by Jenny Hale
Her face lit up with that news. “We have a dog?”
“Yes. His name is Henry. I wasn’t allowed to bring him, but I’d like to have you visit so you can see him. Would you like that?”
“Very much.” Then Elizabeth’s eyes landed on Noelle, and her mouth dropped open, the confusion returning for a moment. “Sophia,” she said, looking at her as if she were an old friend.
William gasped.
Noelle knew she resembled Gram by looking at Gram’s old photos, but she never thought for a second Elizabeth would confuse her for her grandmother. Her skin went cold and her breathing turned shallow. What if she said something to tell Alex about Gram? What if Alex put two and two together? Noelle hadn’t had a chance to talk to him about it yet, and even if she had, she wasn’t sure it was her place to say anything. She hadn’t discussed it with William.
“It’s been a long time, but I remember your name—Sophia.”
The corners of Elizabeth’s mouth were turned up cautiously; she didn’t look distressed in any way.
Noelle opened her mouth to say something but Elizabeth cut her off. “Sophia, take care of William. I’m in here and I can’t, but I know he loves you.”
“What?” Alex said quietly, trying to make sense of her babble.
Noelle turned to William. His jaw was slack, his eyes round, as he attempted to see her face. She also knew that William was only finding out now that Elizabeth knew Gram’s name.
“Who is Sophia?” William asked, her gram’s name rolling off his tongue easily, probably because he couldn’t believe she could know.
“She was your first love.” Shaking her head, slightly agitated, she said to Noelle, “You look like her. I’m sorry. I thought…” Elizabeth was perplexed, blinking, looking at the floor.
Noelle’s face felt like it was being pricked with a million needles, the heat spreading down to her neck, but she kept herself together so as not to worry Elizabeth. Alex’s eyes were moving between William and Noelle, and she knew she’d need to provide an explanation for what she was about to say, but the important thing right now was to keep Elizabeth calm. “I do look like her,” Noelle said carefully. Her grandmother and Alex’s grandfather… would Alex be okay with that? She looked over at Alex again, but this time, it was clear that he’d caught on as well, his face expressionless as it always was when he was processing.
“I can’t take care of him,” Elizabeth said, her voice suddenly breaking with emotion. She was fidgeting and welling up herself. “I just…” She shook her head, still confused. “I don’t think I was…” She sat down as if to get herself together. “I wasn’t everything he needed.”
Noelle sat down beside her, William and Alex following her over to the sofa. “You know, Elizabeth, my grandmother told me once that, on the ride of life, we make a lot of stops to get to where we belong. Sophia was just one of those stops for William. He belongs with you. He loves you.”
She looked up at Noelle. “Oh,” she said, simply, relaxing and becoming still, leaning back comfortably on the sofa. “Now you tell me.”
They all laughed, tears in their eyes.
Noelle took William’s hand and drew him nearer until he was standing in front of Elizabeth. “This is William,” she said. “Do you remember him?”
Elizabeth tipped her head to see him, and smiled. “I think so,” she said. “I think so.” She nodded as if convincing herself.
“He loves you very much.”
This made her smile.
“And this is Alex.” Noelle stood, taking his hand and pulling him close for support.
“And he loves you very much,” Elizabeth said, startling Noelle.
“He does?” Noelle chuckled and turned to Alex, but his face was now serious yet adoring, and all her worry about William and her gram dissolved away the moment she saw the way Alex looked at her. In that moment, she could see his face on every Christmas morning, watching Lucas in his school plays, having dinner with her over glasses of wine, holding her in the early light of morning.
“Yes, he does, Sophia,” Elizabeth said, before pulling the quilt off the arm of the sofa and covering up. “Thank you for coming,” she said. “William, will you sit with me now? I’m tired.”
William lowered himself down beside her and put his arm around her. She covered them both with the quilt and laid her head on his shoulder. William closed his eyes and cuddled her, wrapping both arms around her.
“Mm,” she said with a smile. “I always loved it when you did that.”
