Rancher's Dream

by B. J Daniels

  She stared at him. “How do you know that?”

  “Flint.”

  “Right.” She nodded. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her stomach churned. Tears burned her eyes. When she’d first met Ethan, he’d seemed too good to be true. Why would a man like that be interested in a small-town librarian like her?

  Of course it had been too good to be true. That a man like that could love her. So why? Why had he courted her the way he had? Why marry her if any of this was true? It made no sense.

  “Your brother, the sheriff. He just happened to mention it to you?”

  Hawk glanced away. “When I heard that your husband was missing, I asked Flint to do some checking into Ethan,” Hawk said.

  She couldn’t believe this. “You what?”

  “I was worried about you and after last night—”

  Drey shook her head, so angry she couldn’t speak. Hawk didn’t want her, but he couldn’t seem to let her go either.

  “Damn it, Drey, you needed to know. The FBI is looking for him.”

  “Well, I’m sure you told your brother that he’s in Mexico City.”

  “He’s not in Mexico City. He hasn’t left the country. The feds think he’s still here in Gilt Edge.”

  “How do they know that?”

  “I suspect they’ve been watching your house.”

  Watching her house? She bit her lower lip, fighting back the scream that wanted to scale her throat and burst out. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands. But to her surprise, it was a laugh that escaped her lips. “This must give you so much satisfaction.”

  “Actually,” he said, still staring down at his boots. “It breaks my heart.”

  “You have a heart?” She hadn’t meant to be so flippant but all the years of controlling her emotions around him had worn thin. Her life was such a disaster right now she didn’t give a damn.

  His gaze rose slowly from the sidewalk until those gray eyes burned into her making her own heart thunder in her ears. “You think I wanted to bring you this news? You think I don’t want to find that bastard and...” His voice broke, but his gaze remained steady on hers. “You think I don’t kick my sorry ass every day for hurting you? Worse, not being able to get past what happened?” He dragged his gaze away.

  They stood like that, the past still a barrier between them. If only one of them could break it down and put an end to this.

  “I can’t change what I did.” Her lower lip trembled. She bit down on it and then, her own voice cracking, said, “You think I haven’t wished I could go back and do everything differently?”

  “Drey—” He reached for her, but she pulled away.

  “I can’t do this.” She shook her head. “You just had to tell me about Ethan, didn’t you? You had to track me down on the street to tell me this?”

  He shook his head. “My timing could have been better, yes, but I was afraid if I waited... I didn’t do it to hurt you. You have to believe that.” His voice broke. “You had to know. If there’s a chance the FBI might think you’re involved... Drey, surely you see that he isn’t the man you thought he was.”

  “And neither are you,” she said, wiping at a tear. She shook her head and turned her back on him as she headed for her SUV.

  “Why can’t you admit that you made a mistake?” Hawk demanded. “Ethan Baxter? Seriously?”

  She bristled as she stopped and slowly turned to look at him again. Trying to still her raging emotions, she closed the distance between them. Across the street, she saw that a woman had stopped to watch them. But she didn’t care. It probably wouldn’t be long before the whole town was talking.

  “Excuse me?” she demanded. “I had to move on. I couldn’t keep doing...whatever it was you and I were doing to each other.”

  Hawk shook his head. “But with Ethan Baxter?”

  She took a step toward him, feeling herself getting angrier. “Why not Ethan? You were never going to forgive me.”

  He looked away. “In time—”

  “In time?” she demanded. “Do you realize how long I’ve been waiting?” She saw something in his gray eyes that made her start. “Now? Now you’re going to forgive me? Now you’re going to act like you can’t live without me?”

  “I didn’t say—”

  “Exactly. You didn’t say anything. You just don’t want me to be married to Ethan Baxter. You just want me pining after you for the rest of my life.”

  “Look, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.” Hawk made her angrier than anyone she’d ever known. “You’re right, though. I did make a mistake when I thought you and I could talk about the past and maybe free each other from...this.” She waved an arm through the air.

  All her emotions rushed to the surface again. There was no stopping them this time. She broke down and began to sob, her words coming out with both pain and tears as she pleaded, “You can’t keep doing this, Hawk. Let me go. Please.”

  “This isn’t about me being jealous. I’m worried about you.” He reached for her, but she sidestepped him, jerked open the SUV door and climbed in. As she cranked over the engine, Hawk stepped back.

  She pulled out of the parking space and pressed the gas pedal to the floor. Don’t look back. Damn it, don’t you dare look back.

  It wasn’t until she was a block away that she looked into her rearview mirror. He stood in the middle of the street, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his head down.

  She didn’t look back again as she drove away, tears streaming down her face.

  * * *

  COULD YOU HAVE handled that any worse? Hawk mentally kicked himself as he drove back toward the ranch. Cyrus had left a message that he was waiting on more barbed wire. Hawk swung by the store and now the back of his pickup was full of wire and fence posts. He was actually looking forward to another hard hot day stringing fence. After his run-in with Drey he felt as if he deserved it.

