by Amy Lillard
His voice was soft and next to her. “Sadie? Are you okay?”
She tried to nod, but it hurt too bad. Instead she turned toward him. “I think so,” she said.
“Oh no, you’re not.” He said the words gently, in that sweet Ezra way that he had. Then he helped her to her feet and over to the bench.
He reached into his gym bag and pulled out a towel. Only then did Sadie realize that her hands were covered in blood. Her blood. “Is my nose busted?”
“It’s just bleeding,” Ezra said. “Here.” He held the towel gently to her nose, then nudged her head back. “I’ll help you to the restroom. Okay?”
“Okay,” Sadie said, but she didn’t recognize her voice, as muffled as it was by the towel.
“Don’t worry. I’ll lead you there.”
Sadie tried to relax and follow his lead as Ezra helped her toward the restroom. She couldn’t see where she was going, so she closed her eyes, but that only made things worse. She opened them again, watching the ceiling as she walked down the hallway of the rec center with him.
“Here,” Ezra said. “Do you want me to go in with you?” He released the towel into her hands.
Sadie tipped her head back straight. “No, I think I’m fine,” she said and started into the ladies’ room.
She blinked a couple of times as she walked into the brightly lit room, then went over to the sinks to survey the damage. It looked worse than it was. She had blood on her face and blood on her hands, but her nose was only slightly swollen. The ball must’ve hit just right to make it bleed but not break it. Still, she thought as she cleaned up, that was one good thing about mourning. Any blood that she got on her dress was hidden, though she would have to make sure come laundry day that she soaked out the stains.
She had less than three more months to wear the black, but she couldn’t go around stained up for even that long. She wet the towel in the sink with cold water, pressing it to her face to eliminate any other swelling. She tried to hurry since he was out there waiting. His voice had been filled with worry as he led her to the restroom. She wanted to make sure that he knew she was okay.
She wrung out the towel again and rinsed the blood that was left in the sink, then held the towel over her face one more time.
“Did you see her?”
At first Sadie almost answered, thinking the disembodied voice was speaking to her, but then another voice joined the first one.
“I cannot believe he brought an Amish girl here.”
Sadie didn’t recognize the voices, but she didn’t need to know who they were to know that they were talking about her.
“I don’t understand. I tried to get him to go out with my sister. Logan has been trying to set him up with Annie K. Then he brings that.”
The words were so mean that Sadie could barely register them at all. Had she just called her a that? What was wrong with her? What was wrong with Sadie? She hadn’t done anything wrong. She surely hadn’t done anything to the unknown girl in the bathroom stall.
“I know. I mean aside from the fact that she’s plain and not really very pretty and in mourning wearing all that black, she’s Amish. What was he thinking?”
That was the worst thing the unknown girl could say about her? Sadie knew she was plain, she knew she was dressed in black, and yet the worst thing the woman could say about her was that she was Amish? What was wrong with these people?
Suddenly Sadie wanted out of there as fast as she could get. Bile rose in the back of her throat, her stomach churned, and a sob threatened to escape. She pushed it back, stifled it with one hand, and with the other pushed her way out of the restroom.
Ezra was waiting there for her, as he had promised. “Are you okay—” He stopped as he saw the look on her face. “Why do I have a feeling this doesn’t have anything to do with your nose?”
She shook her head. “Can you take me home now?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Jah. Yes,” Sadie corrected. “I’d like to go home now.”
Ezra led her back to the gym door. “Are you going to tell me what happened in there?”
“Not right now, okay?”
“Okay,” Ezra said. “But you need to tell me. I don’t want secrets between us.”
How could there be secrets between them when everyone had made it their personal goal to discuss them whenever and wherever they wanted to? But Sadie didn’t say that. She nodded and stayed outside the gym as Ezra went to retrieve his bag.
* * *
He was fairly certain that one of the hardest things he’d ever done was leave Sadie standing outside those gym doors not knowing what had happened in the bathroom. She had only been in there five minutes, tops. Her nose didn’t look nearly as bad when she came out as it did going in, so why were those hazel eyes swimming with tears when she stepped back into the hallway?
He hustled over to where he left his bag, not bothering to put his boots back on. He shoved them inside the bag, wanting to get back to Sadie as soon as possible.
“Is she okay?” Logan asked.
Ezra zipped his bag and looked up to see not only Logan and Mindy waiting on answers, but Peter, Mary, Mose, and Amanda as well. Mary looked near tears.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” Mary said.
“I know you didn’t, and she’ll be fine. I’m going to take her home now.”
“Will you tell her I’m sorry?” Mary asked.
Normally Ezra would have said for Mary to tell Sadie herself. But somehow he got the feeling Mary would be one of the last people that Sadie wanted to see right then. “I’ll tell her,” he said.
Ezra slung his bag over his shoulder and started for the door. The girls fell back, leaving Peter, Mose, and Logan to walk with him. They got halfway to the door of the gym when Ezra turned around.
“Is there something you guys would like to talk about?” He would’ve liked to have said that he was surprised when Logan nodded. But he wasn’t.
