Damaged and the Outlaw

by Bijou Hunter

  “Unfuckingbelievable,” Judd said, walking to me. “How’s Tawny?”

  “Good. She’s armed and ready to kill. I’d say it was sexy, but I don’t want you punching me.”

  Judd nearly glared at me then remembered why I was back. “The assholes are holed up in a cabin in the woods.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Harlow told us.”

  “What?”

  “She and Winona got free. Killed one of them too. They got to the road and flagged down a car. Now, we have a lead on the fuckers.”

  “Where are the girls now?”

  “Club doc is checking them out. Bruised up, but nothing broken. Harlow described where the cabin was so we’re arming up and hitting it. Those guys won’t have time to get far. We’ll finish this today.”

  While checking the weapons Judd set out on the table, my mind wondered about Harlow and what the bastards did to her. Even if she wasn’t my responsibility anymore, I still thought of her that way.

  I walked into the room where a doctor was checking the girls. Harlow sported a black eye and an ugly welt across her forehead, but she seemed otherwise unharmed. Hiding behind long dark hair, her sister was shaking wildly and I saw bruises up and down her thin arms. I hated to imagine what those bastards might do to two pretty teenage girls. Even if I didn’t think Caleb was the rapist type, it’d been years since we were friends and people change.

  His anger clear, Cooper walked to me. “You and Judd take the lead. I’m not going to pretend like I’m as good with a gun as you two. Just don’t go off halfcocked. This shit is about more than you and your old club. My family and people are threatened too. Don’t fuck this up because your ego gets loose.”

  “Understood, boss.”

  “You look pissed about the girls,” Cooper said, leaning closer. “I get that. Go out and get some air and calm down. That way, you can be steely when we go hunting.”

  Obeying my president, I headed outside to calm my rage. Those bruises on Harlow were done by guys I once considered friends. Hell, Caleb was like a brother to me. I thought he had some kind of honor, but he drew blood on the flesh of innocent women. Now, I wanted blood too.

  Walking into the hot night, I felt someone following. My gut said it was Harlow. I turned to her and sighed.

  “Go back inside.”

  “I forgive you,” she said, looking as young as when I found her years ago.

  “For what?”

  “For whatever you think you did wrong,” she said, stepping closer. “You always have this guilty look on your face when you see me. I don’t understand why. I want you to know if you think you did something wrong to me that I forgive you.”

  “Thanks, but go inside.”

  “Why?”

  “You need to stay safe while I need to do my job and finish this shit.”

  “Do you regret saving me?” she asked, crossing her arms as if cold. “Is that why you feel guilty?”

  Studying her young battered face, I realized there was no avoiding this conversation any longer.

  “Yeah, sometimes,” I admitted, feeling like an asshole saying it out loud. “I think about how different my life would have been if I hadn’t done what I did that night. It does make me feel guilty to consider how I might be happier if you were dead.”

  “You gave up a lot to help me.”

  “No, not really,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “That’s the thing. I missed my old life because it was what I knew. The new one is unknown. I didn’t leave anything worth holding onto though.”

  Harlow took my hand. “I heard about your mom. I remember you calling her when we got to the first hotel. You sounded scared and I could tell you were worried you wouldn’t see her again. You did lose a lot helping me.”

  “You got things wrong, kid. You’ve got this idealistic view of what happened that night. I wasn’t your white knight. I killed those fuckers because I was pissed. I’d hated them for a while, but that night was the last straw. You need to stop viewing me as a great guy.”

  “You were an avenging angel,” she said, ignoring my anger. “You could have looked the other way and did your job. I know that better now. I didn’t realize how much you gave up back then. I know now and I’m sorry you never saw your mom again. You didn’t deserve to be punished for helping me and hurting bad men. You deserved a reward, but you were exiled and hunted instead.”

  “You’re putting me up as a hero and I’m not.”

  Harlow stared at me with her tired eyes. “You saved my life. Not only that day, but by bringing me here. You gave me a chance to have a new family and grow up. You can say you’re not a hero. Hell, you can say anything you want, but you are my hero.”

