Seeking The Dragon

by Sarah J. Stone

  Tio didn’t waste a moment, sprinting toward the stairs and grabbing a bowl and ladle to retrieve some of the hot water and take it upstairs. He met Cassi coming down the stairs and could see the tears flowing down her face. He was afraid to know if it was because of the reminder a baby might be for her, or if something horrible had happened in the moments he had been gone. When he arrived in the room, he could see that he midwife was talking softly to Maggie, who breathed shallowly on the bed.

  Setting down the bowl of water, he returned to the other side of the bed, holding Maggie’s hand, while the midwife cleaned her up and staunched the flow of blood. Once she was done, she helped Tio change the blood-soaked covers beneath her, carefully shifting her to one side and then the other to replace them. Once they were done, she told him to stay with her until she returned, as if he planned on going anywhere else.

  A few moments later, she returned with Cassi, who still carried the now sleeping baby in her arms. She lay him in the crib that had been set up on one end of their room and walked back over to Tio to put her hand on his shoulder.

  “Tio, I’m going to stay here with you tonight, and we’ll see how things go tomorrow. If you still need someone here, I’ll go get Lauren or Colleen to come and sit with you. Until Maggie feels a bit better, you’re going to need some help with the baby.”

  “Tell me the truth,” he said, not looking up at either her or the doctor, but addressing either who would answer him just the same. “Is she going to die?”

  “I don’t know,” the midwife replied soberly.

  Tio nodded quietly, feeling more dire than he had felt for quite a long time. The midwife said her farewells, telling him that she had given Cassi instructions if anything happened. Tio forgot all about the baby laying in the crib nearby. He couldn’t look at what he had created if it might mean the death of his beautiful wife. All night, he held her hand, afraid that if he let go, he would somehow take her remaining life force away and lose her forever.

  Chapter 18

  After several days, Tio was nearly inconsolable. Maggie lay in an almost catatonic state as Cassi, Colleen, and Lauren took turns helping him around the house and with the baby, who had yet to be named, or even held by his father. Finally, Cassi called him away from the room and sat him down to try to get him to eat at least a few bites of bread and some soup.

  “I’m not hungry,” he told her.

  “If you don’t eat, you’re going to die.”

  “Then I will die. Why be here if I lose her?”

  “Because you have someone else that needs you, too, Tio. There is a boy in there who needs a father to take care of him, to teach him to do all the things he will need to do when he is a man.”

  “His father has killed his mother. What have I to teach him?”

  “You have killed no one. This is not your fault. Maggie is still here, and she needs you to believe that she is going to be okay. She needs your strength.”

  “I don’t have any,” he said almost inaudibly.

  “Yes, you do!” she suddenly shouted at him. “I’m tired of this, Tio! Your wife is upstairs lying in bed, fighting, and you aren’t even trying to fight with her. Instead, you’ve already accepted that she is as good as dead. You’ve already resigned your son to a life as an orphan. If you don’t fight for both of them, who will?”

  “What would you know about it, Cassi?” he hissed at her angrily.

  “A lot more than you think,” she yelled back.

  He glared at her, dangerously close to telling her the one thing he had been holding back since coming here. Trying to calm himself, he jumped up from his chair and left, walking to the edge of the woods nearby and disappearing inside before shifting and running through the dimly lit thickness below. When he stopped, it was nearing darkness, and he was exhausted. He turned and returned to the house, realizing he had not bothered to strip and only had shredded clothes to wear. Covering himself with his destroyed shirt, he slipped into the house.

  Cassi looked up at him wordlessly and went back to trying to soothe the baby, giving it drops of goat’s milk in the absence of mother’s milk. It was not enough, and he was crying. Tio retrieved a pair of pants from nearby and slipped into them before walking over to them.

  “I’ll take him,” he said.

