UNTamed: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  I had crashed a SUV just like the one Pres was driving. And I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. On my knees. Sideways.

  Pres looking at me.

  Not looking at the road.

  “What?” I asked him.

  “I want to show you something.”

  * * *

  Pres’s house was a palace.

  That was the only thought that came to mind.

  If there was a cliché picture of a rich town full of rich assholes who pretended to be friends but secretly hated each other, this house was it.

  It was tall, wide, and obnoxious.

  White and black, giant stone steps, the letter L plastered everywhere. Because everyone needed to know who lived here.

  “I hate this fucking place,” Pres said to me.

  “Thank god,” I said.

  “My father insisted upon it. The biggest house in town. He overpaid for it. Slowly redid all the rooms and the outside. Want to know something sad?”

  “Try me, Pres.”

  “I don’t think the three of us have been to every room in the house,” he said.

  “What?”

  “Think about that.”

  “You didn’t explore the house as a kid?”

  Pres laughed. “My life wasn’t like yours, sugar.”

  “Oh, and I lived in a mansion? And I just roamed the hallways?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Well, you’re right. It’s sad. This house is sad. It looks sad.”

  “Exactly,” Pres said. “I’d leave right now. I could. I have other places.”

  “Places?”

  “Told you, sugar, a lot was handed to me,” Pres said. “I take it seriously too. But to leave here? Can’t.”

  I nodded.

  “Come on,” Pres said. “Something else I want you to see.”

  He got out of the SUV and I followed him.

  There were cars everywhere. Black cars. Black SUVs. Two black limos.

  A man stood at the top of the stones steps, wearing a really fancy suit.

  He stared us down and waved at Pres.

  Pres shook his head.

  The driveway was like a parking lot. With greenery planted in random spots. Water fountains with statues of mythological men and creatures. This was the kind of place a man would buy to compensate for something being too small. Except if that were the case, then Pres got his something from another part of the family. Because Pres was… whoa.

  I heard the low rumble of an engine.

  A really angry and ready to go fast engine.

  Pres grabbed me by the hips and stopped me.

  A second later a blood red car appeared from what I assumed to be an underground garage. Which seemed impossible to have so close to the ocean.

  The car stopped and the window went down.

  Will.

  Pres’s father.

  I felt the tension between father and son.

  “Why don’t you grab the keys to the other one, son?” Will asked. “We’ll take them out for a ride.”

  “No, thanks,” Pres said.

  “Why not? Bring Tinsley.”

  I didn’t like that Will knew my name. And I hated that he was so casual about it. He was cheating on his wife with Claire. And others.

  “No, thanks,” Pres said again.

  “Your loss,” Will said.

  “Drive safe,” I said. “If you see Claire, tell her I’ll be home in a bit. That we need to talk.”

  Will hit the gas pedal and the car took off. Fast.

  Pres looked down at me. “Nice.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Asshole.”

  “Agreed.”

  Pres started to walk again.

  We walked along the side of the house and ended in a garden that made the one at BFH look like a pile of overgrown weeds.

  It was like stepping into another world.

  With a wide stone path, all kinds of flowers. The colors. The smells.

  So calm and peaceful.

  “This is beautiful,” I said.

  “Had it done for her,” Pres said.

  “Her?”

  Pres stopped and pointed.

  Just beyond the end of the garden, the stone path led to a pool. Beyond the pool was the ocean.

  Everything about the house and the positioning was deceiving.

  But right next to the pool was a large wheelchair.

  I could see the back of a woman’s head.

  Dark hair.

  Pres’s mother.

  I squeezed his hand tighter. “Pres…”

  “She loves it out here,” he said. “She loves to stare at the ocean. And come through the garden. The path used to be smaller but I had it all redone to fit her chair.”

  I looked down and it made sense why the stone path was so big.

  I sucked in a shaky breath and felt like I could cry.

  “Pres…”

  “Stop saying my name, sugar,” he said. “There’s nothing you can do or say. So don’t try. I just wanted you to see. She’s happy. As happy as she could be. She doesn’t want to leave here. Which is why I don’t leave. She’s also a bitch.”

  “What?” I yelled.

  Pres smiled. “A cold bitch. My father has tried so hard to get her out of here. So he could have the single life. She’s not stupid. She’s never shied away from what’s happened to her or what’s happening. She knows she’s going to die from this. And her last goodbye is to be here. In the way. And while my father was distracted by other women, she took everything she could from him and gave it to me. Including this house.”

  “You own this house?” I asked.

  Pres nodded. “And I told her I would keep it. And when she’s… gone… I’m going to kick my father out. I’m going to sell it. And all that money is going to be put to use. In my mother’s honor.”

  “That’s sweet and cold at the same time,” I said. “She’s… she’s my kind of bitch.”

  “Thought you’d like that,” Pres said.

  The wheelchair started to move.

  “I’m working on a way to build something to get her down to the ocean,” Pres said. “She’s going to love that.”

  I looked at Pres and blinked fast.

