by Mia Ford
“Do you want a coffee?” I say instead, trying to grab his attention back onto me. “Or a tea?”
“Oh yeah, coffee, please.” He follows me into the kitchen. “You always have the best coffee.”
“I need it! I wouldn’t be able to survive without it! Caffeine keeps me going.”
I flick the coffee machine on and wait for it to prepare the mugs while Nick sorts out what Toby is allowed out of my cupboard. He’s really stepped into the role of a single father better than I thought he would. He was always very involved in Toby’s life, as much as a man can be while running a successful business at the same time. Still, he’s done a really good job and that’s the reason Toby is a really great kid.
“Right, Tobes,” I say as I hand his dad a drink. “You can have complete control of the TV if you want.”
He leaps and races from the room once more, excitement bursting on his face. He looks so happy.
“No wonder he likes coming here,” Nick laughs with a head shake. “He gets all that he wants.”
I take a seat on the bar stool next to him. “Oh well he deserves it. He’s a great kid.”
I give Nick a curious look while I wait for him to speak. He has a favor to ask of me, that’s what he said in his message, so I’m waiting for him to say exactly what he wants.
Sensing what I’m waiting for, almost as if he can read my mind, Nick begins. “So, you know how I said I have something to ask you?” I nod slowly. “Okay, well here it is, and it’s a big one.” He sucks in a deep breath almost making me panic. What could it possibly be? “I have an event to go to on Friday night, the Business Associates dinner and award thing, and I really need a date for it. Do you think you’ll come?”
“Oh!” That surprises me. I didn’t think it would be something so simple. “Of course, I will.”
“Wait, before you agree, I need to explain it a bit more to you. Liz will be there with Pete.” Ah. My heart stops dead in my chest. That’s going to really suck. I know how heart broken he was and it might be me becoming a shoulder for him to cry on. “And I want her to think that I’ve moved on. I want us to be a ‘couple’.”
For a second, my heart soars. I don’t want it to, but it does. It lifts high and bursts with excitement before I realize that there are air quotes there. I’m not going to be a real girlfriend. Just a decoy one.
“Oh.” I gulp the thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat down. “I see. Yes, of course I will. But won’t Liz see through it? She knows me, doesn’t she? She’ll know that I’m just your friend.”
“I thought about that.” It stuns me how detailed he’s thought this through. “And I figure if you wear a ring, potentially an engagement ring, she’ll fall for it. She’s always been jealous of you anyway.”
Now that shocks me. Liz is a typical glamorous girl, long blonde, straight hair, full make up, bright red lips, toned, sexy body. I have brunette messy hair and a curvy figure. I’m a mess compared to her.
Nick takes my hand and he gives me an intense heart stopping look. “I would love you forever.”
My heart melts, I can almost feel my knees knocking together with shock, this is nuts. It sounds crazy, I’m not totally convinced that it’ll work, but for him I already know that I’ll agree. “Sure, but what will I wear?”
“I can buy you a dress.” He gives me a grin. “It’s a posh thing.”
“Are you being rude about my normal clothes?” I tease while throwing my hands playfully onto my hips. “Now that is appalling. Especially when you need me. You’re asking me for a favor right now.”
“No, you’re right, I am. And you dress beautifully. I would like you to come like this…”
“Oh, don’t be silly. You know I won’t be offended. Just get me a dress, I’ll wear whatever.”
I throw my hand dismissively over my shoulder. I honestly don’t care what I wear. I’ll be playing a part anyway, doing a character so why does it matter what I wear? And Nick’s comment that he likes me as I am is coursing through my veins and making me feel all warm inside.
“I can just give you my credit card so you can pick whatever you want…”
“No, no, you choose. You know that world better than me. I’ll end up with something too arty or something. Don’t spend too much money, that’s all I’ll ask of you. Don’t spend money that Tobes needs on me.”
An expression crosses his face, one that I can’t quite work out. I wish I could crawl inside his brain so I can see where his thoughts are, but of course, that’s impossible.
“You’re honestly a legend, Meli Bear, I don’t know what I would do without you.”
The mention of the nickname almost sends me over the edge, it reminds me of how much I used to like him, and how I still do more than I should, but I manage to hold it together just enough.
“Urgh.” I roll my eyes dramatically. “Please don’t call me that. It’s much too cutesy. Not like me.”
“No,” he muses thoughtfully. “Not like you at all.”
I don’t really know what that means, but it feels odd to hear him say it. I don’t know why, but it gives me the impression that something about this night out and this business dinner is going to change things. For the better or worse? I’m not too sure.
Chapter Three – Nick
“Thank you again for this, Mom, I really do appreciate it,” I tell her gratefully while finishing up tying my cravat up. “And of course, Toby is over the moon to have you here. He loves his grandma.”
“Oh, I’m just glad that I get to see Toby now,” Mom replies wryly. “I thought I wouldn’t ever get this.”
I purse my lips together, already feeling the tension flowing from Mom as she says this. She knows it wasn’t me that kept her away, but I suppose she also assumes that I could’ve done more. I didn’t mean to get controlled by Liz but I suppose I let that happen more than I intended to. It was always anything for an easy life.