  Sighing, I gave her a grudging smile. “You killed a guy?”

  “Some people need dying,” Harlow said, letting go of my hand. “You know that and I know it too. It was either Winona and me or that man. It wasn’t a hard choice. The first time I hit him with the tree branch was the hardest part. Once I hit him, it got easier. My anger made it easier and I just kept hitting him. Winona had a rock…”

  Harlow’s gaze unfocused, she remembered taking a life.

  “It’s weird really. How one second the guy was strong and in charge. He was a threat and we were the victims. Then, he was weak and begging. He laughed when we begged, but I didn’t laugh when he begged. I just kept hitting him until he shut up. Winona did too. We weren’t going to be his victims.”

  Shaking off the memory, she sighed. “I was angry today like you were that night. Being pissed off doesn’t make what we did wrong. My anger gave me the fire to get the job done. I think your anger back in Tucson gave you the fire to kill men you were expected to protect. You went against your training and did what your heart said was right. That takes balls, Vaughn. I’m proud of you.”

  I chuckled. “You sound like a mom talking down to her kid.”

  “You didn’t grow up enough,” Harlow said, giving me a little smirk. “I think you stopped growing in your head at some point and still need to find your way.” Harlow kicked at the ground then gave me a big smile. “I heard you’re getting married. Guess you can’t really be an outlaw anymore then. Can’t be on the outside when you belong to something. Maybe you’re finally growing up.”

  “Look at you, Little Miss Know-it-all.”

  “I wonder about you a lot,” she said, glancing at the approaching Harleys. “I make myself think about that night. I try to face it because it’s my weakness. I want to be stronger than my mother who couldn’t face her weaknesses. I want to be powerful, but that night makes me scared again. I force myself though and I remember how you were. I wish you could see you the way I do, but I guess life isn’t like that.”

  Seeing Harlow so confident, I felt a sort of fatherly pride in her. “No, it’s not, darling. I’m glad you killed that bastard, but I wish it hadn’t happened. I wish those ugly times were long ago.”

  “Our past doesn’t want to let us go. You’ll finish it though. I know you will because you’re not one of the Devils anymore. You need to end that part of you and be a new man. You can finally stop being an outsider or an outlaw. It’s important to belong.”

  “It is. Are you okay?” I asked, running my finger over the gash on her head. “Did those bastards hurt you?”

  “I was scared when they first came,” she said, fighting the fear in her voice. “I saw them shoot Dylan in the chest and thought they killed him. Then, they shot at Tad. When they grabbed us, I felt like I was a little kid getting tossed around. Like I wasn’t real and only existed to do what others wanted. When I made myself stop thinking like that, I stopped being scared. I know people say no one really changes, but I don’t believe that. I know I’ve changed. You can too. Be happy with your woman and have a family. I bet you’d be good with kids. You were really sweet to me when we traveled. I was really scared of you, but you were patient.”

  As much as the answer might tear me apart, I had to ask. “Did Caleb
hurt you like Playboy did?”

  Harlow shrunk away a little when I said Playboy’s name. “No, not Caleb. The guy we killed tried. His eye was messed up and he thought we owed him for that. Well, not really with me. I was necessary to keep around. He saw Winona as the spare girl, I guess. They were rougher with her and that guy wanted to use her.”

  When Harlow paused, her fear shifted into a dark anger. “I saw this look on Winona’s face like she was back in the ugly time of her life. She wasn’t my Winona from the Todds. She was someone’s whore and that pissed me off. We’ve worked hard not to live in the ugly past and that bastard wanted to take it away. I got angry and my anger made me strong.” Harlow wiped a single tear from her cheek. “Caleb didn’t try to rape us, but he let his guy go after Winona. I know he was your friend, but he’s not you.”

  Touching her chin, I lifted her gaze to mine. “I’m going to kill those fuckers and we’ll both be free.”

  “I believe in you. I always did. I was scared, but not really of you. I don’t know how I knew, but I did and I was right. You’re a good man who does an ugly job. You’ll fix this.”

