by Kira Saito
POSSESSED
AN ARELIA LARUE
NOVEL #3
Copy Right Kira Saito
Smashwords Edition
Utterly abandon
Yourself to the
Moment-and you will
Find every day new
Openings, new light,
New insight. And
Those new insights
Will go on changing
You
-Osho
Chapter 1
Anger is All I Have Left
“Oh queen. You break what’s left of my heart with your naivety.” Ivan gave me a smirk as he placed his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.
My body was limp in his powerful embrace. He brought his lips to my ear. “You really think you’re strong enough to take me on? I’ve been around a long time, baby. I’ve seen things that you can’t even begin to imagine.”
“You sound like such a cliché,” I said, as I dug my nails into him and tried to wiggle out of his arms. I had no idea if I had successfully sucked out all his powers. At this point, all I wanted to do was get far away from him as possible. Maybe my plan had been a little rash. I should have asked more questions when Gran-Ibo gave me the Dark Arts Oil.
He let out a dry laugh, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he placed a finger over my lips and wiped off some of the Dark Arts Oil. He placed his finger into his mouth and tasted the oil. “I’m the cliché? You’re the one using Dark Arts Oil and…” He sniffed my neck and gave it a little lick. “Come To Me Oil. Amateur moves, queen. I expected something more dramatic from you. Perhaps a voodoo doll? Or a creating a zombie to attack me? Yes. In case you didn’t know, we are capable of creating zombies. You should have hit me with anything but the typical oils. How boring. I guess I over-estimated you after all.”
There were a thousand things I probably could have done at that exact second. I could have called on Sousson Pannan or Erzulie. Instead, I relied on good old-fashioned defense mechanisms and kicked Ivan hard in the groin. He immediately released me and let out a low moan. “Never underestimate your opponent, jerk,” I said, as I made a mad dash out of the ballroom and upstairs. “And stop calling me queen. It’s pretty damn annoying!”
I remembered that I had passed red brick dust outside our bedroom door. If I made it there, I would be safe until I could figure out my next move. I was supposed to understand Ivan and help him, but he was making it awfully difficult. I knew he wasn’t crazy enough to murder me, but he was a very angry soul. From my experience, people tended to do extremely stupid things when they were angry. I was living proof of that.
I’d run halfway up the spiral staircase when I heard Ivan right behind me. I felt his hand grip around my ankle. I fell with a thud, which temporarily disoriented me.
“Easy, queen.” I felt Ivan’s arms around me as he scooped me up from the ground like a ragdoll.
Before I had a chance to say anything, he placed his hand over my mouth and carried me up the stairs. I revolted wildly against him, but he was totally unfazed by my little antics. He tossed me an arrogant grin. “I’ve been brutally beaten countless times, been forced to work under pretty crappy circumstances- without any health insurance, by the way- and survived depressing pangs of starvation. I’m pretty sure I can handle the antics of a scrawny, love-struck voodoo queen.”
Obviously, Ivan had no idea who he was up against. Or maybe he did. Faking being all powerful and brave was vastly different from actually believing it. When I had tried to suck out Ivan’s energy, I had felt myself waver. In that moment of doubt, I know I had sealed my miserable fate. And now I had to face the consequences. Damn.
Chapter 2
Different World Views
“Erzulie, I messed up, didn’t I?” I spoke to her mentally. “Please. Please. Answer me.”
“You weren’t successful, my child. Your faith wavered.”
“Great. Perfect. What should I do now?”
“You must reason with him and listen to him. Fighting with him won’t get you anywhere,” she said.
“But.”
“Not another word. Do as I say.” Erzulie’s voice was firm.
“Fine,” I grudgingly agreed.
At the top of the stairs, a silent darkness greeted us. Not a peep came from the any of the china-white doors that occupied the expansive hall. Ivan stopped in front of his room and opened it while he juggled me in his arms.