“Why did you bring her here?” Logan asked.
“Because I like her.”
“She’s Amish,” Mose said.
Ezra closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head, trying to free those rattling thoughts from his brain. Was that such a bad thing that she was Amish?
“We are Mennonite,” Peter said.
Ezra had known them all since they were in grade school. Logan was his cousin, Peter was his neighbor, and once upon a time Mose’s mom and his mom had been the best of friends. But that was before his dad had walked out and everything had fallen apart.
Ezra had managed, he had moved on, but at times like this he felt as separated from them as he had the day his father had walked out the door.
“Does that really matter?”
The three men looked at each other, then turned back to him. “There’s a reason we have two religions.”
That had to be one of the dumbest things Ezra had ever heard anyone say. But he had no rebuttal. He gave them a curt nod and started for the door. They were fine, but Sadie needed him.
He pushed the door to the gym open so hard it hit the wall behind and snapped back. Sadie jumped, and he immediately regretted the action. He couldn’t remember being this mad ever in his life, not even when her friends had questioned him at the bowling alley. These were his friends. How dare they? Some people had a lot of gall.
“Are you ready to go?” Ezra asked. He did his best to make his voice sound calm and collected when inside he was anything but. His emotions churned like an angry storm. What was wrong with everybody?
“Jah.”
The last time she had corrected herself and said yes, but this time she left it in the Pennsylvania Dutch. It was a start, as far as he was concerned. He didn’t want her changing for him.
He walked back out to the truck. “Do you want some Tylenol? I think there’s some in the glove box.”
“That would be good,” Sadie said. “My head is really hurting.”
Ezra looked around the cab of t
he truck. Usually there was a stray water bottle hiding out somewhere, but he didn’t see anything. He started the truck and put it into reverse. “Hold on a second. I’ll get you to a store. You can get something to drink and take some then, okay?”
“That’d be great.”
He found a Love’s Country Store, one of his favorites. They were a little smaller than some of the other convenience stores in the area, but they made good sandwiches and had a place for people to sit inside the building and relax for a few minutes. Right now, relaxing was something he and Sadie desperately needed.
He led Sadie over to the booths that sat near the front windows of the store so she could watch the traffic drive by. He got them both a Coke and a chicken Italiano sandwich.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” He took her hand into his, hoping the gesture gave her strength and confidence. He had a feeling she needed it.
“There’s really not a lot to say.”
Ezra released her hand and took a bite of his sandwich. “I think there’s probably a lot to say. But I don’t think you want to say it, and I don’t know why.”
Sadie picked up her sandwich and started to eat as well. Maybe if they got some food they would feel better....
She popped the pills into her mouth and uncapped her drink, taking a long swig before she spoke again. “Thank you. That was really sweet of you.”
To his dismay, tears welled in those hazel eyes once more.
He reached across the table, squeezing her fingers in his own. “Don’t cry.”
“Give me a minute, okay?”
“Okay,” Ezra said. “As long as you know I’m here for you.”
Sadie nodded, but she was about to cry again, so Ezra looked away. He thought that might be best.
Girls were such a mystery to him. He’d spent most of his life around girls of another sort, bison and deer, bovine and ostriches, and all the other creatures on the ranch. But not the ones like the one seated across from him. He really didn’t know what to do with them. Maybe once upon a time he thought he did, but now he was so out of practice he felt like he was playing a different game.
“Do you feel better?”
“Jah. I think I’ll be all right.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened in the bathroom?”
“It doesn’t matter really.”
“If it makes you cry, then it definitely matters.” That possessive streak in him rose to the surface. Anything to do with her mattered. But how could he tell her that? Would she even understand something he didn’t understand himself?
“There were some girls in there.” Sadie looked away, out the window at the cars passing by.
“What girls?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I didn’t see their faces.”
“So what happened?”
She shrugged. “I heard them talking is all. They couldn’t believe you brought me to play volleyball.”
Never in his life had Ezra wanted to smash something like he did in that moment. “Don’t worry about those girls. They don’t matter.”
“How can they not? Your mother doesn’t want us together. My mother doesn’t want us together. Your friends don’t want us together, and my friends don’t think we should be together. Why is the whole world against us?”
Ezra sighed. “I don’t know that. But I do know one thing.”
“And what is that?”
“The decision is ours. This is our life. And the more I get to know you, the more I want to get to know you and the more time I want to spend with you. I don’t care what anybody says. Not my mother, not my cousin or those girls in the bathroom. There’s only one thing that matters. And that’s what you want.”
Chapter Thirteen
Sadie could hardly believe her ears. “You mean that?” Never in her life had she felt as special as she did in that moment. Maybe because Ezra was willing to go against everyone he knew to be with her, and yet Chris was dropping everything he knew to get away. She shook her head. Now was not the time to be worried about Chris Flaud.
“More than I’ve meant anything in my life.”
