“Yes,” he groans, pushing back impatiently.
I thrust forward an inch, breaching his pucker and feeling it tighten around me as he adjusts to the feeling. I lean over him, resting my forehead against the middle of his back as I hold still and wait for Jackson to be ready for more.
My heart is beating hard, my pulse echoing in my ears in time with our ragged breaths. I feel him relax around me, so I give him another inch, testing his reaction. When he doesn’t wince or tighten up again, I press forward until my hips are flush against his ass and my cock is buried deep inside him.
The tight heat of his channel surrounding me manages to feel different than I’ve ever felt before. Maybe it’s the desperate little noises he’s making, or the way he’s trying to hold still beneath me and failing. No part of this is a performance for anyone else, not even me. This is Jackson, completely undone by my fingers and tongue, taken apart by my cock.
And as I pull out, thrusting back in with a snap of my hips that makes Jackson gasp, I feel the freedom of not having to perform either. This is nothing but raw, unadulterated lust. This is nothing but Jackson and me.
I fuck him slowly, deliberately, in no hurry for this to end. Now that I’m actually fucking him, Jackson settles, seeming content to go along at any pace I set as long as I don’t stop fucking him.
I push his shirt up and trail kisses up and down his spine as I rock in and out of him, loving the way his ass squeezes around my cock. His skin is salty from sweat, his larger body feeling incredible under mine. I could get used to this, and that thought scares the hell out of me.
Eventually my slow pace isn’t enough for either of us and I start to thrust faster, harder, and Jackson meets every one. The quiet night fills with sounds of slapping flesh and desperate grunts and moans. Reaching around him, I wrap my hand around his cock and milk the tip just like I showed him when our positions were reversed earlier in the week, feeling his pulse in the thick veins as he swells in my hand, the sticky stream of precum coating my fingers turning thicker until his inner muscles begin to flutter and then spasm around me, dragging my own orgasm from me.
I dig the fingers on my free hand into his hips and throw my head back, crying out to the blanket of stars overhead as I pump my release into the condom deep inside him, feeling it all the more intensely with his ass pulsing around me.
Aftershocks rock us both long after our orgasms fade and we stay bent over the hood of the car for a long time, until I have no choice but to pull out and get rid of the used condom.
Jackson pulls his pants up and I do the same, and then he pulls me into a tender kiss that settles in my chest.
“I suppose we should get home,” I sigh.
“Do you want to stay out here a little longer?”
“Do you mind?” I check.
“Not at all.” He climbs back onto the hood of the car and pats the spot beside him.
27
Campy
I’m in the middle of pouring a cup of coffee when a pair of large arms wrap around me from behind. I melt against Jackson’s bigger frame as he presses his nose to the back of my neck, followed by his lips, before releasing me.
“Morning, darlin’.”
“Morning,” I reply. “What’s your day look like?”
“I have to go on some talk show in a few hours to promote the show, and then I’ve got filmin’ in the afternoon. What about you?” Jackson wrinkles his nose a little when he mentions the talk show. I know he’s thrilled by the response viewers have had, the producers are even optimistic about getting renewed for a second season, but he’s still adjusting to the limelight.
“Filming and then I was going to swing by my mom’s tonight. Are you up for it or are you going to be on set late?”
“I think we’re supposed to wrap around seven if you can wait that long?”
“I can,” I agree. “I was thinking of telling my mom tonight actually.”
“Tellin’ her what? About doing porn?” his eyes go wide and I laugh.
“Oh my god, no,” I laugh. “About me and you. If that’s okay? Or is that too serious for what we’re doing? Am I moving too fast?” I ramble, second guessing my decision until Jackson cuts me off with his lips on mine.
“You should know by now, I’m not afraid of serious. If you’re ready to tell her, I’m happy to be there to support you,” he assures me. “Do you think she’ll be upset?”
“No. She might be surprised but she won’t be an asshole about it. Strangely enough, when I was thirteen she sat me down and told me she would love me no matter my sexuality. Maybe she saw it even then. Everyone else seemed to realize it before I did, so it would make sense.”
“It’s possible,” he agrees. “Either way, I’m more than happy to go with you. You know I love seein’ your mama anyway.”
“She likes you too. If anything, she might be upset that I got you before she could,” I tease.
Jackson smiles and shakes his head at me before giving me one final kiss and releasing me.
“I should be home around seven-thirty and then we can go see your mama. Have a good day, darlin’.”
“You too.”
I practically float through my day with thoughts of Jackson on my mind. Being able to freely think about Jackson while I’m filming without guilt or confusion makes it a hell of a lot easier to keep an erection and show the necessary enthusiasm. And I’m not the only one who notices the difference.
“I take it whatever’s been bothering you is resolved? My ass certainly felt the difference today,” Heart jokes after we finish up.
“Yeah,” I confirm, and then, just because I’m feeling bold and giddy, I tell him. “Jackson and I are seeing each other.”
Heart chuckles at me, clapping me on the shoulder. “That’s great, man.”
I make my way to the showers with a pep in my step and a smile on my face. Telling Heart about Jackson felt good. It makes me want to tell everyone I see that Jackson and I are together.
