Red, White and Blue Weddings: Red Like Crimson, White as Snow, Out of the Blue
Page 6
“I have to get Chris back to the hotel.”
“Oh! We’re driving you?” Lorelei turned to look his way.
“Looks like it,” he said, not even trying to hide the smile.
“You sit up front with my mom,” the youngster instructed. “I’ll sit in the back.”
You little matchmaker, you.
“That’s up to your mama.”
Chris looked at Adrianne, and for the first time saw her through new eyes. She was more than a creative soul, a hard worker, a museum curator. She was. . .a mother. The mother of his child. And she had done a remarkable job of raising this little girl, even without his help.
He swallowed back the pain at the thought of those last few words. He would make up for the lack of help now, if it was the last thing he did.
“Son, it was good to see you.” Another bear hug from Adrianne’s father felt awfully good, especially in light of the fact that Chris had lost his own father just a few years ago. He pondered that fact for a moment.
I’ve been without a father. My daughter has been without a father.
A shiver ran through him as he embraced Adrianne’s dad one more time. “I’m so glad to be here.” He wanted to say more, but feared he would give away too much in front of Lorelei.
After a hug from Adrianne’s mother, they were on their way. True to her word, Lorelei climbed into the back seat, allowing him the front, though he suddenly felt awkward next to Adrianne. Everything had changed over the past hour. Everything.
As Adrianne drove, Lorelei chattered merrily from behind. Chris didn’t mind. In fact, the more she talked, the less he needed to, which served his purposes just fine, at least for now. When they arrived at the hotel, he turned to face Adrianne, wanting to say so many things, but unable to speak a word beyond the obvious “Good night.”
She gave him an imploring look and reached for his hand. He took it, though mixed feelings still threatened to consume him.
As he climbed out of the car, Lorelei waved from the backseat.
“G’night, Chris! See you soon!” she said with a giggle.
“Yes. See you soon.” But would he? In just a few days he would leave Philadelphia, headed back to the mission field. . .away from the woman—and the child—he loved.
The car pulled away, and Chris’s heart immediately plummeted. Somehow, in one night, he had gained—and lost— almost everything.
NINE
Adrianne pulled away from the hotel, but a piece of her heart remained behind—with Chris. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him like this, with no clear resolution. No plan. And yet, what choice did she have? They couldn’t exactly talk things through in front of Lorelei.
Lorelei.
She looked over at her daughter, praying she would fall asleep. Nope. No such luck. Instead, the youngster seemed to have come alive in Chris’s presence.
She was drawn to him. But then she would be. Wouldn’t she?
“I like Chris a lot, Mom.” Her daughter gave a little giggle, then leaned back against the seat with a deep sigh. “Don’t you?”
“Yes, honey, I do. He’s a really nice man.” Adrianne kept her eyes focused on the road, but her mind wandered all over the place.
“And he’s handsome, too!” At this, Lorelei’s spurts of laughter grew more animated. “Like the prince in Cinderella.”
“Oh, and I suppose he has a glass slipper just my size.” Adrianne chuckled at the thought of it.
“Maybe.” Lorelei grew silent for a moment, then spoke quite seriously. “You’re always losing your shoes, anyway. You need a prince.”
Adrianne groaned. “Puh-leeze. You’ve been watching too many movies. It doesn’t really happen like that. Not in the real world.”
“Grandma says it does.”
“Good grief.” How can I argue with that?
Another sigh escaped Lorelei’s lips. “And he likes you, Mom. I can tell.”
“Oh?” Adrianne caught her breath, lest she say too much. “Now, how can you tell a thing like that?”
“He said so. Besides, he looks at you a lot,” Lorelei explained. “And his eyes are smiling.”
“Oh, his eyes are smiling, are they?”
“Mm-hmm. When will we see him again? Can he come over for dinner tomorrow night?”
“He’s in a wedding tomorrow,” Adrianne explained.
“He’s getting married?” The disappointment in the youngster’s voice was keen. “No way.”
“His friend is getting married.”
“Ooh. Okay.” Lorelei’s voice took on a dreamy quality. “Maybe he can come over the next night?”
Adrianne pulled the car into the entrance of their apartment complex and fumbled for her remote control to open the gate. “Maybe. We’ll see.”
“Promise you’ll ask.”
“I promise.” Adrianne couldn’t help but smile at her daughter’s persistence.
Just as quickly, the somber reality resurfaced, taking the place of the joy. She and Chris needed to talk—and soon. Yes, his reaction had been better than expected. He hadn’t blown up at the news, though she’d worried over it for eight years. His reaction had been. . .reasonable. That was the word. At least he hadn’t turned and run in the opposite direction. Yet.
As they walked toward their apartment door, Lorelei let out an exaggerated yawn.
Adrianne reached over to pat her on the head. “Sleepy?”
“No.”
Yes you are, you little goof. Just too stubborn to admit it.
“What are we going to do tomorrow?” Lorelei asked.
“Well. . .” Adrianne thought for a moment. “The leaves are changing. Why don’t we go to the park and take some pictures? I’ll use my new digital camera.”
“Okay.” Another yawn slipped out.