After they’d gotten home, Noelle, Alex, and William had spent some time in the grand living room talking. Noelle had gone and gotten the box that she’d filled at Pop-pop’s and she had it in her lap. She didn’t mention the ring; she’d decided to let William tell Alex about it—and she knew he would in his own time; she’d leave it up to him because, in the end, it was still Elizabeth’s and, as Gram had said, she was only protecting it for him.
“The thing is,” William said, “I thought by not explaining Sophia, I was protecting Elizabeth. If I’d known she’d seen us in the restaurant that day, if she had confronted me, I’d have told her everything. I never knew.” He had his forearms on his knees, clearly affected by this revelation.
“I believe you,” Alex said, putting his hand on William’s shoulder. “When I saw you with Grandmother today, I could tell how much you love her. Staying away so you wouldn’t run into Sophia seems ridiculous now.”
“You’re right,” William agreed. “I couldn’t have changed whom I fell in love with, but I could’ve changed how I handled it.” He clasped a hand around Alex’s wrist as if to drive home that point.
Alex looked over at Noelle, and by the expression on his face, it was clear that he understood his grandfather’s message. “If Sophia was anything like Noelle, I could see how you fell in love with her, Grandfather,” he said, not taking his eyes off Noelle.
Remembering William’s story about the café, Noelle pulled a pink napkin with gold lettering that read “Early Bird Café” from the box Pop-pop had given her. Then, she turned it around for William to view, knowing he might not be able to make it out. “Gram kept a napkin from a café—I wonder if it was the same one as yours?”
William placed a shaky hand over his mouth. After he’d gotten over his shock a little, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, opening it up. From it, he retrieved a tiny square of something the exact color of the napkin that Noelle was holding. “Sophia was the very first person who taught me about the kind of man I wanted to be. I kept it to remind me of that.” Carefully, he unfolded it, revealing that it was a perfect match to hers. “Does it look like this one?”
Unable to catch her breath, Noelle said, “Yes, it does.” It was an exact match, which meant that Gram had found that napkin just as special.
With a huge smile on his face, William laughed, the complete surprise of it nearly too much to bear. A look of awe overtook his features as he strained to see her, his determination showing. Then he leaned out a little to try to view Alex, who had his arm around Noelle now, fiddling with the seam in her sweater. “And here we are today,” William said, “two generations later.” His smile dropped to a look of warning. “You know, the love I had for Sophia was fleeting, but I hope, this time, the outcome will be different.” He turned back to Noelle. “Thank you for making us go today,” he said.
Alex smiled, and, for the first time in a long time, agreed with his grandfather.
After Noelle had brought Lucas and Henry back to the mansion, the snow piled up so high that the roads weren’t clear enough to drive. Noelle had promised Lucas they’d go sledding the next day, but she wasn’t sure how she’d get him to the big hill that they liked to go down. So, when they met Alex in the informal dining area for dinner, she decided to ask if he knew of any great spots.
“I actually do know of a great place,” he said, as Lucas climbed up beside him, smiling at him. “It’s on the other side of the woods on the edg
e of the property. But we can go around to get to it. It just might take some creativity in all this snow… Let me think about it tonight and I’ll have something prepared for us tomorrow afternoon.” He ruffled Lucas’s hair. Noelle couldn’t hide her excitement that Alex was planning to join them.
Noelle was glad for the diversion after visiting Elizabeth. Her mind was swimming with conflicting thoughts. Never before had she been so up in the air about what to do.
“It’s the night of the first really big snow,” Lucas said, sipping from his dinosaur cup. “That means it’s camp-out night.”
Noelle had completely forgotten. Every year, on the first big snow, she and Lucas took all the blankets and pillows in the house and piled them up in front of the TV in the living room, popped popcorn, and watched movies and read books as late as they could before falling asleep in the middle of it all. “It’s already late,” she said. “We’ve used up valuable TV time. How about tomorrow night? Can we do it then?”
“Okay!” Lucas turned to Alex. “Will you come too?” he asked. “Mom always told me I could invite a friend but I never had anyone to call until now.”
