An Unforgivable Love Story

by B. L. Berry

“It’s okay,” my best friend says with a sigh. “I’m just relieved to know that you’re actually real and not just a fictitious character that El has made up.”

  Simon laughs softly on the other end and I sit back in my chair, listening to their conversation while I peruse the menu. “No, no, I can promise you that I’m all real.”

  I bite my lip and stifle a giggle at his subtle sexual undertone.

  “So … Tampa?” I can hear the challenge in her voice and I don’t like it.

  “Yeah, not sure if Elyse told you or not, but I write for Condé Nast. My travel schedule is pretty unforgiving.”

  “I’ll bet it is.” Olivia’s eyes flash toward me, giving me a pointed look.

  “Be nice,” I hiss across the table. Olivia simply rolls her eyes and takes my phone into her hands.

  I listen to them chat about a few mundane things and slowly, I can see Olivia start to ease up on him a little. I know that my best friend has given him clearance when she pokes around at his matchmaking skills.

  “So tell me, Simon, do you have any adorable, available friends?”

  The waiter swings back by our table, dropping off our mimosas. I quickly sip down half of my glass, trying to catch up to Olivia.

  “Most of my friends are either married or are bonafide assholes. And I couldn’t possibly set my girl’s best friend up with someone like that.” Simon coughs on the other end of the line and says something that surprises us both. “I do, however, have an older brother.”

  I can see Olivia’s mind working in overdrive. “You never mentioned anything about a brother,” she shoots at me.

  “Because he doesn’t live in this state. I’ve never even met the guy.” I shrug.

  Even better she mouths my direction. “So, does this brother of yours look anything like you?” Olivia asks with a mischievous chuckle which causes Simon to laugh, too.

  “We could be twins.” And he’s right — they could be judging from the photos I’ve seen around his apartment. “I’ll tell you what. Nate is coming back into town in a few weeks for a visit. He lives down in Georgia but he recently started talking about moving back to the city. He’s a really good guy. Whenever he makes it up, I’ll introduce you.”

  “That’s exciting. I had no idea he was coming back,” I chime in.

  “Yeah, I got an email about it last night. I guess I forgot to tell you since we were a bit preoccupied last night.”

  I feel the heat rise in my cheeks and I know my face has flushed scarlet. We had made plans to see the new Chris Hemsworth movie last night, but when I answered the door wearing nothing but high heels and the navy NYU shirt he’d left at my place, we never made it to the theater.

  Olivia winks, and I know full well she’s going to press for all the details after we hang up.

  “All right, ladies. I’m pulling into the parking lot at O’Hare, so I need to let you go. Olivia, it was a pleasure chatting with you briefly. And again, I’m sorry I couldn’t meet in person. I’ll make it up to you soon.”

  “Like when you introduce me to that brother of yours? But yes, it was nice to sorta meet you, too.” She smiles so bright her dimples illuminate her face.

  “You got it. And Elyse, I’ll call you when I get to my hotel tonight.”

  I grab my phone and take it off of speaker quickly. “Sounds good. Safe travels, babe.”

  “I’ll see you next week.”

  Ugh. I hate this distance, but I do my best to keep the smile in my voice. There’s a moment of silence between us where I know what I want to say, but it’s so damn difficult to breathe with those three little words caught in the back of my throat. I feel them, but I can’t bring myself to say them aloud just yet, so I take a deep breath and swallow them back down, terrified at the thought of him knowing how I truly feel.

  “I’ll miss you … later, Simon.”

  “Bye, hun.”

  And then the line goes dead.

  Olivia turns her attention toward me and I polish off the rest of my mimosa before starting on the extra one she had ordered for Simon.

  “Well, he seems nice.” Olivia grabs her cigarettes from her purse, but I pluck the pack from her hands.

  “That’s because he is. And seriously, you need to quit that shit.”

  Olivia rolls her eyes. “It’s just weird. You guys have been dating for a while and I still haven’t met him.”