  But he’d forgotten his gloves at the ranch. He drove down the road only to see his sister Lillie’s SUV parked in front of the house. He swore under his breath. He should have known it was only a matter of time before he’d have to face her after what Drey had told her.

  After parking, he got out of his truck, telling himself that nothing Lillie could say to him could be worse than what he’d already said to himself. He started toward the house, figuring she’d be waiting for him inside.

  But as he passed her SUV, he saw that she was sitting behind the wheel waiting for him. He tapped on the glass, surprised she hadn’t gone inside. He braced himself for the dressing-down he was about to get.

  It wasn’t an angry Lillie who stepped out of the SUV, though. He saw that she’d been crying. With a curse, he realized this was going to be much worse than he’d thought. She rushed to him and threw her arms around his waist as she buried her face in his chest. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  He held her, letting her cry it out, fighting his own emotions. For years he’d been trying to put all this behind him. Why did Drey have to tell Lillie? Why bring up the past at all? Did she really think this was going to help things between them?

  Lillie pulled back to look up into his face.

  “I’d offer you my bandanna but...”

  His sister waved off the offer and pulled out a handful of tissues from the pocket of her jean jacket. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded after she’d wiped her tears and blown her nose.

  “It was something I wanted to forget,” he said.

  “But you haven’t forgotten. Or forgiven Drey.”

  He groaned. “This is another reason I didn’t tell you or anyone else. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “So you’ve kept it bottled up all these years.”

  “Lillie, as you can see, I’m about to take more barbed wire and posts out
to Cyrus.” He pointed toward his pickup, the back loaded. “I’d say we can talk about this later, but quite frankly, I’d rather not. It’s history. Water under the bridge. No going back.”

  She shook her head. “You are so like all the Cahill men. Stubborn jackasses.”

  He blinked at her words and couldn’t help smiling. “Your point?”

  “Drey. Her marriage hasn’t been consummated.”

  Groaning, he said, “I’m not sure that changes anything. She’s married. She’s asked me to leave her alone, let her get on with her life.”

  “And you’re going to do it?” Lillie sounded thunderstruck. “Of course that isn’t what she wants. Do you know anything at all about women?”

  “No, I think I’ve proved that. I was happy accepting that I would be a bachelor the rest of my life. I believe you’re the one who was determined I get married.”

  His sister shook her head. “Drey still loves you. If you can’t see that, well, then, you’re just blind.”

  Hawk pulled off his Stetson and scratched his head. Just minutes ago, he’d told Drey that they both still loved each other. Sometimes love wasn’t enough, but he wasn’t about to tell Lillie that. “I need to get this barbed—”

  “Wire to Cyrus.” She practically stomped her feet as the anger he’d expected finally showed itself. “Look at all the years you’ve wasted. It isn’t too late. But if you hesitate, then you will end up a cranky old bachelor and you’ll only have yourself to blame for being a lonely, sad old man.” With that she stormed off to her SUV.

  He watched her go, mumbling under his breath, “There are worse things than being a bachelor, damn it.” Like knowing that Drey was in trouble and not being able to do a damned thing about it.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  DREY CHECKED HERSELF in the SUV mirror after pulling into the pharmacy parking lot. Her eyes were red, her cheeks flushed. That scene back there on the street with Hawk had left her shaken. Ethan was being investigated by the FBI? He wasn’t in Mexico City? Apparently the FBI were watching the house because they believed he was holed up inside? It was ridiculous. All of this had to be a mistake.

  Why can’t you admit that you made a mistake?

  Hawk’s words echoed in her ears. Hawk. What infuriated her more than anything was the fact that Hawk couldn’t wait to tell her the news. She grumbled under her breath as she turned the rearview mirror where she could study her face. She looked as if she’d been crying, but there was little she could do about that.

  As she got out of the SUV, she reminded herself that she had worse things to concern herself with. She suspected her husband’s brother could have been drugging her the past couple of days. She pushed open the door to the pharmacy and entered the back to find Brittany having lunch. Past her, Drey could see her assistant filling prescription orders.

  Brittany swallowed the last of her sandwich, got up and closed the door to the pharmacy before turning to Drey. If she was surprised to see her tearstained red face, she made no mention of it.

  “You had a chance to check the items I left you?” Drey asked.

  “I did. The pills are a generic aspirin. The coffee...”

  “Was just coffee.” Drey nodded, feeling foolish, but a little surprised that Ethan would have the medicine cabinet stocked with generic aspirin. He was such a stickler for only the best brand names of everything.

  Brittany seemed to hesitate. “Can you tell me what is going on? I don’t mean to pry.”

  She shook her head. “Just me being silly. I haven’t been feeling well...”

  “You thought someone was trying to poison you?”

  “No, more like drug me. I had some hallucinations. I thought maybe a hallucinogen. Maybe even a heavy-duty sleeping pill. One that might resemble generic aspirin.”

  “There are some that could resemble generic aspirin. But the ones you gave me were just aspirin.” Her friend studied her. “I’m worried about you.”

