The Choice
Page 24
“What a fidiot.”
“You’re not perfect, Casanova. I doubt you can keep your pants zipped long enough to be faithful. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out you got some action back while you were back in New York.”
Seth felt a guilty flush crawl up his face. “Is your sex life so lacking that you have to ask about mine?”
“Get serious. Heavenly won’t be able to handle you playing musical beds.”
“The truth might actually shock you.”
“Oh? You don’t know anything about commitment.”
“I know it isn’t doing the same club sub two nights in a row. It takes caring, compromise, understanding—”
“Don’t lecture me. I’m not the one with the revolving-pussy policy.”
Seth didn’t owe Beck any information about his personal life. “For the right woman, I’d be very monogamous.”
“Really? Earlier today, Hammer mentioned a woman you loved who scared the shit out of you. Were you faithful to her?”
Seth clutched the butter knife and fought the urge to eviscerate the bastard. “Every fucking day, so why don’t you shut up? I listened to you. Now hear me: I’m not leaving Heavenly until she realizes I’m the one for her. So we can squabble about it like boys. No, like Hammer and Liam—”
“I wouldn’t waste the energy to punch you in the snow.”
“You’re not worth freezing my ass off, either. So we can spend dinner talking about weather, sports, and Hammer’s situation or eat in silence; I don’t care which. After that, I’m bringing my A-game and letting Heavenly decide who she wants.”
“That’s fine by me.” Beck lifted his martini. “I know the best man will win.”
“Hi!” Raine opened her front door the following afternoon. “Come in. I’m glad you had time to hang out today.”
With a smile, Heavenly stepped inside her friend’s big house. The place always awed her. It was somehow opulent and cozy at once.
As she entered, the scents of vanilla and cinnamon hit her, along with baking nuts and something yeasty. “Me, too. Thanks for inviting me. Gosh, something smells divine.”
Raine shut the door and led her inside. “After the morning I had, I needed to bake.”
“What happened?”
“Several things. Hammer’s got a lot going on. It’s”—the brunette waved her away with a sniffle—“hopefully fine now. Everything is emotional. I visited my mother’s and sister’s graves for the first time today, too. I had to do it.”
Sympathy twisted Heavenly’s heart. Dr. Beckman had given her sketchy information about the sad fate of Raine’s family. Raine herself had filled in with detail. “I’m glad you went. Do you feel better? Did you get closure?”
The other woman gave a shaky nod and pasted on a smile. “Yeah. But after coming home, I needed to make snickerdoodles and banana bread, so now I’m feeling a lot calmer. Want some?”
Heavenly’s mouth watered. She wasn’t skipping lunch anymore, thanks to Dr. Beckman, but she still had an occasional sweet tooth. “Please.”
“Be right back.”
Before Raine could disappear into the kitchen, a big hulk with vivid blue eyes that matched Raine’s pushed out the kitchen door, offering them goodies from their plastic containers. Who the heck was this guy?
“Thanks.” Raine turned to Heavenly. “This is my brother. River, this is Heavenly. She took great care of me at the hospital after…well, after Bill.”
“I remember seeing her while I blended in the waiting room. Hey.” The big guy stuck his hand in her direction. “Nice to meet you.”
Heavenly didn’t remember seeing him at all that morning. As she stared at his outstretched palm, his size alone made her wary. But the sharpness of his stare unsettled her more… Clearly, this guy didn’t miss much.
“Same to you.” She finally shook his hand, then glanced Raine’s way. “This is the brother you’ve been looking for all this time?”
“Yep. Though his grand reentrance in my life wasn’t exactly the way I pictured it.”
River winced. “Okay, so I misunderstood your relationship with Liam and Hammer. Can you blame an older brother?”
“Misunderstood?” Raine shot him a quelling glare. “That’s a vast understatement.”
River snorted. “On that note, I’m leaving to resume my job search. I’ll see you soon, storm cloud.”
When he kissed her cheek, she smiled. “Sounds good. Call me.”