Inside, the overpowering scent of stale cigarettes and John the Conqueror root filled my nostrils. Ratty t-shirts littered the floor, and a rainbow of candles lined the tops of the heavy armoire and dresser.
“If I let you go, you’re not going to do something rash like kick me or scream, are you?” Ivan asked.
I shook my head.
“That a girl.” He roughly tossed me on the bed.
I landed with a soft thud on the pillowy mattress. “Ouch! Your history doesn’t give you the right to be an ass,” I said, as I sat up. “And how about opening a window or something, it’s really hot in here.”
“How about you stop your whining and shut up,” he said, as he sat beside me and took off his tie and loosened his shirt buttons. “Day in and day out, that’s all you and Barbie seem to do. No wonder you’re such good friends.”
I took a deep breath and ignored him. I reminded myself that I needed to have sympathy for the Devil. “What are you going to do to Ivan, huh? Are you going to murder me or put me under another spell? Whatever it is, do it already so I don’t have to spend another second in this smelly room with you. I’m not afraid of you.”
He looked at me and smirked. For a second, his hard grey eyes softened. He reached out and took my hand into his, and when he spoke his voice was uncannily calm and composed. “I’m a reasonable man. I’m going to give you a choice. Simply leave. Take the princess with you. Never talk to Ken again and you won’t have to worry about me messing with you. I have nothing against you, but I have everything against him.”
A rational girl would have accepted his offer. She would have immediately packed her bags and ran for her life and never looked back. For a minute I was tempted, but if I did that would make everything worthless. Every struggle and small battle fought so far would signify nothing. Plus, there was no way I was going to abandon Lucus. I didn’t want to. If that made me a love-struck voodoo queen, whatever.
I shook my hand free from his. “No. That’s not going to happen. I’ll have to decline your ever-so-thoughtful offer.”
He didn’t say anything. Instead, he rose from the bed and turned his back on me. Slowly, he peeled off his shirt and walked towards the dresser, where a bottle of vodka and a pack of cigarettes sat.
I winced as my eyes focused on his muscular back. How could I have overlooked the faint but distinct red design that covered it? A grotesque tattoo of multiple lash marks.
“Why would you… Why would you tattoo that on your back?” I asked.
He didn’t turn around. “I didn’t. The soul has a way of manifesting what it feels onto flesh. Strange, isn’t it?”
A flashback hit me, and Louis’ screams pierced my ears as whip met skin. Against my better judgment, I got up from the bed, straightened my black lace dress and walked over to Ivan. I slowly ran my fingers over his sweaty back and thought of something comforting to say. Something that Lucus would say. Something nice.
“You don’t have to live like this. Always angry.”
I heard him take a deep breath and then a long sip from the bottle that was in his hand. He turned to face me and smiled mischievously. “What is it with you? Can’t you see that anger is all I have left? Hatred is the only thing I live for. It’s the only thing that gives me any pleasure.”
“No. It doesn’t have to be that way. I can help you,” I
said. “I can help you understand why your mom did this to you, and…” My voice trailed off as my eyes focused on Ivan’s scowl.
He rolled his eyes and laughed. “You’re so naïve, falling for that crap Prince Charming is feeding you. It’s so easy for him to move on and preach about the future being bright and blah, blah, blah. The reality is, people are stupid and stubborn and nothing will ever change, so why should I even bother trying?”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “It’s not like that. Everything doesn’t always have to be so messed up. Maybe most people are better than we give them credit for. I’m over being constantly bitter, aren’t you? ”
He lit up a cigarette. “No. I’m not. My bitterness and silly little addictions are the only thing I own. From the moment I was born into this wretched world, nothing has been mine. Nothing. I’ve been produced, packaged, and marketed like some cheap product you can buy off E-bay. Can you comprehend what that’s like? Living your whole life without ever having control?”
I looked at my feet as Ivan spoke, unable to meet his eyes. There was no way I could ever compare my life to his. I had only gotten a small taste of what his existence had been like and that had been traumatizing enough.
