by B. M. Hardin
“I’m planning a surprise birthday party for you father in a few weeks. Do you think that you’ll be able to make it? Do you think my grandbaby will be here by then?” Mama asked.
Daddy’s birthday was about a month away. If this baby hadn’t come by then, I would go in my vagina, and pull her out myself. Though I wasn’t too sure taking her on a road trip was the best idea so soon.
“She should be here by then Mama, but I don’t know if driving her for that long period of time would be such a good idea. I’ll have to see. So, I guess that means you guys won’t be coming up for the birth?” I pouted.
I hadn’t seen my parents since the wedding and I missed them.
“I want to, but I’m not sure. You know your father hasn’t been feeling his best lately, which is part of the reason why I wanted to do something special for him for his birthday this year,” Mama said.
Daddy had cancer. The doctor’s had told him that he only had about six months when he was diagnosed; but he has lived with it for six years and was still here. He had refused all treatments and medicines, stating that he refused to spend the remainder of his life running back in forth to hospitals. He simply started taking better care of himself by exercising, becoming a vegetarian, living and laughing. I truly believed that those things and his faith had kept him alive and healthy thus far.
“He’s getting worse?” I asked.
“No; but he’s getting tired. He still isn’t too ill, but it’s as if he’s starting to give up and anticipating death. His doctor said that it had finally started to spread and I guess the news makes it all the more real for him,” Mama responded.
I could hear the sadness in her voice which made me want to cry.
“Well Ma, how are you holding up? How are you feeling?” I asked her concerned.
“Who me…I’m fine. I hate seeing him suffer…but I’ve been waiting on him to die for years,” she said bluntly.
Huh?
What?
I started to comment but she started speaking again.
“Maybe once he’s gone, I can finally do something for me. It’s not that I don’t love your father, I love him to death. Life with him has been good. But the last forty plus years have been all about him. The last few years that I have left should be all about me,” she said.
I knew that Mama meant every word that she’d just said and they really made me think.
Is this what I have to look forward to?
My parents had been my idea of a perfect couple, and I’d always looked up to them and honored their marriage. But in twenty years I definitely didn’t want to feel the same way that Mama felt; which only confirmed that it was time for me to do something for me. It was time to start my business so that I had an outlet and something that I could be proud of. It would be something that was mine and something that was all about me and what I wanted. Personally, I believed that every woman needed that.
After hanging up with Mama, I found a notepad and really started writing down ideas and plans for my future business.
I was now all the more excited about getting this pregnancy done in over with.
A husband, a baby, and a career…sounds good to me!
~**********~
Chapter Seven
“If she doesn’t come out of there by Friday, we’ll induce you,” my doctor said.
I laughed aloud.
God was doing this on purpose. I was now a week overdue and I was still pregnant!
I’d tried everything to get this baby to come, but she hadn’t budged.
But it would all be over in just three more days…for sure.
Santana helped me get settled into the seat and then we headed down the street. I was so tired. Exhausted was an understatement.
“Are you hungry?”
“No, I just want to have this baby,” I whined.
Santana didn’t know yet but as soon as we got home he was dropping his drawers. The doctor said that sex could cause your water to break so sex was the only thing on my menu.
“Did you ever decide what we were going to name her?” Santana asked.
“Yep.”
“Well…what is it?” he questioned me.
“Darla Marie Jones. I want to name her after your mother,” I said looking at him.
Santana turned to look at me. I could see the tears rapidly forming in his eyes. He tried his best to contain then but a few of them broke free and rolled down both of his cheeks.
He wasn’t big on showing emotions, so to see him cry, or whatever you wanted to call it, really touched me. Though he didn’t say a word, his face had said it all.
The news must have really touched Santana’s heart because when we got home, he made love to me like never before.
And guess what…my damn water still didn’t break.
~***~
“How are the girls?”
“They are fine. But they miss her…their mama,” Joey responded.
With Santana always around, it was hard to find time to talk to him. I’d sent Santana for ice cream and pickled eggs, so I had a few minutes.
“I’m sure they do,” I responded. I’d pondered the thought of telling him the truth about the little transaction between his wife and I. The guilt was eating me up in the inside.
“How’s my other little girl?” Joey asked.
“Joey stop it. Joey…I need to tell you something,” I said. Everything in me was telling me to keep my big mouth shut but I just couldn’t live with knowing what I’d done.
“What is it?”
“Well, I kind of spoke to Silvia before she left,” I blurted out.
Dead silence.
My stomach started to turn and the baby inside of it started to move.
“She knew about our affair Joey,” I said.
Joey was still awkwardly silent.
Finally, he spoke.
“Well, of course she did,” he commented.
Huh?
What did he mean by that?
“What do you mean by that? And Joey…there’s more,” I confessed.
