Just Plain Sadie

by Amy Lillard

  His eyes fluttered open, and he appeared to be in some type of daze. Surely he hadn’t been asleep, not with what just happened. He blinked a couple of times as if to clear his thoughts.

  “Sadie?” The word was tentative, unsure and testing.

  She nodded, and the gesture seemed to put him into motion once more.

  He gathered her in his arms and held her close.

  “Shush,” she said, trying to calm him.

  Deep sobs racked his body, and his hot tears burned her neck as he held her as if she was the lifeline to the world.

  Sadie couldn’t stop her own tears. But more than anything, she let Chris cry it out. She simply held him while he sobbed, uncaring about the staring eyes and frowns they received.

  After a few moments, he pulled himself together and pulled away.

  Sadie wiped one hand against his face, whisking away the last of his tears. “What happened?”

  “It’s all my fault. If I’d been helping him . . .”

  Sadie shook her head. “You can’t blame yourself.” She said the words even though she didn’t know the entire story. Whatever happened, she couldn’t believe that Chris was to blame. He loved his brother more than anything and would have done everything in his power to keep him safe.

  Chris recounted the tale of how Johnny had climbed up onto the barn to repair the roof. How the dogs had unsettled Johnny’s ladder and he fell to the ground.

  “Where is he?” She said the words as gently as possible. No one in Wells Landing knew exactly what had happened or how Johnny was. She had grabbed the first person she knew who had a car, demanded and begged they take her to Pryor to be with Chris, instinctively knowing he needed her now more than ever.

  “They took him in a helicopter to Tulsa.” Chris squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “But I don’t know what good it will do.”

  Sadie squeezed his hands. “Don’t say that.”

  “He was bad, Sadie. He was out for a while. Then he kept saying ‘I can’t move. I can’t move.’” Chris’s tears started again. “It’s all my fault.”

  Sadie squeezed his hands tighter. “Quit saying that. There was nothing you could have done to make this different.”

  “I don’t know what I’ll do, Sadie. I don’t know what I’ll do if he dies.”

  * * *

  Sadie managed to talk Chris into going back to Wells Landing with her. His parents had taken a driver to Tulsa to follow Johnny to the hospital there.

  Sadie didn’t bother to ask if Chris had left the hospital at all; his shock and grief was enough of an answer.

  He was uncharacteristically quiet all the way back to town. He leaned against the door and stared out the window, watching the world pass by.

  Sadie directed the driver to take them out to the Flaud farm. From there, she should find somebody to come and stay with Chris so he wouldn’t have to be alone.

  She managed to get Chris into the house and seated at the kitchen table, though he still appeared to be in deep shock.

  She made a couple cups of coffee though she knew he wouldn’t drink it, then set out to the barn and the phone the Flauds had there to find someone to stay with him.

  She made several calls, left messages, then decided to ring Abe Fitch’s furniture store.

  Andrew Fitch answered on the second ring.

  “Andrew,” Sadie started. “There’s been an accident. Johnny Flaud fell. I don’t know how bad he is. They’ve taken him to Tulsa. His parents went with him, but Chris is here by himself.”

  “I’ll be right there,” Andrew said without wavering. She didn’t even have to ask. That was the kind of person Andrew Fitch was. Two little kids at home, and he was willing to drop everything and help out a friend.

  “Thank you so much, Andrew. I would stay but . . .” She didn’t bother to finish. Andrew knew how inappropriate it would be for her to stay with Chris past dark alone in his parents’ house.

  “You’ll stay until I get there?” Andrew asked.

  “Of course,” Sadie said. “I’ll see you in a few.” She hung up the phone and headed back into the house.

  * * *

  She wasn’t even sure if Chris knew that she had left. Other than the first initial reaction he had when she’d seen him in the hospital, he appeared stoic and in some sort of weird trance. She knew that eventually he would get back to being closer to the Chris she knew, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t happen until after he knew that his brother was okay.

  Sadie called the restaurant to talk to Cora Ann, who promised to call Melanie to come out and get her, but she would only leave after Andrew promised to let her know as soon as they got word on Johnny.

  Lord, please . . . she started, but the words for her prayer wouldn’t come. Just please.

  God knew they were hurting. He knew who needed help. She trusted that even without a full prayer, He would see them all through.

  Amen, she said, hoping her words hit their mark. One thing was certain, Johnny and his family were going to need all the prayers that they could get.

  * * *

  Sadie knocked on the door of the Flaud house the very next day. It was Thursday, and she was off from the restaurant, but she wasn’t sure what was worse: sitting at home waiting for word about Johnny or being at work and worrying about the same thing.

  She packed up a basket of bread and headed over to check on Chris and Andrew. She scanned the front room looking for him.

  Andrew shook his head. “He’s still in bed. I can’t get him out. I figure he’ll probably come around in a bit.”

  “That’s not acceptable,” Sadie said. “I’ll call Lorie. Maybe she can help us find out something quicker.” If she remembered right, Zach Calhoun’s sister was a trauma nurse. They had explained that she helped people who had traumatic injuries. What was more traumatic than falling off the barn?