He nodded, then turned Heavenly’s way. “Have a good one.”
“You, too.” She waved.
When the big guy let himself out of the house, Raine faced her again and reached for a cookie, wearing a genuine smile. “He’s a good guy. Hardheaded and misguided at times but…he’s a man.”
That made Heavenly laugh. “Well, since your big brother is back, maybe Beck will pester you less. Or not. I think he enjoys it.”
Raine rolled her eyes. “Keep him busy, will you? I have my hands full with Liam and Hammer. Oh, speaking of Beck, you never did tell me how your date at the art gallery was?” Raine’s sideways glance seemed both searching and knowing. “I wanted to see the exhibit myself but we never found the time.”
The works of art floated through Heavenly’s thoughts again, as did the memory of the doctor standing beside her, asking questions, explaining patiently, and watching her as some of the pieces elicited instant, deep arousal.
Heavenly cleared her throat. “It was…interesting. Did you know the subject of the show?”
“I heard.” And she didn’t sound shocked. Then again, the woman had two lovers… “Did you find it entertaining or educational?”
“Both.” In fact, part of Heavenly itched to try some of the things she’d seen depicted, things she’d never even imagined until Beck had opened her eyes.
“But you haven’t spent much time with him since that date?”
“Except during lunch at the hospital, none.”
And that troubled Heavenly. They were still friends, but they hadn’t had the chance to explore something more. Of course, some of that was her own fault. She’d had to cancel on him twice since their date at the gallery. She was beginning to hate Bazookas, but she needed the money too much to quit. Still, if he had more than friendship on his mind, he certainly wasn’t in a rush to get there…
Raine looked shocked. “Seriously?”
“Well, he was out of town for a couple of weeks. Friend of the family had a medical emergency in Vegas, he said.”
“Hammer told me Beck went to medical school there,” Raine offered.
Heavenly hadn’t known that.
“What about Valentine’s Day?” Raine leaned in, grinning. “Didn’t Beck finally lay a big ol’ kiss on you then?”
No. He’d promised her one at Disneyland. So far, he hadn’t delivered. She was dying for it. Him…not so much.
“My jerk of a boss said if I didn’t cover a shift, he’d fire me. I never work on Thursdays, but someone broke an ankle and I was the first waitress to answer his distress call.” She shrugged. “It sucked, but at least the tips were decent.”
“Sorry.” Raine sighed. “I know you’re busy, so I appreciate you coming by. I was feeling a little down after the visit to the cemetery. The men in my life try to cheer me up. But every so often, I need girl time.”
“I’m happy to cheer you up. Especially if you baked cookies.”
When she plucked one from the container and nibbled with a groan, Raine laughed. “So…do you still think about Seth?”
The question caught her off guard. Heavenly bit her lip. “I’ve tried not to. But, yeah. A lot.”
More than she should. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her time with Beck, especially away from the hospital. He was handsome, witty, fascinating. He made her feel important and special…just not always romantically. Sometimes she was convinced he wanted their friendship to be more. Other times, he seemed content with the status quo. He confused her.
Seth, on the other hand, had mad
e her feel beautiful and desirable from the moment they’d met. He’d constantly undressed her with his stare. He’d said things that made her blush in a voice that made her wet…until he’d gone.
Raine grinned and picked up her phone, dashed off a quick text, then set her device upside down on the table between them. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he still thinks of you, too.”
Excitement bounced in her belly—until reality dashed it. “The last time I texted him, he barely replied.”
“Hmm.” Raine shrugged. “What exactly did you say to Seth before he left? Liam didn’t tell me.”
Heavenly pressed her lips together and felt her face flame. “It probably sounds stupid now, but I was trying to be honest. I told Seth that I, um…had feelings for Beck. He left not two minutes later.”
Raine rolled her eyes. “Oh, spare me wounded male pride. I mean, it’s not like you didn’t have feelings for Seth, too.”
“Right.” After all, she’d been prepared to take him into her home and into her body that night. Walking away had looked embarrassingly easy for him. She cringed just thinking about it.
