If You Were Mine: The Sullivans, Book 5

by Bella Andre

  From the first moment she’d met him, she’d wanted to snap that control, wanted to best him by knocking him off his pedestal. And even though she liked him a whole heck of a lot more now than she ever thought she would—and despite the way he was turning her muscles and mind to mush with hands-down the best massage she’d ever had—she still couldn’t resist that urge.

  Frankly, she didn’t want to.

  The truth was that if she ever let down her defenses around Zach, Lord knew how he’d take advantage of that.

  “This is when I usually turn over,” she informed him in what she hoped was a fairly steady voice.

  This time he was the one left speechless as she rolled over onto her back and deliberately lifted her arms above her head. Zach’s eyes, she was pleased to see, blazed with fire.

  Before he could pick a place to rub, she boldly said, “My arms are sore.”

  She’d hidden her scars from everyone else, but every time Zach touched them, caressed the marks of old pain, she felt soothed.

  Healed.

  The only sounds in the room came from both of them breathing, faster and louder with every second of the sensual massage, and she wasn’t sure anymore which of them was making more noise as he worked out the tension in her biceps and triceps. When he moved his hands down toward her breasts, she was sure he’d decided to go for the gold, but instead he found a muscle just below her collarbone that had her practically sobbing with gratitude.

  “You’re amazing.”

  She opened her eyes and saw him staring down at her with such intensity as he replied, “So are you.”

  The reverence in his words, combined with the fact that he still didn’t touch her breasts as he moved his hands lower down her rib cage, had her eyes closing again, her lower lip sliding between her teeth as she tried not to beg him for even more pleasure.

  “That’s my job,” she heard him say, and then his teeth were replacing hers on her lower lip and he tugged it in between his lips. “God, you taste good,” he said and then he was kissing her some more, an upside-down kiss that stole the rest of her brain cells away in perfect choreography with his hands as they moved from the bottom of her rib cage to feather over her stomach, then lower still.

  She opened up for him, moaned into his mouth as he slid one hand past her damp curls and into her, while the other moved in perfect circles over the point of arousal between her legs. Just that quickly, she went off beneath him. Somehow, he managed to be there not just with his hands, his fingers, but with his mouth, too.

  Too impatient to let her climax run its course, she pulled him up over her so that both of them were lying on the narrow massage table. She ripped at the zipper of his jeans and he was ready with a condom the second she had him free.

  Wrapping herself around him was so natural, so perfect, that it was almost as if he’d always been there with her, in her arms, holding her.

  Loving her.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  A short while later she dropped Zach off at his place so that he could head for Southern California. Heather went to pick up the dogs at Tina’s house and after a reunion where they both acted like she’d been gone for one year instead of one night, she took them to the park and the dog bakery and the coffee shop. By then, they were dragging enough for her to accept that she couldn’t avoid going home anymore.

  She loved her house. After being around people all day long at her office, it had always been a wonderfully quiet, peaceful respite.

  So then, why did it suddenly feel too quiet?

  And how could she possibly feel lonely when she had two absolutely wonderful furry companions?

  She didn’t already miss Zach, darn it. It wasn’t at all okay that he could have taken a spot in her life that quickly, or that thoroughly.

  Her phone rang and she had her hands too full with bags of dog food to look at the caller screen before answering.

  “Hi, Heather, it’s Lori. Zach’s sister. We met at the baseball game.”

  Heather had given Lori her phone number to pass on to a friend who was thinking about getting a new puppy, but she hadn’t expected Zach’s sister to call herself.

  “Of course I remember who you are,” she told Lori. “How are you?”

  “Are you free tonight? We’re doing an impromptu girls’ night here and I thought you’d be a great addition.”

  Any other time Heather would have made her excuses, but her empty house still loomed way too big. Besides, Lori and Sophie had been really nice. Why shouldn’t she spend some time with them? Just because she and Zach would eventually run their course and go their separate ways didn’t mean that she couldn’t make a couple of friends along the way.

  After a quick shower, she grabbed a bottle of wine and a container of brownies she hadn’t been able to resist at the recent farmer’s market. Female laughter rang out as Lori opened her door.

  “Heather’s here,” she called out to everyone and a moment later, Heather found herself being openly studied by several sets of eyes. “Heather, this is Chloe, Nicola, and you already know Sophie. Chloe is married to my brother Chase. Nicola is dating my brother Marcus.”

  Oh no. Why hadn’t she realized she’d be walking into Sullivan Significant Other land? Had Zach scrambled her brain that much with his supersexy massage that she couldn’t think straight anymore?

  “Look, she brought brownies. What did I tell you? Is she a good one, or what?”

  Chloe, who was extremely pregnant, nodded. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

  Nicola echoed the sentiment as she handed her a glass of red wine. Heather knew enough about Zach’s family to remember that Marcus owned a winery in Napa Valley, but was often on the road with his pop star girlfriend. She tried not to be too starstruck and prayed she wouldn’t make an idiot of herself around the girl by admitting the way she and Atlas liked to dance around the room to Nico’s songs.