  Cassi said nothing, handing him the child and watching silently as he lay him against his bare chest, allowing him to suckle the warm goat’s milk from his smallest finger. It seemed to soothe the baby enough to calm him. Soon, he fell asleep, and so did Tio. Cassi gently shook him awake sometime later and took the baby from his arms.

  “Tio, she’s awake. Go upstairs. She’s awake.”

  Tio ran upstairs to find a very tired looking Maggie looking up at him weakly. He sat down and took her hand, holding it gently in his own as tears fell down his face.

  “I thought I had lost you,” he said.

  “Never,” she managed to say in a raspy voice. Tio reached for the cup of water by the bed and dripped it slowly across her lips, letting it seep into her mouth. “That is so good. Where is my son?”

  “He’s right here,” came a voice from behind her. Cassi lay the sleeping baby across her chest, and Maggie smiled down at him, then back up at Tio.

  “What have you named him?”

  “I haven’t. I was waiting on you.”

  “Radala”

  “Radala?” Tio said, uncertainly.

  “It means ‘runner’ in Gaelic,” she laughed.

  “Runner? Seems like an odd name for a dragon,” Cassi commented.

  “Not for one born feet first,” Maggie said with a weak laugh.

  Tio smiled down at her, knowing the name had far more meaning than that. Even in her weakened state, she managed to think of him and embrace his culture in the small ways she could afford. It was the same as the way she always made sure he kept Cassi close, inviting her in to their small family to be a part of his life and now, Radala’s, so that they kept his mother close to heart. The thought made him sad as he considered how he had behaved earlier.

  “Cassi, I am sorry about how I acted,” he said, standing to turn toward her.

  “Don’t worry about that, Tio. You were hurting. Consider it forgiven and forgotten.”

  “You are a very special woman, Cassi. I hope that you know that. You are family to me,” he told her, the closest he could come to the truth.

  “And you are to me,” she replied with a smile. “Now, I’m going to go get some sleep while the three of you bond for a bit. Try to get some soup down Maggie when you get the baby settled, and eat some yourself while you’re at it, or I’ll force feed the lot of you when I wake up.”

  Another few days, and life seemed to be almost back to normal. Maggie was weak, but up and about and finally managing to breastfeed the baby. The trio of Cassi, Colleen, and Lauren still hung about in case they were needed, but mostly they just used it as an excuse to play with young Radala, who was beginning to thrive and grow with his mother’s milk.

  Chapter 19

  It seemed like someone had taken the hands of the clock and spun them rapidly, as the years that followed seemed to speed by. Before they knew it, Radala was a small boy, toddling around behind his father at home and at the inn. The temporary placement of the McCords in care of the inn had become permanent, though business there was thriving enough now to afford them a decent wage in addition to room and board.

  “The usual?” Cassi asked as Tio, Maggie, Radala, and Colleen sat at a table in Mr. Baker’s place one day.

  “Of course,” Tio replied.

  “And what of you?” Cassi said, leaning down to get on Radala’s level.

  Rather than responding, he laughed and planted a big wet kiss on her nose. Cassi wrinkled it up in mock disgust as he told her what he wanted for lunch.

  “Same as Father,” he replied.

  “A boy after his father’s heart,” Cassi laughed, tussling his hair. He giggled and tried to reach hers before she stood up. It was cle
ar that they shared a bond, and for that, Tio was grateful. In fact, he was grateful for everything in his life these days. A bit later, when she returned with their food and drinks, she sat down with them.

  “So, I have news for you all,” she said with a slow smile.

  Tio couldn’t help but note that something about it seemed forced, disingenuous, but he waited to see what she would say next without commenting.

  “What is that, Cassi?” Maggie asked.

  “I’m getting married,” she told them.

  Tio put down his fork, but said nothing. He couldn’t. It cut him to the bone. He knew that he should be happy for her, but how could he be? He wanted to be angry. It felt like she was forsaking the deep love for her that his father had clung to, even on his deathbed. Still, his father was gone, and wasn’t she due a happiness of her own? He bit his tongue and tried to find kind words that wouldn’t come.