  Studying her, I felt the old wounds open up a little more. “I wish I had gotten there earlier and saved your mom and brother and sister. I feel guilty about that too.”

  Tears filling her eyes, Harlow nodded. “I think about how I might have saved them. When I was with Playboy, I always thought about running away, but I couldn’t go to the cops. The Devils would have killed me for snitching on one of their guys. If I stayed on the street, I would get pimped out. I just figured it was easier to stay with Playboy and his old lady. The hell you know thing. If I had run off though, my mom might have been okay. If my mom hadn’t freaked out and threatened Playboy, she might have gotten us all out. We all could have done things different, but we weren’t the ones who decided to take their lives that night. It wasn’t my mom or Stacia crying too much or me not running off or you getting there too late. It was Playboy and his sick friends. They were evil and you stopped them from hurting anyone else. You avenged my family and you shouldn’t feel guilty.”

  “Fuck, darling. You sure know to pep talk a guy.”

  “I’ve been wanting to say this for a long time. All my babble had been sitting in my head waiting.”

  Cupping her face, I stared into her fair eyes and swore, “Once I end Caleb and his friends, we’ll be free.”

  “I know. I’m glad you know too. Sometimes, you seem insecure.”

  Laughing, I hugged her to me. “Smartass.”

  Harlow wished me good luck then hurried back inside to check on Winona. I promised myself what I’d promised her. Today, the evil from Tucson would end. Harlow and I would finally be free.

  Chapter Twenty Seven – Raven

  With Lark curled up in a spare room, I waited with the other chicks in the family room. Vaughn, Judd, Cooper, Tucker, Kirk, and the club were headed into the woods to hunt armed men. I should have trusted they would be okay. On some level, I did trust it. Another part was me worried I’d jinxed Vaughn after all.

  Cuddled with Farah, Tawny kept a gun on her lap and a dark stare on the door. She looked so much like Judd that I nearly laughed. A little jealous of her cool, I needed that strength too.

  Bailey braided Sawyer’s hair while Jodi braided her oldest daughter’s. It was the Johansson women relaxation exercise apparently. I watched them and waited for news.

  Just after four, the phone rang and Jodi answered immediately. She said very little before hanging up.

  “Killed the fuckers. One of them turned coward and left town. Some guys are chasing him down. Our men are safe.”

  Everyone smiled and laughed and acted like they weren’t worried at all. A crying Farah waved off concerns and claimed it was all hormones. Until the guys walked through the door, we would worry.

  Vaughn even texted me to say he was heading home and I should be ready to soothe his anger with lots of vigorous sex. Technically, he wrote, “Man angry, want caveman sex.” I got the message.

  After checking on Lark, I took a gun and walked to the apartment to prepare for Vaughn’s caveman needs. Just the thought of him doing his grunt talking made me laugh. He was finally free of the threats from the Devils and no longer an outlaw. Entering the apartment, I imagined ways to celebrate this fact. Caveman sex was just the beginning.

  “You’re the secretary,” a voice said from behind me. Before I spun around, I felt the gun against my temple. “Don’t pull your gun or I’ll pull my trigger. Do you want your pretty face splashed on the walls?”

  Struggling against the urge to fight back, I relaxed my body. I didn’t even flinch when he pulled my gun from my pocket.

  “The secretary wants to live. That’s good. Now, sit on the couch and we’ll wait for Vaughn.”

  Giving him no reason to feel threatened, I moved slowly to the couch and sat down. When my back was to him, I slid my engagement ring from my finger and shoved it into my pocket. Once on the couch, I sized up the asshole. He was tall and tatted. With a shaved head and mean eyes, I sensed he would kill me without blinking.

  “You’re Caleb?”

  He gave me a cold smile. “Did Vaughn wax poetic about how we’d bowl and bang chicks? You know, the good old days.”

  “He just said you were friends and now you aren’t.”

  “Did you tell him what I said on the phone that day when his mom croaked?”

  I remember how Caleb said Michelle begged to see her son at the end. Even if this was true, I would never tell Vaughn. He suffered enough without knowing she asked for him. I planned to take Caleb’s words to my grave.

