The Choice

by Shayla Black

  “Unless I’m elbows deep in a patient, I’m never too busy for you.”

  He meant that, but he’d had lunch with her almost every day for a week and he was only more desperate to touch her. Still, if all he ever had with Heavenly was conversation, that was better than having no part of her at all.

  “I’m really grateful, but I don’t want to cause problems,” she murmured. “I-I mean, if you have a girlfriend or someone spec—”

  “I don’t.” And if he was merely her “friend,” why did she want to know his relationship status?

  Heavenly looked surprised…but distinctly not unhappy. “I just assumed you would since you’re, um…good-looking and successful and really, really nice.”

  Nice? He’d been called a lot of four-letter words, but never that one.

  She dropped her gaze, suddenly fascinated with the scarred Formica table between them. “Now that I think about it, Raine mentioned you were single…”

  So, she was interested in him as more than a friend. Jesus… What the hell was he going to do? Resisting her was getting really fucking hard. Because so was he.

  Beck scowled. “Raine meddles.”

  “She communicates.”

  He snorted. “Should I be worried?”

  “No, silly. We just like to see the people we care about happy. I know she thinks the world of you.”

  Was Heavenly saying she cared about him, too? “She’s the little sister I never wanted.”

  Heavenly laughed. “She feels the same.”

  The quiet between them hummed with awareness. Had Heavenly ever imagined him as the lover who could teach her the joys of raw, primal, deep, consuming sex? Or had her sheltered little fantasies even progressed beyond kisses?

  Beck mentally jerked on the reins of his libido by extracting an envelope from his pocket. “When you mentioned you were writing a paper on Guillain-Barré Syndrome, I did some research and talked to Dr. Litchfield, who’s the head of neurology.”

  Heavenly plucked up the envelope and eased it open with glee. She scanned the information he’d printed off for her, along with several medical journals with articles about the disease. Her baby blues went wide. “This is great. Thank you so much!”

  “You’re welcome. I didn’t know much about the disease when you first asked, but I do now. You picked a rare and ugly disorder to focus on.”

  Her happiness faded into a somber nod. “The way the virus strikes with little or no warning is frightening. But the way it assaults the patient’s immune system, which turns against the nerves, is even more terrible.”

  Beck agreed. “I’ll keep wading through my medical journals for more articles and bring you what I find.”

  “I would really appreciate that. I want to know as much as I can.”

  “You’re welcome.” Picking up his sandwich, Beck finally took a bite. He watched Heavenly pore over the documents as he washed down his food with a gulp of coffee. “How’s your paper coming along? Shouldn’t you be turning it in soon since the semester is ending?”

  “What?” She didn’t lift her head, just kept drinking in the words on the page. “Oh, it’s…good. I’ve got a few days. Online classes have a more flexible schedule… It’s taking a little extra time because I’ve decided to make this a case study. I’ll learn more that way.”

  She was dedicated. And compassionate. She really would make a great nurse. Beck vowed to do everything he could to help her.

  “Great idea.”

  She kept reading. “Thanks.”

  He gently grazed his fingers over her delicate knuckles to get her attention…and for the pure pleasure of touching her. When she lifted those big blue eyes to him, Beck held in a groan. “Are you sure you won’t let me buy you lunch?”

  “I’m positive. As usual, I got full on the goodies at the nurses’ station.”

  Still, he felt guilty for stuffing his face every day while she sipped water. “Those ‘goodies’ probably aren’t healthy. You need protein, fruits and vegetables, and complex carbohydrates, little girl.”

  Heavenly lifted her chin in a defiant tilt. “I learned about the food pyramid in grade school, Dr. Beckman. I’m just not hungry.”

  God, he’d love to slide his fingers into her hair, bend her over the table, and rip away her pastel-green scrubs before he spanked the sass out of her. After she counted, begged, and cried, he’d curl her onto his lap, hold her tight, and reassure her…right before he fucked her raw.

  Down, boy. Down.

