded sex questions before too long. She closed her eyes against what she anticipated would be an uncomfortable discussion.
Following breakfast, they each prepared for their walk. “Better dress warmly, Stacy. I think the weather has turned colder again.” They’d been enjoying an uncharacteristically warm week for mid-March. Looking out the living room window, Jo continued. “Judging from the way people are bundled up against the wind, it looks like it's pretty brisk out there.”
Stepping outside and pulling the door closed behind her, Stacy gasped as the first blast of cold air assaulted her. “Brrr! You’re certainly right about the weather. Winter is definitely back.”
Jo chuckled.
“I’ll go get the chair and you get started. I'll catch up with you.”
“Okay.” Jo grinned. “You might be surprised, though. Thanks to you, my leg feels great. You may have to run to catch
up with me.”
“Small price to pay, if you're able to leave me in the dust.” Stacy gave Jo’s arm a squeeze. Jo turned north to follow their regular route while Stacy jogged across the street and into the shop to get the chair. With a quick wave to Nic, Stacy grabbed the companion chair from the alcove and darted out the door to join Jo. Stacy didn't have to run, but she had to hurry. Jo was already a block away, nearly to the first bench by the time she caught up with her. With pleasure, Stacy noted that Jo wasn't limping yet.
“Need this?” Stacy asked when she caught up.
“Nope, not yet.”
“Rest?”
“Nope.” Shaking her head slightly, Jo grinned. “Not yet.”
They walked along with Stacy pushing the chair and Jo just using her cane. When they arrived at the second bench, Jo sat. “I know it's cold. I just need a minute or two.”
“Sure.” Stacy sat down and pulled the collar of her coat up around her neck. “Whew! Chilly.”
“Slide over here a little closer to me. I'll block some of the wind. Besides, I've been accused of being something akin to a built-in furnace. I’ve had complaints in the summer time because I always emitted so much heat. But no one has ever complained in the winter.”
Stacy accepted Jo's offer. She slid over next to her and slipped her hand into the crook of Jo's arm, leaning against her. “Mmm, you are warm. Where does all that heat come from?”
Jo was surprised that Stacy was comfortable with what could be perceived as a display of affection rather than what it was, just two friends sharing heat. “Aren't you concerned someone will think we're lesbians?”
Feigning shock, Stacy asked, “Oh, no. You're a lesbian?”
“Okay, perhaps I should have asked, aren't you concerned someone will think you're a lesbian?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Stacy shrugged. “I don't know. The thought just never crossed my mind that someone might assume that. We could be sisters. I snuggle with my sister all the time. Anyway, why would I care? Anyone who would think less of me because they suspected I might be gay is not anyone whose opinion would have any value to me anyway.” Stacy frowned. “Have you had negative experiences before?”
“I've been pretty closeted because of my profession so, in the past, I've not usually been physically demonstrative with another woman in public.”
“Are we being physically demonstrative? I was under the impression that I was keeping warm. But, if you're uncomfortable, I can move farther away,” Stacy said, expressing her annoyance.
“No, I've got nothing to hide now that I'm off the force. I was just thinking of your reputation.” Apparently, Jo had struck a bit of a nerve.
Stacy seemed a little miffed that Jo had even mentioned her concern. Jo had always been under the impression that any straight woman would be worried about being accused of, or suspected of, being a lesbian. She filed the question away to ask later. Perhaps when Stacy wouldn't be so uncharacteristically irascible.
Feeling cold and ready to return to some warmth Jo asked, “Ready to head back?”
“Yes. Walk or ride?”
“Walk, I think. I still feel reasonably able to navigate. My leg's tired, but not painful like it was before. We may need to renegotiate our deal. I don't think massages were a part of the arrangement.” When Stacy didn't respond, Jo asked. “What are you thinking?”
“Honestly, I was formulating and then discarding a variety of smartassed responses. I thought better of it and decided to bite my tongue. I'm sorry I snapped at you before.”
Jo grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and started to push. Stacy slipped her arm into Jo's and tucked in close. Jo's furnace kicked into a higher gear. Oh God! Rule number two—remember rule number two. Then the other voice inside her head kicked in. Don't be an ass. She doesn't mean anything by it. She's just keeping warm. She thinks of you as a sister or close friend.
Nic glanced out the window and smiled at the picture created by the two people coming down the street toward the office. Stacy was cuddled against Jo, arms linked, much the same way she and Dana had walked together in Italy. She wondered if things were starting to happen for them or if they were legitimately just fending off the cold.
Stacy waved hello to Nic through the window, then turned for her apartment while Jo pushed the wheelchair into the store and deposited it into the nook.
“So?” Nic asked, one eyebrow elevated, expressing her curiosity.