  “Can you stay a bit longer?” she asked Andrew. “I’ll go out to the barn and call to see what I can find out about Johnny.”

  Andrew shook his head and fished his cell phone out of his pants pocket. “Let me call Danny to come get me,” he said, referring to his cousin who helped him at the furniture store. “Then you can keep my phone. That way you don’t have to keep running back out to the barn.”

  Foolish tears rose into Sadie’s eyes, but she blinked them back. “Thank you so much, Andrew.”

  He shook his head again as if it was nothing, then made the call to his cousin.

  It took four calls, but Sadie finally found out that Johnny was in stable condition. She had to ask and make sure that it was a good thing, but Zach’s sister, Ashtyn, assured her that it was better than a lot of the people they had treated that very same night.

  They would have to do some more testing to find out the extent of Johnny’s paralysis, but it was widely thought among the doctors and nurses who had treated him the night before that the fall would definitely leave its mark on him.

  Sadie thanked Ashtyn, then ended the call. Despite the bold and forward action, she headed up the stairs to Chris’s bedroom. She knocked on the door and waited a moment for some type of response. Getting none, she eased her way in, hesitantly glancing around to make sure that it was okay for her to continue into the room.

  Sometime between when Andrew had checked on Chris and now, he had managed to get up and get dressed. Sadie hadn’t thought to ask about the farm chores, but she was sure Andrew had taken care of most of those for Chris. Still, him being up and dressed was at least a baby step in the right direction.

  “Chris?” She eased into the room. “I just got off the phone with the hospital. Johnny’s going to be okay. He’s stable. They said that was good.”

  Her words appeared to hit some chord within him. He looked up. “He’s going to be okay?”

  “Jah.”

  “Can he move now?” The haunted look in Chris’s eyes was nearly her undoing.

  “They don’t know yet. It’ll be awhile. They explained it to me, but I didn’t unde
rstand all of it. As best as I can tell, when a person falls it can take the body awhile to recover and for any lasting injuries to turn up. But for now he’s alive and safe, and he’s not in any pain.”

  “It’s all my fault, Sadie.”

  “Would you stop saying that?”

  Chris shook his head. “You don’t understand. I hate this farm. I hate everything about it, and all I wanted to do was leave. This is God’s way of punishing me.”

  Sadie sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s not true. God wouldn’t give you those dreams, then punish you for having them.”

  “What if my dreams aren’t of God?”

  “Chris! Would you listen to yourself? This was an accident. God’s not trying to punish you. The devil has not taken over your life. It was merely an accident.”

  “I wish I could be that certain.”

  Sadie reached out and grabbed his hand, tugging him reluctantly to his feet. “Come on,” she said. “You can’t stay in here all day. The last thing your brother would want would be for you to hide yourself away.”

  * * *

  Chris swung himself down from his buggy and took a deep breath. The bishop’s house. This was the first step.

  His heart had almost stopped in his chest when they told him that his brother would most likely be paralyzed from the neck down. Over time, he might gain back some of the use of his arms, but most likely his legs would never work again.

  No matter how many times Sadie told him that the accident was an accident and that it was not his fault, he found it next to impossible to believe her. God had to be punishing him for wanting to get away from the farm and leave Johnny behind. No matter what Sadie said, he couldn’t help but believe that it was true.

  One thing was certain. He couldn’t go to Europe now. He had to stay and run his brother’s beloved farm. He had to carry on for his father. He couldn’t spend a dime on anything other than his brother’s treatment.

  Stiff-legged, he made his way across the yard and up the porch steps. He rapped on the door twice, feeling the formality of the summons was just another part of this occasion.

  Helen Ebersol opened the door. Chris had always liked Helen. He’d heard many people complain about the bishop and the bishop’s wife in their district, but he had no problems with his. They were fair and kind, and right now, that was exactly what he needed.

  “Is the bishop home?”

  Helen nodded, then stepped back as if she had known he was coming all along.

  Chris moved into the room, his eyes adjusting from the sun to the dim interior of the house.

  “I’ll go get him for you.”

  A few moments later, the bishop stepped from the kitchen. He gave a small nod to Chris as he motioned toward the sofa behind him. “Why don’t you sit down, Chris Flaud? I’ve been expecting you.”

  Chris nodded and sat down, though he felt as if he wanted to pop right back up as soon as his legs touched the sofa. Instead, he managed to take a breath and ease himself back into the cushions.

  “I wanted to say that I’m ready for baptism classes.”

  The bishop raised one eyebrow in question. “I thought we had already discussed this.”

  Chris nodded. “We had. But now I’m really ready.”

  To the bishop’s credit, he didn’t make Chris explain. Chris had come here on bended knee, so to speak, needing forgiveness and redemption. The bishop was not going to make him beg for it.

  “Easter comes late this year. Classes start in about five weeks.”

  Chris stood and reached out to shake the bishop’s hand. “I’ll be there.”

  * * *

  “Sadie, the phone’s for you.”

  “Thanks.” She stepped behind the waitress station and pushed the flashing button at the bottom of the multiline phone. “Hello?”

  “So you are still alive?” Ezra’s voice held a note of laughter. But she could hear the buried confusion in there as well.