  I sigh deeply. I hate that he hasn’t met her, too. “I was really hoping that would have ended today. But he travels like crazy. I hate that I only get to see him a handful of days each month and that we’re relegated to phone calls on the road.”

  “There’s always phone sex.” She smiles her wicked smile and I snort, appreciating that she’s trying to make light of a crappy situation. “Listen, I get his schedule is shit and I hate that your relationship struggles in some ways because of that. I really do get that. I just hate that I don’t see you as much as I used to. Even with Jason, you never allowed yourself to get so wrapped up in a guy where you forgot about your friends.”

  My heart sinks and my eyes drift to the empty glass on the table. Guilt infiltrates the crevasses of my body and I can’t even look my best friend in the eye. I know I’ve been busy lately and try to make sure I see Simon as often as I can when he’s in town.

  “Have I really been that bad?” I finally swallow my pride to look right at my best friend her face falls serious.

  “Yeah. I would have assumed that with his travel schedule, I’d at least get to see you a few weekends of the month, but you never want to go out anymore. I just miss my girl time with you, that’s all. We don’t even have to paint the town red. Hell, it’d be nice just to stay in and paint our toenails red instead.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek, knowing that Olivia is right. I know I’ve been a crappy friend lately. But this guy has spun my world inside out in the best way possible.

  “I’m sorry,” I say softly.

  “Don’t be. Like I said, I get it. You’re head over heels for this guy and I, for one, am thrilled to see you so happy. All I’m saying is maybe you need a better balance.”

  I raise my eyebrows at her.

  “Yeah, you know, sometimes you need to lace up your shoes and go run ten miles. And other days you need to strip out of your pants, rip off your bra and eat ice cream straight from the carton for dinner. Balance.”

  I laugh. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I have been spending too much time with him. Whenever he’s in town, we try to see each other every day. But even when he’s not around, we’re constantly texting and talking on the phone. More girl time would do us good.

  “Holy shit!” she shrieks, effectively pulling my from my thoughts and reaches out her hand to touch the gemstone resting at my collarbone. “Where did you get that? That’s a killer piece of jewelry. CZ, right?”

  “Um, it’s real.” Olivia’s jaw drops and her eyes go wide. “Simon gave it to me.”

  “Seriously?”

  I nod, trying to hide my smile. “Seriously.”

  “That must have cost a fortune.”

  I shrug her comment off, not even daring to tell her it came from Bvlgari. “He could have won it in a gumball machine and I’d love it just the same.”

  “Well, then. You guys are more serious than I thought, El.”

  I know I owe her some kind of explanation for being so wrapped up in this man. “Honestly? I can’t remember my life before he walked into it. Simon has made all of the struggles and bullshit I’ve gone through completely worth it. He’s the first man who has truly made Jason a thing of this past.”

  Olivia says nothing. She simply watches me and the corners of her mouth tip up ever so slightly, if not cautiously.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Liv. It’s just that when we’re together, I forget that the rest of the world exists.”

  Olivia places her hand on my wrist gingerly. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt again, El.”

  I know that I can get carried away, and
I love how Olivia can always carry me back. “He’s not Jason. He won’t hurt me.” This man is undoubtedly my Prince Charming.

  She looks at me and her eyes crinkle with elation. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. You just have to promise me that I at least get to meet him before your wedding day.”

  “Hey, nobody’s getting married.” While he very well could be the one, I am in no rush to be making that kind of commitment again just yet.

  Olivia raises her champagne flute and toasts me with her mimosa. “At least not yet.”

  Twelve

  The Invitation

  “Look out the window ... Tell me what you see.” I snuggle up under the covers with a smile on my face and a hope in my heart. A hope that one day I will be able to see all the wonderful things he tells me.

  “Ah, this again?” he asks, his voice laced with charm. We’ve played this game his past few trips.

  “Yes! Come on, you’re in Costa Rica and I’ve never been. Tell me everything.”