“So, what?”
“So, how are things going with Stacy?”
“Good. She's a great person. I like her a lot. We're becoming good friends.”
“Friends?” Nic glanced across the street at Stacy’s window. “You two looked pretty cozy for just friends.”
“I told her people would think the worst of her if they saw her close to me like that.”
“Why do you say 'think the worst of her? Do you mean they might suspect her of being a lesbian?”
Nodding, Jo unzipped her jacket. “Yes, I told her people would assume she was gay and that we were lovers.”
“And what was her reaction?”
“She got a bit peeved at me.”
“Jo, do you ever think she might be interested?”
“In what? Me, or in a lesbian experience?”
“Maybe in both.”
Jo shook her head. “Remember rule number two. I'm not interested in being any first timer's experiment or experience.”
“Why not? It sure worked for Dana and me. I'm Dana's first relationship with a woman.”
“Didn't you worry that this was a path she was walking for the first time?”
“You mean that Dana might be taking a detour from the straight and narrow, and that she'd return to the main road eventually?”
Jo laughed and pulled up a chair. “Yes, precisely.”
Nic glanced out the window again, tugging at her earlobe as she composed her response. Nic turned to look Jo directly in the eyes. Her direct gaze told Jo that when Nic spoke, she could depend on the fact that it would be with honesty and candor.
“I will admit that when we first got together it concerned me. By the time Dana asked me to trust her, it was too late for me to back away. I was too far-gone. By the way I haven't been sorry ever, not once. I mean, look at the relationship we have, and look at what I would have missed out on. These past several months have been the happiest of my life. I've gained a partner, a friend, a lover, and all of you guys as friends. I'm starting a new business with people I love and trust. I'm my own boss and doing work I love. With Dana's support, I've come out to my mother, and she has continued to embrace me. You know, Jo, sometimes what feels very risky really isn't after all. Especially if you take that risk for and with the right person.”
Jo didn't respond, but she carefully considered Nic's words.
Chapter 14
“I FINISHED THE SECOND book you gave me to read.” Stacy slid Jo's book across the counter towards her. “Thank you.”
“What did you think of it?”
“I enjoyed it very much. I felt like I really got to know each character. I loved the main characters’ relationship and their playful banter. The dialogue was very natural, and it was an entertaining story. It made me laugh and it made me cry.”
Jo waited.
“And it was hot. I couldn't wait for them to get together. It was a good love story. I can see why you like that author's writing. Her characters feel like people I'd like to hang out with.” Stacy stood and carried their dinner dishes to the sink.
Jo joined her, helping to rinse them and stack the dishwasher.
“Will it disturb you if I use the office to do some work?”
“Not at all. I would like to bike a bit. Will the noise bother you?”
“No.” Stacy wiped her hands and closed the dishwasher. “I don’t have to make any phone calls tonight, so noise won't be an issue for me.”
Jo had steadily been increasing her stamina. She rarely ever took
the wheelchair on her walks anymore, and the previous day she’d circled the block instead of covering her usual route. Not only was her strength and stamina increasing, she was also much more optimistic that she would eventually be able to regain even more functional use of her leg.
When Stacy started down the hallway toward the office, Jo was amazed. Was she also just a little disappointed that Stacy hadn't wanted to discuss the sex scenes? She’d expected questions or, at the very least, comments. Stacy had said nothing other than 'it was hot.'
Jo followed Stacy down the hallway to the office. “Need help?”
“Not right now. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Same as before, tallying the results for you?”
“Yup.” Stacy glanced over at Jo several times. “You’re awfully antsy tonight. Something wrong?”
Jo shrugged. “No I guess not. I guess I expected a different reaction to the book, that's all.”
“In what way? It was a good romance. It was just a simple love story, so there's no deep discussion needed. I've read a hundred just like it.”
“Well, not exactly like it.”
Stacy's brow furrowed wondering what Jo was beating around the bush about. “Okay, spit it out. What are you pussy footing around about?”
Jo smiled inwardly at Stacy's choice of words. “Okay, I thought you'd have some questions or comments about the love scenes.”
“Well, after reading that, what questions could I possibly have left? As to comments, I told you, I liked it a lot, good story, steamy sex. What more could or should I say?”
“So you didn't find the love scenes uh...” Jo searched for an appropriate word. “For want of a better word, distasteful?”
“God no! Why would I? They were great. I told you I thought they were hot. They described sometimes passionate, sometimes tender, and always loving and giving relationships. I wish my sexual experiences had been half that good.” She paused for a moment before she asked the one question she did want an answer to. “Tell me something, Jo. I do have one question. Is sex with a woman really like it was described in that book?”