Alex gave him a loving look. “I hope you’re not sleeping outside during this camp-out,” he said with a chuckle.
“No!” Lucas giggled. “It’s in the living room. Will you come?”
“Absolutely,” he said, not bothering to ask Noelle, probably because he didn’t want her to find a reason why he shouldn’t. The thing was, she didn’t want to find a reason. She wanted him there just as much as Lucas did. But the last thing she needed was to have him sleeping next to her in her living room because if she let him, there was no way she’d be able to sleep.
“Yay!” Lucas got so excited he nearly knocked his dinosaur cup over. He caught it with his little hands and laughed.
Chapter Thirty-Four
William had asked Noelle to come to see him early that morning.
“I’m going to have to tell Alex the story about the ring at some point,” he said, without any prior discussion as she poured milk into his cup of tea for him. “I know the fact that Elizabeth didn’t have it has always bothered him, and things were going so well after seeing her, I didn’t want to bring anything up that would put a damper on things.” She took in a steadying breath, knowing that he was right to tell Alex. Certainly, he wouldn’t get so upset at this point—the ring had been returned. But then he’d know that she’d held this secret about it, kept if from him. She also couldn’t get out of her head the idea that he’d said he’d never forgive William if he gave it to someone other than his wife. Would he still feel that way?
“It’s your decision and I think it’s the right one. I just worry that Alex will hate me for keeping it from him when I knew about the ring.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” he said.
She stirred his tea with a silver spoon, the handle embossed with some sort of crest. His remark surprised her. “How so?”
“You’re thinking of giving up. That’s the real reason why you’re considering moving across the country. You’re assuming that Alex will be upset about the ring, you’re assuming you can’t get that coffee shop in order before New Year’s, and you’re assuming that things with you and Alex are too good to be true. But you haven’t given it everything you’ve got yet.”
His assertion yanked all her insecurities to the front of her mind, all the things she’d refused to ask herself because she didn’t have the answers.
“Talk to Alex. You have an incredible way of making him calm and relaxed—I’ve never witnessed anything like it. Be honest with him. He’ll understand about the ring; he has the business sense you need and you have the dream and vision for the coffee shop. Together, you two could make this work. And for God’s sake, you two should be together.”
“I don’t know…”
He looked directly at her and for an instant, his gaze was so intense she thought he’d regained his vision. “Yes, you do know,” he said. “That feeling you get when you look at him, I know that feeling. It doesn’t come that often. I was lucky enough to have it twice. How many times have you had it?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, not wanting to admit that she’d only had this feeling once and it was with Alex.
Noelle wouldn’t have all the answers now, so she’d decided to put the questions out of her mind and enjoy the snow. She and Lucas had bundled up to meet Alex. When they arrived at the front door, Noelle’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she looked at the large tractor in front of them. Clattering loudly at the end of a long clearing of snow sat an enormous plow. Carefully, she helped Lucas down the steps as she squinted to see Alex in the driver’s seat, his head down, working on his phone, waiting for them. With a jerk, the front plow raised above the cab and he waved.
“Do you know how to drive this thing?” Noelle asked when they reached the open door on the other side. Alex looked out of place in the seat, one of his hands on the gearshift and the other on the steering wheel.
“Nope. Never driven it in my life.”
Lucas giggled as he wriggled into the center of the bench seat, Noelle climbing in after him. “Then how are you going to drive it?”
Alex smiled a crooked grin at Lucas. “Trial and error. But if we want to go sledding, it’s the only vehicle I have to get us across the grounds in all this snow.” The tractor gave a lurch as he put it into gear, throwing Lucas forward. He caught himself on the dash just as Alex threw a protective arm in front of him.
Noelle peeked behind her seat—in the back of the cab was a bright yellow plastic snow sled. It was long and thin like a boat, with a rope handle. Lucas had noticed it too.
“I think I might need some help,” Alex said, eyeing him. “Why don’t you sit on my lap and you can drive? Then I can focus on hitting the gas and shifting this thing.”
Lucas looked at him in delighted disbelief. “I don’t know how to drive!” He laughed.
