To Love a Man
Page 11
“Marry me, today and every day, marry me—”
But it was too much for Elise – to have him singing the words she would, at one point in her life, one excruciatingly happy point – have given anything to hear him say for real.
Cal saw the shutter come down over her face, saw the tears fill her eyes as she took one step, then another away from him, out of his arms, then lifted her skirt, turned and ran off the dance floor, headed for her room.
He dashed after her, and there were murmurs and exclamations throughout the room and he thought he heard Brad calling to him, but he ignored them. He ignored them all, and sprinted after her as if his life depended on it.
And it most definitely did.
He was a runner, with legs practically twice as long as hers, and he got there just as she tried to shove the door shut – on his foot, and he could hear her sobbing her heart out as she banged it against his leather shod appendage over and over again.
But he never considered moving it. If he did he knew he’d have to give up, and he wasn’t about to do that.
Even if she spit on him, even if she stabbed him or literally gutted him, he wouldn’t stop. He had to try again, had to prostrate himself in front of her, to completely unman himself, if necessary, to try one last time before he resigned himself to a life without her.
If he couldn’t win her back now, he’d leave her alone. He’d stop pseudo-stalking her. He’d stop going to a restaurant he didn’t like just hoping for a glimpse of her.
He’d stop hoping for a miracle.
She was behind the door, so when he pushed it open, he did it carefully, not wanting to hurt her.
“Is she all right?” a voice asked from behind him. He thought it was Ashley’s mother.
“Yes, she’ll be fine. She’s just a little upset by the song.” He sighed. “And by me.”
The older woman smiled at him and turned around to head back to her daughter’s party.
Cal pushed his way in and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it and just looking at her. She was sobbing her heart out, and he wasn’t sure – in his mind – just what he should do.
His body, however, had no such uncertainties, and he stalked over to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her gently but firmly, not allowing her to get away until she surrendered to him for the second time in only a few minutes.
He had to think that was a good thing.
Suddenly he had a thought, though, and stepped a bit back from her, still holding her wrist but already beginning to unbutton the shirt of his tux, doffing his coat quickly and stripping down faster than he’d ever in his life.
He knew what she was thinking – she’d already begun to back away from him – but that wasn’t it. “Please don’t go,” he whispered, standing before her – naked as the day he was born, and put his hands behind him and then began speaking, and Ellie could hear the anguish in his voice.
“I’ve hurt you, I know. Terribly. Multiple times.” His voice broke and he looked down for a moment, then right back up at her, tears shining in his eyes, his voice hoarse as he continued. “And I also know there’s nothing I will ever, ever be able to do to make up for it. Please just know that I will carry my guilt for the way I’ve treated you to my grave.” He placed his hand solemnly over his heart. “But I stand before you – naked and vulnerable. I won’t defend myself in any way. Do your worst.” His smile was small, humble. “I’m not stupid enough to think that this will make everything okay between us, but no one and nothing can stop me from hoping that it might be the first, small step.”
She stood stock still before him, tears streaming down her face, her hand over her mouth in shock.
“Go on. Don’t be shy. Slap me. Kick me. Punch me in the dick.”
Ellie’s eyes were involuntarily drawn downward to where he stood at full, glorious attention, and she couldn’t imagine why he’d think she’d ever want to punch or hurt something so inherently beautiful.
Instead – her mind crying out that she was an idiot the entire time – she walked up to him and put her arms around him, grabbing his and putting them around her. “Hug me. Hug me tightly, please.”
Cal did exactly what she asked and nothing more, not daring to believe she was voluntarily in his arms.
And then he heard her sobbing, saw how her face was buried in her hands and then against his chest and he began to rub her back and kiss her hair, continuing to just hold her.
When her sobs began to subside was when her anger at him came to the forefront, and as she was pummeling him with her fists, he opened his arms, giving her more freedom to get some good punches in.
But she didn’t take advantage at all, and the spate of fury didn’t last very long before she literally collapsed into him.