“And you told him that, didn’t you?”
Hadn’t she? “I think so. But I’m not sure it would have mattered to him.” Not the way he had mattered to her. “We only had one date.”
But Seth had planned the most romantic afternoon she could have imagined. The wine, the bread, the dessert…the company. Even the weather had been perfect. The memory still made her sigh.
“Oh, it mattered,” Raine assured. “The question is, do you want to see him again?”
“If he ever comes to town again, sure. But I’m not holding my breath.”
“Maybe you should.” Raine gave her a too-innocent smile. “Tell me about school. How are your classes?”
They fell into an easy conversation, Heavenly chatting about her semester, followed by Raine lamenting about the early symptoms of her pregnancy. As they giggled over old wives’ tales meant to end morning sickness, someone knocked on her door.
Instantly, Raine jumped up, seeming more excited than surprised by the interruption. “Stay right there.”
Footsteps resounded through the big room. On the other side of the wall, Heavenly heard the door open. Raine didn’t greet anyone or speak at all. Maybe it had been the postman. Heavenly eyed the cookies. Maybe she could steal one more…
As she lifted the contraband to her lips, Raine ran—literally—through the living room and headed for the kitchen. “I totally forgot to offer you coffee. Want some?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be back. It may take a while,” she said as she disappeared into the kitchen and the door shut behind her.
The coffee wasn’t a big deal. Heavenly would be happy with her company—and cookies.
She took another bite, closed her eyes, and moaned as the sinful cinnamon and brown sugar mixture melted on her tongue.
“Hi, angel.”
Heavenly swallowed, then froze. She knew that voice.
Seth?
She turned slowly. It couldn’t be real.
But there he stood in the doorway. Tall. Wearing jeans that hugged him in all the right places. Green eyes intent, body still, everything about him so sharp—especially his stare, which he focused solely on her.
Feeling like she was in a dream, Heavenly set her cookie aside and rose. “Is that really you?”
He took confident strides into the room. “Damn, I forgot how beautiful you are.”
Five seconds, and he already had her blushing. She smiled, unable to do anything but float in his direction.
“You look…” Gorgeous. Masculine. Way more edible than Raine’s cookies. “Good. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. What are you doing here? When did you arrive?”
“A couple of days ago. I’ve been busy helping Hammer, but all I’ve wanted to do is lay eyes on you.” A little smile lifted the corners of his lips. “Your last text said you were going to miss me. Did you?”
Seth’s stare drilled down into her eyes as he took her fingers between his. Her blush spread. Arousal darkened his face. Her body flashed hot in response as he surveyed her every curve and swell, drinking her in with barely a touch. She felt as if she stood before him stark-naked.
The hunger on his face had her heart skipping beats. She suddenly forgot how to breathe. Would he kiss her? Did he want to?
She was almost disappointed when Seth lifted her hand and pressed his lips to her palm instead. Then he dragged the tip of his tongue up her sensitive flesh in a deliberate stroke. She shivered, her skin burning when he touched her. Before she could help herself, her fingers cupped his face, brushing his sexy, sandy five o’clock shadow as if they had a mind of their own. He looked so vital and virile, almost dangerous. Her heart rate picked up. Her nipples peaked.
“E-every day.”
His smile widened and something like thrill lit his eyes as he brushed the hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “Yeah? I missed you, too, angel.”
Gosh, he was so handsome he made her insides gooey. Made her lips ache with wanting to feel them covering her own.
Heavenly imagined him kissing her breathless. Her brain sputtered. Her words evaporated. All she could do was blink at him and get lost in his expression that silently promised pleasure beyond anything her innocent fantasies had conjured.
“Can we talk?” He threaded his fingers through hers and led her to the sofa before lifting the last of her snickerdoodle back to her lips. “Want to finish your cookie first?”
Taking a bite from his hand was incredibly intimate. She chewed, still dumbstruck, unable and unwilling to look at anything but him. The way he watched her spread goose bumps all over her body.