He jerked my head from its low position and forced me to meet his eyes. “Too much for you? Too weak to admit that I’m the ugly consequence of their actions?”
“I don’t think you’re ugly.” Maybe I was too weak. I had no idea what to say to him. I wasn’t exactly the world’s best advice giver. I tried really hard to think back to my refrigerator door, where grand-mere insisted on hanging these heart-shaped magnets with random inspirational quotes on them. Sadly, no quote came to mind. Nothing came to mind at all. So I stood there and looked back down at my feet. Dealing with Ivan had been so much easier when he was just some random creep. Now, his creepiness had a heartbreaking story behind it, and I didn’t know what to make out of that or him.
“Are you going to tell me to just get over it?” he asked, as he exhaled an overpowering cloud of smoke. It lingered in the humid air and tickled my dry throat.
“No.” I lifted my head and waved away the smoke.
“Good. Because, Mon Dieu, I despise that phrase.”
“No one expects you to ever completely get over it. I know getting over pain is hard, but maybe you can try to be a tiny bit happier?” I reasoned. “If you need someone to talk to I can listen. I’m not great at giving advice but I can listen to you vent.”
“Ha ha ha. Am I in the Twilight Zone? The most miserable little girl on the planet is telling me to try to be happy? You’re dramatic and whiny because you have to work a few extra shifts here and there to pay some bills. You have it easy,” he said, as he walked over to the bed, stretched out his long limbs and stared up at the ceiling.
That really annoyed me. I stood over him and crossed my arms. “Have it easy? No one really has it easy. We all try to do the best we can. Everyone has their issues.”
Ivan continued to stare at the ceiling while smoking his cigarette. “You and I have more in common than you think, queen. We’re both smart enough to know that the world around us loves to put people in boxes. People love to sit around and categorize every sad little aspect of life into random, meaningless boxes. They get off on it because it makes them feel all-powerful. It’s sad, really, but it’s reality. Too bad for us, we don’t belong at the top of any list. As much as you’re trying to deny it, you know that Prince Charming will never get you. Your little princess friend will never truly understand, and the only reason you’re even bothering is because everyone around you is saying ‘just get over it already’. You’ll never be completely happy. You weren’t born to be happy because you were never given a fair chance.”
I felt my cheeks turn hot and my eyes narrow. Calm, Arelia. Calm. I had to keep reminding myself that. “You’re such a hypocrite,” I said. “You claim that the world loves putting people into boxes, but obviously you like doing the same. You never call anyone by their real names. Lucus is not Prince Charming and Sabrina is not Barbie. They have names because they are real people, not cartoon characters. If you want people to treat you differently then maybe you can try to be a little less repulsive.”
Ivan peeled his eyes off of the ceiling. His gaze rested on my face and there was a moment of silence before he spoke. “You don’t get it, queen, do you? I thought you would, but maybe Barbie’s vapidness is rubbing off on you. I choose to be repulsive and vile because it’s the box I select. No one else can put me in it.”
As much as I wanted to get what he was saying, I didn’t. Ivan was as enigmatic and puzzling as the loa. I had a horrible feeling that trying to understand him was going to be more trouble than I was ready for. “If you don’t want me to help you, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to buy you a white cat so you can sit around and stroke it while you come up with evil plans for eternity?” I asked. “Will that make it all better? I think it’s sad that you’ve written off the entire world. Not everyone and everything is as horrible as you think.”
Ivan didn’t say anything or even crack a smile. He got up from the bed and tossed the cigarette butt into a nearby trash can. I took a step back and reached for the doorknob. Before I could budge another inch, Ivan grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. The smell of his sweat mixed with cigarettes and John the Conqueror root was semi-sweet, smoky and unbelievably overpowering.
“The world is as messed up as I think because it’s never shown me otherwise. How am I supposed to believe something I’ve never seen? Now, I’m going to ask you again, queen. Leave. Get out of here and let me and Prince Charming wallow in the misery that we’ve both come to love,” he said, as he arched one eyebrow slightly and gave me an ultimatum.