  Lori pinned her with a knowing glance. “A friend of mine was at the fundraiser last night and said it went really well.” She raised her eyebrows. “She also mentioned something about a kiss.”

  Clearly, word had spread—quickly—not only about Zach donating his car, but also about the scorching kiss outside the Fairmont. Heather was glad Lori wasn’t the type to beat around the bush, because now that she had finally clued in to what was going on, she had to make sure they didn’t have the wrong idea.

  “Zach and I are still just friends.” As the three other women blinked at her in surprise, she clarified, “With some benefits.” Despite the fact that she knew she was blushing, she wanted them to understand. “But we’re still just friends.” She looked at Lori. “Sorry, I know you were hoping for more than that, but—” She shrugged. “—it’s all either of us wants.”

  Nicola recovered first. “Lori and Sophie said I would really like you, but they were wrong. I love you.” She grinned. “Seriously, I think I’m going to dedicate my next song to you.”

  “Unless I beat you to it by having a girl and naming her Heather,” Chloe said.

  Heather realized she must have been sitting there with a shell-shocked look on her face when Sophie explained, “They’ve never seen a woman resist falling head over heels in love with Zach before. Especially when he puts on the charm by giving away an expensive car to try to impress her.” Sophie thought about it for a moment. “I haven’t either, actually. Women always get so stupid around him, just because of what he looks like. It’s got to be kind of weird for him, even though I guess he’s used to it by now.”

  Chloe nodded her agreement. “At my wedding, you should have seen my girlfriends. I thought they’d all be trying to get at Smith because he’s a movie star. But they were practically forming a line in front of Zach. Chase told me that Smith loves having him around as a foil. I heard he once offered him a fulltime job on the set of his movies just to hang around and deflect attention.”

  Heather laughed. She could all too easily picture it. But she couldn’t let them think Zach had given away
the car for selfish reasons.

  “He really wanted to support the animal shelter with his donation,” she insisted.

  “Of course he did. Like I told you at the game, he’s nice,” Lori said, before adding around the brownie she’d shoved into her mouth, “Even when we were kids, Sophie and I couldn’t tell who wanted to hang out at our house because they wanted to be our friends, or who was just there to drool over Zach.”

  “You’ve got to tell us your secret of staying so resistant to him, so we can pass it on to our friends,” Nicola said.

  Heather worked to keep her smile intact even as a picture of her father coming back from one of his business trips all smiles, with false words of love, slammed into her.

  Her “secret” wasn’t one she would wish on anyone else. It was better that all of them believed love was real, that they held onto hope rather than cynicism.

  But she knew they wouldn’t let her off without giving them an answer, so she said, “Well, despite the fact that he isn’t hard to look at and he makes me laugh, he’s also really irritating. And way too possessive.” At the perfect silence that followed, she turned to Lori and Sophie and said, “No offense. For all his faults, he can be a really nice guy.”

  “For all his faults?” Sophie echoed with wide eyes.

  “Way too possessive?” Lori looked around at the other women, before turning back to Heather. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same Zach Sullivan?”

  Heather couldn’t believe they’d miss something that obvious about him. “Haven’t you noticed that mine is practically his favorite word?”

  Nicola started choking on her sip of wine and as Chloe patted her back, she told Heather, “Chase and I tried the friends-with-benefits thing.” She looked down at her belly. “Pretty obvious how well that worked for us, isn’t it?”

  Heather wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make her feel better or worse about her agreement with Zach. But before she could decide, Nicola said, “Cover your ears, girls,” to Lori and Sophie, before telling Heather, “Marcus and I skipped the whole friends thing and went straight for the benefits. It was just supposed to be a one-night fling.”

  “I still can’t believe you fell asleep on him during your one-night stand,” Lori said.

  Nicola shot her a mock frown. “Can’t you at least pretend that you don’t know all the details of my whirlwind romance with your oldest brother?”

  Lori rolled her eyes. “We’re Sullivans. It’s our code to know absolutely everything about each other. Right, Soph?”

  Sophie took a sip from her glass of sparkling grape juice. “Unfortunately, yes.” Just as Lori’s mouth opened, likely to say something incriminating, Sophie beat her to the punch by telling Heather, “I seduced Jake at Chloe’s wedding and ended up pregnant. But it turned out he’d been in love with me for as long as I’d been in love with him, so it all ended up working out.”

  Heather was overwhelmed not only by how open each of the women was being with her—and each other—but also by what they’d told her about the other Sullivans. Each of their one-night stand and friends-with-benefits attempts had turned into long-term relationships and marriages.

  Oh no...what was she doing?

  And just how far over her head was she really?

  “Zach’s racing for Tommy’s team tomorrow in LA, isn’t he?” Lori asked.

  “I hate it when he does those races,” Sophie admitted. “At least when Gabe is running into burning buildings, I know he’s facing danger to help people. But if Zach crashes, it’s just for fun. I swear I’ll never forgive him if he gets hurt in one of those stupid races.”

  Sophie’s concerns echoed the ones Heather had been trying to push away ever since Zach had mentioned the race.

  Lori dismissed it with a simple, “Zach is indestructible.”

  Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the way just thinking about him made her endorphins shoot off into the stratosphere, but Heather wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out Zach actually was indestructible.

  Unfortunately, she was pretty sure that she wasn’t...and when the day came that friends-with-benefits turned to just-friends, or to nothing at all, she was no longer sure she’d be walking away from that crash in one piece.

  Even if Zach could, all too easily.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Monday morning came too bright and early for the little sleep Heather had managed. She told herself it was one too many dark chocolate brownies that had kept her awake, rather than the way the bed already seemed too big without Zach holding her as she slept.

  They’d only spent two nights together. She couldn’t possibly miss him already, and shouldn’t be on pins and needles over worries about him getting hurt in the race that morning.

  An hour later, after checking in with her staff and accepting their congratulations on the successful fundraiser, she settled in behind her computer in her office. Atlas immediately took his place on the big dog bed in the corner and closed his eyes to take his morning nap. But instead of draping herself over Atlas the way she usually did, Cuddles stood in the middle of the room and gave Heather one of those pathetic little whines she’d started last night when she realized Zach wasn’t back yet.

  Heather scooped up the puppy and gave her a kiss on her muzzle. “Don’t worry, he’ll be home soon.” When the puppy still looked sad, she found herself echoing Lori’s words from the night before. “Zach is indestructible. He’ll be just fine. How about we watch him win the race together?”

  She kept the puppy on her lap as she clicked on the live streaming link he’d emailed her. A bunch of men in colorful racing suits were walking around the fancy cars, but it wasn’t hard for her to spot Zach. He was taller, broader, a thousand times sexier than any of the other drivers.

  Her heart beat a little faster just watching him run one big hand over the body of the car, and thrill bumps lifted across the surface of her skin as if he were touching her instead of the vehicle.

  Cuddles let out a soft yap that made Heather think she could see Zach on the screen, too, and it made Heather’s stomach hurt to think of how the puppy was going to react when Zach gave her back to his brother.

  There was no way for the young dog to understand that she shouldn’t have let herself get so attached to him, that she shouldn’t have made the mistake of falling in love with him.

  Good words of warning for all females everywhere.

  The drivers got into their cars and Heather gripped the puppy tighter, burying her chin in the super-soft fur on top of Cuddles’s head as the cars zipped away from the starting blocks. Zach was in the Sullivan Autos car, of course, the now-familiar blue and gold logo a blur as he pushed the pedal to the metal.

  She couldn’t believe how close he got to the other cars as he did one lap, then two, then three. He wasn’t in the lead yet, but something told her he was simply biding his time, taking it easy the way it always looked like he did, before going all in for the win.

  She remembered what he’d said to her in the elevator: Trust me, whenever I’ve decided to focus on something I want, I always get it.

  No question about it, Zach Sullivan wouldn’t race if he wasn’t in it for the win.

  Again and again the cars wove around the track, until seemingly from out of nowhere, Zach’s car shot out ahead of the pack, and they were all eating his dust.

  For a moment, she forgot to be scared about his getting hurt as she chanted, “Go, go, go!” at the screen.

  Cuddles was standing with her front paws on the desk, joining in with her in dog language. And when Zach finished the race a good car length ahead of the rest, she lifted the puppy up and cheered.

  Only, it turned out the two of them weren’t the only ones who were happy with Zach’s performance. Because as he unfolded his large body from the car, several scantily clad girls rushed over to him and wrapped their perfect bodies around him in congratulations.

  Tina knocked, then popped her head in. “I thought I heard you call for m
e. Is everything okay in here?”

  God, no, it wasn’t okay. How could it be when she was literally being eaten up, inside and out, by jealousy? She wanted to rip the other women’s hands off Zach.

  He was hers!

  She clicked on the little X at the top of her screen to close the streaming video and nodded at Tina. “Everything’s fine, thanks.”

  It would be, at least, once she’d set her brain back to rights and refocused her attention where it should be.

  She put Cuddles on the floor. “I’d like to go over the final numbers for the shelter this morning so that I can draft up a release on it by tonight.”

  But as soon as they pulled up the spreadsheet to tally up the expenses and income from the auction items, and Tina exclaimed over the Lamborghini that Zach had donated, Heather realized it wasn’t going to be quite that easy.

  Because somehow, in the span of one short week, Zach Sullivan had infiltrated every part of her life.

  * * *

  Zach had always believed that there were few things better than the rush of being in a race car.

  Being with Heather was better. Way better.

  When Tommy had called to ask him to race, for the first time ever, instead of jumping at the chance, Zach had tried to turn him down. He’d told himself it was because he wanted to stay with Heather in the hotel room to spend the entire day exploring every inch of her skin, to make her laugh between acrobatic bouts of lovemaking, to watch her eyes light up and her skin flush with joy and then the heat of desire again and again.

  But even as he tried to deny the truth, he knew his reasons for not wanting to race were bigger than that.

  What, he couldn’t stop wondering, if this was it? What if his number came up on the race track...and he didn’t get to see Heather again?

  No.

  He’d been careful. So had she. They’d agreed not to fall in love with each other.

  Besides, he hadn’t died in the race. Not this time, anyway.