  He laughs tenderly into the phone, ready to humor my racing imagination. “Well, you know I’m in town for this humanitarian piece. The owner of this particular hotel chain has opened his doors to victims of the Hurricane Cale. Hurricanes rarely hit Costa Rica because of its position to the equator. So when Cale was raised from a tropical storm to a hurricane, the majority of people weren’t able to take shelter and their livelihoods were washed out.

  “So what the Amor Resort has done is opened its doors to the people who lost everything. If they are willing to assist with local cleanup efforts and pitch in at the hotel, they are free to stay up to a month. It’s truly a philanthropic way of giving back to the community.”

  “It sounds a little self-serving too, though.”

  “Perhaps. But both parties need each other.”

  I instantly know what he means because I feel like I need Simon in my life just as he needs me in his. We’re not just good for each other. We bring out the best in each other.

  I roll over onto my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows. “So is everything destroyed?” I can’t even begin to fathom the level of despair the locals are experiencing.

  “Yeah, I’m looking at the ocean right now. It’s truly spectacular even with the abundance of seaweed floating in the water. The beaches are littered with debris and crumbled buildings.” My heart breaks a little thinking about how so many people lost everything they owned. “I know this will sound weird, but I’ve always thought the aftermath of the storm was the most beautiful. It’s like nature has an agenda of wiping away any traces of man and returning the earth to its original state. If you can endure nature’s fury, you’re treated to a beautiful calm after the storm. It’s a lot like life. Get through the unexpected bullshit and then you can enjoy the spoils of survival.”

  Now he’s making no sense, but I don’t care. I shut my eyes and listen to his words. The seductive timbre in his voice rolls over me in waves, soothing me to my core. He sighs heavily into the phone.

  “You know, Elyse, this would all be significantly more beautiful if you were here with me. And one day, you will be. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

  My heart tumbles in delight at the prospect of joining him on one of his assignments. It’s the sign of things becoming serious between us. “I hope so too, Simon.” And then I hear it, his smile in the silence of the phone. “Are you smiling right now?” I tease.

  “I’m talking to my girl. Of course I’m smiling. Besides, I have something to ask you …”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yeah,” he says with a slightly shaky breath. “I’m planning on traveling to Paris sometime soon.”

  “For work?” It comes out whinier than I care to admit. I hate his travel schedule. It robs us of what little precious time we have together.

  “No, for pleasure.” He pauses reverently for a moment and I fidget with the bottom of my shirt. “Perhaps... Perhaps you would like to come with me?”

  Is this an invitation? To Paris? I haven’t had the chance yet to meet his family or friends, but he wants to take me to Paris? He really is serious about this relationship. “Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there, but I’ve always been a bit nervous to travel internationally,” I confess more to myself than Simon.

  “Well, I’ll take care of you, I promise. We could even fly first class for additional comfort. And I won’t let go of your hand the entire time.”

  First class? What the hell? First class internationally easily runs two thousand per ticket—at least!

  “Simon ... that feels a bit over the top, don’t you think?”

  ”You are worthy of all this and more. Why can’t you see that, Elyse? I’m not your ex.”

  This is how relationships are supposed to be. He makes me feel worthy. And loved. And enough. More than enough, really.

  Stop overthinking this, Elyse.

  I never imagined I’d find a relationship like this. My cheeks hurt from the ridiculous grin taking over my face.

  “Now you’re smiling aren’t you?”

  “No,” I lie, with laughter in my voice. I roll over onto my back again and look up at the ceiling. How on earth did I manage to get so lucky?

  “So is that a yes? Will you come to France with me?”

  “Yes, I’d love to.”

  “Oh, Elyse, you will love it. I’ll take you to all of my favorite places. There is an incredible merry-go-round in Montmartre by the cathedral. It’s old-fashioned complete with wooden horses and hot-air balloons. And after that we’ll kiss on the Lovers Bridge.”

