by Kira Saito
The room was dark and still except for a few black candles that burned low. They bathed Ivan’s face in soft and deceptively angelic light. His grey eyes were wide and innocent, but the hard expression on his lips gave him away.
I noticed that the sun had gone down since my little nap, meaning that I must have been out for at least an hour. The stale smell of cigarettes had been replaced by an oddly enticing mixture of musty smoke and… sweet chocolate? I sniffed the air and tried to take in every ounce of its seductive aroma.
“What?” I asked. “How?” I tried to move, but my limbs were heavy and lifeless. Like a sluggish idiot, I attempted to sit up, only to have my body fail me. With every attempt, the squishy mattress would pull me back down.
My throat was dry, and trying to form full sentences was proving to be a monumental challenge.
Ivan smiled that smug smile of his and said nothing as he propped both hands behind his head and leaned against the heavy headboard. His expression grew increasingly bright as he watched me struggle.
“Water,” I muttered.
“You don’t need water. You’re only being dramatic.” He let out a giant bored sigh.
“You ass. What have you done?” My voice was low and screechy, like a demented banshee. It was unrecognizable even to my own ears.
“Erzulie?” I begged for her to answer even though I knew she was determined to make me understand Ivan. If he wasn’t the enemy, why should she help me fight him?
After watching me for a few minutes, Ivan roughly pulled me towards him and rested my damp head on his lap. He wound a loose curl around his finger. “There’s no point in trying to fight it, queen. You’ll move eventually.”
“Let me go,” I whispered. “Please. I won’t tell anyone. I promise. But I can’t leave. I just can’t. Please understand.”
Ivan ignored me. Instead, he ran his fingers lightly down my cheeks and across my mouth. “Do you know what the best part of hoodoo/voodoo is?”
I shook my head.
“You can do all sorts of things without ever having to actually physically touch someone. It’s so easy to get someone to behave and do all kinds of bad that they wouldn’t normally have the guts to do. Let me tell you a little story.”
“Obviously I don’t have a choice, now do I?” I said through clenched teeth.
“No, not really,” he said, as he gently stroked my forehead and peered at me with serene but somewhat menacing eyes. “You see, back in the day, when voodoo/hoodoo was thought of as no more than wild, naked dancing that involved a lot of snakes, people were scared. Hell, they were terrified; yet strangely fascinated. Of course, some of these poor, conflicted souls were morbidly curious and would often secretly wander into voodoo ceremonies, where they had no place being. Both you and I know how moody the loa can be. Anyways, I guess you can’t blame anyone for being curious, it’s human nature, but you can blame people for being stupid. Most of these people were smart enough to keep their mouths shut, but not all.”
“If you’re going to give me a boring history lesson, you might as well kill me now. You said I was a crappy storyteller; well, you’re no better,” I muttered, as I tried to move his hand away from my forehead.
Ivan laughed a deep, genuine laugh. “So much fire, queen. You and I could be great friends only if you saw things my way. Now, quit interrupting and let me finish. So, the stupid people were the ones who opened their mouths and ran to the cops. Yeah, even the cops were cracking down on voodoo back then. Of course, the media, especially The Times Picayune, got its kicks from reporting voodoo-related arrests. In 1863, a silly little girl with a big mouth accidently stumbled into the middle of a ceremony. She must have been a lot like you, because instead of just ignoring it and getting on with her life, she reported what she saw to the cops. Around four hundred women were charged with the crime of dancing naked. I guess whatever loa they were calling on was in the mood for a good time. These women were put on trial, but strange things started to happen. Confusing things. The little girl suddenly couldn’t remember what she saw. When she opened her big mouth at the trial, no words came out. The judge was inexplicably charmed by these supposedly evil women and dropped all charges, citing a lack of evidence.”
“What does this story have to do with me?” I asked.