  “It’s been kind of hectic around here the last few days.” It had been six days since Johnny Flaud had taken his tumble from the top of their barn. He was still in the hospital in Tulsa and would be for a couple more weeks. When he got home, things would never be the same.

  Sadie had spent nearly every minute she could over at the Flauds’ trying to help out. She had cleaned the house from top to bottom, baked bread and cookies, and put as many things as she could into their propane-cooled freezer.

  In general, she made sure Chris ate each day, got up and got dressed, and managed to take care of any of the farm chores. He had male help as well. Elam Riehl, Jonah Miller, and Andrew Fitch and his cousin Danny came out in the rotation, each helping as much as they could, spending the night with Chris to keep him from being alone until his parents came back from the hospital.

  “So it’s true?” Ezra asked.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I heard that a boy fell off the roof there in Wells Landing. Also heard that he was your boyfriend’s brother.”

  “I wouldn’t call him that. We’re friends, you know? I’ve been trying to help out there. They’re not sure that Johnny will be able to walk again. He may not even be able to use his arms.”

  “I don’t have the words to say how sorry I am to hear that.” She could tell by the tone of his voice that Ezra was being completely sincere.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Sadie said. “Just pray for him. And his family.”

  “You know I will.” From the other end of the line she heard Ezra clear his throat. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

  Sadie’s hand flew to where the little elephant necklace lay against her skin. She kept it tucked under her dress, not wanting to take it off for anything. She knew it was wrong to wear jewelry. But how could she expect Ezra to hold a compromise with her if she couldn’t compromise herself?

  “I’m not sure. It’s just that—” She broke off, unable to find the words.

  “You’ve been spending a lot of time over there.”

  She could hear the edge of jealousy in his voice. She wanted to tell him not to be worried. But that was not a very smart thing to say. He’d told her that he loved her and she’d told him that she loved him. Of course he was going to be worried to some degree that she was spending all of her time with someone else.

  “It’s the right thing to do. Chris and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. I can’t abandon him now when he needs me the most.”

  “I understand. I just wanted to spend some time with you. I know you’re off tomorrow. So . . . Never mind. Maybe next week?”

  She wanted to see him so badly, face-to-face and breathing in that wonderful smell that was Ezra. But she knew she couldn’t spend time with him, enjoying herself off to where no one could find her, when Chris needed her right now.

  “Please,” she asked. “Next week would be great.”

  “I’ll see you then,” he said. And then he was gone.

  * * *

  Tuesday was quickly becoming his favorite day. Chris stood up from the table and smiled as Sadie let herself into the house that morning. He was already up and dressed, and he had done the farm chores for the day. There wasn’t a whole bunch to do right now. But in another month it would be time to hit the field.

  Sadie’s eyes widened with surprise, and she smiled in return. “It’s good to see you out and about.”

  “I thought it was time.” Past time, he was sure. But he had to have time to grieve, to come to terms. His brother might not have died in the accident, but all of Chris’s dreams had. He needed time to adjust, to think, to replant, to get his mind ready for what he had to do and accept it.

  “Mamm called,” he continued.

  She faltered as she stepped across the living room. “Johnny?”

  Chris shook his head. “He’s fine. They think they’ll release him in a couple of weeks. But he’ll have to spend a lot of time in Pryor. For physical therapy and things like that. But Mamm and Dat are coming home today.”

 
“That’s wonderful news.”

  It was. And it was one more step toward the end of the tragedy and the normalcy that they all needed to regain in their lives. Everything would settle to a new normal, and of that he hoped everyone could be accepting.

  “They should be home pretty soon,” Chris said. “Will you stay until they get here?”

  She nodded, that smile he loved so much working its way across her face. Today was going to be a big day. Bigger than she or his parents knew. But that was a surprise for later. For now he was sure Sadie would have something she wanted to do, darn Johnny’s socks or sew buttons back on his father’s shirt. She had worked nonstop in the days since the accident, trying to get everything in the house in order for his parents to come back home. He loved her all the more for it.

  “I love you, you know.” It was something that was always understood between them. And he felt now was the best time to say them again.

  She stopped unloading the grocery sack she’d brought in with her. She had grapes and oranges and all sorts of fresh vegetables that no one could get this time of year unless they bought them at a grocery store.

  “Oh, Chris,” she said with a small shake of her head. His heart stuttered a beat and went back into its normal rhythm. “I love you too.”

  * * *

  Four hours later he heard the car door slam outside and knew that his parents had come home. He turned to find Sadie watching him. He nodded. Everything was going to be okay. He had come to terms with the changes the accident brought in his life. They weren’t anything compared to the changes that Johnny would suffer. So Chris would accept those changes with happiness and grace.

  Still, his mouth turned to ash as he watched Sadie cross to the front door and open it.

  She stepped out onto the porch and waved. “Welcome home!” she called, continuing her greeting.

  He could hear the muffled voices of his parents and the Mennonite driver who had brought them home from Tulsa. But he couldn’t make out any of the words they were actually saying.

  It was probably not important anyway. More than likely the words were those of greeting and how are you doing, what are you doing here, thank you for staying, and all the other niceties that people said when they found themselves in a situation such as they had found themselves in today.