  “That’s wonderful,” Colleen chimed in, saving him from any immediate requirement.

  He could feel Maggie’s eyes on him, trying to determine what he might be thinking. He looked at her, and she smiled knowingly, reaching across the table for his hand and holding it in her own.

  “That is wonderful news, isn’t it, Tio?” she said, urging him along.

  “Yes. It is good, Cassi. I hope you will find the happiness you’ve always looked for,” he said. It was the best he could manage in his current frame of mind.

  “I was only happy once,” she replied to Tio, adding, “well, twice. I wish it could have lasted a lifetime, but it wasn’t mean to be, I suppose. Life goes on, and things change. This is a convenience. I can’t elaborate beyond that, but sometimes you have to settle for things the way they are, rather than how you would like them to be. That makes sense to you, doesn’t it, Tio?”

  He raised his eyes toward her, looking at her curiously. It was in moments like this that he once again found himself wondering if she didn’t know the truth, if she had somehow figured it out over the years without him saying the words, but there was no way to be sure, and he was well beyond the point of trying to open any old wounds for anyone.

  “Yes, Cassi. I do understand that,” he said simply.

  She nodded and stood back up, walking quietly away from the table. Tio choked back the feelings that lingered. It was hard to see her move on, no matter what the reasons. She had belonged to his father and, all these years later, she had belonged to him for a while in a way. Another man might tear them apart, and the thought of that happening broke his heart, for both himself and Radala.

  “Are you okay?” Maggie asked him later as they made their way home.

  “I will have to be,” he replied quietly.

  “That is not really an answer now is it, Tio?”

  “I suppose it is not, but it is the best I can do right now. I am trying to be okay with it, but it hurts in a way that I can’t quite explain.”

  “I know it does. I understand, but you can’t be selfish, Tio. She needs to live her life now. Hasn’t she been alone long enough? Hasn’t she suffered long enough?”

  “Do you think she has? Do you think he meant anything to her? Do you think I would mean anything to her if I were still a lost child somewhere far away, out of her reach?”

  “Oh, Tio. Have you not heard her speak of her lost love? Did you not hear her just now? Did you not hear the pain in her voice when she came to us and felt she needed to go find her son?”

  “But she didn’t go, Maggie. She let him go again; she let me go again.”

  “Didn’t you encourage her to do that, Tio? Perhaps you didn’t tell her directly, but didn’t you make her feel she shouldn’t?”

  “I don’t think–” he started to say, but she cut him off.

  “You knew what she would find there. You knew how much it would hurt her to know that he was gone, that he had died missing her. You gave up what you wanted to protect her, so you can’t blame her for listening to you, my love.”

  Tio pursed his lips and looked at her forlornly. Of course, she was right. She was always right. He nodded toward her, his silent agreement that she was correct in what she was saying. Leaning over toward him, she leaned in to kiss him, drawing the ire of young Radala who scowled.

  “No! My dragon mother!” he told him, catching Tio completely off guard.

  “You have a dragon mother?” he asked him playfully.

  “Yes. Everyone has a dragon mother,” Radala insisted.

  “Are you sure about that?” Tio asked.

  “Yes,” Radala insisted.

  Tio laughed as Maggie kissed Radala, who smiled broadly, happy to have all of his mother’s affections back from his father, at least as far as his four-year-old mind could comprehend.

  “Did you teach him to call you that?” Tio asked her.

  “No, I certainly didn’t,” she shrugged.

  Tio shook his head, chuckling at how some things in life seemed just to come so naturally whether you expected them or not. Now, both he and his son had a dragon mother, but one day soon, he would have to explain to young Radala that not everyone had a dragon mother, and when he was old enough, he would have to explain to him that a few people had tiger fathers.

  Until then, he was content to let his son believe that there was no one in the world but dragons. There would be plenty time later on for him to learn the unfortunate nature of the world and what he must do to protect his place in it. It still saddened Tio that he had put this burden upon his son, but he couldn’t imagine life without him. Given the opportunity to do it all over again, he would have not changed a single thing.