Alex reached around him and scooped Lucas up by grabbing under his arms, sliding him onto his lap. “Well,” he said with a chuckle, “you’re going to learn right now.”
Lucas looked over at Noelle, his eyes wide, his smile so big she felt like her heart would burst as he sat on Alex’s lap, his tiny hands on the steering wheel. These were the kinds of experiences she knew he’d been missing without a father in his life, and suddenly, she didn’t want to live without them.
The tractor heaved once more, causing Lucas to throw his head back and laugh as Noelle caught herself and gripped the edge of the seat. “Hold on!” Alex said, throwing an amused glance over at Noelle. He shifted, the engine groaning as the wheels rolled through the thick snow. Lucas was still laughing, his head swiveling between the front and Alex.
“Don’t look at me,” Alex teased. “Watch where you’re going!” Lucas turned back to the front and yanked the wheel as they swerved in a long arc around one of the Christmas trees on the lawn.
Alex pointed to the back corner of the property. “Head that way,” he said. They bumped along through the snow, Lucas now intently watching in front of him, the steering wheel vibrating in his hands so badly that Alex had to grab the bottom of it occasionally to keep it steady.
When they arrived at the back edge of the property, Alex slowed them down until they came to a stop.
“You could work this better than you said you could,” Noelle said, unable to hide her smile. Lucas was still on his lap and the two of them seemed so comfortable that anyone else looking on would think they’d known each other for years.
“I had the groundsmen show me how,” he said. “They thought I was crazy, I could tell.” He turned off the engine and lifted Lucas back onto the seat. “But I had to take drastic measures because we couldn’t miss this great sledding opportunity!” He winked at Lucas. “Let’s get the sled out of the back and see what it can do!”
Alex dragged the sled behind them as they clomped through the snow. It had piled up so high it was nearly at the
top of Noelle’s boots and she worried for Lucas. “Is the snow getting into your boots?” she asked.
“A little,” he said, unworried.
“It’ll make your feet cold. We won’t be able to stay out very long if your feet are wet.”
Alex handed Noelle the sled and lifted Lucas up onto his shoulders. Lucas squealed nervously and grabbed onto Alex’s head, covering his eyes.
“I can’t see,” Alex laughed.
Lucas, too nervous to let go, kept his hands planted where they were.
Alex reached out in front of him as if he were checking for obstacles. Noelle slipped the rope of the sled onto her wrist and took his hands. “I’ll guide you,” she giggled.
With the sled bouncing along lightly at their feet, she led him through the snow until they reached a hilly area where they stopped walking, the snow-covered landscape spreading out in front of them in every direction. Lucas gasped when he saw it, his hands finally dropping.
“That’s bigger than the hill we usually go down!” he said animatedly, his booted feet swinging by Alex’s chest.
Alex lifted Lucas and set him down in the snow. “Ready to try it?”
“Yes!” Lucas said. “Would you go down with me?”
“Of course,” Alex said. “But to be fair, I’ll have to go down with your mom too, so she doesn’t feel left out.” He offered a sideways grin toward Noelle, a confident look on his face, and she took in a deep breath, the butterflies wreaking havoc in her belly.
Alex climbed onto the flimsy sled, barely able to fit his broad frame into it. He left a small spot open at the front and Lucas got in.
“Ready?” he said, inching them toward the tipping point where they’d go sailing through the snow.
It had started to flurry again, the flakes settling on Lucas’s navy blue stocking cap as he nodded excitedly, squeezing his eyes shut and grasping Alex’s knees for something to hold onto.
“Here we go!” Alex pushed off, sending them sailing down the hill at tremendous speed, Lucas’s giggles floating up into the air and trailing behind them, like runaway balloons, all the way down the hill. His laugh was so genuine and lovely to hear that Noelle put her hands over her mouth to stifle her excitement. It made her heart full to witness Lucas and Alex having so much fun. It didn’t threaten her anymore, because she realized that Lucas wasn’t choosing Alex’s interests over hers. They each offered something different that, together, gave him the very best experiences.