Ivan lowered his head, brought his lips to my ear and started to gently sing in a mournful tone:
I got stones in my passway
And my road seem dark as night
I got stones in my passway
And my road seem dark as night
I have pains in my hearts
They have taken my appetite
I have a bird to whistle
“You don’t have a big mouth, do you, Arelia?”
I wanted to say yes, but for some peculiar reason, the word wouldn’t come out. Yes became: “No.”
“I didn’t think so.”
You laid a passway for me
Now what are you trying to do
I'm crying please
Plea-ease let us be friends
And when you hear me howling in my passway, rider
Plea-ease open your door and let me in
“You’re paranoid and indecisive, and now my thoughts will become yours,” said Ivan.
I wanted to scream no they won’t, but once again the words didn’t come out.
“My thoughts will become yours. Soon, you’ll be so confused that all you’ll want to do is get as far away from here as possible. You’re the silly, stubborn girl who just can’t seem to keep her mouth shut, so you’re going to be taught how.”
“No,” I finally managed to whisper. “No.”
“Oh, but yes. You see, I’ve been watching you, baby; I know your habits, and that gives me power over you. Maybe you should have been doing the same instead of constantly calling me a creep and running off to his arms. Now, we’re going to get up and go back to the party before anyone starts to really worry, aren’t we?”
“No. No, we’re not. I have to go find Sabrina.”
Ivan brought his face close to mine. He slipped his fingers around the back of my neck and looked me straight in the eyes. His gaze was deep, forceful, and strangely dangerous. My hands fell unwillingly onto his chest and I tried to push him away, but I couldn’t. Cigarettes, chocolate and Louis. “No, you don’t,” he said afterwards. “We’re going to have some fun and then you’re going to pack your bags and leave.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he said, as he slowly released me.
“I don’t see things your way,” I said. “You won’t be able to control me or get rid of me!” I hissed.
He grinned as he got up and put on his white shirt and black tie. “You’ll see.”
Chapter 4
Blood-filled Boxes
Numbly, I followed Ivan down the stairs and out the front door. My body was no longer heavy and useless, but my mind was cloudy. All I could think about was boxes and blood.
Big boxes. Small boxes. Lucus and I belonged in different boxes. He belonged on the box on top of the list and I belonged on the box at the bottom. I had to leave Darkwood. Darkwood was filled with blood. Lucus deserved to live in rooms full of blood. Lucus was the enemy.
I wanted to go search for Sabrina, but it was clear that Ivan had some kind of sick power over me. I wondered how he had done it, and more importantly how I could stop it. In the voodoo/hoodoo tradition, I knew that there were a thousand methods that one could employ to dominate and possess another, so finding and stopping Ivan’s exact formula was going to be tricky. Had he used an Arelia voodoo doll? Had he laid a trick somewhere? Had he made an offering to a spirit and if so, which one? Think, Arelia.
He took my hand and intertwined his long fingers with mine. I wanted to shake him free, but some twisted, inexplicable force kept me attached to him. I took a quick glance at his rugged profile with its proud bum-chin and wanted to smack him. He caught me staring.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it agai
n, violence is never the answer,” he said calmly, as he gave me a sweet smile.
I let out a frustrated sigh but didn’t say anything. I needed my energy to think for myself and shut his voice out of my head. I was used to the spirits messing around up there. I didn’t have room for another voice. Things were getting too complicated. The lines between good and bad, right and wrong, were quickly becoming blurred into one big gruesome pot of gumbo.
Outside, the low moon shone down carelessly on the mowed lawn and the emerald grass glowed. The giant oaks were still and silent, as if they were lamenting and mourning with me over what had happened. The humidity was overpowering and even the usually cool marble of the porch seemed to burn my bare feet. An hour ago the sweet smell of jasmine had lingered in the air, but now the only thing I could smell was cigarette smoke infused with sweet chocolate and Louis.