“Thanks.” The word fell from her lips, mostly because she wasn’t sure what else to say.
The rapport they’d shared before he had gone to New York had been flirty and light. In its place lay a deeper awareness. A new focus. Something she couldn’t put her finger on.
He swiped his thumb across her lip, gathering leftover crumbs and taking them back to her tongue. Without thought, she licked them away. Then she froze, stared, hearing nothing but her own breathing and the wild beat of her heart. Gosh, why had she put her tongue on him? He wasn’t a spoon or an ice cream cone. Was he annoyed? Disgusted? Perturbed?
A wide, slow smile broke out across his face. His eyes flared hot. And Heavenly had her answer. He’d liked it. She knew that when he pushed his thumb farther into her mouth. It seemed like the most natural thing to wrap her lips around the digit and gently suck as he slowly pulled free with a groan.
The air between them felt too thick to breathe and crackled with something she barely understood. All Heavenly knew was that she was afraid to blink because she didn’t want him to go away again.
“Oh, angel… You make me remember exactly why I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was gone.”
Heavenly understood. If anything, Seth was more potent to her than he had been last December. At least then, she’d been able to manage a little witty conversation. Right now, she barely remembered her own name.
“Seth…”
“Don’t tempt me. I already want to kiss you so badly I can’t stand it.” He squeezed her shoulder, then eased back. “You have no idea how hard being away from you has been. I’m sorry about December, the way things ended. It was my fault. I misunderstood everything you said and I didn’t accept your honesty the way I should have. I didn’t even ask questions. But I’m asking now. Do you have feelings for me, Heavenly?”
His words punched through her besotted haze. “Of course. I had no idea…” that it mattered. “I thought you saw me as a…” How could she put this? Heavenly frowned, her thoughts gathering slowly. “A vacation fling. I knew you weren’t staying and I didn’t think you’d ever be interested in me for more than quick sex. I had fun with you on the picnic but…” She sighed and wished she could get unflustered and stop talking in circles. “I’d
made up my mind to spend that, um…evening with you, but I thought I owed it to you to be honest first. You have to know, I would never have decided to, you know, be with you if I didn’t like you, too.”
“You weren’t just sex to me, angel. Don’t you remember me telling you that I was interested in more than your beautiful body? That was my clumsy way of saying I wanted more. I was willing to give you the patience and attention you deserve because you needed to be sure.” He fell quiet, then penetrated her with another fierce stare. “Because I’m definitely interested in all of you.”
Heavenly couldn’t keep the surprise off her face. “Oh, gosh. I never thought… I mean, most of our conversation was about… Everything you said to me at Raine’s party was… So I assumed you wanted…”
“Sex. I see that now. Damn, I told you that day at the grocery store I wanted to make love to you. I thought you understood the difference between…” He shook his head and raked a hand down his face.
“I didn’t. I’m sorry. And I didn’t believe—couldn’t imagine—that I meant more to you than just easy pleasure. I mean, you could have anyone…” An experienced woman who knows how to please you. “Why would you think I didn’t like you? In my mind, you wanted sex, and I was willing to give it to you simply to be with you because that was the only way I thought you’d have me.”
“What a freaking mess.” He sighed. “We both made assumptions and didn’t communicate clearly. I’m going to fix that, and I need you to work with me. Okay?”
She bobbed her head. “I’ll do my best.”
“Good.” He took her hands. “Look, I admit you stung my pride that evening at the grocery store. Suddenly, you didn’t want Beck as merely a friend, and hearing you actually wanted to sleep with him was a shock.”
That made her feel terrible. “I knew immediately I’d upset you. But truthfully, I didn’t think you’d care how I felt as long as I was willing to be with you, but I needed to be honest.”
“I admire honesty, Heavenly. I do. But imagine how you would have taken it if I’d told you that evening that I was interested in sleeping with someone else, too.”
Wretched. Awful. Confused. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She bit her lip against the sting of tears. “I messed up everything.”