  He sounds happier than a kid on Christmas morning after tearing through Santa’s spread of gifts as he details all of the sights we’ll see and things we’ll experience together. Just as we begin talking about booking our flights for next month, my phone beeps.

  “Hold on a sec — someone is trying to call me.” I pull the phone away from my face and see Alex on the other line. “It’s just Alex.”

  “Do you need to get that?”

  “Nah, I’ll give him a call later.”

  I ignore the next three calls he makes and the text message chime that comes through my ear. Not even five minutes later someone is frantically hitting the buzzer on the gate downstairs.

  Jesus Christ. Someone had better be dead.

  “It sounds like someone is in desperate need of my girl. Go see what your friend needs and give me a call later tonight. Okay, babe?”

  “Sounds good. Chat soon!” I end the call and pull a long-sleeved shirt on over my camisole so I’m a little more presentable on this lazy Saturday morning.

  I push the button the wall and speak into the box before unlocking the gate outside. “This had better be an emergency, Alex.”

  I remove the chain lock off the door and grab a bottle of water as I wait for his arrival. But when I see Alex’s name flash across the screen of my phone, panic courses through my veins.

  “Alex? What the hell is going on?”

  “Jason,” he spits out, panting heavily. “I think he’s on his way to see you.”

  Shit.

  “Why?”

  “No idea. But I’ve been on the phone with him since five in the morning when he first called. El, the guy is a wreck. And he’s been drinking.”

  I take his words as a warning. Jason always was a nasty drunk. Overly aggressive. Handsy. And more often than not, outright cruel. If alcohol was a truth serum, then it would be known that Jason hated everything about the world. Especially me.

  I look down to my watch. It’s not even noon. Even this is a bit out of character, even for him.

  What the fuck? I turn to lock my front door again, but a dark figure towers in my doorway.

  Thirteen

  The Past Always Catches Up To You

  The shadow lingers in the doorframe, billowing at an intimidating height. Jason always had the build of a linebacker, the strength of one, too. But his temper rivaled that of a hornet under siege.

  Jason slurs something uninte
lligible. And it’s clear, he’s not just drunk.

  He’s wasted.

  Jason sways and stumbles through my door and topples onto me. Literally. I break his fall as he comes crashing down on me in one painful oomph. My phone spills out of reach and the battery pops off the back. I push against his chest with all of my strength, but he doesn’t budge. Not even an inch.

  Oh my god. This is it. This is how I’m going to die. He’s come to kill me. Which is ironic considering I’ve always said that I would gladly rip off his dick and leave him to die if given the chance.

  “Elyse.” His voice is small and barely a whisper. He looks down from above me, his blood-shot eyes knitted with an alcohol-induced sincerity. His dirty blond hair is disheveled and his ocean blue eyes are bloodshot with despair. And just like that, the tiny, icy piece of my heart that he still holds, melts.

  We look at each other for seconds … maybe hours. Who knows. I want to remember the good times, but I swallow, burying those emotions down deep into the parts of me that I only visit on the rare occasion. Jason brushes a loose piece of hair from my face, but I close my eyes and cringe.

  It’s then that I realize all I see is Simon. He is the good in my life. The man who deserves me. He is everything that Jason is not. And I instantly recognize that if Simon were to walk in right now, I would never forgive myself for the way this looks.

  “You need to leave.” My voice isn’t nearly as stern as I wish it were and I silently curse myself, hating that I’m incapable of being stronger right now. I loathe that tiny part of my heart that is pained to see him this way.

  Jason leans down and presses his forehead against mine gently, causing me to wince. I shut my eyes and turn my face. When I finally garner the courage to open them again, he’s a mere breath away from trying to kiss me.

  Fear takes over and the desperation for self-defense overtakes my body. I writhe under his painful hold, moving one of my legs in between his. I instinctively ram my knee into his groin and instantly feel the weight of Jason’s body on mine as he collapses in agony. Slapping and clawing anything my hands can hit, he surrenders and rolls onto his back in the middle of my tiny living room. He takes up most of the floor space.