When she sees that I’m not going to say anything else she continues. “And it’s Melissa that you’re going to this event with? I’ve always liked Melissa a lot. She’s such a beautiful person, inside and out.”
I roll my eyes, already knowing what she’s going to say next. “Yes, I know, Mom, and you always hoped that me and her would end up together, but that’s never going to happen. We’re just too different…”
“Now, maybe, but you were very similar when you were younger. Like peas in a pod. I know that version of you is still there, you just need to drag it out, that’s all. Plus, opposites attract anyway. Look at me and your father. We couldn’t be more different and we managed to have thirty years of successful marriage until he passed away. He was stiffer, more serious, more organized than me, I’ve always been a freer spirit.”
I suppose that’s right, I haven’t ever thought about that much. Ever since Dad died just after my fourteenth birthday I don’t think too much about him, but he was nothing like my mother at all. They just made it work.
“I don’t know, Mom,” I whine back. “I’m not really thinking about dating anyone right now.”
“Why? Are you going to let that horrible woman rule your life forever?”
I give her a look, silently pleading with her to keep the slagging off to a bare minimum around Toby. I don’t ever want him to grow up thinking that I pushed his mother away. Even if she came back now wanting access to him, I would be wary but I wouldn’t do anything to stop her. It wasn’t right for him to not know her.
“Mom, I’m not doing anything, I’m just being smart.” I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. “I’m just focusing on Toby and trying to keep us going at the moment. Nothing else matters.”
“I know that, I’m just concerned about you, that’s all. Since Toby is at school during the day, there’s nothing holding you back from having your whole life back to something like what it was.”
That feels like a pipe dream at the moment, I’m still trying to just hold it together. That’s all I need to do right now. I do want all o
f that, but I’m willing to wait until I feel totally ready.
“Oh, was that the door?” Mom asks, trying too hard to sound innocent. “Melissa must be here.”
“Don’t say that too loud,” I hiss back, quietening her down. “You’ve only just got Toby down, if he hears Melissa’s name, he’ll be up again in an instant. He loves Melissa, don’t you forget that.”
She simply gives me a knowing smile back, almost as if this is confirmation of what she already thought. She had the crazy idea that me and Melissa should be together in high school and she still thinks that now. I suppose the fact that Toby loves her too is just another reason why. Although, I have to admit when I saw them playing together at her apartment the other day, it made my heart melt as well. But only because it reminds me that she’s someone I need to keep around forever for my son’s sake, not for any other reason at all.
I bounce down the stairs two at a time and I swing the door open. For a couple of seconds, I’m so blown away by the sight of Melissa in the gorgeous red tight fitting dress that I sent over to her this morning and my breath is completely stripped from my body. If I didn’t pick that dress, I might not have believed that it’s her.
“I know, right?” Melissa laughs with a wink. “I scrub up pretty nice if I do say so myself.”
She’s underplaying how good she looks. Her raven hair is filled with corkscrew curls, hanging adorably around her high cheekbones. She looks like she has had her make up professionally done, there’s almost a glow around her that sucks me in and makes me want to hold her tightly in my arms… or maybe that’s my mom’s words playing with my mind, making me think things that aren’t really there.
“Yes, you scrub up well too.” She looks me up and down. “You look nice in your suit. Is your mom here?”
I step back and allow her to push past me, making herself at home. She races into the kitchen where she and my mother catch up for a while, gossiping like they’re best friends in the world. All the while, I remain in the hallway, stunned into silence while I inhale the fruity scent of the perfume she has on. There’s something about Melissa today that’s different, and it makes me feel all new inside. Like something has been scrubbed and refreshed and because of that I feel so much better. More like myself, which is odd.
Well, she will make Liz jealous, I think to myself with a head shake. My God will she.
As I eventually follow Melissa into the kitchen and I glance at her hand, I notice that she has a diamond ring sitting on her left hand. I sent that with the dress, but I guess I didn’t fully expect her to wear it. It feels really nice to see it there, it’s been eight long months since I’ve belonged to someone and I like the sensation.
“Melissa has just been telling me about her work at the Smith household,” Mom says with a grin. “That’s pretty great, isn’t it? Landing a contract like that. You must work hard.”
I can’t tell if this is a double edged sword, another dig at me for not having any work at the moment, but in my shock I let it wash over me easily. To be perfectly honest, my brain is too busy darting my eyes over to Melissa to take it in properly. There’s a deep buzzing in my head that I can’t shake off.
“Oh yeah I do.” Melissa smiles. “But it’s a lot of fun. I really love what I do.”
Hmmm… did I ever love what I did? When I worked with Pete in finance, did I love it? I know that I was very good at it which is why I can afford to take so much time off even after giving up half of my fortune. But I didn’t enjoy it, it didn’t give me a deep thrill in the pit of my stomach. I just did it.
But what can I do that I do love? I guess that’s a good place to start when it comes to planning my next company. That will help m with the motivation that I so desperately need. It gives me something to think about…
“Do we need to go?” All of a sudden, Melissa drags me from my thoughts by reminding me about the present moment. “Do we need to call a cab or something to take us to the event?”