They entered the apartment, and Lorelei dressed for bed.
“Is there any particular reason you chose the Cinderella nightgown?” Adrienne asked. Lorelei just giggled. Adrianne couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. I get your message. But enough with playing around, okay?”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Brush your teeth, and then we’ll say our prayers.”
The youngster headed off into the bathroom. Less than a minute later, however, she emerged with toothbrush in hand, her eyes twinkling. “What’s Chris’s last name, Mom?” she asked, a look of innocence in her eyes.
“Bradley.”
“Adrianne Bradley.” The youngster giggled. “I like it.” Almost immediately, however, her expression changed. “But I’ll still be Russo?”
Yikes. How in the world do I respond to that? Adrianne put on her most serious face. “You’ve got me married off already?” she asked, hoping to shift gears. “Don’t you think it’s a little early for that?”
Lorelei shrugged. “I dunno.” She went back into the bathroom for a couple of minutes, then emerged again, this time with toothpaste smeared all over her lips. “Still, if you got married, he could adopt me. Right?”
“Could we talk about this tomorrow?” Adrianne didn’t even try to stop the groan that escaped from the back of her throat. “I’ve got a terrible headache.” In all honestly, her head did hurt. And if anyone deserved a few moments of peace and quiet, she did. Especially in light of all she’d been through this evening.
Lorelei gazed up with an imploring look. “Can I sleep with you tonight, Mom?”
Oh, not tonight. Tonight I need to be alone, to think, to pray. . .
“I promise not to steal the covers.” Lorelei’s sheepish giggle did little to sway her.
“I really do have a headache,” Adrianne explained. “So I think it’s best if you. . .”
The look of sadness that swept over her daughter’s face did the trick.
“Oh, okay. But just tonight. I don’t want you to get in the habit.”
“Thank you, thank you!” Lorelei jumped up and down, and Adrianne immediately put her finger over her lips to shush the youngster, lest Mr. Sanderson take to
pounding on the wall again.
“Promise you’ll go to sleep right away?”
“I promise.” She gave a little twirl and the Cinderella nightie caught Adrianne’s eye one last time. Perhaps there would be a “happily ever after” in both their lives. If only. . .
Hmm. There were too many if-only possibilities to ponder right now. Instead, she tucked her daughter in for the night and they prayed together. Then, after just a few minutes, Lorelei’s words grew slower, quieter. Finally, her breaths came in long, steady succession, and Adrianne knew she’d fallen asleep.
At this point, Adrianne quietly dressed for bed and slid under the covers alongside her daughter. As she leaned back against the pillows, the tears threatened to come again. She tried to push them back, but finally relinquished. It might do her good to cry, all things considered.
Still, she must do it silently. And with as little movement as possible. Not an easy task.
After a few moments, she dried her eyes and tried to rest.
Her mind would not be silenced. So many questions to be answered. . .
Will Chris forgive me? Will he want to get to know his daughter? She took her hand and gently ran it across Lorelei’s back.
The youngster stirred, then settled back down again. How will I tell her? How will we tell her? This was not the first time she’d worried about Lorelei’s reaction to the news. Adrianne had played out multiple scenarios in her mind over the years. Still, she couldn’t come to grips with how—or when—to tell her. Up until now, Lorelei had asked very little about her father, only once or twice questioning his existence. Adrianne had managed to get by with a limited explanation of his work in another country.
But now. . .
She was going to put it together. Lorelei was a smart little girl. And she’d seen his photograph. It was only a matter of time before she. . .
Adrienne’s prayer came in rushed whispers, more mouthed than spoken aloud: “Lord, I’ve made such a mess of everything. I’ve asked Chris to forgive me. I know one day Lorelei will have to learn to forgive me, too. But tonight, Father, I ask for Your forgiveness. Forgive me for not doing the right thing in the first place. Forgive me for keeping Lorelei from her father. I should have told him right away. Then she would have known him. I’ve taken that from her.”
A familiar wave of guilt washed over her as she pondered her sins of the past. “Though they are red like crimson. . .”
She reached over to turn on the tiny bedside light, then reached for her Bible. She opened to the book of 1 John, chapter two. When she glanced down at the words, amazed at their appropriateness, she knew she must have been guided to this scripture by the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
“ ‘My little children,’ ” she whispered, “ ‘these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.’”
She read the words over again, letting them sink into her spirit. “ ‘My little children. . .’ ”
The Lord was calling her His child. And tonight, with her past so clearly staring her in the face, she felt a bit like a child, caught in her own actions.
And yet. . .
The Lord had already done a work in her life, had already dealt with so much. Hadn’t He?
She checked her heart to see if there was something left undone, some small area she hadn’t given over completely to Him.
“Oh Lord,” she prayed in a near-silent whisper, “I’ve been afraid to give you my lingering guilt over not reaching Chris with the news. I could have done more, Lord. I should have tried harder.”
She looked at the words once again, allowing them to minister to her. “Thank You, Father, for sending Your Son, Jesus as an atonement for my sins. Thank You for washing me white as snow. And thank You for this precious child of mine.” She reached out once more to run her hand across Lorelei’s back, and felt a wave of emotion run through her. “Thank You for the blessing she has been to me, and thank You that her future is blessed. Keep her in the palm of Your hand, Father.”