  Seconds later, Heavenly’s stomach let out an audible growl. She ignored it. Beck wasn’t fooled. He didn’t know what she was up to, but she sure as hell wasn’t going hungry.

  Without a word, he pulled out his wallet and plucked out a twenty. Gripping her wrist, he shoved the money in her palm and curled her fingers closed. “You will get yourself something healthy to eat now.”

  “But—”

  “It wasn’t a request.” He dropped his voice and pinned her with an expression ripe with displeasure. “Go.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “I do. We’re done discussing this.”

  The sleeping Dominant inside him stretched and roared. Beck mentally tightened the leash on his dark side.

  Begrudgingly, she rose to her feet, resolution stamping her face. “Just this once.”

  Beck raised a brow at her. We’ll see about that.

  As she walked away, he watched the smooth sway of her ass.

  “Ahem.” The not-so-subtle clearing of a woman’s throat caught his attention.

  Reluctantly, he dragged his stare from Heavenly and peered up, half expecting Kathryn or one of her slut squad. Instead, he found the hospital’s nursing administrator standing over him.

  He stifled a guilty grimace. “Good afternoon, Nurse Lewis. Can I do something for you?”

  “I’m sorry to interrupt your…lunch.” A knowing smirk curled the corners of her mouth. “I wanted to thank you for watching over Ms. Young this past week.”

  Bridget Lewis said the words like he was a gentleman.

  Beck shrugged, playing it cool. Heavenly was merely a volunteer now, but if she wanted a future at the hospital, Bridget could either make that happen…or make her life hell. “Well, I remember my first year in med school. It’s a lot to deal with. I’m trying to help Ms. Young learn while she juggles her duties here.”

  “Of course,” she said in a tone that told Beck they both knew better. “Heavenly is a sweet girl. She’ll make a good nurse. She’s smart, dedicated, and an extremely hard worker. I see a lot of potential in her.” Bridget shot him a shrewd stare. “It would break my heart if she left.”

  Left? “Why would she do that?”

  “I thought she might have told you about the challenges she’s been facing.”

  What else, besides being hungry, had she kept from him? “Actually, I’d like to hear about them from you.”

  The nursing administrator carefully weighed her words, and her hesitation amplified his concern. “Heavenly is great with patients but hasn’t bonded with the nurses in her unit. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be concerned, but I’ve been made aware of some situations recently that give me pause.”

  Beck had no idea what she meant. Four lunches together, and Heavenly had told him nothing. “Really?”

  “The surgical lube all over her locker could be written off as part of the grand ‘welcoming’ tradition, as could the unused catheters being stuffed inside.”

  He rolled his eyes. “The nurses should have gotten the hazing out of their system by now. She’s volunteered here for a few weeks, and that’s crap they usually pull in the first day or two.”

  “Precisely, and that stuff is harmless. But the pranks have escalated. More recently, someone rigged an aerosol can of deodorant to the door mechanism of her locker so that when she opened it, the spray blasted her face. Most disturbing, last Wednesday someone painted the word WHORE in red on the inside.”

  What the fuck? That wasn’t mere hazing.
“What’s been done?”

  “I only became aware of this whole situation a few minutes ago when Heavenly reported some money stolen from her wallet, which had been locked away.”

  Maybe that explained why she’d been prepared to go hungry…but not why she hadn’t breathed a word about any of this to him. Stubborn girl. He was going to get some goddamn answers.

  “Is the nursing staff bored in the ER? Do they need more to do?”

  “Oh, they should be plenty busy. But if you’re looking for a reason they’ve zeroed in on Heavenly, I’ve got some theories. First, she keeps to herself. Some may interpret her standoffishness as being haughty.”

  No one was less stuck-up than Heavenly. She was too sweet to be so misunderstood.

  “What’s your other theory?”

  “That not everyone appreciates your marked interest in her.”

  Translation: either the other nurses were condemning Heavenly without really knowing her or they were jealous hags. His money was on the latter.

  He’d only meant to protect her from Manwhore’s advances. Granted, he’d been enjoying his lunches with her too much to stop. He certainly hadn’t given a second thought to the jealous vipers and their petty reprisals.