I tried to replay every conversation that Joey and I had ever had, in my mind. Never had he ever said that Silvia knew about us. He’d always said she had her suspicious but never did he tell me that she knew.
“She threatened to expose us to Santana; so she blackmailed me. She said that if I didn’t give her five million dollars, she was going to ruin my marriage.”
There was another long, dreadful silence between us.
“What? So what are you saying Niveah? What are you trying to tell me right now?”
“I’m saying I paid her to keep her mouth shut; I’m also saying that she used that money to get away from you. She’d said that she wanted to disappear and she’d done just that,” I responded, just shy of a whisper.
“How could you be so selfish?”
I was quiet. He was right. It was so selfish of me to care more about my marriage than the well-being of his daughters. But at the time I wasn’t thinking about that. I was only thinking about me.
“So, you mean to tell me, you paid my wife to keep her quiet about our affair…knowing that she was going to leave behind her children with the money? Niveah are you stupid? Are you sick? Like sick in the damn head? Who does something like that?” Joey screamed.
I was prepared for him to be upset so his anger didn’t surprise me. I was wrong. He was absolutely right.
“Niveah she is the mother of my kids. And they need her. And you took that away from them. If she wanted out of our marriage, she knew how to ask for a damn divorce like normal people! But no, you had to stick your nose in my marriage and you didn’t even bother to tell me?”
Joey was furious!
And she’d told me that she’d asked him numerous times for a divorce but he’d refused. One of them was lying.
“Joey, I wasn’t thinking, I just didn’t want her to tell Santana. I’m sorry. I know it was wrong, which is why I’m telling you now,” I apologized. I was tryin
g my best not to become distraught but I could feel my heart racing, and I was beginning to pant.
I know, I know, I’m a horrible person.
“Niveah, hear me, and hear me good. I never want to talk to you again. Don’t you ever call me---ever again!”
Joey demanded and hung up in my face.
Tears streamed down my face. I know he hadn’t meant what he’d just said, but the fact that he’d said it, hurt like hell.
I called him back, but of course he didn’t answer. I placed the phone on my lap and focused on my breathing and calming myself down.
I was wrong, but I hadn’t had a choice; but Joey was right. I should have told him what was going on.
My phone started to vibrate and I reached for it in a hurry, thinking that it was Joey; but it wasn’t.
It was my Mama.
“Still no baby?” she asked in excitement.
“No Mama; still no baby,” I whined.
“What’s wrong? You sound like you’re crying?” Mama asked concerned.
“No, I’m okay. Just tired of being pregnant,” I said, hoping to get her off of my back.
“Well, your father found out about his surprised party. Your big mouthed brother spilled the beans. Anyway, he doesn’t want one. He said he’d rather be there with you, so we will be headed your way. We won’t be able to leave out until Friday morning. Hopefully we will be there before you are induced,” she said.
Her comments made me smile.
Mama was coming to town!
I was so happy that she was going to be there for the birth.
“Oh, guess who I saw the other day?” Mama said.
“Who did you see?” I questioned her.
“Remember that little fellow that you were quite fond of growing up…the one that was always at our house? What was his name, Joey? I saw him the other day. I’m assuming he was with his wife and kids. A Latino woman; and two little girls,” Mama said.
Huh?
What did she say?
“Are you sure it was him Mama?” I asked. Mama had to be mistaken.
“Yes, I’m sure. He still looks the same; just a little older of course. They were all standing in line for ice cream. Each of them had the hand of one of the little girls and they kissed just before placing their order. They caught my attention because at first glance I’d thought that she was you. I mean, minus the complexion, and the fact that you are pushed out in the front, and she is pushed way out in the back, the two of you favored each other quite a bit,” Mama concluded.
What?
Mama was definitely referring to Silvia. Especially when she stated that she resembled me. That just had to be her.
But it just didn’t make sense.
Silvia was gone---vanished…right?
Joey and I had just fallen out about this very thing, so Mama just had to be wrong.
Something just wasn’t right.
I opened my mouth to speak but instead I screamed.
Following the scream, warm liquid gushed from in between my legs and soaked my sweats.
Finally…it was time.
~***~
“She’s beautiful!” I squealed!
Yes Lord…this pregnancy thing was over!
And my baby girl was gorgeous, healthy and…she looked just like me!
I was so relieved when I saw my precious little girl; and I was even more relieved that she didn’t have one feature of Joey.
Santana was staring at her as though he wanted to cry.
“Hold her, hold your daughter,” I said.
Santana reached for her and smiled once she was in his arms.
“Hey Darla…I’m your Daddy,” Santana said to her.
My heart smiled, although I knew that there was a possibility that he wasn’t. But God, did I hope that he was. I was now complete. My life was complete; my family was complete…
~***~
I was a little disappointed that not only had my parents missed the birth of my baby, but it was now the Monday after having my daughter, and they still weren’t there. Mama stated that they would be there as soon as they could. Again, it was according to how my Daddy was feeling from day to day and he just hadn’t been up for the drive.