  He smirked when I shook my head. “Protecting the pretty fucker. Well, I don’t think you’ll protect him today.”

  “It’s not too late to just leave.”

  Caleb ignored my comment and glanced at the door. “You people are so arrogant. Don’t even lock your damn doors,” he grunted, giving me dark glare. “You think you’re so safe here because the Reapers are tied to Memphis. Fucking Kirk always thought he was so special.”

  “If you leave now, you can get away. Go back to Tucson. Help your club.”

  “My club?” he sneered. “Your fucking prince got my uncle and dad killed. The Reapers laid waste to my club. Now, the fuckers in Tucson are feasting on the leftovers. There’s no club left, bitch.”

  “You could still run. I have money.”

  “I don’t want to run. I want to kill Vaughn. I want to watch him die and you’re going to help me by sitting here like a good little secretary. If you start shit, the last thing Vaughn will see before I blow his fucking head off is his woman splattered on the ground.”

  “I don’t want to die,” I mumbled, trying to seem weak to a man who wouldn’t have been intimidated if I acted strong. “I don’t want Vaughn to die.”

  “Too late for that,” he said, glancing out the shades while keeping his gun pointed at me. “You’re a hot bitch. No doubt you’ll have a new dick inside you quick enough.”

  We remained silent while I imagined going for his gun. In my head, I already saw my love dead. Vaughn would die with his eyes open then Caleb would kill me next. I saw in his eyes how he didn’t care if he lived. Caleb would take us all out with him. Might even walk into the Johansson house where my sister rested. How many people might he kill before someone put his sick ass down?

  Building my courage, I waited until the last possible moment to make my move. A part of me was certain I would die. My mind imagined him firing the gun. There’d be no fixing the hole in my head, but the shot would alert the others. One death was better than two or a dozen.

  Whether God was real or not, I remembered what Vaughn said about faith. Believing my prayers would be answered, I prayed for God to protect the ones I loved. If I also managed not to die, that would be great too.

  The sound of Harleys was the starter pistol my courage needed. His excitement and fear written on his face, Caleb turned his attention to the window and his appr
oaching target. He didn’t even see me anymore. It was all about Vaughn.

  The next few seconds were a blur. Overwhelmed with fear and desperation, I wasn’t even thinking. I simply reacted to the sound of the Harleys by jumping up and running for Caleb. He turned as I lunged at him. As we landed against the wall, I reached for the window. I hoped to make enough of a noise to warn the arriving men. Instead, I felt the sharp blow of his elbow against my jaw.

  Seeing stars, I hurled my body against his and grabbed for the gun. For the slightest second, I had the momentum. As the gun loosened in his grip, I thought I might actually stop him. I could win. Caleb would die and everyone would be safe and…

  When Caleb headbutted me, the pain nearly caused me to pass out. Stumbling back while holding my bloody nose, I looked at him for only a second before realizing it was over. Caleb was going to kill me now.

  With no other way to warn the other before I died, I screamed as loudly as I could. My cry lasted until Caleb’s fist hit me hard enough to knock my head back. Finally, my balance gave out and I tumbled flat on my back. Anger overwhelming his revenge plan, Caleb straddled me then threw one punch after another.

  Every time I tried to block him, he held my arm away. Caleb even laughed at my attempts to protect myself. Laughter full of hate, he sounded like a monster.

  After the first three punches, I couldn’t see through the blood and pain. I couldn’t think either. I was suddenly a little girl again hiding from the monsters my mom brought home. Terrified of those evil men, I would hide with Lark and Phoenix in the closet and tell them stories. This time, I told myself my hero would save me. Even when the monster stood up and began kicking and stomping on me, I imagined I would be okay because my knight was coming.

  Chapter Twenty Eight – Vaughn

  The first guy I killed was a murderer himself. Taking his life meant shit, but it still bothered me afterwards. By the time I killed Playboy, I knew what kind of man I was and never made excuses. The thing keeping me from becoming a complete monster was my unwillingness to murder Harlow. Otherwise, I’d never shown any hesitation.