As we approached the lavish rose garden, I could hear the drunken laughter of guests as they shouted over the increasingly lively jazz band. The scene that greeted us was exactly as I had left it. Guests mingling in careless abandon, Aunt Mae and Grand-mere deep in conversation while multi-colored roses danced around them and the Greek-style fountain soothingly drizzled in the background. Mrs. Dreaux stood scowling at the crowd and Tony stood beside her.
To my horror and relief Lucus stood by a corner table. In a vastly corny and predictable move, my heart skipped a beat when I caught a glimpse of him. He gave me a small smile, but his dark eyes became increasingly narrow when he caught sight of my hand intertwined with Ivan’s. I noticed that the muscles in his jaw tightened, but he didn’t move. I mentally begged him to come rescue me. How pathetic, considering that a little over a month ago I had thrown clumps of mud at him. Even though that little experience had been really fun, I did feel a tiny bit guilty about it now.
“Let me go.” I tried to shake my hand free from Ivan’s.
“No. We’re going to dance, queen.”
I wanted to shout no we’re not, but instead, no came out as, “Okay.”
Ivan pulled me close to him and started to move in a surprisingly graceful manner that was in perfect harmony with the music. All around us guests swayed and moved, unaware of the little drama that was playing out between Ivan and me.
“Look at me, queen,” said Ivan, as he turned my head towards him. His grey eyes gleamed. “Don’t we make a cute couple?”
“No,” I viciously hissed. In a miraculous moment of clarity, I was able to shut out his dogma. “You’re only doing this because you haven’t gotten over the fact that the girl you loved had a thing for Lucus. The only person you’re hurting is yourself. Lucus doesn’t even know any of this. He’s just as lost as you. If you have any sense, you’ll stop this sick game and work with me, not against me.”
“Like I said before, this is not about her. This is about him. It’s about respecting the fate my mother wanted him to suffer. I don’t want your help. Not everyone is a tragic little victim who needs rescuing. I refuse to be a victim,” he said.
“You don’t know why your mom did this! You said so yourself. You said that you’ve stopped trying to figure it all out.”
“Queen, you only hear what you want, don’t you? I knew my mother. I know this is what she would have wanted. If I can get back at him even in the slightest way possible, I’ll take it.”
“And your father? Is this what he would have wanted?”
Ivan tossed back his head and let out a loud laugh. “Oh, that poor bastard was caught running away and was killed by a bloodhound. Not exactly Father of the Year material, or a role model. Don’t remember his face or care to remember it. Ken is watching. Come on now and give me a kiss.”
In my head, I screamed, No!, but my body unwillingly leaned close to his.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was Henri. The sight of him in a sunny yellow evening jacket and sky blue tie was a welcome relief. “Sorry to interrupt, but there are guests to serve,” he said, directing his comment at Ivan.
“Sorry, sir.” Ivan gave me a long, leisurely kiss on the cheek and headed towards the corner of the lawn where other waiters filled cocktail glasses.
Henri’s soft eyes were filled with worry as he took in the sight of my bewildered expression. “Arelia, are you okay?” he asked.
“I…” I wanted to tell him everything. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but like a mute, nothing came out. Louis is Ivan. Ivan is Louis. I don’t know what’s going on. “Everything is fine,” I said, as I feigned a small smile.
“Are you sure?” he asked again, as he stood there and eyed me suspiciously.
Around me, the faces seemed to blur and contort. The sweat that dripped down from their foreheads slowly transformed into a rich red liquid. The Sezeracs and Vieux Carres glasses that were in their hands overflowed with endless streams of deep red blood. The band had started to play “Happy Birthday”, and the guests started to sing.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Mr. Dumpty
The large red velvet cake that Mr. Dumpty stood over was lavish and flawlessly decorated with tiny rosebuds. However, for some strange reason as I looked at the cake, my skin became clammy and I could feel vomit crawling its way up the back of my throat. My neck muscles tightened as he blew out the candles and brought a large knife to it. As he sliced it, blood gushed out of the cut. It flowed from the cake in a strong and malicious stream. Soon, the lush green grass turned a brilliant shade of red that stained my bare feet. In that second three things became very evident: I needed to stop running around without any shoes on. The party was paid for by money made off the blood of others. I needed to get out of there.