She pulled her gaze from his and stared down at her half-eaten sandwich. It was the best thing she had ever eaten and yet it tasted like sawdust. Not sure what that meant, she shook her head again, then lifted her chin to meet his gaze once more. “So what do we do?”
He thought about it a minute. “If we can’t hang out with your friends in Wells Landing and we can’t hang out with my friends in Taylor Creek, then let’s go somewhere we can hang out alone.”
Sadie’s heart jumped at the thought of being alone with Ezra. The implications, the temptations. Everything about it was wrong and yet right all at the same time.
“Let’s go to Pryor and get something to eat next week. Just the two of us. No hanging out with friends on either side, no hanging out with family. Nothing. Just us.”
Her tears threatened again. Maybe she was overtired from getting hit in the face and being talked about behind her back, or maybe the whole conversation was making her a bit fragile. But she would like nothing more than what he just said. Her and him alone, without outside forces pulling at them. Pryor wasn’t far from either town. In fact, it was the next big town over, the place they took Daniel to the doctor when he needed to go. Pryor was close enough to Wells Landing and Taylor Creek not to raise eyebrows as she walked in with her black mourning dress and her prayer kapp, and surely not close enough to either one that anyone would care if a Mennonite guy and an Amish girl were having dinner together.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I’d like that more than anything.”
* * *
They finished eating and got back in the truck. All too soon Ezra was pulling down the road that led to her house.
“How are you going to explain . . .” He gestured around his face, indicating the injury to her nose.
Sadie shrugged. “I don’t know. Tell them the truth, I guess.”
It seemed as if there were going to be a lot of white lies in her future if she and Ezra started sneaking around. It’d be better to tell the truth now and in any instance she could.
“I’ll tell them I got hit in the face with the volleyball.” They didn’t need to know any more than that. When they found out she had an injury, everyone would fuss over her and that would be that.
Ezra nodded.
They drove in silence a bit, then he turned, casting a quick glance in her direction. “I’m glad you came with me tonight.”
Despite everything, she was glad she came with him too. He pulled up in front of her house and left the engine running. “What time next week?” he asked.
“I have Thursday night off from the restaurant.”
“Isn’t that your bowling night?”
“Well, not really. I mean, I would rather eat dinner with you than go bowling with them.” She didn’t have anyone else to bowl with except for Ezra. Maybe she should let Chris have that slot. He could take who he wanted to. But she knew he wouldn’t take anyone. She’d let the couples worry about that.
Ezra nodded. “I’ll see you Thursday, then?”
Sadie nodded in return. What was next? Would he kiss her again like he did on the way to volleyball? It was something she both anticipated and dreaded.
She waited to see what would happen. But he only reached out a hand and ran his thumb across her cheekbone. “I’ll see you then.”
Sadie tried not to be disappointed as she slipped from the cab of his truck. She walked up to the porch knowing he was watching to make sure she was safe. When she reached the door, she heard him put the truck in gear and back out of the driveway. She stood there and watched him go, wondering why he hadn’t kissed her again.
* * *
Sunday afternoon Melanie came by for a visit. Luckily their two church districts held their services on the same Sunday, so she was off when they were off and they could visit together. Otherwise Sadie wondered when she would ever see her sister. She c
ould understand Lorie’s infrequent visits, seeing as she lived in the Englisch world and miles away. Melanie lived on the other side of the district.
They settled down in the living room. The day was overcast and looked like it might snow. But Sadie had heard the old-timers talk about it yesterday at the restaurant, and it was supposed to be cloudy for a couple more days and then clear up after that.
“I’m glad you came out today,” Sadie said.
Melanie frowned. “I hear you’ve been seeing Ezra Hein.”
The statement took Sadie aback, but at least Melanie used his name and didn’t call him “that Mennonite boy.”
“Maybe,” Sadie muttered. It was no secret. Melanie had even gone bowling with them the one time. But everything else had been either out in the open or in Taylor Creek. She still had four more days before they went on their date in Pryor.
“Sadie, I know you’re upset about Chris. But going out with a Mennonite boy to make him jealous is not a good idea. This can backfire on you.”
Sadie bit back the harsh words that sprang to her tongue. Her sister had no idea, no idea about the situation with Chris. She had already told Lorie, but that was different, Lorie didn’t live in town. She didn’t talk in the sewing circles and gossip after church and everything else that the Amish tended to do to spread around the “news.” If she told Melanie, it would surely get back to Chris and Johnny and maybe even their brother Joshua.
No, as bad as it spited her, she had to keep this to herself.
“I’m not dating him to make Chris jealous. I’ve gone out with him a couple times because I like him.”
“He’s a Mennonite.” Melanie said the words clearly, pronouncing each syllable as if it were a word in itself.
“I’m aware. But what’s wrong with that?”
Melanie sat back. “We’re different. That’s all. You know that. We don’t go to church the same. We don’t dress the same. They drive around in cars.”
“Everyone around here drives around on tractors. They both have rubber wheels and both could take a person anywhere they wanted to go. Why is it so terrible to drive a car instead of a tractor?”