  “Do you know who’s doing this to her?” Beck glanced at the slut squad. Kathryn watched him with a sharp stare.

  Bridget followed his line of sight. “I have my suspicions but no proof.”

  If it would help derail Kathryn, he’d cry sexual harassment to HR, since she’d made umpteen passes at him. But she could easily deflect by accusing him in turn. If he confronted the bitch directly, she might get even more vindictive with Heavenly. But somehow, someway, he’d protect her. He had faced more cunning foes than a horny nurse pushing thirty and come out just fine.

  “What can you do to stop this?”

  “I’m going to let everyone in her unit know this sort of behavior is grounds for dismissal.”

  It wasn’t a perfect solution, but maybe that threat would shelter Heavenly from more of the bitches’ antics. If not, he’d come up with a plan B. “If the situation continues, please let me know.”

  “Of course.”

  Despite seething inside, Beck managed a smile. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “Enjoy your lunch.”

  “One minute. Before you go… When did the nurses start bringing snacks to their unit on a regular basis? They never did during my rotation in ER, unless it was to celebrate a birthday or promotion.”

  She frowned, confused. “As a rule, they don’t.”

  “What about today?”

  Bridget shook her head. “This morning when I spoke with Heavenly about her missing money, I didn’t see any goodies at their station.”

  So not only had Heavenly not mentioned being bullied, but she’d lied to him about the food as well?

  Beck swallowed a livid growl. “Thank you for the clarification.”

  “Of course. Is there something special going on today that I’m not aware of?”

  If Beck had his way, it would be Spank Heavenly’s Ass Red Day. Instead of balloons, streamers, or a parade, the two of them would celebrate alone—in the dungeon. He’d throw her over his knee, yank down her panties, and slap her tender cheeks until she couldn’t sit for a week. She’d learn the value of telling him the goddamn truth.

  But he couldn’t do any of that, and it was driving him fucking crazy.

  Beck shook his head and forced a cordial expression. “None I can think of. Have a good day.”

  “You, too.” As the nursing administrator walked away, Beck tried to tamp down his blazing anger. It wasn’t easy. Why the hell hadn’t Heavenly told him about her problems?

  Across the table, she slid a tray onto the scarred surface, laden with roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, a hearty dinner roll, a side salad, a wedge of cheesecake, and a large soda. It was a sizable dinner for a big man. But lunch for a little girl? Either Heavenly had one hell of an appetite or, more likely, she hadn’t eaten all day.

  She spread her napkin in her lap and shoveled bite after bite into her mouth. The fucking truth had been staring him in the face. And didn’t he feel like an asshole for not realizing that Heavenly wasn’t just starving today, but every day?

  The girl was broke. Why else would she work in shoes so unsuitable for the job? Or only have water for lunch?

  Heavenly didn’t need a hand merely with her case study; she needed basic necessities. He might never be her lover, but he could at least be her friend. If she thought he pitied her, she’d refuse his help. So he’d have to be discreet. Devious, even. Luckily, he was good at that.

  While he was at it, he’d work on figuring her out. The woman was a puzzle. A conundrum. A maze. Trying to read her was like reading a technical manual in Braille. Still, something about her compelled him to understand.

  “So…” he tossed out after a few forkfuls. “How are things?”

  Heavenly carefully set her utensil aside before taking a long sip of her drink. Beck knew a stall tactic when he saw one but waited for her reply.

  “What ‘things’ do you mean?”

  “Oh, you know…classes, tests.” The bitches of east wing. “Your volunteer work here at the hospital? Life?”

  “Fine.”

  She lied to him without hesitation, without even blinking. No mention of anything vital like being tormented or hungry.

  What are you going to do about it?

  Nothing he could do…for now. But with a little finagling, he would ingrain himself in her life. Open her up. Earn her trust. Help her.

