Double Exposure

by Michael Lister

  —Let’s go, he says, pointing toward the river with the revolver.

  Walking.

  Shuffling.

  Limping.

  —That’s four shots, Gauge says.

  —Huh?

  —Four shots. One in my leg. Two misses. One in Arlington’s face. You shot the poor bastard in the face. Reckon that’ll be a closed casket service. Anyway, that’s four rounds. Snub-nose like that holds five, so if it was full to begin with, you only have one shot left.

  —It was, and one is all I need.

  The river.

  All roads have led here.

  It is both destiny and journey.

  He recalls bits of Emerson’s poem, “The River.” His mom had made him memorize it, telling him everyone who lives on or near a river should, and he does now what he didn’t as a child. He thanks her.

  And I behold once more

  My old familiar haunts; here the blue river,

  The same blue wonder that my infant eye

  Admired, sage doubting whence the traveler came—

  Whence brought his sunny bubbles ere he washed …

  Here is the rock where, yet a simple child,

  I caught with bended pin my earliest fish,

  Much triumphing,—and these the fields

  Over whose flowers I chased the butterfly …

  Me many a sigh. Oh, call not Nature dumb;

  These trees and stones are audible to me,

  These idle flowers, that tremble in the wind,

  I understand their faery syllables,

  And all their sad significance. The wind …

  I feel as I were welcome to these trees

  After long months of weary wandering,

  Acknowledged by their hospitable boughs;

  They know me as their son, for side by side,

  They were coeval with my ancestors,

  Adorned with them my country’s primitive times,

  And soon may give my dust their funeral shade.

  As he searches the area for Tanner or any of the others that might still be out here, he gives thanks for the river, Emerson’s words still echoing through his head.

  —You’re here. You made it. Time to let me go.

  —We’re gonna leave here together.

  —Never gonna happen.

  —Me and my three guns beg to differ.

  —You’re gonna let me go. Just wait.

  Walking down the muddy bank to the river’s edge, Remington backs up against a cypress tree and pulls Gauge in front of him.

  Leaning against the tree, Remington lifts his right leg slightly to take the pressure off the wound.

  Just flag down a passing boat and get out of here. That’s all I have to do. Call the cops and an ambulance. I’m gonna make it. Get Gauge in custody. Check on mom. Get treated. Bring investigators back out here.

  Shooting pain.

  Gasp.

  —How long you think before you pass out from losin’ all that blood? Gauge asks.

  —You better hope a long time. I feel myself about to go, I’m gonna shoot you before I do.

  —Killer, you know I wish you only the very best, Gauge says with a smile. Always have.

  —You’re leaking a good bit of oil yourself.

  —Not even a quart low yet.

  Withdrawing the knife from his pocket, Remington opens the blade, turns slightly, and begins to carve MM into the bark of the tree.

  —Hell you doin’? Gauge asks.

  Remington doesn’t respond.

  —Who’s MM? That your girl?

  Remington shakes his head.

  —Then who?

  —Not who, what.

  —Then what?

  —Stands for Memento Mori.

  —For what?

  —Ancient Romans used to write it on everything.

  —What’s it mean?

  —Just a reminder.

  —Of what?

  —Mortality. It means remember that you’re mortal. Remember you’ll die.

  —We really need a reminder? Hard to forget out here today.

  Whine of an approaching boat motor. Sound of salvation.

  Remington scans the woods around him and down the banks beside him for any signs of Tanner or Donnie Paul. Sees none.

  —Help me flag the boat down, Remington says.

  —Gladly.

  —Try anything and I squeeze the trigger. Got no reason not to now.

  —I ain’t gonna try anything.

  As the boat draws closer, Remington nudges Gauge forward, and the two men step down to the water.

  —See if you can get their attention, Remington says. Gauge does as he’s told.

  Still a good ways away, the driver throttles down the engine and the boat slows, its bow angling toward them.

  —It’s almost as if they were looking for us, Gauge says with a smile.

  Remington’s stomach sinks.

  —Back up, he says.

  He does.

  Wrapping his arm around Gauge’s throat and pressing the gun against his temple, the two men resume their previous position in front of the large cypress tree.

  —Anything happens, Remington says, you die first.

  —Fine with me if we just stand here until you pass out or bleed to death, but you’re gonna let me go.

  —That you jumping up and down and waving your hands, big G? Tanner asks.

  Releasing his grip around Gauge’s throat, Remington removes the radio from his pocket.

  —Pull the boat up to the bank and get out or Gauge gets a bullet to the head.

  —Almost there.

  A good bit bigger than Mother Earth’s boat, Tanner stands behind a windshield and steers the boat ashore. As the bow touches the bank, Tanner cuts the engine, opens the center section of glass, and steps through it into the front part of the boat.

  When he squats down to lift something from the bottom of the boat, Remington thumbs back the hammer.

  —What’re you doin’? Remington says. Get up.

  —Wait for it, Gauge says.

  —Don’t shoot, Tanner says. Just gettin’ somethin’ you need to see.

  In another moment, Tanner is helping Caroline James up, her frail body looking even more vulnerable out here. As if a mirror reflection of Remington and Gauge, Tanner holds Caroline in front of himself and points a gun to her head.