He lifted her into his arms and brought her into her room, laying her down and sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands itching to reach under that butt ugly dress and pull her panties down so that he could take her as his.
However, he knew that he still didn’t have that right, but he’d happily spend the rest of his life trying to earn it back from her, if she’d let him.
And that was, essentially, exactly what he’d said to her, pressing his forehead to hers and whispering, “I’d offer you stuff – stocks and bonds and money and whatever – in compensation, but I know from experience that you’ll turn it down.”
She nodded.
“So, I think the only thing I can offer you is the part of me that’s worth the least, that’s the most worthless to you – my heart, to do with as you please.”
Ellie surprised him by smiling up at him and asking, “Is your dick attached to your heart in any way?” making him chuckle when there were tears trailing down his cheeks.
He made love to her slowly, reverently, not holding anything back, making her fall apart in his arms then putting her back together, only to do it again.
When they were spooning afterwards, he whispered into her ear, “You know I meant what I was singing. I want you to marry me. I’ll wait, but that’ll always be what I want, until you’re finally and completely mine.”
Ellie turned towards him and smiled. “I think after a few more decades of groveling at my feet, that might be arranged.”
Cal growled against her mouth, knowing that if that was what it took, then that was exactly what he’d do for her.
The End
Carolyn Faulkner
The words “spanking” and “discipline” have always sent a shiver up Carolyn Faulkner's spine.
She knows she's not alone.
Writing started as a way to explore her feelings. Soon short stories flowed from her pen featuring reluctant heroes taking the leading lady in hand, but always for her own good.
Today Carolyn is the author of dozens of books. She writes from her home in Maine, where she lives with her husband and leading man.
You can read an interview with Carolyn here:
http://www.blushingbooks.com/blog/?p=175
You may check out her website while it’s under construction here:
http://www.carolynfaulkner.com
Don’t miss these exciting titles by Carolyn Faulkner and Blushing Books!
Series books:
Adored series:
Adored
Tessa’s Wedding
Priceless Love trilogy:
Priceless
Love’s Possession
Thornton Brothers trilogy
AJ’s Hope
Thornton’s Desire
Thornton’s Wish
Single Titles:
Spoils of War
Sinful
Etta’s Surrender
Her Secret Submission
Make Me
Let Me In
A Christmas Holiday to Remember
A New Year's Eve to Remember
The Pleasure of Their Souls
'Til Death Do Us Part
Strictland Academy: The Darkness Series, Book One
Emm
a’s Corner: The Darkness Series, Book Two
Promises Kept
Rod of Correction
The Obedient Wife
Old enough to Know Better
To Trust Her Heart
Naughty Girls: Brynn and Kim
Taken By Force
Against Her Will
Dangerous Love
After Hours: A Medical BDSM fantasy
Droit de Seigneur
Skye’s Submission
The Sister and the Sinner
Dutch and the Cowboy
Under the Lash
The Rogue and the Rose
Submissive Bride
A Good Man
The Unrequited Dom
Griff’s Christmas Angel
Three’s Company
Generation Stables
All Hallow’s Eve
The MacNaughton Bride
Vlad’s Story
Two True Loves
Tria
The Reluctant Bride
Tears of a Vampire
Soulmates
Sheik’s Desire
Reject Ranch
Nola
More Than a Man
Man of Her Dreams
Love Will Find a Way
Jake Ryan’s Woman
His
Her Guardian Don
Fools Rush In
Everything Gained
Embraced
Depths of Desire
Body and Soul
Blood From a Stone
Angel of Sudden Hill
All of Her
A Piece of Heaven
Attentions Throbbing
Talus: A Demon’s Story
Sold!
The Centurion
The Little Miss
Submissive Desires
Kept
A Hard Man is Good to Find
The Spoils of War
Gilded Cage
Second Chances
Prima
Patriot Bride
’Til Death Do Us Part
The Boss of Her
Forever and Always
Tribute
Caged
Captured by Time (w/ Alta Hensley)
Boxed Sets:
Remembering the Holidays, Two Book Set
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