We were now home and still trying to get settled.
Santana was being the perfect husband and the best Dad in the world. He was so helpful and I’d barely lifted a finger other when I’d wanted to.
His phone had been ringing off the hook all day. It was his partners of course, but he hadn’t had the time to answer. Finally, he found a few minutes to see what was going on.
“Baby, I need to run by the office. They need my input and my signature on a few things. I know I shouldn’t be leaving you guys but I promise it won’t take too long,” Santana explained to me once or daughter was peacefully napping.
“It’s okay baby; I’m going to get me some rest while she’s asleep. I’ll see you when you get back,” I said, kissing my husband.
As soon as Santana was out of sight, I called Joey.
I hadn’t spoken to him since the day that he’d hung up on me because of my confession, but I was dying to have a few words with him. For the most part, I wanted to apologize for my actions. And I also wanted to ask him about what Mama said that she saw. Something just wasn’t adding up. It just wasn’t making sense.
Joey didn’t answer and after calling him two more times I gave up. I walked over to my sleeping beauty and took a picture of her.
This would surely make him call me back. I sent the picture and waited for Joey to call.
Minutes had passed and my phone still hadn’t rung. I got into bed, and placed my phone on Santana’s pillow. I watched it for a while, and after some time, I dozed off for what seemed like only a matter of minutes and then….
I opened my eyes in hurry at the sound of my baby wailing at the top of her lungs.
But I couldn’t make it to my daughters’ rescue because…
I was staring down the barrel of a gun.
The person holding it was dressed in all black and they were wearing a black mask.
Immediately I began to whine, but the person didn’t move.
They only stood there in complete silence with the gun in my face.
What’s happening? What’s going on?
“Help! Help!” I screamed over the cries of my daughter, but I knew that no one could hear me.
“Please, I’ll do anything you want. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt my baby. I have money; plenty of it. You can have it all. Just please don’t hurt me,” I begged for my life.
The figure still didn’t move, or say a word.
They only stood there as I cried and begged. I was hysterical. I was scared to move so I simply laid there; begging and crying.
Lord why was this happening?
Though I hadn’t prayed in a while, I begged God to help me. I didn’t know why something like this was happening to me but surely God could save me.
“Please, please,” I begged aloud and for the first time I closed my eyes.
With the sound of my baby still in my ears, I only hoped that whoever the person was that was holding the gun, would show me some mercy.
But…
Bang…bang.
My flesh was on fire as the bullets ripped through the skin on my chest. The pain was indescribable, unbearable.
The intruder had shot me, twice, in the chest.
I screamed out in pain but I couldn’t move. I touched my chest and I could feel the warmth of my blood on my fingers.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
Of course I’d done my share of dirt, and wrong, but I didn’t deserve this.
My entire life, flashed before my eyes although my eyes were still closed.
I saw my childhood, my marriages, my husbands, my daughter…and even Joey.
Joey…
I forced myself to open my eyes to search for the figure in black.
My eyes were so heavy but I for
ced them to skim the room.
The intruder was standing in front of my daughters’ crib. She was still crying.
I wanted so badly to hold her, to help her, but I couldn’t move.
My body seemed as though it was paralyzed and I began to panic as it became harder and harder to breath.
I was sweating, but I wasn’t hot. I was freezing as though I was trapped underneath ten feet of snow.
I watched the intruder bend down and pick up my daughter.
My mouth opened but nothing came out.
The stranger held my baby close to their chest. I could feel the tears falling from my eyes as I looked on, motionless.
I could hear the sound of my heart beating, as clear as day, as though I was in a bathtub underneath the water. The thumping sound grew slower and slower; fainter and fainter.
My throat felt as though it was sore, but I opened my mouth again.
I moved it until something finally came out of it.
“Joey?” I asked.
I had no idea that Joey was what was going to come out of my mouth but it did.
The stranger turned around at the sound of my voice, still with my daughter in their arms.
She was now quiet, and even appeared to be cooing.
Despite what was happening to me, the sound of her made me want to smile but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do a thing.
My eyes were so, so heavy and every other second I had to force them to stay open. I could feel my body shutting down. I was dying and there wasn’t a thing that I could do about it.
I closed my eyes and immediately it was as if I’d saw a glimpse of Heaven, and out of panic I forced them back open again.
The person in black was now right by my side, still with my baby in their arms.
I could only hope that my eyes were saying the things that I couldn’t say.
They started to close again, but the sound of my ringing phone forced them back open.
I’d forgotten that it had been so close all along, but still yet, it wouldn’t have mattered.
It was only inches away, but I couldn’t move to answer it. I could get to it to ask for help. I wondered who it was but I couldn’t lift my head to see the screen.