  Chapter 20

  Years unfolded, sometimes seeming to crawl by at a pace that was almost at a standstill. Before they knew it, Radala was becoming a young man. Unlike his father, he had found his love, Angelica, when he was still just a boy and had no idea what he truly was. Tio had tried to discourage it, but the young pair were hopelessly smitten with one another from the time they were old enough to charge through the meadows together.

  Shortly before Radala’s sixteenth birthday, when he would begin to shift, Tio and Maggie had sat the teen down to talk with him about what was to come. It had not gone as well as Tio remembered it going for him, but then, he had been more secluded from people, who could affect his life as a tiger shifter.

  “What are you talking about? This is crazy,” Radala had yelled at them, jumping up from the table.

  “Sit down and listen to me,” Tio roared at him.

  “It’s not possible. I live in a village full of dragons, just like the villages nearby.”

  “That much is true, but it doesn’t mean you are a dragon,” Tio told him.

  “I don’t want to be a tiger. I don’t want to be different. What am I going to tell Angelica?”

  “You cannot tell Angelica. At least, not yet. She cannot know about this unless you are sure she can keep it to herself – not just today or tomorrow, but always.”

  “Angelica would never betray my confidence.”

  “I’m telling you, son, that you have to be sure. It’s not just you at stake, but it is also me and your mother, as well as others.”

  “What others?” Radala demanded.

  “That is something that will have to wait,” Tio told him.

  “More secrets, father? Where does all of this nonsense end?”

  Before Tio could respond, Radala was up and out the door, disappearing into the night. Tio was up and on his way out the door to follow him, but Maggie stopped him.

  “No, Tio. Let him go. It’s a hard thing for a young boy to accept. Just let him get some fresh air, and let it sink in for a while. He’ll be back to ask questions to things that he needs to know when he has calmed down.”

  “I don’t like him being out there alone in the darkness, upset and not thinking straight.”

  “You weren’t much older than him when you trekked hundreds of miles from the south end of this island just to find your mother, Tio.”

  “I was better e
quipped. I was already shifting.”

  “You said yourself that you shifted early. Your father told you that even he didn’t shift until he was sixteen, but you were running with him much earlier than that, even as a young boy from what you’ve told me.”

  “Yes. I don’t know why that was. I had thought it was the mixture of dragon and tiger blood, but Radala hasn’t shift in all these years, I figure he is more like my father. He could begin any day now, and he needs to be prepared for it.”

  “He will be, but tonight, he just needs to get some fresh hair and come to terms with what has happened to him. Can you understand that?”

  Tio sighed and sat back down beside her, reaching for her hand and stroking it to calm himself down. She always made him feel better. She was his voice of reason, his safety in a storm. Without her by his side these past few years, he wasn’t sure what he would have done. His one regret was that he had never been able to give her another child. The damage done when Radala was born had apparently rendered her barren.

  “I wish I had been a better husband to you. I wish I could have given you more children like you had wanted,” he confided.

  “You gave me one, and he is all we need. Besides, haven’t we had a lot of fun all this time at least trying to have other children?” she said with a smile.

  “That we have,” he replied. “That we have, and I suppose we do have our hands full at the moment with the one child we do have.”

  “You can say that again. Are all tigers this stubborn? I only know two, but they are both as stubborn as it gets!”

  “Hey now, woman!” Tio teased.

  “At least I got you to smile,” she laughed, touching his arm softly.

  “I’ve been smiling since the day I met you,” he told her, pulling her into a kiss.

  A loud slam of the door behind them caught them off guard. Whirling around, they found themselves face to face with Radala, looking at them with a disgusted look.

  “I leave for five minutes and you two are trying to replace me with a newer model?” he groaned.

  “You, my son, are not replaceable. Now, if you could just go back out for a while…” his father teased, trying to add a bit of levity to the situation.