  But if he got that close, what would stop him from taking her to bed? Beck feared nothing at all.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Fairy lights twinkled like diamonds, casting a warm glow of welcome over the guests gathered on Raine, Liam, and Hammer’s expansive back patio. Standing heaters and a big fire pit kept the crisp December air at bay. The trio had invited their dearest friends for this holiday party, and the cozy event was in full swing when Seth arrived.

  He was damn happy for them. They stood close, never drifting far apart. Despite the still-visible bruising beneath her makeup, Raine looked positively radiant. Hammer and Liam were both puffed up with pride at their impending fatherhood. Their resilience amazed him. He knew too well the harsh reality of tragedy and what it took to survive the aftermath.

  After everything they’d been through, they deserved this beautiful new home, good times, peace, and the joyful life they planned together. If all went well, they’d be blessed with a baby, too.

  An unexpected pang of envy twitched in his chest.

  Frowning, Seth stared at the amber liquid in his glass, gave it a swirl, then downed the last of the whiskey. When he glanced up again, the threesome’s nearly tangible love still stared him in the face. That pang poked him once more. Christ, he hated this maudlin shit.

  Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. He’d had nothing close to a meaningful relationship since… Well, for years. Completely his own fault. Eight years ago, he’d made a vow of singledom with good reason. It had been great…mostly. Tonight, he found himself wishing for more.

  Unless he made drastic changes in his life, he’d never have it.

  Footsteps behind him, a sudden, loud pop had him snapping around, every muscle tense. Gunshot?

  Heart thundering, he scanned the gathering. Nothing but conversation and laughter—and one of Shadows’ dungeon monitors, Pike, opening a bottle of champagne. Dragging in a breath, Seth forced himself to relax.

  No one’s getting shot tonight. Stand down.

  Suddenly, someone clapped his back. Seth whipped around, hypervigilant again. God, he was always jumpy this time of year…

  He felt like an idiot when he saw Liam standing beside him with a grin.

  “It’s a party, mate. No long faces allowed here.”

  Seth pasted on a smile. “Just lost in thought.”

  “Thinking about the past?”

&
nbsp; “The future, actually.” That would probably surprise the hell out of Liam.

  His friend raised a brow. “I can guess what you’re thinking about. Or should I say who?”

  Seth followed Liam’s line of sight and clapped eyes on Heavenly. No mistaking the angel.

  She sat alone on the far side of the yard, her silhouette illuminated by the party lights strung between trees. The simple blue shift she wore accentuated her slender shoulders and the curve of her breasts. Her hair hung in loose waves that draped over her shoulders and down to her waist with a luster like spun gold. Her slender legs had him wondering how they’d feel wrapped around him. She wore the same sandals she had for their picnic. Hell, even her toes were cute.

  He’d suspected she would be here, but seeing her was still a punch in the gut.

  “I barely know her.” And he shouldn’t be thinking about her so constantly after two weeks, one date, and no kisses. But for some reason, he’d hardly been able to think about anything else since feeling the first inexplicable pull to her.

  “Well, if you’re not interested, I suggest putting your tongue back in your mouth,” Liam teased.

  “I didn’t say I wasn’t interested. She’s really sweet. Maybe too sweet. I’d bet money she’s a virgin.”

  To his surprise, Liam burst out laughing. “Is that your problem? You daft prick, that just means she’s ripe for the plucking.”

  Maybe Liam was right, but… “My life is back in New York.”

  “Why can’t you enjoy her company now?”

  “Heavenly isn’t the kind of girl you love and leave. Besides, if I stayed and ‘plucked’ her, could you really see her prancing around the dungeon in a corset, kneeling for me? Look at her…”

  “I am. She just might surprise you.”

  He whipped his gaze back to his friend. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “You think Raine made sense for me?” Liam laughed. “It’s not about logic. Remember when you said I acted as though Raine had a voodoo pussy? You were right.” He nodded toward Heavenly. “She’s yours.”

  Seth rolled his eyes. “I’ve never even seen her pussy.”

  “You’d like to.”

  “I’m a guy. She’s pretty. That isn’t rocket science.”