“I’ll drive us, I don’t mind.” I glance at my watch. “But yes, maybe we should be leaving now.”
Melissa and Mom share a hug, and I can really see the love there. It’s amazing how much better she slots into my family than Liz ever did. She’s so easy going, they all simply adore her, it’s easy to be around her. It leaves me pondering what it would be like if things had ever been different. Maybe if we didn’t meet so young and fall into the friendship trap too quickly, we could have been something else. Perhaps. I don’t know.
Stop thinking that way, I have to quickly remind myself. None of this is real. It’s all a ploy. It’s all a game.
Only, weirdly, the closer I get to the moment, the less this is about Liz anymore. When I first spoke to Dan, the burning desire for her to see me happy was at the top of my list, it was the main point of all of it, but now I don’t even think I’d care if she and Pete weren’t even there. Me and Melissa will have such a good time anyway.
“Come on then, we need to get going,” I remind Melissa. “You two can talk anytime.”
“We should all have dinner some time next week.” Mom isn’t ready to let it go. She holds onto Melissa’s hands for a couple of seconds longer to keep the focus purely on her. “Don’t you think?”
“Just text me, set it up anytime and I will be there. So long as Toby is.” She grabs my hand, a sensation that probably isn’t as strange as it should be considering it’s the first time. “Okay, let’s do this.”
I take her to the car and watch as she slides into the passenger’s seat. My pulse races with nerves but excitement too. I didn’t think there would be any part of me that wanted to go to this, but I do. It’s odd.
“Will there be an open bar?” Melissa asks me as I start up the car. “I need a drink right now. Or will I be allowed a drink?” She looks me up and down. “Since you’ll be the sober driver?”
“You drink as much as you want,” I chuckle back. “I know this will be daunting for you, but I’m sure it’ll be fun too. Plus, you might even make some more business contacts. Did you bring your business cards with you?”
“Of course,” she sneers pulling them out. “What sort of idiot do you think I am?”
I toss my head back and laugh at her. “Sure, I know you aren’t. Sorry, I was just thinking that you might as well make the best of a crazy situation. I know this probably isn’t the way you want to spend tonight.”
“I don’t mind. I’m happy to.”
We fall into silence for a few moments while I focus on the road, but as I speak again I do so with a quieter, much more serious voice. I want her to know that I really do mean this. I don’t often get serious with Melissa, we have much more of a playful friendship, but for once I need to be grave.
“Thank you again for coming with me. I really do appreciate it. It means a lot.”
“Oh, come on.” She pinches my arm playfully. “You know that I’ll do anything for you.”
I do, that’s the thing, and it’s making my brain churn. I don’t know where all of this has come from but I’m suddenly seeing her in a different light. It’s a way that I haven’t ever seen her before and it’s wild. It’s starting to make tonight feel like a very first date where the possibilities are endless.
It isn’t, I scold myself. It’s just Melissa, not a date. Don’t start acting nuts.
But my heart feels what it wants and my brain continues to tick in the wrong direction. The lines of what’s right and what’s acceptable start to blur together and I feel control slipping away from me. At this rate, I’m going to end up doing something crazy that changes things forever…
Chapter Four – Melissa
Almost immediately, I’m blown away by how fancy this event is. I guess I knew it would be, the Business Associates dinner is known for being a bit much, but still… I don’t think I fit in at all. Even in this dress that Nick brought for me and the diamond ring sitting on my finger, I feel like I have a neon sign hanging over my head reminding everyone that I do not belong to be here. It
makes me want to shrink in on myself to hide away.
“Let’s go to the bar.” Nick clutches my arm tight, holding me to him in a reassuring way and I can’t help but smile. At least he’s here, I don’t know what I would do if he wasn’t. Probably run away like a scared little girl. “I’ll get you a drink, I know you must need one to deal with all the stuck up pricks here.”
I laugh and shake my head at him. “You can’t say that, these are your people!”
“Not anymore.” All of a sudden, I feel like I’ve hit onto something that might well be a sensitive point. I always thought that it must be hard for him to no longer be in work, but I haven’t asked. “Maybe soon.”
He orders me a champagne and gets himself an orange juice. I feel a little bad drinking when he’ll be staying sober to drive, but I can’t stick with him. I need a buzz to survive this nightmare. When I agreed to come I was only thinking about Nick, not the actual night itself at all. Nick and his need for revenge…
I glance around rapidly wondering if she’s here yet. I never got to know her too well but I always got the impression that she would be a last minute arrival sort of person, demanding attention as she walks into a room. Certainly not a wallflower, like I am! When I can’t immediately see her, I assume that I’m right.
For a while, we circulate the room, making small talk with business people. I don’t really know what to say which is fine because I’m mostly ignored anyway, while people chat to Nick. The booze helps with that, not that I drink too much because I don’t want to end up wasted and embarrassed, as does the feel of his hand on my arm reassuring me the entire time. He doesn’t seem to forget me at all, and the constant reminder that he’s here with me makes it pleasant. I don’t mind standing by his side and occasionally smiling.