  Drey’s laugh held no humor. “I’ve been worried about myself. It was probably simply exhaustion from the wedding and everything. I had a few bad dreams.”

  “If they persist—”

  “I’ll go to a doctor,” she said and touched her friend’s arm. “Thank you. You’ve relieved my mind.” Was that true?

  “If you suspect someone might be slipping you something—”

  “Obviously, I did, but apparently I was only being paranoid.”

  “The fact that you even thought it...” Brittany shook her head. “Drey—”

  “That person is no longer around,” she assured her friend. Jet was gone. Problem solved. It just would have been nice to have proof for her own mental stability. “And, as it turns out, I was wrong.”

  Brittany looked skeptical. Not half as skeptical as Drey felt.

  At the grocery store the same thing happened with the credit card. It was the only one she had since she’d canceled all the ones in her old name. Fortunately, she had enough cash on her to pay for the few things she’d picked up. Had Ethan not paid the bill? He took care of all of the finances for her. Or was there just a glitch, like Lillie had suggested?

  She debated going back to the house. Where else would she go? She was married to Ethan. It was her home. But she couldn’t help thinking about what Hawk had said. If the FBI really were investigating Ethan’s business and they’d found something illegal and were about to close in...

  But that wasn’t what had her driving toward the house. The FBI thought Ethan was still in the area. They’d been watching the house, Hawk had said. That meant that they thought he was still in there...somewhere.

  She punched in the new code at the entrance to the property. The gate slowly swung open. As she drove through, she remembered their wedding night when Ethan had driven through the gate, looked back and cursed. He’d said it was nothing, but she’d seen the car drive slowly past. The FBI? Had they been following them from the church?

  In her rearview mirror, she watched the gate close. A dark sedan drove slowly past. She couldn’t see the driver before the car disappeared around a curve. Had she been followed? The thought chilled her. Did the FBI think she might be involved? But involved in what?

  She shivered as she drove on up the paved road. The locked gate should have made her feel safer along with the chain-link fence that surrounded the property around the house. But it hadn’t kept Hawk out the other night, had it? With Jet gone, she told herself she would be fine in the house alone.

  But was she alone?

  That thought did nothing to alleviate her worry. Was it possible Ethan was somewhere in that house, hiding? The idea was so ludicrous that it made her laugh. Why would he hide? She’d heard about big businesses like his being investigated. Often it came to nothing. Ethan didn’t seem like the kind of man who would hide from anyone.

  She tried to put it out of her mind. Her talk with Lillie had gone well. It had gone less well with Hawk, but that was to be expected. Well, their secret was out. Other than the fact that Hawk was right. She still loved him.

  But it didn’t change anything. As she pulled into the parking garage under the house she tried to assure herself that there was nothing keeping her from finding happiness with Ethan.

  Unless he really was hiding and the FBI was about to close in.

  As much as she disliked the elevator, she didn’t want to carry all of her purchases up flights of stairs. After calling the elevator, she began to load what she’d bought into it. At the last minute she realized she didn’t have to ride it, she could take the stairs and when the elevator stopped at the kitchen, she would unload the items there and then send the rest on up to the master suite.

  Feeling smug at figuring out a way to avoid riding in the elevator, she pushed the button and turned to the stairs. She heard the mechanism begin to hum as she took the first few steps and stopped. Jet had been staying on the sta
ff quarters floor. Out of curiosity, she walked down to make sure he’d taken everything when he’d left.

  She checked each of the rooms and found one where the bed looked as if it had been slept in. She stripped it and took the bedding down to the laundry where she got a load going. She felt almost domestic as she took the stairs up to the kitchen. All the way, she couldn’t help looking over her shoulder.

  Just as she’d planned, the elevator was waiting for her. She quickly unloaded the groceries, telling herself she was fine. Wasn’t it possible that the FBI thought Ethan was still around because his phone was still in the area? Or maybe because his car was still parked outside?

  She put everything she’d bought away and then sent the elevator up to the master suite before taking the stairs again up the two floors.

  As she passed the media and conference rooms level, she glanced in. The only time she’d been in this part of the house was when she and Jet had been searching for Ethan. Now she hesitated. Jet had searched half of each floor. She hadn’t been in this area at all.

  As she moved deeper into the large living room area, she caught a whiff of a familiar scent. Ethan’s aftershave. The realization stopped her cold in the middle of the room.

  She took another sniff, telling herself that she’d only imagined it. She found herself listening for him. Did she really expect to hear Ethan moving around in one of the conference rooms? Or maybe on the sundeck?

  Still, that feeling of not being alone brushed over her like a spiderweb. She shuddered and willed her feet to move. First the conference rooms. All empty. Then the sundeck. It, too, was empty. No big surprise.

  Drey was just starting to turn back toward the elevator when she spotted an ashtray on the small table in the sunroom. Something glittered in the afternoon light from inside the ashtray.

  Like a sleepwalker, she moved toward it. She was close when she recognized what lay in the ashtray. Fingers trembling, she carefully picked up the two cuff links. As she did, she turned quickly, as if hearing something behind her.