While I wait for Jackson to get home, I do some cleaning around the apartment and then, on a whim, grab my laptop to log onto the UC-Davis website to look at the vet school information. I know it’s a ways off, but I love looking at the class catalog and imagining what it would be like to register for classes, to excitedly page through text books in preparation. A longing ache starts in my chest and stays there while I look at all the pictures of the campus, and the clinic, and smiling students.
By the time Jackson gets home, my good mood from the day is waning thanks to my stupid idea to browse the vet school website, but as soon as I see his crooked smile, it perks me back up a little.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as soon as he notices my face.
“Nothing, just bumming myself out,” I wave him off. His gaze doesn’t leave mine as he waits for further explanation. “I was looking at vet school stuff and just feeling pretty down that it’s so far off.”
Jackson’s eyes soften with sympathy and he crosses the room to sit down beside me on the couch.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you will get there. You have too much passion not to.”
“I know,” I agree, giving him a weak smile. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. Now, let me get changed quick and we can go.”
“Sounds good.”
We spend the drive to my mom’s singing along to the radio and talking about nothing. When Jackson is singing his heart out to Bohemian Rhapsody, terribly off-key I might add, I look over at him and my heart gives a violent flutter. Is this what falling in love feels like?
“What?” he asks, no doubt noticing the strange way I’m looking at him.
“Nothing, just don’t audition for any musicals,” I advise and he gives me the finger.
“Don’t go flashing fingers around unless you plan on using them,” I warn, my voice dripping with suggestion that makes Jackson blush like crazy. God I like his easy blush.
“Do you think of anything but sex?” he teases back.
“Hello, porn star,” I point at myself and his smile falls a little. “Does it bother you?” I ask, my nerves ramping up as I wait for the answer. If he says yes, what would I do? I can’t afford to quit. It’s a can of worms I probably shouldn’t have opened.
“Not the sex part, I get it’s only a job and you don’t make it sound particularly sexy. But it bothers me you aren’t happy.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “Me too.”
Before we can dig into this discussion any further, we reach my mom’s house. Pulling into the driveway, the anxiety that was absent this morning rears its head.
“Are you nervous?” Jackson asks.
“A little,” I confess.
“It’s going to be fine.”
“It is,” I agree. “Let’s do this.”
My mom is lying on the couch when we step inside, and she gives us a pained smile. I look around and I’m pleased to see the new health aide is keeping things clean.
“Hey, Mom, how are you doing?”
She grimaces, trying to sit up, and I rush over to help her.
“Fine. A little dizzy and weak today, but otherwise good.”
“How’s your new nurse working out?”
“She’s helping a lot. I hate to admit it, but she’s really making my life easier.”
A knot of worry loosens in my chest. No matter what it’s costing me, financially or otherwise, if it’s making her life easier, it’s worth it.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that.”
“Jackson, I’m so glad you came,” she says, noticing him and waving him over. “I’ve been watching your show. You are amazingly talented, and you look so handsome as a cowboy.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Jackson says politely, bending down to give her a hug.
“I bet you have girls following you everywhere now, don’t you?”
He laughs and glances over at me.
“I have an admirer or two,” he admits. “But girls ain’t exactly my type.”
“Well, I’m sure you have plenty of men after you too.”
He chuckles again but doesn’t say anything. This is as good of an opening as I imagine I’ll get, so I go for it.
“Mom, Jackson and I are dating.”
She blinks in surprise for a few seconds before a bright smile spreads across her face.
“Oh, honey, that makes me so happy. I thought there might be something between you two, but I wasn’t sure if you were still in denial.”
“In denial?”
“Well, you’ve always been a little blind to the crushes you’ve had on other boys, I wasn’t sure if you’d come to terms with that or not.”
“What are you talking about? I’ll admit, realizing I’m not exactly straight has been a newer revelation, but I haven’t had feelings for any guys other than Jackson before.”
“Sweetie, that isn’t true at all. Your middle school best friend, Tucker? You used to absolutely moon over that boy. And the way you talked about that veterinarian at the wildlife rehab you volunteer at, I thought you two might’ve been dating and you were just afraid to tell me.”
“Veterinarian?” Jackson asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
“I don’t have a crush on him, he was just teaching me some cool things and he was interesting to work with.”
“And handsome,” she adds.
“What? You never even met him.”
“I know, but you mentioned on more than one occasion that you thought he was handsome,” she points out with a smirk.
“I did?”
“You did.”
I look up at Jackson and find him watching me with lights dancing in his eyes. “I can’t decide if I’m jealous or amused.”
“There’s nothing to be jealous of,” I assure him, reaching for his hand. “Maybe I did have a crush on a couple of other guys without realizing it, but you’re the only one I’ve liked enough to admit it to myself.”
“That’s so sweet,” my mom coos.
With the confession out of the way, I head to the kitchen to get a late dinner together and the three of us spend a few hours playing cards and enjoying each other’s company. Maybe my mom was right, but I meant what I said to Jackson, he’s the only one who’s managed to get under my skin. I don’t know what that means for us, but I do know he deserves dates and romance, and I’m going to make sure he gets it.