  —Mom, Remington says in that way that only a child speaking to his mother can.

  —Told ya you’d let me go, Gauge says.

  —Remington, are you all right?

  His mom is still in her pink pajamas and robe.

  —Got your address from the truck, Gauge says.

  —I’m fine, Mom. You okay?

  —You gonna lie to your mother? Gauge whispers.

  —I’m okay, honey. Don’t worry about me. What’s all this about?

  —My camera trap took pictures of them killing a woman.

  —We’re not the only ones who’ve killed out here, Gauge says.

  There used to be more of us. Your son shot a man in the face just a few minutes ago.

  —That true?

  —Yes, ma’am.

  —I’m so sorry you had to do that, she says.

  —They weren’t none too happy about it neither, Gauge says.

  —That one’s got a smart mouth on him, doesn’t he?

  —Yes, ma’am.

  —Yeah. Yeah. I’m just a psychopathic smartass.

  Rustling leaves.

  Snapping twigs.

  Swishing grass and weeds.

  Donnie Paul steps out of the woods not far from the tree Remington is propped against.

  —He fuckin’ shot Arlington in the fuckin’ face. You see that?

  —I saw it, Gauge says. What took you so long?

  He looks at Remington.

  —I’ll have my rifle back now.

  —Not just now, Remington replies.

  —Honey, did you get anything before all this started?

 
; —Yes, ma’am. The most amazing shots of black bears and bats and fireflies. I can’t wait to show you.

  —I can’t wait to see them.

  —I know now this is what I’m supposed to do.

  —Well, you just keep on doing it. Don’t let anything stop you. Anything.

  Is she saying what I think she is? I can’t let her die.

  —Remington, look at me. Anything.

  —I hate to intrude on the last conversation between a mother and her son and all, but we’re standing here bleeding. I mean, for fuck sake. All Jesus said was Woman, behold thy son. You’d think you could be a little less verbose.

  —I love you, Mom.

  —That’s more like it, Gauge says.

  —I love you, honey.

  —I wish there could be a happy ending in this for us, but there’s just not one.

  —No there’s not.

  —They’re going to kill us either way.

  —I know.

  —But in one way, we can take a few of them with us, he says. She nods.

  Gauge shakes his head.

  —What’d I just say about being so verbose? Now look, you let me go and tell me where you hid the memory card, we’ll let your mom live. You have my word.

  —Your what?

  —You heard me. I don’t want to cap some old woman in her pink pajamas. But I will. And I’ll make it hurt like a son of a bitch if you don’t let me go right now and tell me where you hid the evidence.

  —Do it, his mom says.

  —Do it?

  —It. I’m so ready to see your dad again.

  —I can’t.

  —Of course he can’t, Gauge says. You’re asking him to kill his own mother.

  —He’s right, Remington says.

  —Look at how I live, she says. Well, not live, exist. Think about how much I miss your dad.

  She’s right, he thinks.

  —Don’t let him get away, she continues. Don’t take a chance on him leaving the swamp and killing again.

  —I told you, Gauge says, there’s no—

  With that, Remington squeezes the trigger and the left side of Gauge’s head explodes, spraying his final thoughts onto a nearby oak tree. Telegraphing.

  Slow motion.

  As if watching from outside himself.

  Dropping the empty handgun.

  Shoving Gauge’s empty body aside.

  Grabbing the rifle hanging on his right shoulder.

  Spinning.

  Flipping.

  Dropping.

  Aiming.

  Firing.

  One knee.

  From a crouching position, he aims for Tanner first, even though the other man comes up with a handgun and begins to rush him, firing as he does.

  Pop.

  Echo.

  Crack.

  Echo.

  Thump.

  Thwack.

  Crack.

  Echo.

  Boom.

  Echo.

  His mom’s still alive.

  He’s got a shot.

  Breathe.

  Aim.

  Thank you, Dad, for teaching me how to shoot.

  Squeeze don’t pull.

  Fire.

  But before he can, one of Donnie Paul’s running rounds finds him, shattering the bone of his right elbow.

  Ignore the pain.

  Take the shot.

  Save your mom.

  Cole’s voice. You can do it.

  Now.

  Take the shot.

  He does.

  Blood splatter on pink silk. Not her blood. Tanner crumples. Another round hits him. This one in the thigh. Excruciating pain.

  It takes all he can do, but he manages to turn toward Donnie Paul.

  Close now. Round after round. Semiautomatic. Empty. Eject. New clip. Several more rounds. Lots of shots. Donnie Paul, going for quantity of rounds over quality of shots. Playing the odds.

  Another one finds its mark.

  Remington’s chest explodes.

  Get off a shot.

  One last shot.

  Now.

  Now or never.

  If you don’t get him, he’ll kill your mother.

  Squeeze.

  Heart.

  Hole.

  Blood.

  Falling.

  Dead.

  Saved Mom.

  Dropping rifle.

  Death be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not …

  Falling over.

  Shock.

  Got Gauge.

  Saved Mom.

  Love Heather.

  Ready?

  Ready.

  Really?

  I really am. Don’t want to go, but not afraid.