  In some way he had pieces of his mother and father in him. It was amazing to see. But it also made me shiver. Because I knew what he was capable of. I knew what his parents were capable of.

  And my heart was just dangling out there on a thin string.

  Either to be grabbed by Pres and protected. Or the thin string cut and my heart would fall in the ocean. Into shark infested waters.

  Yet it was all still worth it.

  “I know your life is crazy and shit, sugar,” Pres said. “Your mother with the drugs and rehab. Your father living right here. And even with Claire. I just wanted you to see this and know the truth.”

  “And what truth is that, Pres?”

  “That every family is fucked up, sugar. Rich or poor. So don’t go by that.”

  “You’re just trying to convince me to stay with Claire.”

  “Is that so wrong?”

  “No,” I said.

  “And, hey,” Pres said as he stepped in front of me and touched my chin. “If you don’t want to live with Claire, I’ll get you somewhere to live.”

  “Only if I pay rent.”

  “Rent?” Pres asked. “The rates around these parts are expensive, sugar.”

  “I’m sure we could reach an agreement,” I said.

  Pres curled his lips. “Yeah. I bet we could make something work.”

  Pres kissed me in the garden.

  My heart fluttered like the wings of the butterlifes floating around us.

  I put my hands to his chest.

  I pushed him away.

  “I know, sugar,” he whispered. “I know.”

  I didn’t need to say anything.

  I had to fake what family I had left.

  * * *

  “You know I’m not going to lea
ve you, sugar, right?” Pres asked as he kissed my hand.

  “I know,” I said. “But you should. I don’t know what’s going to happen here.”

  Pres put the SUV into park and folded his arms.

  “Leave,” I said to him.

  “Make me,” he said.

  “Really?”

  “Really,” he said.

  “If I need anything, I’ll text you. I know you, Barr, and Kip were dealing with something. At the very least why don’t you call them and meet at the end of the driveway?”

  “I might be able to arrange that,” Pres said.

  “Arrange it or else,” I said.

  “You know, this whole side of you commanding me… it’s not going to work, sugar.”

  “Oh, I think it is,” I said.

  I jumped to my knees and leaned toward him and kissed his cheek.

  I got out of the SUV and waved at him.

  Pres curled his lip and shook his head as he started to drive away.

  I was feeling pretty damn good about myself… right up until I was halfway up the steps and I saw the front door open.

  Tucker came outside, Claire behind him.

  He was dressed like a bum.

  She was dressed like a queen.

  For some reason it was like seeing things clearer. Somehow clearer.

  Everything I had seen, went through… and heard… it almost made sense.

  Who Tucker was.

  Who Claire was.

  Tucker froze at the stop of the steps and waved to me. “You look great, Tinsley.”

  “You look like hell,” I said.

  “That I do,” he said. “Got a second for me?”

  I looked at Claire.

  She smiled and nodded.

  I swallowed hard. “One second. Sure.”

  Tucker charged down the steps. His arms started to flail. I thought he was going to fall. I turned and slowly climbed down the steps. To my shock he walked to a car that was way too expensive for the way he looked. A beautiful black and sleek car with tinted windows.

  He opened the passenger door and brought out a fresh dozen red roses.

  I gritted my teeth as he walked them to me.

  “For you,” he said. “I know you didn’t want the other ones. But I’m going to keep showing up with them.”

  I took the roses from him. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he said. He backed away. Then he stopped. “I don’t know where you go from fucking up so bad, Tinsley. Where the line is. I’m going to keep walking in the direction I think it’s at. If I miss the mark, I’ll turn and try again. And again. And again. I will never stop. And I will never expect love from you. But just to see you. Understand you. Realize how amazing you are. That’s good enough for me. I never did that with Kait. That was my fault. What happened to her will be with me for the rest of my life. I will never try to deflect that. And the roses? It’s just a little way for you to remember how special you are, Tinsley.”

  He turned and walked away.

  “Tucker, wait,” I said.

  I ran to catch up to him.

  He turned and wiped the corners of his eyes.

  I took a deep breath.

  I extended my hand.

  He looked at the roses, then at me.

  “Take them with you,” I said. “I don’t want them.”

  Tucker nodded and took the flowers from me.

  He placed them back into his car and that was that.

  I swallowed a giant lump in my throat but knew I had to do what was right.

  I walked back to the steps and Claire was still there.

  “Don’t say a thing,” I said to her.

  “I didn’t plan on it,” she said.

  “You and I need to talk.”

  “We do. But before that-”

  “No. Claire. No. I need answers. Right now.”

  “Right now,” Claire said. “I think you should-”

  “Tinsley!” a voice screeched.

  Claire stepped to the side.

  Mom came rushing through the front door.

  twenty-two

  twenty-two

  Mom cried. She hugged me. She jumped up and down. Her hair and boobs bouncing everywhere. She screamed. Hugged me again. Tried to pick me up but couldn’t.

  She smelled like cheap perfume and cigarette smoke.