28
Jackson
Ever since our phone call, Brax and I have resumed our usual texting, and I’m happy we’ve moved past it, especially since my folks are still chilly. We’ve spoken on the phone since, but they’re struggling to understand why I would drop out of college six months before graduating. I get it, but they’re not showing much understanding for my side of things.
Two weeks ago, Brax texted me he wanted to visit me during spring break. When I inquired whether he told our parents, he cheekily texted back that if I didn't need their permission to drop out of college, he sure as hell didn't need it to visit his own brother. That was followed by a snarky reminder that he was twenty, not twelve. Good point.
I said yes, of course, strangely excited to actually have a family member visiting me. Brax had planned to take the bus, poor college student that he is, but I surprised him with a plane ticket. That resulted in a few texts about me being rich, which I denied, but it was all in good humor, and he did accept my gift to him.
Since I still haven't bought a car, I asked Cameron if I could borrow his. He was fine with it, as long as I dropped him off at the Ballsy Boys studio and promised to be there on time to pick him up again.
And that’s where I find myself on a sunny afternoon, on my way to the airport to pick Brax up. Traffic to LAX is the usual nightmare, but that's all forgotten when I spot my brother on the curb, waiting for me.
His face lights up when he sees me exit the car, and people around us snicker as we hug each other. I guess it's easy to spot that we're brothers, seeing as how we're dressed almost identically, including our hats and boots.
"It's so good to see you," I say, hugging him tightly.
"Right back atcha, bro. That your car? I would've expected you to be able to afford a little more luxury."
Right, then. I had wanted to start with a little small talk before dropping this particular bomb on him, but I guess there was no time like the present. "It's my boyfriend's car."
His head whips around and he meets my eyes over the roof of the car. "Boyfriend?" he asks. "Last time we talked, you were still dating and playing the field. Any more surprises you didn't tell me about?"
I shrug. "A few, but we have a week to catch up."
"Tell me about your boyfriend," Brax says as soon as we drive off, and I'm beyond grateful he sounds genuinely interested.
"His name is Cameron, he's a few years older than me, and he wants to be a wildlife veterinarian."
"Cool. How did you guys meet?"
"He's my roommate, actually. Or I should say, I'm his roommate, since it's his apartment. We became friends, then more."
Brax makes an appreciative hum, not showing any sign of disapproval. "You're okay with all this?" I check.
"With you being gay? Hell yeah. I’m not Dad, Jax, you know that. I'm happy you're in a relationship. Is it serious?" Then he snickers. "Of course it serious. It's you, after all."
I shoot him a quick look sideways. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"No offense, but you’re the most traditional guy I know when it comes to relationships, aside from the fact that you're gay. I'm pretty sure that if you’d been straight, you woulda been married already."
Isn't it funny, how Brax can see so easily what took me much longer to figure out? "As far as I'm concerned, it's serious, but I'd appreciate it if you kept that to yourself. Cameron needs a bit more time to get there."
"He's not in the closet, is he?"
It's an unexpected question from Brax, one that shows a heck of a lot more understanding for the issues gay men face than I would've expected from him. Has he
read up on what it means to be gay?
"No, but he only recently came out," I say, then remember that as far as the public knows, Cameron has been gay all along.
I sigh inwardly with how complicated that makes things. It's not that I don't want Brax to know about Cameron's other job, but it's not something I want to lead with. I want to give him a chance to know Cameron first, before his opinion might be tainted by knowing he does porn. I know my brother is not the judgmental type, but it's a big step from our conservative background to being completely accepting and understanding, and I want to make sure he is before I risk telling him.
It's not because I care that much about what he thinks of Cameron, though I do care some because Brax's opinion matters to me, but mostly because I want to protect Cameron. If my brother is gonna have an issue with Cam doing porn, then that's something I want to talk to Brax about first before Cam gets wind of it.
"Let's just say it's a bit messy, but he's a good guy, Brax. I promise you, you'll like him."
"Good," Brax says. "I can't wait. When am I gonna meet him?
That's when it sinks in, that I agreed to pick Cameron up from the Ballsy Boys studio… And I have Brax in my car. So much for keeping his other job a secret from him. I dictate a quick text to Cam, telling him we’re on our way and that we should be there in about forty-five minutes. As I'm chatting with Brax and catching up on the local gossip in our little town, I try to find a solution for my problem in the back of my head. But I can't text while I'm driving, and I can't dictate anything either, because Brax will hear it. How can I let Cam know I want to pick him up elsewhere?
A few minutes later, a text comes in. Just to be safe, I don't let Siri read it out loud, but glance at it on the screen. Relief fills me as I read Cam's reply, telling me he'll meet me in a parking lot two blocks from the studio. It seems he was ahead of me already. Thank goodness for that.
By the time we’re close to where we’re picking up Cam, Brax and I have decided we’re in the mood for pizza tonight. I rarely eat it anymore because of my strict diet, but I guess my brother being here is a good reason to splurge a little. Plus, Cam introduced me to this wonderful authentic Italian restaurant that makes the most amazing pizza with a super thin crust.
Campy (Ballsy Boys Book 4) Page 19