Immediately, she felt the Lord’s presence as He wrapped His arms around her. She sensed His forgiveness and His peace. Right away, a new burst of energy sent her prayer sailing forward.
“Lord, I know Your Word says You make all things new. That’s what I’m asking for tonight. Make things new. Give us a fresh start. Give Chris a desire for his daughter. Give me a. . .” She wasn’t sure what to pray next. A second chance with the man she loved? Did she deserve such a thing? Did she even want such a thing? A muffled ring drew her attention from the other room.
Her cell phone? Who would be calling this late? She tiptoed down the hallway into the living room, where she fetched her phone from her purse. An unfamiliar number lit the screen. She answered hesitantly. “Hello?”
“Hey.” Chris’s voice greeted her.
At once, her heart flew to her throat.
“I had to talk to you,” he said.
“I’m so glad you called,” she confessed. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me neither.”
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Adrianne finally broke the silence. “I was just praying.”
“Me, too.”
More silence.
“I, um. . .” She fought to get the words out. “Chris, I’m so sorry about everything. I don’t know if I can ever tell you how sorry I am. You don’t know how much I wish I could just go back eight years and do all of this over. I’d change so many things. I promise I would.”
“Me, too. This is really all my fault. I’m the one who, who. . .” His voice trailed off.
Adrianne came up with a plan and voiced it right away. “Let’s make a deal. No looking back.”
He paused a moment before offering up a hesitant “Okay.”
“It won’t do any good, anyway. And besides, we have to think about where we are. Right now.”
There was an undeniable weariness to his voice as he responded. “I’ve been thinking about it. All night. Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping.”
“You have to. You’re in a wedding tomorrow.”
“Oh, the wedding.” He changed gears. “You’re coming, right? I really want you to.”
“But they hardly know me.”
“They know me,” he explained. “And that’s enough. Besides, Julie sounded pretty insistent.”
“I don’t know, Chris. I just don’t think I could handle it right now. And besides, I’ve got Lorelei.”
“Bring her. Julie said you could bring a guest, right?”
“Chris.”
“Seriously.” His voice intensified. “Bring her. I know that Stephen and Julie would love it. The wedding is going to be at Christ Church at two o’clock. Do you know where that is?”
“Do I know where that is?” She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m addicted to historic Philly, Chris, you know that. And it just so happens that Ben Franklin attended Christ Church. So did Betsy Ross. And a host of other famous Americans.”
“Well then. . .” She could hear the weight lift from his voice as he carried on. “I’m sure they would want you to spend your Saturday afternoon at the place where they were inspired with some of the ideas that made this country what it is today. And besides”—his voice faded a bit—“this famous American wants you there. Please?”
A sigh rose up from the back of her throat. How could she resist an invitation like that? “Christ Church at two. I’ll think about it.”
He whispered a soft “Okay,” followed by, “Good night,” and then ended the call.
Adrianne clicked the phone shut and made her way back down the darkened hallway into the bedroom. As she slipped beneath the covers, Lorelei rolled over, eyes wide open. Her words very nearly knocked Adrianne clean out of the bed.
“See, Mom,” the youngster said with a giggle, “I told you he liked you.”
&nbs
p; ❧
“Are you okay, Chris?” Stephen’s voice shattered the darkness as Chris entered the hotel room, cell phone in hand.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you. I got back to the hotel a long time ago, but was restless, so I went for a walk.”
“In the middle of the night?” Stephen flipped on the lamp and sat up in bed.
“Yeah. Then I sat in the lobby long enough to work up the courage to call Adrianne.”
Stephen shook his head. “I’ve been worried about you. When you didn’t come back, I didn’t know what to think.”
“Ah. Well, I didn’t mean to worry you, especially not tonight. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
Stephen gave him a pensive look. “Big day or not, I’ve got plenty of time to talk if you need to. And I’m pretty sure you need to. It’s written all over your face.”
“Oh?” Chris sat on the edge of his bed and looked across the room at his friend. “You think you know me pretty well, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Hmm.” He wondered what Stephen would say if he told him everything he’d learned tonight. Might be pretty eye-opening.
“So. . .”
Chris just shook his head and didn’t respond. “If I get started now, it’s going to be a long night.” He glanced at the clock. 2:16. Yikes. “It’s already been a long night.”
“I don’t care how long it takes.” Stephen crossed his arms and turned to face him. “So you might as well dive in.”
“Right.” Just a moment or two of silence was all it took. Then, like a flood, the story poured out. Chris felt a huge sense of relief as he told Stephen the details—right down to the most important one. To his credit, Stephen didn’t respond, not vocally anyway. His wide-eyed expression at the news of Lorelei spoke volumes, though. As he wrapped up the story, Chris opened himself up to his best friend’s counsel. He listened as Stephen shared his thoughts, his opinions. And he listened even more intently as his friend—now more serious than he’d ever known him to be—took the time to pray. Aloud. At length. Chris reveled in the fact that the Lord had sent him someone to share this burden.