  She had so many bracelets on her wrists she sounded like a wind chime.

  One of the bracelets got caught in my hair and she pulled it away fast.

  It hurt.

  She laughed.

  Then she cried again.

  Somehow in that first minute or two of craziness we managed to walk to the kitchen.

  Mom picked up a glass and showed it to me. “Just orange juice, Tinsley. Right, Claire? Tell her.”

  “Just orange juice,” Claire said.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked Mom.

  “I finished,” she said. “I did it. I really did it.”

  I looked at Claire.

  Her face was blank.

  I licked my lips. “Wow. That went by quick. It feels like just yesterday…”

  Mom sipped her orange juice and walked to me. “Tinsley. I’m so sorry.”

  “No, Mom…”

  “I have to,” she said. “I have to say it. I am so sorry. For what I did. What I was thinking. What I had planned.” She started to cry again. “I was going to end my life and leave my daughter to find me. What kind of monster does that?”

  I didn’t respond. There was nothing I could say to that.

  Mom sucked in a breath and sighed. “But here we are. Right?”

  “Right,” I said. “Wait. Tucker…”

  Mom rolled her eyes. “Blast from the past, right?”

  “You were talking to him?”

  “I wasn’t aware of this surprise either,” Claire said.

  I leaned against the counter. “You just got clean and came here to face the man who left you pregnant and alone.”

  “I’m okay, Tinsley,” Mom said. “I mean it. It was actually nice to talk to him. And it helped a little that he looks like shit. Old and shitty.”

  “That’s what I said,” I said.

  Mom grinned. “You’re just like me.”

  “Maybe,” I said.

  “Anabel, I have plenty of room here,” Claire said. “You know that. I can make some calls and we can arrange for meetings here. Anything you need.”

  Mom nodded and grinned bigger. “You know, I should have just let things happen the way they were meant to be. With the three of us. You were such a provider, Claire. And I took that the wrong way. I was jealous. I thought Tinsley was going to love you more than me.”

  “I always just wanted what was best for her,” Claire said.

  “I know that now,” Mom said. “I wish I saw it earlier in life. But we can’t go back. Only forward. Which is why I came here. To go forward.”

  “And we’re here to help,” Claire said.

  I eyed Claire. Piecing things together. If she was who I thought, she wanted my mother to be here? That seemed wrong. Backward. It seemed mean.

  “I need to help myself,” Mom said. “That’s why I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving?” I asked. “When?”

  “Now, Tinsley,” Mom said. She faced me and frowned. “Look at you. Look at who you’ve become. And you finally have a place to call home. A town. Friends. Guy friends. Right?”

  I nodded.

  Claire must have been telling stories that weren’t hers to tell.

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, part of me wants to hold you tight forever, Tinsley. Claire told me about the accident. I mean… obviously…”

  Mom laughed as she pointed to my face.

  There were some bruises and cuts.

  It sort of embarrassed me to have it pointed out.

  “But this is home for you,” she said. “This is more than I could ever give you. And I’m not jealous of that. This is your time. Your chance. I mean, whatever you
want in this world… it’s out there. Waiting. What am I going to do? Take you out of here? Go back to some crappy town? Get a crappy job? Struggle? Watch you struggle?”

  I swallowed hard. “What are you going to do then?”

  “I’m going to keep getting help, Tinsley,” Mom said. She turned so she could see both of us. “There’s this place… north of here. Way north of here. It’s almost like a retreat. But you get to be outside. You get to work outside. It’s something I feel I need to do. It’s for people like me. People in recovery. You kind of go back to the basics of life. Figure it out from there. Where I was… sure, that was great. I needed it. But it felt confined. This place… it’s open. It’s freedom. But not too much freedom. I feel strong enough to admit that. That I can’t handle true freedom. Yet.”

  “You need the money for it,” Claire said.

  I shut my eyes.

  This was a money visit.

  The hugs, kisses, tears, laughs… they were real. I believed that. But this was about money.

  And Claire had the money.

  Mom had the problem. And the need.

  And me - Tinsley freakin’ Ditkiss - was stuck in the middle of it all.

  “Of course, Anabel,” Claire said. She walked to Mom and touched her shoulder. “Anything you need. We want you happy. And we want you to have that full freedom. Whenever you’re ready for it.”

  Mom broke down into tears again.

  Claire hugged her.

  I forced myself to hug her.

  “I love you both so much,” Mom whispered.

  “We love you too,” Claire said.

  I was thankful Claire said it.

  Because I wasn’t going to say it.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt.

  About anything.

  Mom was getting herself help. She knew she needed to continue to get help.

  That was a good thing.

  That also meant BFH was officially home now.

  My real home.

  My only home.

  I looked at Claire.

  She looked at me.

  We were both hugging Mom still.

  Claire nodded.

  She knew we both needed to clear the air for good.

  * * *

  Claire had someone take one of her SUVs to drive Mom to this place that was way north. I didn’t ask questions because in a way I really didn’t want to know.

  My focus was on Claire.