I stood on my toes and pushed him back. “I already said no. Just because you keep asking, it doesn’t mean my answer is going to be any different. You’re going to stay bitter forever just because some girl chose Lucus over you? Well, to be honest, I don’t blame her for picking him.” There was no way in hell I was going to let Ivan threaten me.
He closed his eyes and let out a soft, miserable sigh. Slowly, he ran his coarse fingers through my hair. “Your little brain can be so shallow sometimes. You really ought to stop spending so much time with the princess. This is not about some girl; it’s about everything he represents: entitlement, supremacy, and oppression. Do you realize that these rooms are filled with blood? My blood, the blood of my mother, my father, and the blood of thousands of others forced to work against their will? The way I see it, he should sit here and rot for eternity in blood-filled rooms. It’s clearly my mother’s revenge on him and his family. So, I’m asking you for the last time. Leave. There are plenty of others like him roaming the city. I’m sure you’ll make a lovely placée for any one of them.”
“Screw you!” I screamed, as I slapped him across the face hard. “Who says that anymore? Who thinks like that?” Little by little the pity I had for him was starting to erode. I pressed myself up against the door and tried my best to distance myself from him.
“Tsk, tsk. Violence is not the answer, but I am a sucker for pain, baby. Slap me all you want. Besides, you’re only getting so worked up because you know it’s true.” Ivan’s eyes gleamed in delight and the corners of his mouth curled. Apparently, he loved getting slapped and making people upset. There was a short silence and then suddenly he was serious, quiet and reflective. He stroked my cheek softly and stared at me with his strange, haunting eyes. “It’s okay; you’re so young, you still have your illusions about the world.”
“Oh, I have no illusions,” I said firmly. Who was he to tell me how I saw the world?
He sighed. “You’ll learn. I used to be that way too. Innocent. Naïve. I truly believed in the good in people. Sadly, none of my beliefs were ever true. The truth is, people are pathetic and pitiful, and as far as I’m concerned this whole world should just burn already. I’m pretty sure most people feel the same way I do, given how trendy dystopian and
apocalyptic movies are. Sure, some things may change in name within our sad legal system, but they never change where it matters most- in people’s hearts. And that is why we are all screwed.”
Standing there and listening to Ivan spout his jaded and bitter world-views was exhausting. I never thought I’d ever meet anyone more cynical than myself. Clearly, I had met my superior. How was I supposed to help someone so horrible? The thing that made it worse was that Ivan knew he was awful. I was tired of arguing with him. His spectacularly flawed logic was making me dizzy. All I wanted to do was find Sabrina, apologize and get back to Lucus. Sigh. Lucus. “We’re not getting anywhere arguing. Now, since you haven’t decided what you want to do with me, let me go already.”
Ivan threw his head back and grinned. “Who says I haven’t decided what to do with you? I can’t just let you go, can I? You’ve got such a big mouth, if I let you go, you’re going to go running to Prince Charming and tell him everything.”
“No I won’t, I promise.” It was such a lie, of course; I was going to tell Aunt Mae first and then Lucus. “I just want to stay here and earn some money.”
Ivan came closer. The scent of cigarettes and John the Conqueror root grew stronger. “You’re lying, queen. Don’t be such a pathetic, self-sacrificing girl with low self-esteem,” he said, as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “Leave.”
“No,” I said firmly.
“Fine then,” he whispered, “Go to sleep, little baby. When you wake up nothing will make sense.”
Before I had a chance to say anything, he pressed his lips against mine, and the world went dark.
Chapter 3
I’ve Laid a Passway For You
My eyes opened and the first thing that I saw was Ivan. To my horror, I realized that I was in his bed; fully clothed, thank God. After he kissed me everything had gone blank and silent. Had I fallen asleep, and for how long?