“Yes. I’m fine,” I stuttered. “I just need a minute. I have to go check on Sabrina,” I said, as I turned my back on him and ran out of the garden.
In reality, my head felt heavy. A dull ache had settled in and the only thing I could think of was what Ivan had said. Stupid boxes. Blood. Rooms full of buckets of blood. Anger is all I have left.
I needed to be alone. I needed to focus and concentrate on shutting out his voice. Unaware of where I was going, I stumbled into an adjacent garden. The enchanting sight of purple and white water lilies floating on a pond caught me off guard and temporarily silenced Ivan’s voice. They elegantly meandered under the pale moonlight and reminded me that the world wasn’t as ugly as Ivan thought it was.
I kneeled by the large pond, placed my fingers on my temples and ran my fingers through my hair, which was no longer straight but incredibly wild and frizzy, thanks to the humidity. I looked down at the grass and gave thanks that it was a beautiful shade of emerald green rather than a disturbing red.
In a moment of pure wonder and magic, a light breeze stirred the water and the delicate lilies started to swirl. The purple and white spun together at a maddening speed, creating an inky lavender pool that glittered under the starlight.
“Arelia, Arelia. Do you like my little trick? It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” asked an eerie but familiar voice.
“Bade?” I cautiously asked.
“Who else?”
Great. Ivan’s obnoxious voice mixed with Bade’s creepy hiss. This was going to be good. Be respectful. Yes. I had to remember to be really respectful. “Hey Bade. What’s up?”
“Why are you kneeling in front of a pond full of lilies, Arelia?”
“Because they’re really pretty. I’m hoping they can shut out the ugly voice in my head.”
“Oh Arelia, you know that poor Louis isn’t ugly. He’s just misunderstood. You know what it’s like to be misunderstood, don’t you?”
“I guess.” I shrugged.
“Anyways, I don’t want to talk about him. I want to talk about her.”
“Who?”
“You know, her.”
I took a deep breath. More games and riddles from Bade. “Please tell me who you’re talking about Bade, please.”
“Your friend.”
“Sab
rina?”
“Who else, silly Arelia. She’s upset. Powerful things happen when people are really upset. Strange things. Why did you make her so upset?”
I quickly got up from the ground. “Is she okay? Is she upstairs?”
“No.”
“Where did she go? Please tell me, I’ll give you anything you want.”
“I’m not going to tell you until you tell me why you made her so upset.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was too afraid to admit something to her. I didn’t think she would understand.”
Bade let out a wicked laugh, and a chilly wind crept through my lace dress. “You always think no one will understand. You still aren’t letting others in, and that makes you very egotistical.”
I covered my face with my hands and muffled a scream. After I regained my composure, I spoke carefully. “Bade, can you please tell me where she is? What strange things are you talking about? Please tell me,” I begged.
“Will you try not to be an ego-maniac?” he asked.
“Yes. I promise,” I reluctantly agreed. Was I really an ego-maniac?
“Fine. She’s run off to the old cemetery.”
“Why would she go there?” Sabrina was a massive chicken. The scariest thing she ever did was sleep with Ivan. I prayed that she was okay so I could yell at her for running off to a cemetery in the middle of the night. Although it didn’t really surprise me. Whenever she got really upset she always lashed out in a dramatic and reckless manner.
“When you humans are upset, it makes the process so much easier. Everything is so much easier when the soul is weak and vulnerable.”
“What process?”
“Oh silly Arelia, I can’t tell you. You know I won’t tell you. Why do you even bother asking?”
Why did spirits insist on calling me silly? “Does Sousson Pannan have her?” My voice screeched.
“No. Not him. He’s not very powerful at all, just really hungry and greedy.”
Clearly, Bade wasn’t going to reveal the identity of whoever had Sabrina. “What should I do, Bade, can you please tell me?”