  Numb.

  Nothing.

  Days pass.

  Then some more.

  Then some more.

  Heather holds the CuddeBack camera viewer as if a holy object, as if a reliquarium, as if it somehow houses Remington’s soul.

  Upon returning to his tree stand to check his scouting camera, Jefferson Lanier had discovered Remington’s recordings, retrieved the hidden memory card and turned everything over to FDLE. After transferring the video from Lanier’s Cuddeback unit, the agency had returned the camera to him. He had then taken it directly to Heather, making a gift of it to her.

  The gift, Remington’s final words.

  Cheating death. Like a message sent back in time from beyond the grave.

  How many times has she watched the messages? Hundreds? Thousands? She’s not sure. She no longer needs to watch it. She has every word, every pause, every breath, every expression, every inflection etched in her brain, continually playing on the memory card viewer of her mind. When she’s awake, when she sleeps. But she watches it anyway. It gives her something to hold, a tactile bond, her hands where his hands had been, creates a stronger link, a more direct connection.

  Huddled in the corner, holding the camera away from himself with one hand, lighting himself with a flashlight with the other, he talks to her, his dry voice and weary face unwittingly revealing his pain, shock, fatigue, fear, but also his heroicism—is that a word?—and bravery.

  —My name is Remington James. My camera trap captured images of a game warden named Gauge killing a woman deep in the woods between William’s Lake and the Chipola River. She is buried not far from a watering hole on the back edge of the James hunting lease. Gauge and his friends are trying to kill me—probably succeeded if you’re watching this. I’m trying to make it to the river—either the Chipola or across Cutoff Island to the Apalachicola—to flag down a passing boat.

  He holds up a corner of the blanket.

  —I’ll hide the memory stick somewhere near an easily recognizable landmark—manmade, a tree stand like this one, a house boat, if I can find one—probably in the ground, and I’ll cut off a piece of this blanket to flag the spot.

  —I hope you find it. Hell, I hope I survive and can take you back to it, but … These are dangerous, soulless men who need to be stopped.

  Which is exactly what you did, she thinks.

  —Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t make it home last night—or at all, I guess, if you’re watching this. I really tried. But more than anything else, I’m sorry for letting you down. You entrusted me with your camera, you charged me with taking the pictures you no longer could, and I stopped. I let making money—money of all things—get in the way of what I was meant to do. You and Heather were right.

  —Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I realize that now and that I took some amazing shots tonight that I hope you somehow get to see. I really think you’ll like them. Sorry I didn’t bring you more, but I’m just glad I rediscovered what I was meant to do—even if I don’t make it out of here. A little late, but I did it.

  —You and Dad were the best parents any kid could have. Thanks for all you did for me—in spite of being sick and fighting so hard just to survive. I’m fighting hard to survive tonight. I lear
ned that from you.

  —I love you so much.

  —Dear sweet Heather, I’m so sorry for everything. You were right. I was wrong—about virtually everything, but especially how I had gotten off my path. See my message to Mom about that.

  —If I get through the night, it will be because of you. I can’t stop thinking of you. I love you so much. Everything about you. Everything. You’ve been with me tonight in ways you can’t imagine. I’m reliving our all-too-brief time together.

  —I took some extraordinary shots tonight, but my favorite photographs will always be the ones I took of you, my lovely, sweet, good, beautiful girl.

  —I’m sorry I wasn’t a better husband. You deserved me to be. Don’t mourn for me long. Find someone who will be as good to you as you deserve.

  —I finally love you like you should be, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to tell you in person. Tears.

  Thick voice.

  —Just know my final thoughts will be of you.

  Each time she cries as if hearing his words for the first time.

  Each time she caresses the camera and viewer, then holds them close to her heart.

  Spring.

  North Florida.

  Gallery.

  Hardwood floors. Squeaking.

  Hushed crowd. Awe. Reverence.

  Wine. Cheese.

  Opening night. Posthumous show.

  Last Night in the Woods by Remington James.

  Enormous prints. Framed photographs. Color.

  Incandescent.

  Luminous.

  Radiant rain.

  Arcing sparks.

  Falling drops of fire.

  Field of fireflies.

  Black and white.

  High contrast.

  Palmettos, hanging vines, fallen trees, untouched undergrowth, unspoiled woodlands.

  Bounding. Loping. Barreling.

  Black as nothingness.

  Buckskin muzzle bursting out of a forest of fur, chest ablaze.

  Shy eyes.

  Florida black bears.

  Looking up from a small slough, rivulets of water around large, sharp teeth, dripping, suspended in midair.

  Heather, teary. Caroline in a wheelchair at her side wiping tears of her own.

  —He could’ve lived a long life and never taken any shots better than these, Heather says.

  —I keep thinking about what Ansel Adams said, Caroline says. Sometimes I get to places when God is ready to have someone click the shutter.

  —Exactly, Heather says. That’s it exactly.

  They are quiet a moment, each looking around the large room at all the people who’ve come out to see Remington’s work.

  Every shot, every single one draws intense interest, but none more than the stunning, seemingly impossible images of the Florida panther captured by Remington’s second camera trap—the one discovered by two hunters a week after his death.